Can blended families and coparenting work?

My ex husband (the father of my first born son) and I divorced when my son was three years old. He cheated on me with the woman who would then be his girlfriend for the next several years until recently. He and I had a very nasty divorce because there were a lot of lies cheating and trying to hurt one another. I feel so much time has passed that we’re both kind of just “over” all the BS and have been doing really with coparenting and communication that we’ve kind of gotten back on the friendship level. Like that person he was, who I fell in love with is still there. I no longer resent him. However, I don’t still love him or see him in that way. His girlfriend of many years (who he cheated on me with) had an abortion and left him because she was convinced he still loved me. I have a boyfriend now of 9 months who has treated me like a queen and we haven’t had a single argument or moment of jealousy this entire time. He is even completely aware that my sons father has come from out of state to spend time with the kids (he treats my daughter as his own when here). My boyfriend hasn’t shown an ounce of insecurity or lost of trust and that makes me love him more. I’ve invited to come meet my sons father but he refused. My boyfriend and I have been talking about our future together (getting a house, starting a family, etc) I guess my question is…. Is this okay?? I’ve always fought so hard with my ex that I don’t know what’s it’s like to have a healthy coparenting relationship. I don’t know what it’s like to have a healthy living relationship until now. And somehow, I feel like something is wrong or something bad is going to happen. Do other blended families work like this too?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Can blended families and coparenting work?

Coparenting works when you focus on the kids. It sounds like y’all are on the right track.

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Many families are blended families. My ex and I had a NASTY separation and divorce. We get along now for our kids, my husband gets along with him as much as is needed for our kids (3 of them). We make it work because we all know what is best for the kids and that’s seeing adults being able to get along and coparent. It’s harder with my husbands sons mothers, but hopefully we will get there eventually. I see no reason to not continue your life with your s/o because you have kids with someone else, Unless you have any romantic or loving feelings for your ex.

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Co-parenting works when the adults behave as adults. Put the child first.
Now, stop looking something bad and enjoy where you are. Many parents always fight and argue…enjoy the positive steps you’ve all made.
One day at a time. :heart:

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Hes not ready for that. It’s only 9 months in, wait a bit longer

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It’s probably weird for him. I was the one brought in (my now husband and my SD mom got divorced when SD was 1, it was a NASTY divorce and we got together right before SD turned 3) and I knew haivens mom and it was weird but it was only weird in my head. We’re from a SMALL town, all of us knew each other before me and my husband were a thing, I knew them when they were a thing lol your boyfriend may just be nervous like I was but as long as y’all are all focused on the kids, it’ll be okay. My husbands ex treats my kids just like I do and I treat her boys like I do mine also. We go do things together with all 6 kids, they all come and go from our houses as they please and we sit on the porch just me and my husbands ex while they all play in the yard. We’re 6 years down the road now and we all get along great, no one tries to start fights or cause issues and we talk daily nearly. It takes time but it’s completely okay!

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My husbands ex-wife welcomed me immediately and when we are in town we usually stay with them. I’m not sure how it would be if i was around all the time but I know we get along well. She even said it was ok for my daughter (husbands daughter with me) to come visit and they live almost 1300 miles away from us.

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My ex and I fought for close to 8 years and I never thought we would be able to coparent but we finally are and its nice. We are no where near friends but we are civil and we can talk without arguing at all now. I dont involve my husband when it comes to my ex because it will just make things messy so they tolerate each other but no need to spend any time together other than school events where all 4 of us are there. My husband respects that and only steps in if my ex oversteps too much which has only happened once.

