Simply cancel it and get a new one.
1 Like
That was a “gift” to him because you allowed it and didn’t report it lost or stolen. Here is nothing anyone can do not even an attorney. And that’s what the judge will see. And he’s had that card for awhile and you did nothing about it.
8 Likes
You were dumb enough to give him back his child support payments. SMH. Why? Was you feeling bad? That’s ridiculous. Your loss. 
9 Likes
Change the pin and get a new card
3 Likes
I’m sorry people are laugh reacting it is a serious situation. I think those people should be kicked from the group.
12 Likes
Cameras from the bank, not sure they will hand over footage so easily, you may need a court order to get that footage. Texts or emails between the two of you that indicate clearly that he has the card in his possession.
1 Like
y’all are out of line telling this woman it’s her fault. you get your wallet stolen and someone spends all your money, it’s your fault huh? if someone threatens you for your wallet is it YOUR fault? oh yeah don’t run to the police cause they’ll tell you “well you handed it over”. there is such a thing as fear, control, threats, and abuse. life ain’t always pretty.
to the OP, tell the courts everything. get a restraining order. but ask your attorney all these questions! they are there to help you! 
7 Likes
Why would u even give it to him???
1 Like
What is wrong with you?
2 Likes
Are y’all missing the word FORCED? You all must have been blessed to never have experienced abuse.
13 Likes
It’s very easy to make anyone feel like shit I’m sure this mom understands not to do that again people make bad decisions but why don’t we scold them for it for fuck sakes juat give her the advice needed
Y don’t you ask the attorney 
2 Likes
He had your permission… that’s how they will spin it… you gave him the card. All you can do is move forward and stop
2 Likes
What is a child support card?
I agree there isn’t anything to be done legally since you gave him the card and pin, you can show the withdrawals and any text msgs you may have and can show what he did but you gave it to him 
1 Like
Uk mama over here. This to me sounds like coercive control and if in the uk he would be able to be prosecuted for this. As we also have laws where if we feel the person is a danger we can request information about their criminal record via Claire’s law. I don’t know how the law works in US so can’t advise for over there but I hope everything works out. Xxx
1 Like
i am absolutely mystified by this. you gave him the card so he could withdraw the money that was supposed to be going to you, from him, for the support of his children??? wtf??? unless he was threatening you - and why if he was abusive was he not prevented from seeing you leading up to the child support & divorce proceedings is also a mystery- and with a weapon, you don’t stand a chance. Your best bet is to report the card stolen now and move forward
2 Likes
The bank would be your best bet. They’ll have signatures if he did withdrawals inside the bank and camera footage if he did it at the atm.
2 Likes
Talk to child support office and wow how rude of people say some the shit said if u cant say anything helpful dont say anything u dont the whole issue
How did he force you ?? Is it his child ?
1 Like
It’s time to stand up to this man. If he’s violent protect yourself and your children, document everything and then try and get a restraining order. From this day forward keep every single text, message, etc…. between you. If you’ve done that already good. Might not be a bad idea (if you can afford it) to get some cameras for inside and outside your home to record any interactions. Do you have an attorney? If not get one. You need legal advice badly. I’m afraid any money he’s taken up to this point is probably gone. He’ll say you willingly gave it to him. Don’t do that any longer. It’s going to take you fighting back to make this stop.
6 Likes
Turn the card off. File for a new one.
6 Likes
Unless you have proof of a threat the courts will blame you, this should have been something you filed in motion for modification, I have a child support card through the DHHR for the fact I didn’t want it being mixed in the bank I wanted my ex to know they had their own card.
1 Like
Unfortunately that’s something that’s hard to prove if there’s no Witnesses or no Prior issues that you reported with abuse… all he has to do is say you gave him the card and pin
1 Like
How did he force you? (Not being an ass, just asking because that’s going to be the first issue here.) if you were physically forced or in danger, that would be something to tell an attorney for sure. If you willingly did it, you should also disclose this and why you did. Maybe you were in fear or feared not seeing your children…?
The second issue is that you were not receiving funds that were to be designated to you for the purpose of your children(s) needs. This will be more of something an attorney can talk to you about and can probably get sorted out for you for the future, but given the situation, you both may honestly be in trouble for now following through with the child support plan. You for (if you did) giving him the card if it was willful and him for stealing it when it wasn’t to be in his hands. He may be in deeper shit than you, but nonetheless, may end up in jail etc.
