Can my relationship be saved?

Holy drama. Good grief. Walk away.

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Wowā€¦you should be a Police investigatorā€¦your baby that youā€™re beast feeding hasnā€™t left your side for 4 hours in 2 years but yet you know all this about a home wrecker 45 mins away in the next town! How do you know all this detail? LoL
QUestions for advice on this site keep getting Drummer!

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These women have no respect for your relationship.
If he keeps saying no, thatā€™s great. But keeping them as online friendā€™s isnā€™t worth it, he needs to delete and block them to send the firm message of N.O. means No.

ā€¦ youre mad at him cuz some chick is thirsty??? Hes doing the respectful thing and telling her to back offā€¦ and you want to let your insecurities and a bimbo split yall up??

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Whoaā€¦too much drama!!

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Leave. It will only get worse. He saying those thing so u see them if he does get caught. He is saying other things to in person or through text and deleting them. Donā€™t let him make u feel crazy. End it and run it will not get better. Be strong you got this

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He left that phone there on purpose he wanted u to see him saying no to her. That was a setup babygirl he isnā€™t that dumb. Itā€™s time to leave his sorry ass. He is cheating donā€™t stay for that shit. Thereā€™s plenty of fish in the sea. U staying is giving him the greenlight.

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He seems to be enjoying the attention, then the cleaning up and gaslighting etcā€¦
Donā€™t you have any value of yourself and your child??
Hes playing you all.
Leave

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Ok Iā€™m going tbh here ā€¦bluntly honest. Heā€™s saying that in the texts you can see but I suspect he encourages them during calls etc. No women try THAT hard constantly if they know the man means a :100: no. You canā€™t blame a woman or man for not staying in their lane if your partner does not define that lane clearly. Iā€™m sorry but the issue I strongly suspect is with your man not the women.

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This just made my head hurt

Hes obviously not happy and wont choose you over themā€¦ move on find someone worthy

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Ok so I just wonder have you actually talked to and see why he canā€™t tell them no? So many questions for this as I went thru this my husband not being able to be stiff on hoes cause he too fucking nice men are dumb but he seems to be fishing and she taking bait by moving out sounds like therapy is needed for yā€™all but I wouldnā€™t say break up right away imo

He has a people cutting them off. Communicate that issue. Heā€™s doing what heā€™s supposed to be doing for the most part but not the most important part. Heā€™s more concerned about hurting their feelings than yours

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Ok heā€™s enjoying the attention heā€™s getting but his communication with them is clearly upsetting you and rightly so! He needs an ultimatum. Either shut them out completely or loose you!

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He shiuld nkt be chatting with any women besides family while he is with you. If he hasnt cheated already, he is getting ready to. He lies to you by archiving convos and hiding them from you. This guy is not committed to your relationship and I would look into ending it with him. You deserve a man who will be faithful to you! Youā€™re young and will find the right guy, dont waste years with this liar/deceiver. None of these women should have his number and they should all be blockedā€¦
but they arenā€™t are they? Dont chokse to be in a constant state of insecurity with this man, release yourself!

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Sounds like youā€™ve already left him, but still dating.
Also sounds like heā€™s a womaniser now, just because heā€™s saying ā€œmy woman wouldnā€™t like thatā€ on text doesnā€™t mean heā€™s not saying something different in person.

My bf gets the odd woman hit him up on FB, he shows me and letā€™s me reply to them and block them.

If your man doesnā€™t even tell you about a girl flirting with him, you have something to worry about.
Does he have Snapchat? Thatā€™s the most fucked up app to exist, itā€™s basically designed for cheaters cause texts ainā€™t saved and then you have no evidence of anything.

I would be telling him to find a new job or a new wife, if it was me.

Goodluck chick xx

Do you want to be with a man who has proven that he cannot be :100: trusted? Answer your own question.

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This gave me a headache trying to read it.

