I’m thinking about divorce. For more than one reason. I would like advice, or what the whole process was like. All tips are welcome
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If it’s amacible you can file on your own depending on your state. It’s alot cheaper.
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File first. It works better for you.
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Get yourself sorted first. Establish credit in your name. A bank account in your name get a solid job secure anything precious/ valued get your legal docs birth certificate passport SS card together Do all that first. If you have to move the good credit will help you get a decent place. If it is amicable it can be done cheep and sometime with only filing papers at the courthouse. If not many lawyers will do a low or no cost consult ask around See who is good. But first make sure YOU have your personal ducks in a row
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If it’s amicable, sort everything out before filing. Then you can file for yourself. Save a bunch of money.
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Definitely sit down with a GOOD lawyer. They can explain the process to you.Unfortunately a good lawyer is expensive but is worth it in the end!!
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Get a good attorney, wish I would’ve spend the extra money up front. Would’ve saved me thousands and lots of stress and time.
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No one wants to go through a divorce. It takes 2 for a marriage to work. Only 1 to wreck it. If counseling is a viable option, do it. If you have kids, I suggest family counseling. I did family and couples counseling. Like I said, one to wreck it. 6 affairs, a pregnancy, an abortion, a bankruptcy and I threw in the towel. I got the house, joint managing conservatorship. She walked. It’s tough on you and the kids. My kids are grown. They told me that we shouldn’t have stayed together as long as we did. Sit down with an attorney, maybe 3 attorneys. Get their insight on your situation. You are the expert for your situation. Good luck.
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If my ex and I were able to become friends in time, there is hope for all. It’s going on 2y since we had any difference. We just get along and it’s so easy this way. He actually tends to just leave the kids with me on his days often and I’m thrilled to have them as much as possible. But then if he needs them for anything we just mingle through it and have no issues. So plan on hard times… But things can come together.
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If there is no cheating or abuse going on I advise you to work it out. My marriage hasn’t been perfect, we have a daughter, we were separated because I wasn’t happy and I realized I was being selfish and just thinking of my own feelings so we moved back. Things still aren’t perfect but we said our vows and made a commitment. You just have to remember that. My daughter is older now and was married for almost 7 years and they had 2 girls, he decided to get involved with somebody he works with and divorced my daughter. Broke my daughter’s heart. Just please think about this before you make this decision.
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If you’ve tried everything else (relationship counseling etc) and you’re ready to explore divorce then I would also recommend seeking legal advice.
It sucks. Even if both parties want it. With or without attorneys. It is very hard.
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Took mine 5 months with kids, non contested with agreements on everything! Cost us 1k with a shared lawyer. It greatly varies on you personal situation and if you can agree, share an attorney and so on.
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Remember always that your kids are like sponges,they soak up everything they hear and it definitely creates more hurt and challenges that changes their lives forever. 
Don’t stay in a marriage that is hurting you. Don’t waste your life on someone that is not willing to stand by you. Please DO get an attorney.
There is no such thing as a nice divorce!!!
I was married 30 years and I thought he couldn’t screw me over again BUT he did. Took it all!
Remember:
An Ex is an Ex!!!
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My husbands divorce was miserable, his ex wife made it very hard even without kids. My divorce from my ex husband was a breeze. Took me 60 days and thats because you have to wait 30 days after you file. If you have any questions feel free to message me. No judgement and I’ll help as much as I can.
Mine took a year. I had a house and kids involved. My ex husband and I had a messy divorce but became better people in the end. We co-parent very well. my boyfriend and his girlfriend are part of our sons “family” it takes a villahe to raise a child.
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Please seek the Lord before deciding on divorce.
My heart is broken when marriages fail. I know there are very real very reasonable reasons for divorce, but please, only do it for the right reasons, when all else has really truly failed. Prayers for you.
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Consult with a lawyer. Everything varies state to state and even county to county. Length of marriage, employment status, children, reason for divorce all change the game
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That is very specific to the area you are in.
