Holy drama. Good grief. Walk away.
Wowā¦you should be a Police investigatorā¦your baby that youāre beast feeding hasnāt left your side for 4 hours in 2 years but yet you know all this about a home wrecker 45 mins away in the next town! How do you know all this detail? LoL
QUestions for advice on this site keep getting Drummer!
These women have no respect for your relationship.
If he keeps saying no, thatās great. But keeping them as online friendās isnāt worth it, he needs to delete and block them to send the firm message of N.O. means No.
ā¦ youre mad at him cuz some chick is thirsty??? Hes doing the respectful thing and telling her to back offā¦ and you want to let your insecurities and a bimbo split yall up??
Whoaā¦too much drama!!
Leave. It will only get worse. He saying those thing so u see them if he does get caught. He is saying other things to in person or through text and deleting them. Donāt let him make u feel crazy. End it and run it will not get better. Be strong you got this
He left that phone there on purpose he wanted u to see him saying no to her. That was a setup babygirl he isnāt that dumb. Itās time to leave his sorry ass. He is cheating donāt stay for that shit. Thereās plenty of fish in the sea. U staying is giving him the greenlight.
He seems to be enjoying the attention, then the cleaning up and gaslighting etcā¦
Donāt you have any value of yourself and your child??
Hes playing you all.
Leave
Ok Iām going tbh here ā¦bluntly honest. Heās saying that in the texts you can see but I suspect he encourages them during calls etc. No women try THAT hard constantly if they know the man means a no. You canāt blame a woman or man for not staying in their lane if your partner does not define that lane clearly. Iām sorry but the issue I strongly suspect is with your man not the women.
This just made my head hurt
Hes obviously not happy and wont choose you over themā¦ move on find someone worthy
Ok so I just wonder have you actually talked to and see why he canāt tell them no? So many questions for this as I went thru this my husband not being able to be stiff on hoes cause he too fucking nice men are dumb but he seems to be fishing and she taking bait by moving out sounds like therapy is needed for yāall but I wouldnāt say break up right away imo
He has a people cutting them off. Communicate that issue. Heās doing what heās supposed to be doing for the most part but not the most important part. Heās more concerned about hurting their feelings than yours
Ok heās enjoying the attention heās getting but his communication with them is clearly upsetting you and rightly so! He needs an ultimatum. Either shut them out completely or loose you!
He shiuld nkt be chatting with any women besides family while he is with you. If he hasnt cheated already, he is getting ready to. He lies to you by archiving convos and hiding them from you. This guy is not committed to your relationship and I would look into ending it with him. You deserve a man who will be faithful to you! Youāre young and will find the right guy, dont waste years with this liar/deceiver. None of these women should have his number and they should all be blockedā¦
but they arenāt are they? Dont chokse to be in a constant state of insecurity with this man, release yourself!
Sounds like youāve already left him, but still dating.
Also sounds like heās a womaniser now, just because heās saying āmy woman wouldnāt like thatā on text doesnāt mean heās not saying something different in person.
My bf gets the odd woman hit him up on FB, he shows me and letās me reply to them and block them.
If your man doesnāt even tell you about a girl flirting with him, you have something to worry about.
Does he have Snapchat? Thatās the most fucked up app to exist, itās basically designed for cheaters cause texts aināt saved and then you have no evidence of anything.
I would be telling him to find a new job or a new wife, if it was me.
Goodluck chick xx
Do you want to be with a man who has proven that he cannot be trusted? Answer your own question.
This gave me a headache trying to read it.
I had to stop readingā¦the drama is too much. OMG
Way too long to readā¦,Do you ,or anyone need all that drama?? I guess itās a learning experience. You will look back and think what a waste of time
Leave him and get a child support order while he is making good money
To long to read but the first few paragraphs are just drama , move on now girl
Wow this was too long and hard to read itās basically one huge sentence but girl I wouldnāt doubt if heās cheated heās still entertaining them. Youāve communicated how you feel and after that heās just disrespecting you at this point. Stop looking dumb by staying with him and move on. He shouldnāt even be talking to them, not sure why they even have his number or media. Even if heās saying no heās still replying to them. Itās plain and simple. If you stay itāll just keep happening so stop putting yourself thru that.
Ur not wrong at all he is just letting it continues because he loves the attention they give him.
I would be completely done
Hunnie dont let them trick you out your spot. He telling them whats up and they still trying. But he does need to stop entertaining them. Iām telling you females bold. But you gotta be smarter then them. And it seem like your yelling when you talk to him. Talk calmly. And tell him how you feel. Then donāt say nutin else bout it. And move back in with that man. He really havenāt done any thing wrong but look. Thatās human nature hunnie. Looks like He loves you to me. But he got to stop entertaining the. And he can find his own way to work.
