How fragile is his masculinity? Its almost 2022, if he can’t be happy that you can make enough that he gets to stay home, if he WANTS to, then thats on him.
2 Likes
I have a 1.5 and three year old. My husband does concrete so is home 6months out of the year with the boys. It’s an adjustment at first, but they love it. On my days off I just make a point to let him go and have time to his self.
Most important is remember how hard it is to be a stay at home parent. And don’t expect the house to be cleaned 
3 Likes
My husband is a workaholic. But he stayed home so I could go to work to put all the kids in childcare. Getting childcare hasn’t been easy and my husband is going stir crazy. He has never been someone to stay home all day. It’s causing some issues in our relationship too. I suggest trying to get childcare first if you can.
1 Like
So for the last several years I have been the one to work and we have a 3-year-old a 4 year old and an 11 year old and he has stayed home since the youngest one was born and my last two are 12 months and one day apart… He was in the military and got injured and so when he got out of the military we decided for him to stay home instead of paying child care costs… He does absolutely everything from sweeping and mopping every single day to vacuuming the house to taking care of the children which isn’t just putting them in the TV they go to at least one Park a day and they do learning activities we also have dogs and cats he takes the dogs out he also does the cat litter he feeds all the animals he does all the dishes he takes the trash out he makes the beds he literally does everything he does the laundry and has my clothes laid out in the bathroom for when I get off of work I cook dinner but he still does the dishes afterwards and that’s strictly because I like to cook dinner it has absolutely worked for our family and our dynamic it truly just depends on how it works out but we have been together for 16 years and we absolutely love it he is getting anxious and excited to do at least something part time when the younger one start school next year but it’s been amazing for both of us because I can go to work with a clear head and not have to worry about anything going on at home and everything gets done it’s absolutely been amazing for us
My husband has been home for the past 4 months and him and the kids love it. They get more time with dad and they have changed so much since he’s been home.
If you’re husband does everything you do with the kids and house hold chores then it shouldn’t be a issue.
1 Like
He should probably still work but maybe less…
My husband stays home. He still feels like a man because he’s still in charge of making sure everything gets paid and I never throw it in his face that I work all day. He still makes major decisions and I help him where I can so he’s not overwhelmed.
1 Like
It’ll work if he wants it to work but as you know I’m sure from being a SAHM he will need some alone time/time for himself too
1 Like
Well I was in that situation but my daughter was autistic
My husband had to quit his job of 12 years just to be a stay at home dad
Until 2015 then my daughter’s behavior got worse so she had to go in a home
But yeah I worked 2 years while he stayed at home
He won’t be ‘Mr mom’ he will be dad.
Why is it expected for moms to stay home and then everyone panics when a dad has too?
If you are that worried maybe print out a guideline/agenda of what you do in a day.
2 Likes
My husband started a business from home because we just could not afford daycare for 2 young children any longer. It was an adjustment for us both, but my husband did an excellent job with out little ones. The hardest part was that I had to learn to step away and let him do things his way, it’s not fair to hover and tell him how I did it instead. I would try to help by prepping a basket of clothes for each kid for that week, or setting up activities for him to do with our kids. Give him time and room to adjust and create his own routine, and support him, and it will be great 
5 Likes
I think he should work also is he staying home just to take care of one kid?
1 Like
You could both work and your children could go to daycare or be looked after by other family members.
Why not both bring in an income? Hubby and I both work and we have a 10, 9, 7 and 4 year old. We utilise family and before and after school care / vacation care options for our children.
Depending on the man. Mine was fantastic
I work full time (and then some) in parts at a John Deere dealership. We have about 100 head of cattle, chickens, pigs, a horse and dogs and cats of course. 4 kids, 3 in school and hubby is home full time with them and the farm. We’ve made it work, it had its ups and downs. He’s been ridiculed by family and peers, but f*** them. If he can, he starts supper, washes eggs, does dishes, helps kids with homework. Hey, all that comes with the territory of being the one at home. We do what we have to do. I’ve been at my job for 13 years (minus a couple). Good luck! It really does depend on the individuals I think.