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Personally… please people don’t come hate. Just a perspective thats different… buttt frankly… I think if this man or future men don’t want to coparent with you then that’s something you shouldn’t accept. Personally, I think a true relationship is worth preserving especially if it’s genuine and mutual. If y’all can peacefully coexist (for forever really) then that’s something your child(ren) will always appreciate for all time. My step dad IS my Dad, and my Dad is also. My dad. My mom never kept me from him. Never spoken badly… but I figured out at some point on my own my bio just really shouldn’t have been a father. Not his fault necessary. He did great when I was a kid and although lacking I still cherish and yearn for a continuous loving relationship. My mother till this day humors him when he calls, (he’s 20 years her senior, 40 mine). So he’s in that wacky state of his life. Its so nice to know he can call my mom and they laugh and my step dad will talk to him. I dont know I feel if it doesn’t work out, then that’s unfortunate. But if you could make the next best thing happen. Shouldnt you try??:woman_shrugging:t4: just my thoughts

It can work, especially when there are clear boundaries and you focus solely on the kids. Nothing else is relevant so don’t bother with it.

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Good luck either way, and I hope you find what you need!

It has taken me and my daughters dad 3 years to get where we are now with coparenting. He has a new girlfriend and she’s so good with our daughter and I have a baby from my current relationship. We all get along and can co parent really well!

Yeah if the adults actually act like adults.

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It’s only been 9 months and if he is already treating your kids like his own that should be enough. Men have pride and protection strengths/issues. Give it time and be patient. All that matters is how he is with you and especially your kids. If he isn’t causing an issue like you said then please don’t cause one for him and be respectful of his wants and needs.

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It’s completely okay to have a healthy co parenting relationship, in fact it’s so beneficial for you and your child. Make sure you establish clear boundaries though and don’t let anything ruin the relationship you have with your SO because jealousy can rear it’s ugly head sometimes with even the most cool and confident men. I would also be careful of the ex girlfriend coming into the picture again because it happens frequently especially since they were together so long. She could potentially throw a wrench in things if she does. But definitely keep the good coparenting relationship up. Just remember to establish boundaries and respect your relationship. The main reason I say that is if the ex girlfriend felt insecure about your friendship/co-parent relationship your boyfriend may eventually feel the same over time. Not saying it is the case here but just be cautious of his feelings as well.

I love it that my bf and my kids dad have Conversations it’s sooo much diff but better and my kids definitely show a benefit from it!! I
Think it’s great if it can work and your truly coparenting with no other intentions

He may not be ready. Or he ia saying no cause he may wanna fight him for treating you like shit. Let him feel that way and dont force it. Things are going well so let it go

Of course it can work and of course…you can take your time

Coparenting can absolutely be so amazing, fulfilling and healthy for all parties involved. And you are on the right track. If you ever need to speak to another mama doing the coparenting thing im here for you.

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Yes!!! We have been doing it for about 7 years now. It doesn’t happen overnight. All it takes is raw real honesty. I got lucky and I gained a friendship with my bonus sons mom. Being a mom I know what I say should matter so it was easy to make sure her side was heard and respected. We do not bash. My ex was the “late bloomer” to the circle of co-parenting. Everyone happens at their own pace. We can’t force it. We can only give them the chance to decide their own level of involvement. My bonus kid is just as much mine. I chose a man with a child and would choose him again and again. Except today. He was a mood on his own. But there are days where communication is crossed and feelings get hurt. We are humans. We forget stuff, lose favorite shirts, or understand that we run different environments in our homes. We even vote differently :exploding_head::flushed: I know! And it changed nothing. :rofl: and I felt out of place in the beginning. They are from more stable upbringings with both parents being married, etc. I grew up in a subsidized apartment or my grandmas house and didn’t have a dad. You just have to want it to work. Sorry so long :heart:

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Can blended families and coparenting work?

That is just trauma from your first marriage. It is normal to feel that way after what you experienced. I wouldn’t pressure them to meet either. They will meet when they are both ready

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To have full relationship your now Boyfriend needs to meet the children’s father.
If he doesn’t, then you can’t have a good co-parenting family.
You & the Ex have sorted things out finally, are in a better place to raise your child without malice or issues.
That!!! Is amazing.
So your boyfriend now needs to adjust to the Dad and find his place.

I co parent with My Ex & his Partner - it can be done if the Adults are mature enough to separate their own issues from the children.

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It can. Once in a while. If boundaries are clear and all parents are transparent and can trust that they all have the children’s best interest in mind. I’ve seen it in my in laws and it’s beautiful.

