Just let her date him she can have sloppy seconds why do you care? Lol ex for a reason I’d just support the decision she’s made. Let her suffer the consequences.
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No just no you’re married y’all broke up yes she’s your friend just support her,
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Distance yourself from her as much as possible. She was never your friend.
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Sounds like you dont want him but dont want anyone else to have him either…I think for my sanity and future relationship with my current partner I would find another job…I think as far as the friend goes I wouldn’t let it bother me and definitely not let it destroy my friendship…
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Just next time she says it wasent her inviting… say I know the truth, you don’t need to lie. Just don’t invite me too. Sad you’re choosing my ex over me or your own boyfriend… I thought you knew what he was like… I’m sure disappointed… about it… say the truth, don’t, not say what you need to say. Swallowing feelings, words create illness…energy doesn’t die, it changes form.
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You can’t control what others do. She obviously knows what you been through. It’s on her if he hurts her. You should focus on you. If you don’t trust her she’s not much of a friend. Stop stressing yourself out. Right now only person hurting is you and that’s not good for you
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That’s not a friend (even if she was a friend in the past). Move on… she obviously doesn’t care about your “friendship” like you do if your ex’s “D” means more to her than you do. Yea, you’re done & over him but it still isn’t right. I wouldn’t trust her as my friend. Exes are off limits to friends in my opinion. There’s too many people in the world to go after a friends ex. If it was just someone you messed around with a few times then that’s different but not an ex of 8 years - it’s girl code to stay away. Let her go with him and he’ll end up hurting her or leaving her. Then she’ll get what she deserves unfortunately - no best friend and no man. To me, a best friend sticks by someone through everything even bad relationships and best friends share and keep secrets and never betray one another. She knows it’s wrong too or she’d tell you - not hide it. She should be embarrassed. There’s too many people in the world - why your ex? That’s a toxic human - not a best friend.
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I think you answered your own question… you now know exactly where you stand in her life, which is fine, now you move forward carefully still being you and not letting her actions change who you truly are, a good honest person. Don’t fall for these shenanigans keep doing you
Not your problem 
That’s not your friend
A best friend would NEVER do that…period!! Maybe she was YOUR best friend but it’s obvious she did not feel the same about you.
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Before you take any measures, just make sure that what was said about her is true.
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#1 Girl code- never date your friends ex 
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Sorry, love. Distance yourself. She isn’t your friend. I have seen a meme that says something like Not everyone that follows you is your fan. This is true. Be careful and let her go, but make sure you let her know why -gracefully.
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She has a long time boyfriend and she’s supposed to be your best friend but she’s cheating on her man and seeing your terrible ex? Let her learn. Just stay away from her and all that nonsense and drama and let her find out on her own. She clearly doesn’t care about anyone else. She’s going to lose her relationship and her best friend by messing with this guy but you know what she’s an adult and she made her bed. If she gets hurt she’s just asking for it. Let her go. No woman who thought of you as their best friend would ever act like this. Unless there was a real love and connection. She sounds petty and young doing this. Maybe she bored in her life. Not your problem. If it bothers you to lose her don’t let it, she obviously doesn’t care if she loses you. She’s changed from the person you knew. That happens. Ppl change as they grow older. You’ll probably stay quiet and let her treat your feelings like trash though. And if you’re the better person I do not doubt you’ll be there for her to help pick up the pieces when her life comes crashing down on her. I know. Yiu can’t help it with certain ppl. Some ppl are just better friends than others. Whatever you do don’t feel bad for it. Dropping her or waiting it out. It’s your call. If you can live with it make whatever choice you feel is the right one. She’ll be hurt over him at some point. Do you wanna be there for her or not is the question.
Oh, yea. Find a new job for your own sanity. Work is not supposed be high school. Change your environment. Maybe this is your queue
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She is not your friend.
I had a best friend for over 40 yrs she passed in June but that’s a line we NEVER crossed and if this girl was a true BEST FRIEND she wouldn’t of crossed that line either if she will stab u in the back once imagine how many time you don’t know about !!!