What about day care and him go part time?
I’m friends with a couple who are like that ever since they had children.
They are very happy.
Is childcare an option at all?
& you should share exactly what you posted with him as these are valid feelings and concerns
My husband and I both work full time but work opposite schedules I work Monday - Thursday and he works Friday- Sunday
So someone is always home with the three kids
1 Like
If your getting a better paying job and he works too, why not put them in daycare? They well learn a lot. Have other kids to play with. Learn to socialize. Make friends.
4 Likes
I read like three comments and everyone is pushing for both to work. But here is my experience. Since LO was born (1st child) Dad had been stay at home parent and we tried the whole both working thing and to be honest I think we were both so angry all the time for whatever reason (stress & tiredness) ! He stayed home because financially I could support both versus him working minimum paying job as he did before the kids. We even tried working opposite shifts and that was worse… Might I add day care was gonna be 2-4 hundred a week. He didn’t resent me but at times he did need an out whether we went out together or just him and some friends. He has been judged and called lazy and people feel he doesn’t understand because he has ‘never had to worry’ about needing to work. It comes with the territory when the man stays home but fuck them. Who cares! Your family is taken care of, and being a full time stay at home parent is a job in its own way. Good Luck Mama!
Give him a chance
Stop thinking to much about it
3 Likes
I was a stay at home mom for years. Now that I’ve graduated and finally able to pursue my dreams my husband is a stay at home dad. It was so hard for mw to transition because i was so used to handling everything in the household for years.
What I can say is a challenge is trusting your husband to handle things like you did. It will be a learning curve for you both. It will take time for him to figure out how things work for him. And the way you did things may not be the way he does things and that’s OK.
You’ll need to trust him. That’s what my husband asks of me. Because I’ll come home from a 12 hour shift at the hospital and ask if the kids homework is done, did they get their medicine, and so on. It was hard for me to just trust that he got everything done and be OK with it. He will need that from you. And you will need that for your own sanity.
You two are partners, equals. You’ll need to treat each other as such. Communicate and be on the same page with who is handling what and just trust that they are.
My husband has been a stay at home dad for pver a year now. He handles taking the kids to school and picking them up, he handles the shopping, laundry, cooking dinner, homework, Dr appointments, sports, and literally anything else.
4 Likes
Have you talked it over with him??? How does he feel about it? He is the one you should be talking to.
3 Likes
Mine is a stay at home dad to one year old twins and things have been better than when I was staying home
1 Like
If you believe that he thinks being a stay at home dad is pathetic or unmanly or whatever…then you already know what he currently thinks about you.
1 Like
Some men have an issue w this. Some don’t. He won’t really know until he tries it.i know my husband couldn’t do it . Other do it tho and love it. Just be aware there will be jokes ppl will say to him and mess w him ab it. It really depends on the man how he will handle it. My friend is the breadwinner and the jokes are constant w her husband. He handles it well tho normally fires back w another joke. It might cause staring on ur marriage. Everything is a possibility. Her husband had an affair bc he felt “less of a man .” Lmao . No u less of a man bc u cheated ,which makes him the weak one. He didn’t like that comment for sure 
there’s always the option of both of u working and using daycare or preschool. U won’t know until u try. The way he feels ab it now is probably how he is going to feel. U must at least know how he reacted when u told him. Think ab that. The first reaction is always the real one.
I would never leave kids, have you thought about the adjustment they would be having to go through but I’ve also never struggled financially.
The best advice I can give is dont dictate to him “how” he should be doing things because that’s how you always did it! Dont try to micromanage running the house when you’re not there. Imagine he came home from work and asked you if u managed to hoover today? Or asked you if you remembered to get the kids to their appointment? You’d probably kick him for being so patronising! It works the other way way too, when u hand over the reins! He needs to find out what works and what doesn’t in his own way, his routine with the kids might be different from yours but as long as needs are met, the kids are clean, fed and happy and normal life carries on let him get on with it. It will take time while he learns and lots will get missed out at first but just remembered you’ve done that job for years and learnt along the way… he has to make a massive lifestyle change and hit the ground running with it all to keep up. 