To answer the other questions, your bank will have record of him withdrawing the funds whether it was ATM, or over the counter with a teller. I assume the card would have had to have been done via atm which would mean they could pull the tapes and see who did it but that will be very time consuming and costly for the bank to do. If he was withdrawing it with a signature, it’d be easier bc you’d have a signature comparison and most likely an ID checked at the time of withdrawal by the teller.
I would get legal advice first!!
How did he get back into your home after being seperated…n get the card from you ? If you allowed it… n didnt take action. Thats on you…
4 Likes
Mine use to take money all the time even when I was in a abuse shelter he had the numbers and used all of it on a wish order,he never got in trouble.its been 2 years now doing a 2 nd pfa and trying to get him from owing a permit to carry.he can’t read or write can’t own a hunting license because he has a mister minor.cant provide for himself and was homless lost his SSI but when he got it back bought 2 guns and a permit to carry.hes a mental case but I can’t prove shit.
Why would you give it to him in the first place?
6 Likes
You should’ve reported the card stolen after the first time. Not much you can do now.
First do you have primary physical custody of the children or does he have them?
Second how does he have the pin to begin with unless you had it written on it (which is already specifically stated do not write or give your pin out)
Whomever has primary physical custody of the children the one who gets to keep the card and that child support is funds to support the children. If you have primary and he forced your hand go make a police report detailing when he took it from you date etc, how many times he withdrew the funds & grand total of funds taken to present date and the fact you have primary custody of them if you do. This allll needs to be on that same report.
ASK the POLICE to make you a COPY of the report to bring to a lawyer before you leave the building when reporting.
Then third you need to report to Child Support Division that it was stolen and have them cancel it and send you a new one.
Fourth Contact a lawyer (there are low income ones you may qualify for you have access to internet you can Google some in your area after you’ve filed a police report and bring the copy of the police report and the call date and time you called Child Support Division record to when you talk to a lawyer.
If you do not have the primary custody of the children then you do not have the rights to the card to begin with that’s how child support works.
Yes the attorney and the bank can help. I have had this problem. All you need to do is get signatures from the bank or show when the withdrawals were made and they can prove he was doing it and he will have to repay it. You will have to pay the bank for paperwork
4 Likes
I would talk to the attorney about it. But the bank would be your best bet, for camera footage. I don’t think there’s much hope for you to get it back, forced or not tbh. Im so sorry you’re going through this momma! Sadly if there is no legal record of him forcing you, there’s not much they can do. Hopefully the attorney will be able to help you!
Change the pin and order new card
3 Likes
Why didn’t you just cancel the card and have a new one sent to you?
2 Likes
I’m going to assume, because you didn’t clarify, that the child support was on a child that wasn’t his (i.e. a child you had before him with an ex) and while you were together, he was withdrawing the money that was meant for your “likely” oldest & keeping it for himself. Although the post makes it sound like he was stealing his money back. It’s hard to tell but yes bring this up to your lawyer for sure!
1 Like
No one can force you to had over a card dont think you will get anywhere with this
1 Like
You gave him the card so there’s nothing you can do about it. Next time grow backbone and tell him no… The day he “forced” you to do this… should have been the day you went to the police station to report it. 
2 Likes
Why on gods green earth would you give your ex your card smh and pin to withdraw your kids money. lol unreal. Flabbergasted
1 Like
Um…you gave it to him? And to pull off anything I’d assume you also gave him the pin to do so? I don’t think they can legally do anything since you yourself gave it to him… Maybe the bank can help? Idk that’s a tough one
Uhm dont give him the card that is for you to take care of the child.
You gave it to him so they won’t do anything
Well first of all how can he force you to give you your child support card that’s in your name? And why didn’t you cancel the card the second he took it? Yes you can go back on transactions and ATMs and bank cameras and get records that he withdrew money but in reality you should’ve canceled the card the second it left your hand.
1 Like
I’m not a lawyer, but I doubt there is anything that can or will be done. By all means, mention it to your attorney, but you GAVE him the card and the PIN. By your account, him FORCING you to give him the card and PIN is theft and it should have been reports as such. If you hand someone your debit card and provide them with the PIN, you can’t turn around and claim fraud.
