Ummm you could try getting a job. That usually helps. Smh
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Take his $1,000 and leave.
It wont get better. Everytime u mention money now its will come back to this.
Trust me I know. Mine did with $7,000.
Yet he bought a new vehicle, new tires, tint, light bars, etc. New tv and lots of other crap
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This doesn’t make any sense.
40k would take us out of debt and get us a downpayment on a house.
DUIS aren’t that pricey. And you shouldn’t be that behind in rent etc considering the 40k wasn’t expected money.
Sounds like one of you is blowing money and not being honest. Frankly sounds like you both need to grow up a little and not treat money like your enemy.
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Who has an actual job here…???
My situation, I make more than my husband while sitting at home working dispatch for a company… while he is working a 50+ hour job per week as a police officer.
We both work, and still struggle a little.
Please God if neither of yall have a job… get one 
inheritance isn’t living life. I make around 40,000 alone in a year, we have 3 kids that are still living with us. We live comfortably but not luxurious.
We need more info here before we give ANY advice.
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Lol and some ppl live off waaaaayyy less than that a year! Living beyond your means this is always going to happen. Yes you’ve paid bills out of it and whatnot but if you didn’t get that inheritance what would of been done?
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$40,000 is a lot of money… And it does seem that it was wasted.
I would’ve never blown through tht I would have paid what was due and rest would be necessities and then rest savings
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40k is ALOT of money and could last a good while… I have 5 kids and even between my husband myself and the kids that would last us a good while… seems like y’all need to prioritize better… and if he was given that money then that money is his and if he chose to help with your bills that is great… yes kids are also his responsibility but not just his… I wouldn’t be asking my husband to pay for MY bills I would be finding a way to be independent and pay for my own bills(a job) I mean what would you have done if he didn’t get that money… 
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40k how long did it take to go through that ? 
Obviously neither one of you have a job! And 40k is not much for an atty or dr but that’s a YEAR’s salary for many and they are up to date in rent, bills etc 
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For all those saying DUIs aren’t expensive I had a friend that had two. Each one ended costing her $10,000 of she wanted to keep her license she did not. Now, $40,000 can go a long way if you aren’t living on it. Hell, many people live on $40,000 a year. My question here is why are neither of you working? Obviously he isn’t responsible if he had two DUIs. Now, that says a lot about you. You stayed with him. You knew he was irresponsible. Which means you probably aren’t very responsible. You can’t live off $40,000 the rest of your lives. It wasn’t retirement money, but should have been looked as extra mo ey to catch up bills, a down payment on a house etc. If you want relationship advice, here’s mine: leave. Because he’s irresponsible, because he wants to blame you for his problems and the two of you aren’t functioning as a team.
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Real advice- NEVER put yourself in a position where you can not take care of yourself without dependency of someone else.
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I feel like 40k would last me a while even having 5 kids but you just gotta be smart with it. I’d get a job and either leave or keep your finances separate
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Sounds like u both wasted the money if ur both not working get jobs and if that unhappy split up
If he doesn’t want to help show him the door
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sounds like you guys wasted it…40 grand can go a long way.People live on less .
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Immaturity at its finest. All the way around. You sound like a child.
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Write everything down for him and tell him to grow the fk up
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That money was left for HIM not YOU so yeah YOU should feel bad bills or not!
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Yeah 40,000 is quite a lot. That would last me a while. Why didn’t talk pay some of your bills up? Seems like y’all weren’t that responsible if it’s already gone.
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Hydro does tend to dwindle the funds quickly
Y’all arent even married. So… You aren’t entitled to it. Do either of you have jobs? Because sounds like both of y’all need one.
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I would get a job and stop drinking
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My SO opened another account and wants me to pay 1/2 the bills. He gets $1100 I get $625.
Get a job and support yourself. Sounds too stressful and he sounds selfish
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Should have invested instead of going crazy. Oh well, take it as a lesson learned, get a job and start a savings.You both need to work together now just like you worked together to go broke…
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Don’t ask for money, get a job, move out and take care of your kids and bills and leave it at that. No use fighting over things like this. Yes he has kids BUT inheritance was left to him, if blown through then it is gone and jobs are needed for more stability and reliable income. Regardless of who spent what there are still children in the equation that need taken care of first and foremost.
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To many variables to comment really.
How long did it take to “blow”
Can you clearly see where it went?
Does anyone actually work?
Hopefully he doesn’t DUI again - seriously that kills people
Did he happily give you access to the money?
Sounds toxic all round.
40k for 5 people no jobs won’t last long
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How was he supporting his kids prior to this. If he’s spent all of it on living, what he doing prior?