I’m not sure tbh. Ummm. I mean to me it’s not a huge deal

Girl : that’s crazy I am living a very similar situation…my ex and I had a very ugly breakup too. I mean ugly . And it stayed ugly for the first year . The gf he has now is a girl who caused A LOT of problems between us . Well fast forward to today . My now husband and him are super cool , it’s kind of funny . But when she’s around she’s not acknowledged girl . To me right now what’s important is that my now husband myself and my ex all have a healthy and cool relationship. No drama. Speaking from the heart , I don’t find it important to be cool with this other girl I don’t have the energy in me right now to “forgive” her . Blended families do work … just focus on what matters … the kid(s) some people won’t agree or support it but it’s doable. & the biggest reward is seeing the kids happy . Because everything is peaceful

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Let your boyfriend decide when he is ready. If he has been accepting and easy with everything, don’t push it. He will come around in his own way. Just let him know u respect his behavior and acceptance. If u push it to early it could blow up in ur face. But also see if u can hold off with the house buying n stuff until you know they can stand each other, if you get in deep and they don’t match then you will be in a very bad place

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Yep it can. Been married over 40 years with blended family…his, hers and ours. Gotta work together. Always have each others back. Support each other and consistent with behavior issues especially.

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Be thankful!!! The last almost 3 years have been complete exhaustion and hell because of my fiances ex wife who is a typical bitter jealous baby mama who just wants to hurt us no matter how it affects the kids… I wouldnt even want my worst enemy to meet that witch…

How’s this for great co-parenting…. I just went on vacation to Florida to see my daughter graduate college. My ex and I have been divorced since 2014. Together we have a son (18) daughter (22) He is in a new relationship with a new son (almost 5 years old). My kids, my mom and I stayed at my ex’s home in Florida with him and his son. We even went to dinner together, went to Volcano Bay together. His new girlfriend (Who’s is great and we get along great) could not be there due to her work schedule. Once divorced parents realize that the welfare of the kids and their mental health is what matters most. Everything else is simple.

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Maybe you’re just thinking into this to way to hard… He probably is trying to protect himself. He doesn’t want to meet your ex & “be the 3rd wheel”. He wants it to be just about your kid & their father. What if you take your boyfriend & your child wants to spend time with him over the father? What if he’s waiting until you’ve been in your relationship longer & he thinks it just to soon? That is a big step… I wouldn’t push. There’s nothing wrong with him stepping back. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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I think its fine that you asked and it’s fine he said no. Give it time, it’s still fairly soon. They probably should meet properly rather than some kind of accidental awkward meeting but I think it can wait.

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Blended families work when the adults start to acknowledge the kids come first always! And the fights or any disagreement should never be in front of the kids! You have gotten to the point where you care more for your child and set your feelings aside!

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It seems to me you found yr self a very lucky guy who understands the situation an trust you… Id suggest…dont push or rush to meet an gather…when that times comes it comes…may it be simple as the father come for the child…but domt ever mak him feel uncomfortable…if u unsure of what u want with ur bf…cause yu think still.love ur husband an feelin u wud make bak plz dont waste the bf time or hurt him.

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You have what should be the normal co-parenting relationship. Don’t try to push the issue of your current partner meeting your ex it really isn’t that important. You have a man that loves you, is good to your children and trusts you. They will meet when they are ready. Don’t let your past relationship trauma ruin your happy relationship.

I think I would leave it up to Dad on this one. If he wants to meet the boyfriend, he should be able to do that. I know I want to meet anyone my kiddos are spending time with. It doesn’t have to be dinner or anything, but maybe you could just introduce him during an at home dropoff? Just so they have a chance to acknowledge each other. But every situation is different, and it’s just something to discuss with each of them.