6 Likes
Men are not inherently less nurturing than women. Fathers are just as capable as mothers of being a wonderful stay at home parent if they commit to doing it well.
2 Likes
This all depends on how he feels about this. Does he want to be a SAHD? If he doesn’t, it’s not going to work out well. If he does want to, it will work out fine. Personally, I’d hire someone to take care of the kids or put them in daycare, but that’s me. You do whatever works best for your family.
1 Like
Talk, put expectations in writing. Safe time for downtime for both parties
I met a dad. Who did this. He went to school, mom. Worked. They had great balance. Keep talking and be flexible and open to change.
Remember nothing will be perfect or done to your standards. Better or worse
Why can’t y’all both work
2 Likes
Just depends on him. Some men can’t handle their spouse making more.
Make a list of ALL YOU DO DAILY. See if he can hack it. You could meditate it with someone
My husband and I rotate the breadwinner position,2 years on, 2 years off.
We both figured out our groove,and it works well for us.
Don’t expect him to run the home the same as you.
1 Like
Maybe you both could work 
1 Like
We did it for a few years. I think he understood how lucky he was, but there was some bitterness.
No way my husband could handle it lol… but no harm in trying and he could always go to work as well if daycare is an option for you.
My husband hated it. He didn’t resent anyone, he just felt unfulfilled. It’s all about the individual, just like women. Talk to him and ask him how it would make him feel.
My hubby is now the stay at home parent and I went back.to work 6 weeks ago after being a stay at home parent for 8 years
He has his way of looking after our home n children & I still help around the house & spend time with our kids
Definitely ok for dad’s to be
“Stay at home dads”
The same way a woman can take on the role of sole bread earner
My partner used to be the breadwinner and I worked part time until he got ill 3yrs ago and the tables completely turned and I had to become the breadwinner and honestly unless you have too, I don’t recommend it! He’s taken it hard and it’s been life changing for us! I miss so much I have mum guilt every day and my partner has gone through all sorts of emotions. Money isn’t worth it but health is!
Maybe he can take vacay from work for a week and see if he can handle it. Some people can’t stand staying home isolated with little people all day everyday.
Why don’t you both work?
1 Like
As long as you know he has your kids best interest in mind always. I know my husband would be perfectly capable of doing it. But like I read in the comments, he will run the house as he chooses so you have to expect that. It never hurts to take the chance!
You both could work and invest. Buy a house, family vacation, life insurance for your family, pay toward a retirement plan, savings for the kids for when they are old enough they will have something saved up to start them off for college/cars/apartment/etc.
And it’s not only about your husband but also think will YOU be okay with that responsibility to literally paying everything because now there will only have one income…your income. It’s really something to think about and discuss with your husband. Good luck!!!
1 Like
It honestly depends on the man. My husband personally tried it for 2 months and it sucked on my end. He’s not the best cook 
so that wasnt great then certain stuff that needed to be done didn’t get done unless I left him a list like I would do for a kid but now it’s back to normal and it’s great
1 Like
Why does he have to stop working .can’t you find a family /good friend that could use a couple of extra bucks
This is me and my husband, it’s hard for me. He doesn’t clean to my standards etc… or cook healthy as I would. But the kids are happy and alive, so iv slowly learned to let my standards low.
6 Likes
Yes it can my husband is a stay at home dad and it works great for us
1 Like
If it’s a issue, can he still work while you’re working?
3 Likes
My husband choose it. If he was forced, he would be an absolute a-hole.
Honestly if you have a chance to make money like that, take it. But he should be working too, even if it’s part time. That way you have another source of income besides your own and your paycheck wont be blown on bills & necessities as soon as it comes in. You’ll both benefit from that.
6 Likes
I am the main provider in my household. A little different dynamic for us, as he does work full time so we both do household duties (he just does more than I do because I work full time and then some), but as far as being bitter, he has never been bitter about it towards me. He has always been appreciative of what I bring to the table.
I would think that your husband would appreciate the situation if it’s financially what is best for your family.