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Yall some toxic people in this comment thread lmfao. Idk bout yall but i been in my relationship for almost 4 years. Nd every since a few months in it HE put me on his bank account so i can have access to his money. ( now so deep in the relationship its OUR money) and yes ive had jobs through out the years and it was still OUR money. Now im a stay at home mom . I pay 3 of the bills we have. I have to go grocery shopping. Anytime i buy something unneeded i always run it past him. Sometimes i get bitched at for asking sometimes i get bitched at for spending. But i look at it this way. I have a full time job. Period. We manage our money pretty well. We have roughly 3000 in bils every month. Just between our child support thats almost 1000 a month. He pays 600 a month for his one kid. I say yall need to manage your money better. If babe and i had that wed be spending wisely.
Use your own money to pay your own bills. Ask for help with shared bills. If the inheritance is running out both need to find jobs.
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Your boyfriend is an alcoholic who doesn’t make enough money nor does he know how to manage money. Better get your act together and figure out a way to support yourself and all those kids.
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So, I basically had a similar situation. I inherited $36,000 after my mom passed. It does go by quick IF you’re either blowing it on dumb shit or paying off everything you owe. Mine went QUICK. & yeah, I got a little pissed at my fiancé for spending a good bit of it. But, I also allowed him to at the time. If y’all would’ve spent it correctly, you wouldn’t still be worried about bills.
I bought a car, paid off all our bills plus paid some months in advance, got everything we needed, spoiled my kids & ourselves a little & even donated a lot to families who were struggling. Y’all just need to learn to budget. I spent that money back in June & we’re just now going back to needing things & fully paying bills again.
Butttttt, to be 100% honest. Y’all are literally just dating. You ain’t entitled to that money WHAT SO EVER. Y’all sound super childish.
I think you both are irresponsible with money… damn
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Girl, you’re greedy. Bye!
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Tell him To give up that $1000 and then save your money and leave that joker! I swear ex did that! I stopped stressing and showed him every dime
So your Boyfriend (Keyword is Boyfriend) Inherited Money and you think you’re Entitled to any of it? Yea that would be nice if he shared a little but did you even talk about it with him? Did he say he wanted to share/split it with you? When I was 18, I Inherited a little over $18,000 and my Boyfriend Thought he was Entitled to the Majority of it and that Pissed me off so Bad.
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Leave he is obviously used you for money
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He needs to stay off the road when drinking. It’s kills people, my brother never learned that simple lesson and he has been dead 15 yrs from Drinking and driving. And its difficult to get to work with no license. Lots of jobs require a good driving record. He needs to grow up, with 3 children, geez man up and go to work.
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Wo thats doesnt seem fair , you would get more as a single🤔 MUM …some boyfriend doesnt share .
Im just mind blown if yall got 3 kids and hes still playing the its my money bs then roll out move on im on baby number 3 with my man i stay home he works and its never his money lol its ours its our kids its our bill money once u got a family its never about just u anymore u gotta be a team and everything is for the team i cook and clean and raise our kids bc thats important and he works and pays bill bc thats important if he stops working and paying bills i wouldnt have a house to clean or food to cook if i stop cooking and cleaning doing laundry he wouldnt be able to go to qork in clean clothes or have lunch and a hot dinner every night its team work and if its not find a new team mate cus there are aome good onea out there
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40,000 is a lot of money to go through. How long did it take to blow through it? Paying off the lawyers and duis probably took a nice chunk. But then I would of saved the rest and used your normal paychecks to pay the bills. Like what money were you both using to pay things before HE inherited that money?
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… y’all just up and quit your jobs once you got that shit huh lmfaooo
Sounds like you need to get your sh together.
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Use the remaining $1,000 to start your kids therapy. They’re gonna need it.
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You spent inheritance money on daily living? 40,000 Dollars? No investment? Let me wash my hands, sanitize and mind my own business:tired_face:
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You do realise that money is his and not yours, right?? He doesn’t have to share HIS money with you.
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40,000 should of paid both your Bill’s off? If you were that far in dept then you guys have problems…
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You blew 40k on daily living that’s insane.How do you usually pay bills when you haven’t got an inheritance.I would have invested it or put in a savings acct.The bills and day to day living is the responsibility of both of you and if he doesn’t like that then pack up the kids and leave
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Do you both work for a living?
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My friend just won $75,000 and is still working full time. Maybe you both should do the same.
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In the kindest way possible, I’d get my shit together. You sound VERY immature. ‘Our’ money, ‘his’ stuff??? You both need to have jobs, you both need to pay bills. You have children, get your act together.