It’ll get better in due time, make sure your bf is comfortable with meeting your sons dad first and not rush it…

Having a healthy co parenting relationship is what’s best for all kids involved. My husbands ex wife stays with us sometimes. I don’t ever have to worry about them doing anything cuz theyre last that and those feelings and it works great for our kids

Your current partner doesnt need to meet or have anything to do with your ex dont push that , i have been with my partner 5 years and hes never spoke to my childs dad thats not something that needs to be done , a healthy co parent relationship can happen between you and the childrens dad by only talking about the children not the past or anything like that , your boyfriend sounds great tbh

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Absolutely. My ex and I split after 5 years because he was sleeping with prostitutes. We have three kids together. My husband now and I have a daughter. All four kids call both men dad. Ex calls every night and visits often. Husband and ex will chat and husband and I have been helping ex get into dating again. Ex encouraged me not to give up when I got insecure in my current relationship and cried when my husband proposed. He loves our daughter as his own and our kids have extra grandparents and cousins. Whenever ex comes to visit he stays in our house. The three of us are good friends. This all took a ton of work. It required being completely selfless and thinking of the kids. It’s hard but it is absolutely amazing. We LOVE our blended family

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Girl 9 months your still in the honeymoon stage.
I think your still some what attached because of details you choose to ad that didn’t need to.
He don’t want to be apart if the drama. I’m sure you told him all the details.
I think your looking to much into it. Let nature take its course.

Me and my boyfriends baby momma(bad word I know) get along fine. She’s even watched my daughter for me.
My boyfriend and my baby daddy(basically all he is) can be civil.
It just shows a lot when you just introduce yourself to the person who is actually the mom or dad of the kid.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Can blended families and coparenting work?

My first ex husband and i have a daughter. She is 10 now. We go on vacations all together. Have dinners all the time. Spend holidays together and birthdays. I’m not saying it was easy but we came to how yall did when our daughter was about 4 and now our 10 year old is so happy. And she stated once she loves it because she gets to spend time with both parents And she doesn’t have to pick a parent.

Super possible! I have 2 children who have different fathers and a husband who has a child w his ex. It’s not always rainbows and glitter but we havent gone to court for any of it. . Arguments are kept away from the kids. We compromise and communicate. Each of us have a spouse. So my husband and I co parent 3 children, btwn 4 houses, w 8 adults/parents total. We share holidays, we ALL get together for the kids bday dinners/parties/sports events . I definitely don’t have the same love/respect for every person in the circle but I play my part for the kids. Enjoy your life it’s to short.

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Yes, it can happen! It’s a choice to make for the kids benefit. My son and his former girlfriend coparent very well and my 8 year old grandson couldn’t be happier.

My dad was divorced with an adult child when he married my mom. Had to celebrate 5yrs for every year married until they caught up with the ages of the kids. He said divorced people sometimes can not say why the marriage went wrong.
My son met and married a wonderful girl whose parents were divorced. This is any celebration at his house. FIL and wife (20yr), MIL, cousins, kids, etc. And they all get along. FIL even has helped his former wife at one time. Be glad you are friends again.

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It can work…its great your boyfriend loves you and your family. As long as you dont go over any boundaries…your ex is not the man in your life.

Be cautious. I had a bad experience with a man with no kids being too overbearing with my kids. Then, another relationship where we tried to merge with 2 kids each, we went from blissfully happy, to living apart again. It is tricky.

Honey I applaud you! It’s very possible! I mean they will meet on there own time. But a father who you can still remain friends with and co parent with is amazing and to have a man that understands that is rare. He may not be ready now to meet your sons father but I do think the future holds something beautiful for your family. They don’t have to be friends but for the child’s sake they should definitely meet. Sports school birthdays that’s all something that they will both be apart of. And this child has so many people to love them.

It’s completely possible… he loves you and treats your child like his own. He doesn’t have to meet or be friends with your ex. If he accepts that you have to co-parent and doesn’t Interfere that’s all that matters…

Yes very possible my boyfriend and I each have 3 kids from our previous marriage/long term relationship we also have a child of our own together. Both our exes cheated on us. My ex has a girlfriend who hes been with since before we split up and they now have a child and another on the way and my bfs ex finally has seemed to move on with her life or so it seems. Its taken alot of work and still there’s alof of resentment and hatred but my kids stepmom and I can coparent and be nice although I know not to trust her fully because she d ones lie and is bestfriends with my boyfriends ex to try and cause problems. Although none of us like eachother we can get along and even do things together as blended families to make our kids happy even if its uncomfortable. My ex usually doesn’t get involved and leaves it up to his girlfriend and honestly its better that way. It takes alot of work and putting ill feelings aside but it is possible

Yes if you get a good man you will have no problems

Fan Question after Fan Question…are these for real or just click bait. Is this a holiday group or not?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Can blended families and coparenting work?