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Best option speak to.a.lawyer for a consultation. They are usually free
Find your self a good lawyer that can help you with the process
If it involves kids, consult with a lawyer! Even if you don’t retain them for the entire process, most lawyers have an hourly consultation fee where they will give legal advice. Mine was about to be a long drawn out process, but I decided to bite the bullet and retain my lawyer and it was the best decision ever. She looked out for me and my best interests so my ex didn’t try to pull anything on me (which he was trying to at the time). She also knew the best way to approach everything and my ex eventually agreed to mediation instead of fighting in court. She walked me through that entire process too and everything turned out great for both sides. Granted we were only married for a couple years, so the only thing we fought about was our daughter, so other factors might account for a lengthier process. But at minimum, it’s definitely worth consulting one.
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Been divorced twice.
- Find a attorney, right for you. Make sure they knows what he is doing, not all attorneys are qualified.
- Tell them what you want to leave the marriage with, house, 1/2 the savings, etc…
- He will draft the divorce decree and send to your husband’s attorney.
- If your ex agrees, he will sign and send back to your attorney.
- A court date will be set and a judge will rule.
***This, of course, is just a childless divorce. ** If children, get a very very good attorney and it “Could” be more complicated- just depending on your demands and whether your husband wants to be difficult.
Think of the 10 year as rule
Depends on if you have kids or not. If you have kids expect like six months worth of bullshit being drug out through court, at least $250 in cost if not more depending on state you’re in. If you have no kids it goes pretty fast
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Come to Ocala, Florida…starts at $99 here!
In some states you can file on your own through the clerk of court. I used a lawyer. Everything was uncontested, it cost $600 in my state.
Try and agree during mediation. We never met in the middle bc I wanted to move 1000 miles away. It cost me $30,000 but I was able to take my little girl and move away with all rights and he had supervised visits for 2 years
It lasted nearly 3 years and was extremely stressful and painful.
My divorce was just finalized in December 2019. We worked together, decided what we both wanted, he got a lawyer i did not. It was uncontested and it was $1600 ( 800 each) we are hoth happy with it. Saves from fighting if you can communicate and compromise when/if needed. Gets expensive if there is disagreements and lawyers involved
I just went with a paralegal to help me with paperwork etc. I wanted nothing from my (ex)husband. I also didnt have kids or anything jointly owned.
If you agree on all terms, go for dissolution it’s easy. If you two don’t agree, divorce is hard
if that s what you won t go for it not to bad you will fill better in the end😎
Just make sure your kids are safe n no girlfriend stalker can follow your kids. Fire proof the safety of your kids by also getting advice from the children’s court.
The first step in any divorce procedure is the filing of the divorce petition (form D8). Once the court send your spouse a copy of the divorce petition, you become the Petitioner and your ex-partner becomes known as the Respondent.
Divorce laws differ by country. Send me a pm if you are in the UK
Im following this as Im going thru the very same. Good luck to you!
The divorce process starts with the filing of a divorce petition (form D8), which is completed by the Petitioner and filed with a regional divorce centre.
The divorce petition must set out the reason for the divorce (why your marriage broke down), how you intend to deal with any children and any arrangement you’ve made for finances.
At this stage you’ll also need to pay the court fee of 00.000 (unless you are on a low-income or receive certain benefits, as you may be entitled to court fee remission).
When submitting your divorce petition, you will need to provide the court with your marriage certificate. If you were married abroad, the certificate must be translated into English before divorce proceedings can commence.
The D8 divorce petition is the main document in the divorce procedure and is therefore essential that you complete this document correctly.
- Acknowledgement of Service
The second stage of divorce proceedings involves the court sending a copy of the divorce petition form to your spouse with an acknowledgement of service form that they need to complete and return within 7 days.
The acknowledgement of service form confirms to the court that;
your spouse has received the divorce papers
they are happy with the reasons for divorce and wording used
whether they agree to the divorce or want to contest it
The court will not chase your ex-partner if they do not complete the Aos (Acknowledgement of service) within 7 days.
Its doesn’t have to be ugly if you don’t want it to be.
The two of you can come to an amicable agreement regarding things like kids and mutually owned assets- and file an uncontested.
But, if it does it get ugly, you need to have your ducks in a row, because it’s going to get hard, fast.
And if you have kids, unless there’s a damn good reason, you won’t be seeing them more than 60% of the time from here on out…
Expect things to turn ugly fast. You will see a side of your soon-to-be ex you never expected. Separate your accounts now. Change all your passwords and document everything he has said or done with date and time. The pettiest things will become a huge and expensive ordeal. You will need at least 10k in lawers fees to start you off.