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I had to stop readingā€¦the drama is too much. OMG

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Way too long to readā€¦,Do you ,or anyone need all that drama?? I guess itā€™s a learning experience. You will look back and think what a waste of time

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Leave him and get a child support order while he is making good money

To long to read but the first few paragraphs are just drama , move on now girl

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Wow this was too long and hard to read itā€™s basically one huge sentence :joy: but girl I wouldnā€™t doubt if heā€™s cheated heā€™s still entertaining them. Youā€™ve communicated how you feel and after that heā€™s just disrespecting you at this point. Stop looking dumb by staying with him and move on. He shouldnā€™t even be talking to them, not sure why they even have his number or media. Even if heā€™s saying no heā€™s still replying to them. Itā€™s plain and simple. If you stay itā€™ll just keep happening so stop putting yourself thru that.

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Ur not wrong at all he is just letting it continues because he loves the attention they give him.
I would be completely done

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Hunnie dont let them trick you out your spot. He telling them whats up and they still trying. But he does need to stop entertaining them. Iā€™m telling you females bold. But you gotta be smarter then them. And it seem like your yelling when you talk to him. Talk calmly. And tell him how you feel. Then donā€™t say nutin else bout it. And move back in with that man. He really havenā€™t done any thing wrong but look. Thatā€™s human nature hunnie. Looks like He loves you to me. But he got to stop entertaining the. And he can find his own way to work.

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This whole thing made my eye twitch. I knew it was going to be a hot mess when you started with 4 years and ā€œ2 monthsā€ :roll_eyes:
You both need to grow up.

Heā€™s niceā€¦too nice. But he needs to grow up and cut the women off who are pursuing him. I honestly wouldnā€™t worry by the sounds of it. They seem pushy and he seems quite unable to say no or be firm.

I am so glad Iā€™m over 30. I stopped 1/3 of the way through. It was stupid and exhausting to read.

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These 2 things (below this) wouldā€™ve gotten him blocked on everything but my phone and LITERALLY only text me about my child. If I seen and if these females I wouldā€™ve blocked them and told himšŸ˜‚if itā€™s even slightly an argument or theyā€™re added back heā€™s single simple but thatā€™s just me tbh

ā€œhe screamed in my face saying Iā€™m a dumb b whoā€™s insecure whoā€™s trying to start a fightā€

ā€œIā€™m a shitty mom and girlfriend because Iā€™m no longer cooking and cleaning for him and packing his lunchesā€

My husband wouldnā€™t know a woman was flirting unless she bluntly asked to and for some reason men have a hard time cutting people out
My husband had to cut his female cousin and mom out bcz
Heā€™s cousin was controlling and asking childhood questions so she knew it was him and not me :roll_eyes:
Calling him up to 4am and Iā€™m like dude this is weird bcz she acts like a old friend not cousin and cut her loose.
I had to threaten calling the cops to get him to move out that got him to do it

He hasnt cheated he tells them no he talks about you. I agree if you feel that bad he should just delet them that being said are you sure u dont have even 1 dude on your fb that hasnt or isnt trying to hit it if u say no ima say you lien also shes not a home wrecker the loser men that cheat are

He could have ended the texts & phone calls right from the beginning if he wanted to & he didnā€™t - so thereā€™s your answer .

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I didnā€™t even read the whole postā€¦ Didnā€™t need to. If this was me & my other half, He would either put a complete stop to all communication with this female or I would leave

Okay, I Did read the Whole thing. :exploding_head:
I would suggest you stop breastfeeding, and get yourself a good job again. Take care of you and your baby. Get Child support from the Boyfriend. Make a life for you and your child. The Right man will come along, who is Totally committed to You and your child. If he canā€™t totally commit to you, after all this time, he isnā€™t capable of doing so.

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Your youngā€¦move on now, he is not worth your love or energy. He is not committed if he is texting others. Itā€™s your life tooā€¦choose happy!

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Iā€™m not reading all that but Iā€™m happy for you or sorry that happened

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Is this the kind of life you want live with for the rest of your life. What happen when he start working for $50 a hour? What happen when it becomes 10 more girl. My dear stress is the number killer please walk away from all stress because teust me woman to woman its not going to change it get worst as the years goes on.