If he doesn’t have kids and this is his first rodeo, go easy on him. It would be ideal, but not a deal breaker. Just offer, and let him make that move when he’s comfortable. I’d say the most important thing is treating your children well, and if he does, I’d let it go.

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I and both of my daughters have blended families. We all coparent with all parents involved. It is such a beautiful thing for the children!!! Issues come up but we deal with them. You could be happily married, having the same children together and there will be issues so we do not really get too worked up over them. Like I said, it’s wonderful for the children!!!

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That’s my ex in the red and my fiancé in the gray. Not everyone’s situation is like this- but it’s possible. We have a LOT of hard conversations. We don’t have even a sliver of room for jealousy, bitterness or any type of drama in this family. My ex and I were VERY toxic for one another. And I mean TOXIC. But what he and I did to each other had nothing to do with our parenting. We waved the white flag when it came to our kids. Friendship came later.

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Co-parenting is easy when everyone is an adult and respects boundaries. Didn’t formally meet my bonus baby’s mom until a good year of being with my husband, and it was just a hi and bye. Not really a need for them to get close so soon as long as there’s mutual respect. And communicated boundaries.

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We are a blended family. It took many years of effort from all sides but it’s awesome now! I’m stepmom and bio mom and I get along awesome! My bio kids adore her and all the adults come to things like open house and recitals but we also share pictures back and forth of my bonus daughter and go to dinner together. It’s a blessing to my heart to have our village.

That is a tough one. I can personally say I had a terrible divorce. My ex did everything possible to make my life and our son’s life miserable for 14 years. Then one day he just stopped being a horrible person and finally started trying to do what was in our son’s best interest. While neither of us are perfect and I always tried to do the right thing he finally stepped up and started doing the right thing after years of not doing it. Our son makes no excuses for his dad’s behavior but we have come together for our kid. Now I’m the first person he calls about everything even if it’s not about our son who is now 21. We somehow managed to have a graduation party for him together. I never thought that would have been possible and he actually helps us out from time to time. My husband now doesn’t like it because he knows the history but I love my son and will do anything that benefits him even if that means being civil to someone who has done so much harm to us. So it can be done.

Blended families do work like that. My ex fiancé and I get along so well and I’m actually pregnant with my current fiancé! My ex and I’s co-parenting relationship is great! My fiancé treats my son like his own and it’s an amazing sight to see! You my dear were blessed just like I was.

I think blended families are beautiful, but in this situation be very careful, it sounds like your ex still loves you and want you back. Remember his ex left him because she thought he was still in love with you. Just move carefully and make sure you include your current boyfriend in everything you all do. Good Luck

Im a lil concerned he refuses to meet your ex. Its an important step if you two plan to build a life together.

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They dont need to meet eachother. As long as he treats you and thr kids good thats all that matters…

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Do what you feel is right in your heart. Life’s too short to not do something then later regret it.

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My husband and I have been together 2 years. He has 3 kids I have 1 and we just had our baby girl almost 6 months ago. So we are a big blended family. We both co parent well with the other parents. I met my husband’s ex (his kids mom) I think maybe a few weeks into our relationship. We moved fast but that’s because we knew what we both wanted and we knew what we didn’t want. It worked amazing for us and we are completely happy the way our life has turned out.

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Why doesn’t he want to meet the father of your kids? I welcome my girls bonus mom immediately. Had talked to her on the phone. She wanted to meet me before she spent a weekend with my girls.