This whole thing made my eye twitch. I knew it was going to be a hot mess when you started with 4 years and ā2 monthsā
You both need to grow up.
Heās niceā¦too nice. But he needs to grow up and cut the women off who are pursuing him. I honestly wouldnāt worry by the sounds of it. They seem pushy and he seems quite unable to say no or be firm.
I am so glad Iām over 30. I stopped 1/3 of the way through. It was stupid and exhausting to read.
These 2 things (below this) wouldāve gotten him blocked on everything but my phone and LITERALLY only text me about my child. If I seen and if these females I wouldāve blocked them and told himšif itās even slightly an argument or theyāre added back heās single simple but thatās just me tbh
āhe screamed in my face saying Iām a dumb b whoās insecure whoās trying to start a fightā
āIām a shitty mom and girlfriend because Iām no longer cooking and cleaning for him and packing his lunchesā
My husband wouldnāt know a woman was flirting unless she bluntly asked to and for some reason men have a hard time cutting people out
My husband had to cut his female cousin and mom out bcz
Heās cousin was controlling and asking childhood questions so she knew it was him and not me
Calling him up to 4am and Iām like dude this is weird bcz she acts like a old friend not cousin and cut her loose.
I had to threaten calling the cops to get him to move out that got him to do it
He hasnt cheated he tells them no he talks about you. I agree if you feel that bad he should just delet them that being said are you sure u dont have even 1 dude on your fb that hasnt or isnt trying to hit it if u say no ima say you lien also shes not a home wrecker the loser men that cheat are
He could have ended the texts & phone calls right from the beginning if he wanted to & he didnāt - so thereās your answer .
I didnāt even read the whole postā¦ Didnāt need to. If this was me & my other half, He would either put a complete stop to all communication with this female or I would leave
Okay, I Did read the Whole thing.
I would suggest you stop breastfeeding, and get yourself a good job again. Take care of you and your baby. Get Child support from the Boyfriend. Make a life for you and your child. The Right man will come along, who is Totally committed to You and your child. If he canāt totally commit to you, after all this time, he isnāt capable of doing so.
Your youngā¦move on now, he is not worth your love or energy. He is not committed if he is texting others. Itās your life tooā¦choose happy!
Iām not reading all that but Iām happy for you or sorry that happened
Is this the kind of life you want live with for the rest of your life. What happen when he start working for $50 a hour? What happen when it becomes 10 more girl. My dear stress is the number killer please walk away from all stress because teust me woman to woman its not going to change it get worst as the years goes on.
Sooooo whatās your question? Youāre living in a really, really bad soap opera. Your story is so convoluted, that I had to reread it multiple times and I still missed some of it. Iām not going to address everything that youāve gone into but Iāll just cut it shortā¦start weaning your child, stay with your grandparents if you can, until you can get it together, get a JOB, so that you have a home for you and your child, and leave that low-life SOB alone. Stop trying to make sense out of nonsense. Initially, your BF may have been an okay guy and you fell in love with him. He lost his job and you supported him during that time, but you also decided to have a child. Donāt get me wrong, but you managed to NOT conceive for a couple of years, so what was the reason that you decided to get pregnant before you guys had gotten back on your feet. Now, you find out that women are pursuing him and yes, heās lying about it. Tell me, what makes you think that you can chase these women away when he doesnāt want them to go. Youāre fighting a losing battle. Accept your loss, chalk it up as a lesson learned and move on. Get some therapy, make some new friends, rest you body and your mind, donāt be so quick to get another guy and donāt let the babyās father trick you back into a relationship cause he hasnāt changed, and finally, go back to school part time. Good luck!
Run girlā¦take your son and get awayā¦or you willvalways be dealing with his infidelitiesā¦evdn if he hasnt actuslly crossed the line with another woman, its just a matter of time!
If you cant stay out of his phone yall dont need to be together. None of this other drama even matters.
If tables were turned how would he feel ? If youāre important to him and if he feels youāre worth it he wouldnāt mess around with anything that could complicate or impede that.
Chick is a gold digger and trash
This sounds like kid sh*t and both of you are to blame.
As much as heās not cheating he must be entertaining them for them to think its ok to message him like a girlfriend does
1st he shouldnāt have accepted their number. He continues to communicate with them. A REAL man that loves you wonāt let this happened. He loves the attention. They say he hasnāt cheated cus he hasnāt physically. He is cheating by messaging. Like they say. If the tables are turned. He would not like it. Anything sneaky is bad. Period.
This girl needs a friend no way Iām writing this whole post to share !!!