Sooooo whatā€™s your question? Youā€™re living in a really, really bad soap opera. Your story is so convoluted, that I had to reread it multiple times and I still missed some of it. Iā€™m not going to address everything that youā€™ve gone into but Iā€™ll just cut it shortā€¦start weaning your child, stay with your grandparents if you can, until you can get it together, get a JOB, so that you have a home for you and your child, and leave that low-life SOB alone. Stop trying to make sense out of nonsense. Initially, your BF may have been an okay guy and you fell in love with him. He lost his job and you supported him during that time, but you also decided to have a child. Donā€™t get me wrong, but you managed to NOT conceive for a couple of years, so what was the reason that you decided to get pregnant before you guys had gotten back on your feet. Now, you find out that women are pursuing him and yes, heā€™s lying about it. Tell me, what makes you think that you can chase these women away when he doesnā€™t want them to go. Youā€™re fighting a losing battle. Accept your loss, chalk it up as a lesson learned and move on. Get some therapy, make some new friends, rest you body and your mind, donā€™t be so quick to get another guy and donā€™t let the babyā€™s father trick you back into a relationship cause he hasnā€™t changed, and finally, go back to school part time. Good luck!

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Run girlā€¦take your son and get awayā€¦or you willvalways be dealing with his infidelitiesā€¦evdn if he hasnt actuslly crossed the line with another woman, its just a matter of time!

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If you cant stay out of his phone yall dont need to be together. None of this other drama even matters.

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If tables were turned how would he feel ? If youā€™re important to him and if he feels youā€™re worth it he wouldnā€™t mess around with anything that could complicate or impede that.

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Chick is a gold digger and trash

This sounds like kid sh*t and both of you are to blame.

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As much as heā€™s not cheating he must be entertaining them for them to think its ok to message him like a girlfriend does

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1st he shouldnā€™t have accepted their number. He continues to communicate with them. A REAL man that loves you wonā€™t let this happened. He loves the attention. They say he hasnā€™t cheated cus he hasnā€™t physically. He is cheating by messaging. Like they say. If the tables are turned. He would not like it. Anything sneaky is bad. Period.

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This girl needs a friend no way Iā€™m writing this whole post to share !!!
Couldnā€™t finish reading lol

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Ex did this wound up catching them in bed

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This relationship is a no brainer give him the boot he is playing the field left and right and you are the loser.Think better about yourself.

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He likes the attention or he wouldnā€™t respond. Get a job, give the baby a cup and move on.

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So you donā€™t trust your partner even though you have read and heard him talk about you and turn down any other woman that hits on him but youā€™re still mad at him and broke up with him because heā€™s trustworthy yet woman keep talking to him and he keeps turning them down and you think you should control his life and who he talks to and who he hangs out even though he has done nothing wrong but you keep blaming him? Either you need to smarten up and appreciate the honest person you are with or let him go so he can have a happy life because you have lost your mind being even an ounce mad at him.