Leave. He’s a cheap sake.
In all fairness, DUI charges are insanely expensive. It’s not just the lawyers - the fines, the interlock systems, the SR insurance…I went through it with my ex and yeah, depending where you offended, 40 is chump change on those charges.
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Blow it all … u only live once !
Go on vacation , buy something nice for ur home.
40,000 is not worth fighting over for real
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You spent 40,000.00 either single handedly or together, first of all its his money here, he should of paid the DUI S off he did them his mistake his problem . The other bills are you working help him pay for those bills he nor you should have to do that solely and as far as that 1000 sounds to me like your going through his money like water and talking about leaving your blowing all his money putting yours back after the bills are paid off then your running sounds like to me . If thats the case even though it’s for bills as you say your a gold digger or you would not of known how much money he had left . He’s got a 1000.00 left and you expect him to give that up as well how wrong of you give up your money he’s given up alot not only for his self but for his house hold you and you want more ungrateful people greedy gold digging people . I’m with someone have been for 26 years I went through 75,000.00 in 1 day 1 day I have something to show for it I bought a house and you blew 40,.000.00 and want more guess what lady those bills are gonna keep piling in . Help him pay someone those bills if you don’t have a job get our and get 1 to help it takes more than 1 income anymore to survive it would be way different if he wasn’t takeing care of his house hold period but sounds to me he’s doing way more than his share
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What part of the money did you spend? What did YOU spend it on? Was it frivolous? Seemed like he spent it on getting his business taken care of. Maybe he feels you didn’t handle the leftover money responsibly
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Many of you missed that they had to pay his dad’s bills. 40k isn’t much after lawyers, medical bills, funeral expenses (?), and any debt his father had. It’s unclear whether either of them work, since the author was focusing on how her bf has handled the situation emotionally.
Focusing on what we do know:
- BF has two DUIs
- They live together, so they need to budget together
- They have 3 kids
- He’s blaming her for struggling
If he has two DUIs, he’s lucky to be alive and not in prison. And they’re both lucky he hasn’t harmed the children. I was hit by a drunk driver; I have six screws in my neck now and live with a slew of physical limitations. My advice?
-
Go to Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics). There are tons of in-person and virtual meetings.
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Depending on their ages, send the kids to Al-Ateen.
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Chemical dependency counseling for all.
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People SHE DIDNT spend it ALL on daily living expenses. If YOU read it correctly she spent it on HIS 2 DUI’s NOT JUST ONE BUT 2. THIS IS TO KEEP HIS ASS OUT OF JAIL! Maybe she should have taken half and ran with the kids if he’s that bad. The lawyer for each of those cases is well over $5,000.00 then court cost, fines etc… get a job and take care of your own and let him take care of himself, he will see how far $1,000.00 takes him a daily living expenses.
He doesn’t sound like he loves you good and skimping out on yourself is the repercussion of staying with him
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Just ignore all of the negative comments
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I would get rid of him. He is selfish and doesn’t sound like he can be trusted
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How did you guys pay your bills before the inheritance? You can’t survive without working so I’m assuming you both work? If not then that’s the problem. $40,000 is nothing, most people make way, way more than that in one year. He needs to stop being so selfish, but you both need a job if you aren’t working!!
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That’s not your money.
You’re not married.
Get a damn job and leave. He sounds like a giant loser.
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There isnt enough information to say anything really
…
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Not judging anybody but why does this generation just give up on the person they say they love? Every relationship is going to have their own problems but you shouldn’t want to give up so easily especially if it’s about money. Hope yall can work it out and wish yall the best in life
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Let him go without the comforts he refuses to help pay for (even if you and the kids have to forgo the luxuries like cells, satellite, internet, fast food, even the good TP🤣 for a time) He’ll be pulling out them hundreds real quick😉
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He’s gaslighting you so you won’t ask him for his money. You spend all yours on the household & he gets to keep his. I’ve been there a few times. You need to run. If you don’t he’ll drain you of all your money & leave you with nothing.
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Why did you need lawyers? Was it for the DUIs? Complete waste of money. You should’ve let him go to jail for the DUIs and then you’d have had all the money for yourself. 
. Now you gotta get a job you poor thing.
What did we learn?
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Lay out all the receipts and show where the money went
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$40,000 is a lot when you invest it honey. Y’all screwed up a potential safety net, men get funky when they feel broke plus now you don’t want to pay bills after you helped him spend that money AND YOU WANT TO LEAVE HIM!!. He’s going to be real pissed. y’all two better get a job.
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Leave and run far far away . Start saving ever penny you can right now and leave him !!!