Isn’t that against girl code or some shit
maan oh man. Yea don’t trust anyone. Crazy the people closest to u, are the ones who can hurt u the worst!
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A true friend wouldn’t do these things behind your back.
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She has a long term boyfriend. Did y’all miss that part? So maybe op is upset because she’s willing throw away her relationship for a dude who only cares about himself and a few nights of fun. I’d be upset too. Knowing everything the dude has done and continues to do, not inviting me but dude while her actual bf is there, just clearly not thinking and being sneaky about it. You don’t sneak behind a friend’s back if you know what you’re doing is not wrong. I would talk to her and ask why she feels the needs to throw everything away for him. If she thinks about it and that’s what she wants than fine. She’s a grown woman. But don’t be sneaky and don’t cheat on your bf. Period.
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Life is hard, maybe he wasn’t decent back then to you and that’s not ok. However, maybe they can have a healthy relationship and be happy, you found your happy, let them try to find theirs…
Some people just have to learn on their own! If you really want to keep her friendship just be there for her when she gets crushed! She knows what he did to you so it’s her choice.
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I’d just stay out of it. She has seen what he has done to you in the past , so she knows what he is capable of. I’d keep her at arms distance away from personal things and just be there for her when she needs you. True she has misled you but if she truly has been there for you in your times of need, then you need to be there for her. True friends are hard to come by. And she is going into this relationship with her eyes wide open. Keep your heart open to her, because it sounds like she is going to need you sooner rather than later. Good luck.
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You aren’t over it. If you were you wouldn’t care. Now your friend is a bad for trying to cheat, but it shouldn’t matter who she dates. This guy isn’t actively causing you harm, you don’t have to Invite him places. Sounds like you have just as much of a problem with making things bout you as he does. All of you sound equally toxic.
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Even though you’ve married and moved on, it’s natural to be concerned for your friend because of what you went through with him; however, just because you tossed your left overs in the trash and she picked them up, doesn’t mean she betrayed you. If you guys went through everything together, then she knows what type of person he is and she still chose to go after him. That says, she either isn’t that smart or she fell for his “poor” me act. Another thing that you have going on is that you haven’t even really talked to her about this; you are basing everything off of a “so-so said you were doing this” … that’s not really fair to do someone you feel is your “soulmate” call them on. If you can’t be honest with your friend, then maybe you need to reevaluate your view on friendship and come to realize that your friendship was never really true to begin with. Other than that let her be an adult and make her own decisions. If she wants to touch a hot stove after she watched you turn it on, then you told her it was hot, and she still wants to feel it for herself, then let her. She’s an adult and she’s not your responsibility, your family is. Your work place seems like drama, I’d be finding me a new company to work for ASAP.
Friends like that …u do t need enemies
I’ve been in a simmular situation, only I was still married to the guy and my best friend was married. I got a divorce, she had a divorce, cut them all out of my life and moved on. Best thing that ever happend to me. So you see, how hard and painfull everything is now, in the end, you will be beter off, because you can’t trust her anymore. Treasure the good and amazing memories en try to forget the rest. I wish you good luck and all the best 
Distance yourself, let the situation and her go then mind your business. It doesn’t involve you. 
Its funny everyone just skips over the “she has a lived in boyfriend and is cheating on him part” to tell this girl to mind her business. If she were asking hey should I tell my BFF boyfriend that’s she’s cheating you all would say yes and to drop the girl as a friend. But if she said should I tell my BFF bf that she’s cheating with my ex you all would say to mind her business grow up you only want to tell her bf because your jealous she’s with your ex. It doesn’t matter what someone says you ppl will always try to twist stuff and make ppl look and feel bad.