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How about my situation. Met this guy back in 2015 I planned on being single mingling a little bit and just living life. After 7 and 1/2 year relationship met this guy in 2015. In which he is a father of two kids boy and girl. Things were going good couple of red flags here and there I donā€™t think anything sexual about two years into the relationship but it has something to do with his phone something was fishy. In which he did blocked the girls and did what I have asked him to do. Remind you he lives in his place I live in my place. I did not trust them because to me thatā€™s cheating. So I took it upon myself that if I am going to trust him because I started to kind of accused him he said that we need to put it behind us and move on and not to bring it up. So I didnā€™t. So I started to trust him. I thought everything was good sex was wonderful relationship was wonderful I had no inkling feeling or thought in my head that he was doing something wrong. I even stopped going through his phone. Fast forward from 2015 the February of 2021. I get an anonymous message on Facebook. Saying to check my man. I was in shocked so in shock. So when I asked him and being with him for so many years I can tell when heā€™s lying so my instincts told me girl you know somethingā€™s up. So I did my research of course with some help of his peopleā€™s along with my peoples. To find out he was messing with a Teletubby that works at his job not the same Department but for some reason they cross paths. He denied it and I told him you know I will find out because I am a private investigator. So he says to me it was only one time and it was two months ago. There goes that Gut Feeling Again. One-time 2 months ago yeah okay evidently someone is Catching Feelings to make a fake Facebook and message me. So I did not believe him. It was my gut feeling. Did some research boom found her name a husbandā€™s name everything. So I ask them again one-time 2 months ago he said yes. So I called him say her name and he kept yelling saying just leave it alone take your anger out on me I took it as protecting her. So I hung up the phone proceeded to text the husband. And oh my God my heart thanked this man did not believe anything that was coming out of my mouth. I felt more bad about his situation than myself. Thank God I didnā€™t have kids with him. Anyways as I was talking to the husband the husband reminds me that I was at their baby shower three years prior yes rubbing her belly congratulating her. Now you know I was pissed. Husband is going to pull the phone records and everything because yeah I said my ex up on three-way and the husband heard it from his mouth because my ex admitted it to me but the husband just kept telling me that I was lying. Anywho everything was out in the open husband said that he was going to work it out with her I decided Iā€™m not dealing with the b******* with my ex. Because Iā€™m not wasting years of my life Iā€™m not know JLo but Iā€™m not ugly. Come to find out they both been f****** and his truck supposedly for seven to eight months and that supposedly it was nothing but them having sex when I know and feel deep down inside that it was her that sent me that message anonymously that means they were messing for a long time she caught feelings. Everything that my gut instinct was telling me and what I was feeling was true and secure the person that I was dealing with for almost six years to tell me Iā€™m going crazy I knew I wasnā€™t. So I guess everybody at his job just loves to f*** and have big orgies you got doctors f****** nurses housekeepers f****** nurses and secretaries just a big orgy. Fast forward to now he is with her and sheā€™s getting a divorce 12 and a half years a house Cars 2 kids you are leaving this man that put you on the pedestal that did not believe anything I said about you for him. I know people are like for him but I was with him. Itā€™s just you donā€™t know how a person is really like once you break up with them then they show their true colors then in your mind you start saying oh wow this is what happened oh man and he said this how could I be so blind and naive because you know what what happened in the past I put it behind me and I trust him again. He did say kiddingly I am going to get me a white girl that has good credit she got a good job and she has good credit. I used to say to him I was going to get me a sugar daddy just jokingly. The only hard part about The Break-Up was the disrespectfulness and the belittling me two other people that I was crazy when all along it was in my face and remind you he has custody of his two kids one boy and one girl fight learned to love them and now I donā€™t even hear from them. Now Iā€™ve moved on Iā€™m living life I have goals focusing on myself and my health and loving my family and friends thatā€™s always been there for me. So my advice to you is go with your gut instincts donā€™t let people play with your mind. Knowing that you know. And when you say something mean it and stick by it. You do not want to waste years. Donā€™t years wasted somebody else could have loved you and be there for you and be the person that you want them to be. Be independent get yourself a job figure it out be strong make him you know what donā€™t even make him feel like you donā€™t need him make yourself feel like you donā€™t need him. And just because you have kids with him does not mean you have to stay with him remember that. You will figure it out. I always do always have always will. Me and my son and heā€™s 20 years old no matter how old our kids are weā€™re always mom. Especially if you have family and friends that can help you thatā€™s a plus. Stay strong you got this!