4 Likes
Honestly I would talk to a lawyer privately but I would not bring it up at your hearing. It may make things seem that you are unable to have custody of your children due to decision making. I say now change the card information and don’t give him access going forward but if u allowed this going on for months I want to say you’re SOL… unless u can prove he went in there without your knowledge or consent. $1200 is a lot of money monthly so no wonder he wanted it back and I don’t doubt there is some emotional abuse so maybe focus on yourself get some counselling learn some assertiveness because if you’re coparenting with someone like this, it’s going to be a long road ahead. No excuse for his behaviour, and at this point Mama u need to get help for yourself so u can be a good mom to your kids.
1 Like
Why would you even give it to him? No one can force you to do that- if you didn’t want to give it to him, you shouldn’t have, simple as that. The court probably will not help you with that since you gave it to him and obviously gave him the pin. No offense, but that wasn’t the smartest thing to do.
1 Like
Soooo… he held a gun to your head? Your child’s head? Hmmmm…
2 Likes
Did he physically harm you to get the card? They’re going to ask while you didn’t report it to the child support facility and to the police. Also, why you didn’t call and cancel the card. You can ask the bank for the days that he withdrew the money for video footage. I don’t believe the court will side with you on that particular issue.
8 Likes
Stupid is, stupid does.
3 Likes
Yes they can prove it, atms have cameras.
3 Likes
I would like to know (I’m sorry, personal) was there domestic abuse involved? I understand it can be hard to say no when you are afraid. If so then I’m sure there’s a way for the attorney to help. Hopefully you have some way to show them this
2 Likes
Ohhhh! 
definitely need to run this by your attorney BEFORE court other wise he may would actually fire you on spot in the court room. Yes, he will know exactly what to say/do about the situation or if anything can be done at all
4 Likes
ATM’s have cameras but you need to call the number on that card and change the pin #
2 Likes
This Just my opinion…(bc I’ve seen ppl do it)
Sounds like y’all together but say separate ,
Maybe to get government help like snap ,wic etc.
He pays child support bc of these funds, sometimes these agencies push cs and u have to go after their other parent to be able to get it. and once he pays his cs he goes gets his money back bc he supports y’all and baby every day…
Bc 1200 a month for cs shows he makes decent money, but probably makes to much money for you to receive government help…
Kinda living the best of both worlds…
So now you’re mad at him and want to get him in trouble for taking his own money…
When you gave him the card for months to withdraw it…
More to the story than what you wrote!
9 Likes
He didn’t force you to do anything. Nice try. Why did you even give it to him. That’s your fault
4 Likes
Report the card stolen
Is it at all possible ,people , that she in fact did NOT provide the pin , he could of knew her well enough to guess it ??? Quit picking apart everything you THINK is wrong and answer the question. If yal can give good insight to what she’s looking to find out THATS YOUR TIME TO SHINE as a human !! Otherwise the rest of you make a choice to sit here and interpret a situation the way you see fit to have something to say or feel relevant or whatever .
2 Likes
You didn’t report a crime so no. As far as they are concerned you handed it to him.
2 Likes
Now, on the other hand. If you just gave it to him just because then no I don’t think you can do anything. As the mama you need to stand up and take care of your kids. If my other comment is not valid.
1 Like
Why did you give him the card?
3 Likes
I’m just going to say I’m sorry for the women who laughed at this. As a whole we should be doing better
6 Likes
He held you at gunpoint? Has previously caused you great harm? If that’s the case you need to get a restraining order so he can’t be around you to threaten you, and can’t have anyone threaten you either. You’re never going to get that money back, you gave him the card with the code to get the money out. He will not get into trouble for stealing something you actually gave to him. If you’re afraid to be around him for whatever reason, tell your lawyer. If you can’t say no to him for whatever reason bring someone with you who doesn’t mind telling him to go to heck.
You can call and say the card was lost and you’ll get a new one- but you can’t give it to him.
4 Likes
The bank has video of whomever withdraws the money. I would first start with the police to see if you can file charges that he took your card against your will and then they can gather that evidence through their investigation. And yes inform your lawyer and take advice from him/her.
3 Likes
Sounds like you’re a$$ out on this one. You can’t prove he forced you to do this.
You gave him the card AND the PIN number to withdraw the funds. Now you and him are not getting along and you want to use that against him. That money is gone……move on and learn from it.
10 Likes
Why did you give him the card? Not trying to be mean but if you gave ot to him I highly doubt anything can be done now way after the fact
2 Likes
The banks can pull reports and video. I’d report it to the police and see what they say. Then hire an attorney. Surely someone can help
I’m so confused. I’m assuming you receive child support from another man for the child? And your now husband wanted the card even tho the money is for the child? Doesn’t sound like a piece of shit at all
u had a choice. unless he had u at gun point that’s on you 
2 Likes
You do not stole what is given to you .