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I would suggest this is normal and all the fighting is not. You’re all grown adults… and the kids benefit from your maturity and respect for one another. I watched a friend of mine and her (then) husband acknowledge thier marriage wasn’t working after 20 years and 2 children in. He found comfort in a mutual friend of theirs - her kids played with his kids. That friend quickly became his girlfriend and then second wife. My friend saw it all for what it was and focused on the kids. Fast forward to today - my friend is remarried, he is married, all of the kids between the 2 couples are super close and all of the adults work as a team. They all vacation together and show up for the little things. I have to tell you - it’s a beautiful way to navigate what could be a life changing event for kids.

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:wave:t3: my fiancé and I will be together for a year next month, and him and my oldest sons (almost 4) dad get along well. We all do. I also love my sons dads wife. She’s such a beautiful person inside and out.

My fiancé has an 8 year old from a previous relationship. For the most part he and his sons mom get along well, and she’s great!

It’s all about putting our kiddos first really. Just not worth the drama and who did what.

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This sounds healthy! Good for you!

Young one - life to short - go for it. Live, Love, Learn, and Enjoy the day!!!

Coparenting sometimes works out better than the relationship did. My ex & I had the picture perfect relationship in the beginning & it ended VERY ugly, long story short, now we coparent great! We get along so well, we’re able to talk about anything & everything, relationships, stress, drama, money, future plans, etc with each other. We even go to each other for advice & it’s great. It was kinda weird to adjust to that from always fighting & arguing but now I love the relationship we have cause our son only benefits from us being civil

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Me , my husband and his ex have had our share of ups and downs but I can honestly say 5 years later, she’s prolly my closest friend.

We haven’t always been this way.

Give it time.

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I didn’t set anything up. I showed up to my daughter soccer game with my boyfriend and pretty much forced them to meet lol I knew my ex wouldn’t act up in front of our daughter in the school and it actually worked out well my now husband and him have exchanged numbers and things are good

Keep doing what you’re doing. It is completely possible! I have seen many great co-parenting relationships. Sadly there are some that it is impossible to achieve. It doesn’t sound like this is the case for you and yours. Give your current boyfriend time your relationship is still very young.

My oldest sons father and I it’s a hit and miss.

My youngest sons father and I get along, I couldn’t stand his now ex girlfriend, she was beyond childish and immature and thought the world only revolved around her. It was terribleness.

On the other hand, my dad’s ex wife and my mom were best friends, they were like sisters. She used to take my sister and I for days and weekends, she would take us to her family events. She was my second mom, she’s my children’s grandmother and when she passed away last month my mom broke down just as hard as my siblings and I did.

So, just because you have come to terms with everything and have been able to forgive, this is an entirely new process for your boyfriend.
You know that everything that happened in the past really does not matter now, and you have taken a lot of time to come to the place you are in now but you also have probably shared all of that with your boyfriend.

Even though he wasn’t there for all of the pain, all he knows about this man is how horrible he was to you basically. He is not going to take your forgiveness and apply it to himself in this situation.
If he doesn’t seem bothered by you and your ex communicating then it is very likely not a jealousy or insecurity issue, it is more that now he is trying to figure out how to process dealing with somebody who was once so horrible to you. He very likely just wants to protect you and isn’t sure how to handle himself around him quite yet. It is absolutely very possible to have a great coparenting relationship if you set that goal mutually, but it won’t be as quick for him as it is for you to get along. Making that first step and starting to open communication up gradually is the best way to do it, but he needs to understand him having any sort of resentment towards your ex or your children’s father is only going to hurt them and he needs to focus on the love he has for them and to set the example.

It’s definitely possible depending on everyone’s feelings that are involved. It takes time and every person has different feelings but as long as there’s honest communication and you all are putting the kids feelings first there no reason it can’t work. My ex and current partner have met and get along ; I’ve met my ex’s girlfriend and she’s wonderful. We just threw our 4 year old a very small birthday party with just her, us 4, my parents, sister and my ex’s mom and everyone gets along perfectly its pretty incredible seeing how much our daughter loves all of us. Life is short to hold onto anger you sound pretty great just keep doing what your doing and I have no doubt it’ll all work.