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You need to talk to your best friend. Don’t take anyone else’s story to heart until you have talked to her. Someone could easily lie about your best friend. And if she did lie, it may be because she was afraid of your response. Good people do bad things. We literally all make mistakes. Honestly her relationships or lack there of aren’t any of your business and if she didn’t invite you somewhere then she may have done it to protect you from seeing him until she figures out how to confront you. She has gone above and beyond for you is what you are saying, so her relationships shouldbt be a deal breaker. He is your ex for a reason and just because he was like that with you doesn’t mean he is with her. Her cheating is on her to do what she will. You can disagree with all of it and even let her know. But in the end its your choice on weather you stay friends or not. But if my bestie dated my ex or anything I’d be like, I warned you and goodluck. I’ll be here if he hurts you or if he doesn’t.
I’d definitely find a new job and with her knowing what a POS he is and still going after him…let her go to that shit filled pasture. That’s why it’s so green. Distance and then cut all ties. You’ll never trust her again
If you cannot trust her then she is not worthy of being a friend.
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A “true best friend” is going to be loyal! A “true best friend”, if he’s hurt you and broken your heart, is going to wanna run your ex over (((Vroom, Vroom)))… I mean, over time… yes, be civil… but not a friendship with vacations and cookies… WTF?!
Tracy Donnelly Jackson thank goodness I never have to worry 
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I’d tell her to look out for his affairs with other women & get tested for STDs.
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I don’t know really…. But as a best friend to a few women I have not, will not, do not, and can not be friends with their exs- let alone go on a vacation with one.
Man, are you jealous!! Focus on your husband and your marriage.
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Well, our parents always told us to give our unwanted toys to the less fortunate. 
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She is a liar…she lied to you…she is lying to her current boyfriend. I know it hurts and she has been a good friend to you but you cannot trust her. Bow out of the friendship quietly and gracefully.
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You don’t need that kind of energy in your life. She is no friend honey.
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I would just stay out of it and keep her at a distance let her learn herself 
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You will benefit more from gracefully bowing out, just as you mentioned. She knows all the bad stuff about him and it didn’t stop her, don’t waste your breath.
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The loss of a best friend is hard but please break ties and walk away from her. She won’t have an explanation for you. There’s something wrong with her. Therapy is probably your best bet. I’m very sorry. I’ve lost many “best” friends over the years and it’s always been a devastating situation. I didn’t learn the first time so I had to experience that lesson repeatedly. I don’t want that for you.
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I definitely get what you’re going through my best friend of 8 years decided that when me and my baby daddy split she was going to get with him not only was she my best friend she is the mother of my two nephews. All you can do is just distance yourself from all that because there is nothing good to come of it.
If you want a piece of advice stay away from snakes.whats the point of continuing a friendship if you don’t trust her anymore? She is manipulative and a liar. Stay away if you want peace of mind. Usually your BFF is the one who will stab you at the back.
As for the friend be up front and honest and take the time with a cool head tell her you know the truth and how the situation affects you and your feelings, and have the patience to listen to her side of what’s going on. Her actions and her movements and reactions will tell you more. Then you deside if she the kind of person you want in you life as a bestie or a friend or foe. But until you open up to her you will never know.
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I would NEVER loose a good friend, over a man. Let alone an EX. I do not feel POSSESSION over anyone especially from my past. If he is as bad as he sounds via this post then keep the friendship and she will learn her lesson soon. Everyone always wants to pin someone as “bad” or “disloyal” for being with someone they have already been with. But why? What does one gain from being possessive, jealous or envious? One cannot claim “she shouldn’t be talking to him” what if the two of them can actually be good together? If not, she’ll learn. I say keep the friendship, push past it and just know YOUR ROLE with her and stay focused on YOU & YOURS. No need to drag the negativity from the past into your present.
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Meh. I wouldn’t trust her around my current man but honestly your ex is single and can do what he wants and if she is too, then she can do as she wants as well. She’ll learn on her own about your ex since she don’t wanna listen 
live and let live
You have answered your own question in your story.
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You answered yourself
“I don’t trust her”
That’s it. It’s over.
Be grateful for the time you had and move on. 
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I wouldn’t want a friend who would cheat with anyone, much less my ex. I’d just distance myself and leave it at that.