My mom used to say ā€œno means yesā€ . Thereā€™s your answer. Heā€™s been cheating. Look, I worked with men all my life.
Most CHEATED. some didnā€™t! Young or older, they cheat.
Like dangling a piece of meat in front of them.
Unfortunately, for decent wives, there are sluts, women cast away, looking, taking easy prey.
They will play hardball with you.
Open season.
You need to feel good about yourself, in your own skin.
Itā€™s up to you really.
The ball is in your court.
You mentioned date night 3-4 times a week? Some women are lucky to get that at all.
You are young.
Youā€™ve got the power.
If you nag and give him a hard time, he will leave.
You have a baby. Thatā€™s your cryptonite.
Stay on course. Do your job.
Loving :heart: (lover) young wife and mother.
Talk to each other.
If you donā€™t, they win.
ā€œDO, YOUā€

It was like reading a really really long sentenceā€¦it didnā€™t make any sense

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TRUST AND RESPECT are 2 very important ingredients to any good relationship. If you have to snoop through his phone your not in a solid relationship. This is high school drama

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Thereā€™s no saving this. Because if he hasnā€™t cheated yet heā€™s about 2 text messages away from it. He needs the validation from other women, and thats the problem. He says heā€™s happy, but heā€™s clearly not satisfied and thatā€™s his problem, not yours. Let him go.

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Holy shit thatā€™s a lot to unpack :woman_facepalming:t2::flushed: first of all I would think that maybe itā€™s a coincidence that the first gal was texting him and that he was a gentleman by refusing her advances but 3-4 different broads all after him is just extremely suspicious. Heā€™s definitely saying something on the phone talking or video chat wise as well as in person for them to keep up there persistence. Because if he was truly telling them no and whatnot eventually theyā€™d get the hint and leave him be. This was like a really long novel that made no sense. I understand your upset and in a really bad place right now but it was so hard to read and comprehend. Also your sons 2 years old and you can start weaning him off the boob at 2 years or at least just let him have it at night or something. The recommended age for breastfeeding is until 2 so I think your good and maybe for your mental health sanity and time you may want to think about weaning or pumping and storing it and giving it in a cup or sippy. Personally if I canā€™t trust the man Iā€™m with and heā€™s treating me the way this guys treating you with the name calling etc Iā€™m done :white_check_mark: thereā€™s no back and forth or whatever if I have any inclination that heā€™s cheating or disrespecting me behind my back thatā€™s a huge deal breaker! I think you need to just take that time apart reevaluate yourself and your relationship and figure out what you really want because thatā€™s toxic af!

Dont have any more kids ā€¦

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I have to be daddy twice in one dayā€¦

  1. Have a ā€œchatā€ with a certain bitch whoā€™s after your man.
  2. He has all the benefits and none of the responsibilities of marriage. WHY?!?
  3. Your son is 2 and still breastfeeding, much less that often? Time for the baby to grow up a little.
  4. Did I mention verbally snatching a bitch bald to get her attention and having her leave your husband to be alone.
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Ummmm, I thought you were supposed to ask questions here, not write novels.

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I think you and your child deserve better. If he can not take your feelings into account and is willing to disrespect you and your child because he needs attention from other women them i donā€™t trust him. He should be putting his attention on work, your child and you. If he canā€™t do that then bye!

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Do you just talk without stopping because thatā€™s how your post reads. One long paragraph with nary a period until you get to the end. It makes it hard to follow. You need to get childcare, get a job and do your best to co-parent with him. That he initially chose his coworker over you was a huge red flag. Next time, donā€™t ever ask a man to choose. His BEHAVIOR tells you who he chosr more than anything he says.

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You are insecure and he is entertaining. You both need to grow up. Iā€™ve been on both sides of this scenario and Iā€™m single. Fix it and get over it or leave each other. That baby needs 2 parents not two children.

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Well, I can definitely tell youā€™re 22.

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Im not gunna lie I got about half way through before I got lostā€¦ā€¦ why are you Tryna end your relationship over someone else messaging when he is clearly stating no heā€™s not interested? (Thatā€™s as far as I got) can genuinely tell you are a young chicken

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Heā€™s entertaining them which is making them think they have a chance. Tbh youā€™re probably in for a lot more pain with this guy. It might be best to just let him go.

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How did she get his number, him.
Why didnā€™t he immediately block her?
He is guilty as hell, he should be loyal and honest but heā€™s full oh bullshit, you can make excuses for him until your dying day but wake up your being played and you need to dump his arse.
I wonā€™t go on but stop blaming the females itā€™s his doing.
First they wouldnā€™t have his number plus they would be blocked.