I am a server, and for many years, kept a stash of cash “in case I have to leave”. I had been psychologically damaged from previous relationships. I still keep emergency money (for unexpected emergency repairs, like vehicle or large appliances).but my husband and I have been together for so long, and I know him so well, that he knows where it is now, and I am now with someone who will let it sit until the furnace goes out.

im sorry but your boyfriend hasnt really committed to you or your future if he doesnt realize that he will also need to coparent and meet the father-thats a huge red flag for boyfriend imo

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Go for it. Breath you have a right to be happy

My parents were friends with my dad’s ex and her husband for years… so much so we would stay with them during family vacations, me and my little sister call my dad’s ex mil grams, and actually lived with them for a little while (once we were older and at separate times). But for years there was a lot of hate between my mom and the ex wife. People grow and change, so yes it does work.

Dad is just jealous now that you’re in a relationship. Keep the boyfriend!

Girl you sound like me it’s extremely hard Honestly it’s taking me a lot even doing Therpay it’s so possible to do it!

Get in a fight with the new guy, before you get too serious. You never know a person til you’ve seen how they treat you when they are mad.

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You are not ready. Thats why you are questioning yourself.

Let things play out. Time will tell all things. Baby daddy might be good now but if he gets another girlfriend it could change. Let it all progress separately and eventually it will all come together if ita meant to be

Ummmm if bf is talking about serious things such as marriage eventually it will be inevitable they meet. I wouldn’t force that too much.as 4 the coparenting it is what u make of it so if u 2 can find a way 2 be cordial 2 each other then great if not be the bigger person. It will work in ur favor. Let the bf do his thing and help u through the rest. If he’s serious enough at this point 2 want 2 move forward then go 4 it. U are only talking about it nothing is set in stone yall have time

if u do marry the boyfriend, watch how the ex -acts with u n kids… my guess is he will change back, to the ugly

It can work! As long as everyone can remain respectful it can work out. My husband has 2 children from his previous marriage that we share custody of with his ex in-laws. And honestly his ex in-laws are heaven sent💕 thankfully we all get along so well that they are “Nana&Papa” to mine & hubby’s bio kids. And we do everything together cause they’re like our parents(even more than our actual parents😬)every family is different but it can be very beautiful

I have 2 older girls with my ex and 2 younger ones with my fiancé of 5 years.

It took us a bit but we have a great coparenting relationship. We both have Keys to each other’s houses. We spend all the big holidays together. There is no parenting plan at all for the older girls.

My fiancé steps in some times to take older girls to drs apts just due to schedules. Ex is fine with it. My youngest daughter adores my ex and she loves going to his house.

We go to dinner sometimes over there and sometimes here.

It’s made my life so full and happy. It’s so nice not to hate the other person. Kids enjoy it and they don’t see us fighting. We are all on the same page when it comes to parenting.

It is very hard to have a step parent in the lives of our children. I don’t wabt to hinder a relationship with my older girls and told my fiancé as such. He knows he isn’t there dad however he has a relationship with them too.

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Id speak to him what more can you do really

Your lucky youv got 2 men who like you nd suport you

Not many mothers out have that.

My boyfriend cheated on his sons mother when she was pregnant she tried to make it work but couldn’t handle it they have been split for 20 years during that time he met a female and married her the wife and mother didn’t get along and they had a shitty co-parent relationship when I started dating him his son was 13 and my daughter was 7 I helped with school and doctors appointments and his mother and I got close their relationship got better we did things as a big blended family I call her with any issues I have he talks with her all the time we all have a great relationship

I know blended families can work. One of my friends has two boys with her ex. Her ex’s wife treats the boys like her own. My friend just got married last year and her husband treats the boys like his own. However they feel about each other, the boys come first. It takes work, but can happen.

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As long as you keep the communication open it can work and the more people involved in the child’s life the better

Yes it can definitely happen especially when everyone works for it knowing the kids will be so happy knowing that when you’re all together it’s a good thing. Not only will it help everyone involved now but it will help the next generation. Showing your kids how all of you made this work out will show them how to make things work out with their kids. All of y’all are the role models for your kids and future grandkids

Don’t fall for his crap now that he’s alone mary

Can’t we all get along? Yes we can!