That will be very hard to prove.
Report the card stolen or change the PIN number
He can’t force you to give him anything. The second you gave that card you should have canceled and reported it stolen. Call right now and do that
If that happens give him the Pin backwards. It will dispatch police to that location. Saved me once.
2 Likes
Just tell your attorney, they can inform you of your rights. If they can help they will. The rude people on here don’t have law degrees they can’t help you
I swear. The lack of common sense of people. No wonder men mansplain
Well let me ask. How long did he have the card? How did he force you? Who was the support for if he’s an ex and y’all barley in court for child. Was he paying support to you before the custody since custody and support are two separate cases.?? I ask these since it can play a huge part. If he had it over a month and you didn’t report it stolen and get a new one nor did you call the cops on him about it saying u were scared if u cancelled it would make you not in a safe spot. more than likely they won’t do anything to him or make him pay it back as it looks like your saying it was okay
All atm machines have cameras to see who uses it with times and dates…all you need to do is have your lawyer get the bank to give all the times he withdrew money from the account. The atm will also have the time and dates to correspond him taking the money on camera along with the card info. They are going to ask you why you gave him the card though. They can easily prove it but did you report this right away? They are going to ask why it took so long if you didn’t. I really hope it works out with you in court. Also if you notified the child support unit they would of canceled that card and sent you a new one linked to the same account so he couldn’t use the card that should of been done also. I’m sure he will get in a lot of trouble though.
1 Like
I think you could get into trouble for not reporting it, be careful
1 Like
You can’t prove you didn’t get the money from him is the problem
How did he get card…
Some of yall have never been with a narcissist or abuser. It shows! Be glad but also be cautious of how you word things!!!
5 Likes
Some of you people have never been in an abusive relationship and it shows.
6 Likes
Get a new card cut it off but you could’ve given him the card then shut it down so he didn’t have access to it and report to someone that he is trying to force you to give him that money sure you could get a lawyer but in a judges eye you gave him the card with full access to it
I mean if you gave him the card and PIN number then that’s on you and they probably won’t do anything.
4 Likes
Mmm yeah you are at a bigger fault for allowing and not reporting. Probably would drop that argument. He sounds like a narcissist but the courts won’t view it as that legally.
You obviously gave it to him wtf how did he force you
2 Likes
If he “forced” you to give him the card report him for domestic violence and theft
7 Likes
You gave it to him. Best solution now is to request a new card and not give it to him.
2 Likes
Not really unless you can prove he forced you.
All these people saying “he can’t force you”. Do you know her situation? Was it an abusive situation previously? Was she afraid for her self, her child, or something else? Make no judgment until you walk a mile in her shoes.
As far as proving it, that may be difficult. However, if he went to the ATM, as someone else mentioned, there may be video of him withdrawing the funds. Even then, it may be difficult
Good luck mama
6 Likes
Should have reported it stolen.
1 Like
Like he paid child support and then took the card and took his money back? You should have cancelled the card or reported him if that was the case. You were already divorced so it’s not like he could leave you again
There is absolutely no way I would give my ex the child support card… you crazy for sure for doing that. This is all on you for sure. You should have reported it stolen and shut it down. But you let it go on so I doubt anything would happen on that… and why are you on here asking when you should be asking ur lawyer first. So he paid you cs and then took it back? Ma’am that D is not that great to have him stealing from you. 
1 Like
Your lawyer will advise you . The bank will have video evidence of who used the card and unless his name is on it should have taken the card back and contacted you
I know what its like to be forced into something and be scared to report it…get yourself a lawyer. Good luck
4 Likes
Report the card stolen and get a new one
1 Like
Think your just kinda screwed on that one.
1 Like
Nope no way to prove it because you gave it to him, he had your pin. Your sol 
3 Likes
But you gave him the card? That’s not how that works unfortunately. Even if he forced you, why wouldn’t you immediately call and report the card stolen or change the pin?
1 Like
Reported it stolen was your first bet!
And if it was forced like abusive should of reported it…. But kinda out of luck getting any of that back unless you can prove he took that money out.
2 Likes
Wth is a child support card?
1 Like
It doesn’t make sense y said your ex made y give him the child support card then y said ya are finally in court for for child support y gave him the card it’s on y
Lol. Whyyyyyy would you hand the card over. Tell his ass to get bent.