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If money is most important let him have his fucking money u go find happiness
I would get a job 
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Need more info… how were bills paid before the inheritance?
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Get a job.
You should have already left with him being an alcoholic. He’s gonna kill some one one day drinking and driving. If you drink like him too, get some help now and stop.
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Should invest money to help save money. Could have moved somewhere cheaper got debts out the way etc
Wow If you all have nothing to show for all that money you both need a kick in the rear.
Yes 40000 is a lot !
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I mean…you could both get jobs.
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Unfortunately in today’s world $40,000 doesn’t go far, especially if you’re like a lot of us and you’re just getting by. Things tend to get paid by priority and our “wish list” gets longer. Legal expenses don’t help. Do an accounting by writing down all the stuff the money went towards. It doesn’t have to be to the penny so don’t worry about the small stuff. Retainer fees and fines are costly and ad up fast. Maybe if he sees it on paper where the bulk of it went he will understand that you both spent the money and where it went. Good luck!!
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The fuck? Don’t y’all work tho? Get some jobs… should have invested that money.
Um $40,000 is alot of money 
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Everybody keeps saying get a job. She stated she has 3 kids. Do you know how much daycare is? If she can’t afford the bills, doubt she can afford daycare. If he’s the father, he needs to step up and help figure it out and stop with the blame game. It doesn’t matter if they’re married or not, they have children to think about.
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Stop making dumb decisions and go get a job if you need money!
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I was in the same way…I opened up my own bank account …put money in it weekly …when I had enough to start over… without him knowing I kicked him out…now he’s living on the his own in run down apt house and has lost all contact with hus kids
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40,000 is a lot if invested and used well. And only used as cushion.
That 40,000 should have only been used if need at the money y’all made working didn’t cover.
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What would I do??? Get jobs?
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Hmmm … did the will say left to you and him or just him. Because as far as I’m concerned that is his inheritance not yours. I’m sure his father wanted him to do with it as he wished. Not to pay bills, which I’m sure before inheritance were being paid! And the way you say I know he has 1000 in 100 bills in his pocket - makes it seem like you are money hungry.
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Anyone else curious on how long ago the 40,000 was inherited?
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40000 is alot of money and it was his inheritance whether u guys are together or not. He had 2 duis it was his money to spend to take care of his duis. For u to get upset tht he is upset that his money is almost gone and then for u to say u know he had a thousand in 100s hid uh ok for 1 its not right to snoop even if he is ur bf. Idk what is up with people now a days whats his is his ehats uta is urs
Ig u arent married then there is no 50/50 shit.
Honestly you sound very entitled. How did you both manage to pay bills before the inheritance? If $40,000 is not a lot then you both must’ve been very well off before the inheritance. I was a single mom of 4 for 6 years. No child support for a large portion of that time. I had little to no help most of that time. I worked 3 jobs and 80 hours a week when needed during that time. No one else was going to pay my bills. Not even my boyfriend when or if I had one. Bottom line is you pull up your big girl panties and you do what you need to do to make shit happen.
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40 k is a lot of money. Should have bought a house. When was the last time bills were paid that they were so high?
Does anyone work to pay these bills?
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She can work in daycare and get free daycare. My friend does and is single mom.
Oh lord some of these are just crap human beings commenting. We don’t know that she doesn’t have a job! And taking care of 3 kids is a frigging job!!! 40k isn’t crap and are yall insane he got 2 frigging dui’s!!! Lawyers fees likely ate more than half of that. Don’t you dare make a mother taking care of her kids feel bad over paying bills. Some of yall should be ashamed of the crap that comes out of your mouths.
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I have been with my boyfriend 7 years & we have a child. If he received an inheritance it would definitely be ours like all of our money is. Also DUIs & lawyer fees probably cost a good portion of that. Your first one can cost 10 grand but it depends on the state & severity of charges. It can be up to 30,000 so yeah most of that money went to him. Also raising 3 kids isn’t cheap. $40,000 may be a lot to some people but it depends on your living situation. Either way if that was my man I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life with someone that doesn’t consider everything in a relationship to be “ours” not his & hers.
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Has the drinking stopped? 2 DUI’s is not a good thing
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2 DUI’s
YALL better grow up !
Does he work. How much does he make. Has he paid the bills before the inherit money. Sounds like bigger issues. 2 dui. He may have bigger problem and can’t afford the bills. Bobs r every where and so is daycare and help with daycare. Take ur life back and go get ur kids a better life.
I could change my life with 40,000. 
It is a lot of money and it seems you both blew through it. No need to place the blame on either end, really.
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If ur AFRAID to ask for money…. U might want to consider getting out.