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Please get rid! Have some self respect :muscle: he obviously enjoys the attention from other women otherwise why is he even engaging with them? This isnā€™t a healthy relationship heā€™s narcissistic and manipulative. You deserve better! And so does your child he doesnā€™t need to be brought up observing a toxic relationship where the father has no respect for his mother. You deserve better :kissing_heart::heart:

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They probably feel sorry for him because it sounds like his woman is always giving him a hard time. You donā€™t trust him so move on.

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whenever a guy is pushy with me I tell my partner and remove them infront of him x

From the sounds of that Iā€™m not surprised heā€™s looking elsewhere youā€™re too much and over bearing. Sounds like the usual high school sweet heart relationship has just lost the spark

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Can my relationship be saved? - Mamas Uncut

Giiirl, leave himmmm

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Yeah hes fucking them dude. How dumb are you

Youā€™re way insecure. He tells these girls heā€™s got a woman. That should be enough for you. Go to therapy.

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So hard to read with no punctuation.

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divorce i guess?
you basically made it sound like you were doneā€¦ so likeā€¦ end it?

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Why is he talking to them if heā€™s happy??? He shouldnā€™t respond to their texts. Why do they have his #

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Sounds like heā€™s loving the women wanting himā€¦good thing is he tells them about youā€¦my worry would be how long till something dies happen.

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The best thing you could have and already have done is get out of that lease and under the same roof as him.
I really wish you enough dignity, love and self worth to please walk away from this person
They are not faithful.
A faithful person would not allow or behave on that way

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move on!!! DOGS DONT CHANGE THEIR SPOTS

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Get some therapy.talk to a therapist instead of posting this.

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You already moved into your grandparents, leave that relationship. Seems so effin unhealthy, for the both of you. If you have to check his phone, why even be in a relationship with himā€¦you canā€™t trust him and he obviously isnā€™t gonna put you first. Forget him. And if you do leave him, work on you-find yourself and your confidence again bc this ainā€™t it, at all. If you stay with him, you see what itā€™s always gonna be like, do you really wanna feel like that all the time? Smh

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He likes it. You can either tolerate it or leave. If you leave get child support.

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Get counseling, for you so you do NOT repeat this lapse in judgement. Stay single for awhile till you become courageous and develop self respect. Blessings and peace be with you

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Heā€™s cheating. The messages are decoys

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Please condense and resubmit in the morning. Holy shit.

Where there is smoke there is fire!!! wake up!!!

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Move on, wonā€™t be easy, but youā€™ll be glad you did. He likes to play games. Donā€™t waste your time. Good luck.

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Sounds like you are already done. Its great that he says he has a woman but him replying back to them and keeping them on his social medias is him still leading them on. People hardly care these days if someone has a spouse if you donā€™t shut them completely down they will keep trying. He should be cutting them completely off

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I would say bye bye!

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Iā€™m thinking heā€™s deleting some messages and linking up with them anyway!!

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Donā€™t waste any more of your time on him concentrate on your baby and co parents x

Are you serious? Kick his ass to the curb! He doesnā€™t deserve you or his family!

Its ok to have friends of opposite sex but I donā€™t think I would trust him, if he is disrespecting you like you sayā€¦

Girls donā€™t just jump on him begging him to see them. Heā€™s giving them signs and then teasing them saying he has you.

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Just end things with him and move on.

Im just trying to figure out how yall get date nights 2-4 times a weekā€‹:flushed:ā€¦ been married 10 yrs 3 kids and weā€™re lucky to get one a month :unamused::rofl:

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They both need a punch in their noses

I have always felt any one can have my leftovers! Be happy :smiley:

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My ex was like this and till this day his ex is still his friend lolā€¦ ugh it doesnā€™t get better I would definitely move on girl :sunglasses: donā€™t let his ways get in middle of your happiness n goals

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