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You answered your own question…you don’t trust her, you need to keep moving forward and completely move on away from her. No Trust, No relationship/friendship. How can you think she wouldn’t come between you and your new husband?? Her going above and beyond, was a front, definitely NOT for friendship reasons, obviously!! Sorry you are broken hearted, but, it’s best to boot her out!!
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I wouldn’t trust her either. If she’s so excepting of your ex and being with him… who says when she’s over it she won’t move on to
Your current husband. That’s just a no for me. I agree with above that you will benefit from gracefully bowing out as you are doing.
Best friend losses hurt worse than significant other losses. She has shown her true colors as you said and that breaks your heart. You expected more from her and that’s where you made your mistake. Not everyone has the same heart as you, love. Move on and upward without any of them.
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I really feel like if you broke up with him 4 years ago, that’s plenty of time to be over that relationship and let him move on. Even if he gets with your bestie.
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Well…uh… If she’s so important to you and you trust her so much… Went not just invite her for drinks she have a Convo with her? For one thing… Whomever told you this might just be a $*it talking whore who likes to stir things up. Secondly… it’s been 8 years…um… Any place you held is open to others… However many he can manage. That’s on him. And finally… I’m sending grandiosity and victimization. Two pretty big players in narcissistic personality disorder. But you say he’s the narcissist?
Sounds like he got into her head. Definitely distance yourself, but maybe just make if known you’ll be there when the going gets tough. I feel bad for her because I feel like he probably did this literally because she’s your best friend and he could ‘take her’ from you.
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Yes distance your self, but the other women in his life will never listen to you, I tried myself to tell a few. But you have to ask your self has see ever done this before and I understand you are no longer interested in him, but for her to do this to you is bad. Watch your self. I would make it plain and clear to her that you know and that you do not want to discuss him and her. She will have to learn for her self.
A true friend would not do that…you need not only distance yourself from her ,but let her go all together…you can’t trust her…
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If you’re not with him and your friend knows all the issues that occued in the relationship then let her be…she knows what she’s getting herself into #notyourproblem
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Sadly your friendship is over, …you said it yourself , trust is no longer there. THE END.
It doesn’t sound good. She is hiding it from you because she knows it is wrong. Tell her boyfriend. Try and get prof and send it to him. Then I would consider distancing yourself from her. She sounds very selfish. And believe me karma will come a knocking
Now, there’s a classic two faced biach
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Not your circus not your 
monkey
It’s your so call friends lessons to learn, especially knowing your prior relationship history.
She has should you who she is LET HER GO. Focus and enjoy your life with your husband
WOW, She is an adult, she knows what you went through. If she likes him, there is nothing you can do about it. That is her choice, not yours. Then add, it really isn’t your problem if she wants him!! But be there for her, because it sounds like she will be needed you.
She never was a friend
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She broke the friend code. You don’t date your friends exs no matter how long its been.
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You cannot have a relationship with trust
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She’s just as bad and should no longer have access to your life.
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She was never your best friend then. My BF would NEVER betray me like that.
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She isn’t a BF if she’s shown her true colors now, you as her BF shoukd have known her true color long ago & vice versa! Its time to move on forward away from this so called BF. She doesn’t have your best interest nor your families in mind.
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She was never your friend. If you already know the truth, just go no contact and only communicate if it’s about your job. You don’t need people like that in your life.
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Be done! She isn’t and never was a friend!
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I honestly wouldn’t worry about it. You say he’s bad cuz he’s dating 2 people right now. But she’s also got a bf and is still trying to be involved with your ex. Neither sound like good people. I’d just leave them both be and let them do whatever they want to.
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Just make sure what you have been told is the truth.