However, don’t let him go in to this decision without him fully understanding how absolutely hard it is to be the stay at home parent. School, sports, household chores, meals, etc.
Its so hard and he really needs to fully understand that before agreeing to this change.
1 Like
I honestly dont believe in a stay at home dad! No way you grow that baby give birth have the stretch marks and scars the sore boobs and everything esle not saying a woman should not work I’m a workaholic but fits round my life.i really cant be doing with “newage househusbands”
Get a Job a some child care even just for the principal
1 Like
My husband has a totally new appreciation for how hard the stay at home parent works. He finally got to see what I did for 6 years to keep the house running. He told me the other day he could not believe that stay at home moms everywhere didn’t go on strike due to lack of appreciation! I learned how hard it is to miss out on time with the kids but we both love the change. We have a new level of understanding and I make sure to notice and thank him for all he does, Since I know I needed when I stayed home.
5 Likes
My fiancé couldn’t handle being home with our kids alone. I am stressed everyday cuz I’m the only one doin anything he works from 130pm to 10pm sometimes later on his weekends he still don’t help me. He don’t get after our kids he bribes them with things.
All I can say is that you might expect your house to never be clean again and you may still be doing all the things you do now as a sahm
5 Likes
I’m assuming your 5&6 year old are at school so why can’t you both work and put your 2 year old in care.
Also pay to get a cleaner and problem solved
3 Likes
Why can’t you both work? Extra money to hire some household help
4 Likes
My husband stays at home and it works great for us at the moment
Get daycare dont have him stay home
4 Likes
Talk to him about your concerns. Communication is always the key…
I don’t have time right now to help you unpack all of the internalized misogyny in this post.
1 Like
Maybe since money will be that good for you, both of you could work and potentially find a reliable long term sitter. Maybe he just won’t.need to work as full time and if it absolutely came down to it both of you talk about what the better option would be, who makes more jd wouldn’t it be smarter for that person to work until a better situation is there for both of you to work?
1 Like
Yall are so entitled it is crazy. Not everyone can afford daycare and even then if the dad worked, he would be working for a stranger to raise his kid, what is the point? And some of yall say hire a daycare AND a maid or whatever, shows how out of touch a lot of yall are. Im a stay at home dad and the stigma against us are real.
13 Likes
I would ask your husband how he feels about it tell him you want his honest open communication about the situation maybe he will be OK with it maybe he just needs a little reassurance from you that you will be great at it
I’ve been the money maker for 6 years while dad stays home . It’s just what works for us 5
1 Like
It would probably be best to talk to him and see how he feels about it. I don’t see anything wrong with it but everyone’s different. You’ll never know unless you and him have a conversation about it.
My boyfriend has been a stay at home dad for about two years now he sucks at cleaning but I guess I’ll keep him anyway the kids love it
1 Like
Is there anything he’s interested in doing? I work and my husband stays home doing online schooling. I support him with anything he wants to do career wise. He picks up our kids and watches them but I always make sure he is doing okay because staying at home isn’t easy. Just make sure to always be involved with his interests. He could always go to school or get a part time job. Or if he wants to work and you guys pay daycare that’s an Idea too. Throw all your options on t he table. Communication is key!
DO IT!!! My hubby is a house hubby rn and I love it.
He may not know how he feels yet. A concept is very different than living it. Communication at the beginning, yes. But frequent check ins will malt cut everyone us still buying in everyday. You may not like the job. He may get a new opportunity. Innumerable changes may occur. Be honest and adjust as needed should the reality of a decision not match the hopes prior
1 Like
I knew a family in my hometown the mom was a dentist so the dad stayed home with the kids he’d take them to play groups all the time . He’d work abit at night though
This is an easy solution. He can still work if your kids at school. Babysitter for the ones that are to young… my daughter is 6 I am working from 7 till 3 I have a babysitter that comes at 6.30 picks us both up, drops me to work gives my daughter breakfast and then walks her to school.
My sister in law owns her own business so my brothers able to stay home and care for their baby. Nothing wrong with it!
From experience … dads are not moms …
I’ve watched too many horror stories play out badly <3