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Forget the bro-code violation, she was there with you through the whole thing and is more than aware of his psychology but still is willing to get in harms way, just tell her you appreciate her being there for you when it imploded but you cant get in line to return the favor for her when he crushes her because you still have shitshow on your shoes
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she’s not ir friend clearly she wants ur ex and she is willing to lie to you so hiw can u even regard her a s a friend anymore she wants him so let her esp if u happily married now so it doesn’t matter they are toxic abd she will do anything to have him coz she lied to u and betrayed you
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Sometimes you have to give your toys to the less fortunate
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Ex aside. She is lying to you. It is interfering in your life now because other people are coming to you with her shadiness. You don’t have to have feelings for the guy. But you have feelings for your friend and she is being dishonest towards you. Regardless what it’s about. That would make me think she was rooting for you to fail just because she had some interest in him. Even if she didn’t act on it for years. I wouldn’t make a stink. But I would definetly start holding the woman you thought was your rock at arms length for sure. Worry about you and your heart first. If people come to you about it just say it’s not my place. None of my business. But. I would stop considering her your best friend if she is doing this. It’s the lying and manipulation that’s worrisome. Maybe they’re good for each other. Maybe they’re not. But she’s not a good friend for lying and hiding and CHEATING. if my friend was cheating I would be throwing a BUNCH of shade her way.
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I would just let it go. She will find out what he’s like for herself. Besides you can’t be in control of what they do. Just get on with your own life.
I would Talk to her first and not rely on second hand reports It could be that what you were told is not true ut talk to your friend not accusingly but friend to friend then decide whether to trust her or tell her that you can no longer be thier friend
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Just leave her alone. She knows what you went thru and still wants this guy, then you are better off. Walk away from all this toxicity and just concentrate on how to keep yr husband and yrself happy.
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Yall broke up 4 years ago and you are married. Who cares what they do. Just don’t ho around her when she’s with him and tell her you don’t want to hear about him especially later after he does something shitty.
He’s probably with her trying to kno every detail about you or to try & be close to you…
& she’s probably to naive to even see it🤧
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Friends don’t date your ex’s! Girlfriend rule
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Move on let her make her mistakes she is not someone you need to call friend in your life
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First of all you already lost your best friend
Secondly you obviously DO care about your ex or you wouldn’t be dwelling on all of this
Thirdly there is no mention of a child or children so why is this even here?
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She is not being a good “ best friend” at all, in all honesty if she really cared for your friendship she wouldn’t of been talking to your ex, she would of been committed to both you and her own relationship that’s also showing a lack of loyalty on her end that she has none. I understand she’s your best friend I have my own and your married now which means your doing well for yourself now… throw the trash away including that so called friend of yours, if she can’t be loyal to you you deserve so much better in a friendship! distance yourself from her as she is toxic. She’s shown you her true colours don’t be fooled just because she has been nice to you and your family… the truth hurts but lies are really shitty to keep from people you supposedly care about.
I mean her inviting him doesn’t mean you need to be invited. Plus you said it was 4 years ago y’all broke up and that your married now. I don’t see a problem with her talking to him or anything besides her having a boyfriend. She will learn she lied cause she knew you would act up over it. She probably thinks that you still got a thing for him since it would be such an issue. I don’t see why people think that since they dated somebody they should be “off limits” to people forever cause of it 
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Definitely distance yourself!! You will probably find a better friend then her that won’t even think twice about having your past around her… Goodluck! I’d rather not have friends or close family koz this type of disappointment does my head in… hope all goes well
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Obviously you haven’t moved on if you’re still concerned about anything that goes on in your exes life. It’s not your circus anymore
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You are married! Why are you bothered about him still?
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I’m just going to say this, if someone hurts my friend they hurt me! I would never befriend or hang out with anyone who hurt my friend & I expect the same from a true friend.
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Firstly, that is not a friend you can trust even with your own husband… cut her off… This is for your peace and marriage
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You’ve answered your own question in this. You already know what to do.
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So glad you found out who she really is. The the door open for her to leave.
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Maybe she’s been after him this whole time?
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Friends don’t do that shit to friends!! Look at it this way she did you two favors: Showed her true colors and now he (the ex) is her problem not yours.
Run. Regardless if you are married or not she lied to you. If she is lying about this, what else is she lying about or doing behind your back. Been there. My ex husband is still married to my ex best friend. They deserve each other:joy: It took me 14 years after I found out about the affair, but I found my one true love in life and am thankful for the wonderful life I have now.
go with your gut, it’s never wrong.
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