Couldnāt finish reading lol
Ex did this wound up catching them in bed
This relationship is a no brainer give him the boot he is playing the field left and right and you are the loser.Think better about yourself.
He likes the attention or he wouldnāt respond. Get a job, give the baby a cup and move on.
So you donāt trust your partner even though you have read and heard him talk about you and turn down any other woman that hits on him but youāre still mad at him and broke up with him because heās trustworthy yet woman keep talking to him and he keeps turning them down and you think you should control his life and who he talks to and who he hangs out even though he has done nothing wrong but you keep blaming him? Either you need to smarten up and appreciate the honest person you are with or let him go so he can have a happy life because you have lost your mind being even an ounce mad at him.
How about my situation. Met this guy back in 2015 I planned on being single mingling a little bit and just living life. After 7 and 1/2 year relationship met this guy in 2015. In which he is a father of two kids boy and girl. Things were going good couple of red flags here and there I donāt think anything sexual about two years into the relationship but it has something to do with his phone something was fishy. In which he did blocked the girls and did what I have asked him to do. Remind you he lives in his place I live in my place. I did not trust them because to me thatās cheating. So I took it upon myself that if I am going to trust him because I started to kind of accused him he said that we need to put it behind us and move on and not to bring it up. So I didnāt. So I started to trust him. I thought everything was good sex was wonderful relationship was wonderful I had no inkling feeling or thought in my head that he was doing something wrong. I even stopped going through his phone. Fast forward from 2015 the February of 2021. I get an anonymous message on Facebook. Saying to check my man. I was in shocked so in shock. So when I asked him and being with him for so many years I can tell when heās lying so my instincts told me girl you know somethingās up. So I did my research of course with some help of his peopleās along with my peoples. To find out he was messing with a Teletubby that works at his job not the same Department but for some reason they cross paths. He denied it and I told him you know I will find out because I am a private investigator. So he says to me it was only one time and it was two months ago. There goes that Gut Feeling Again. One-time 2 months ago yeah okay evidently someone is Catching Feelings to make a fake Facebook and message me. So I did not believe him. It was my gut feeling. Did some research boom found her name a husbandās name everything. So I ask them again one-time 2 months ago he said yes. So I called him say her name and he kept yelling saying just leave it alone take your anger out on me I took it as protecting her. So I hung up the phone proceeded to text the husband. And oh my God my heart thanked this man did not believe anything that was coming out of my mouth. I felt more bad about his situation than myself. Thank God I didnāt have kids with him. Anyways as I was talking to the husband the husband reminds me that I was at their baby shower three years prior yes rubbing her belly congratulating her. Now you know I was pissed. Husband is going to pull the phone records and everything because yeah I said my ex up on three-way and the husband heard it from his mouth because my ex admitted it to me but the husband just kept telling me that I was lying. Anywho everything was out in the open husband said that he was going to work it out with her I decided Iām not dealing with the b******* with my ex. Because Iām not wasting years of my life Iām not know JLo but Iām not ugly. Come to find out they both been f****** and his truck supposedly for seven to eight months and that supposedly it was nothing but them having sex when I know and feel deep down inside that it was her that sent me that message anonymously that means they were messing for a long time she caught feelings. Everything that my gut instinct was telling me and what I was feeling was true and secure the person that I was dealing with for almost six years to tell me Iām going crazy I knew I wasnāt. So I guess everybody at his job just loves to f*** and have big orgies you got doctors f****** nurses housekeepers f****** nurses and secretaries just a big orgy. Fast forward to now he is with her and sheās getting a divorce 12 and a half years a house Cars 2 kids you are leaving this man that put you on the pedestal that did not believe anything I said about you for him. I know people are like for him but I was with him. Itās just you donāt know how a person is really like once you break up with them then they show their true colors then in your mind you start saying oh wow this is what happened oh man and he said this how could I be so blind and naive because you know what what happened in the past I put it behind me and I trust him again. He did say kiddingly I am going to get me a white girl that has good credit she got a good job and she has good credit. I used to say to him I was going to get me a sugar daddy just jokingly. The only hard part about The Break-Up was the disrespectfulness and the belittling me two other people that I was crazy when all along it was in my face and remind you he has custody of his two kids one boy and one girl fight learned to love them and now I donāt even hear from them. Now Iāve moved on Iām living life I have goals focusing on myself and my health and loving my family and friends thatās always been there for me. So my advice to you is go with your gut instincts donāt let people play with your mind. Knowing that you know. And when you say something mean it and stick by it. You do not want to waste years. Donāt years wasted somebody else could have loved you and be there for you and be the person that you want them to be. Be independent get yourself a job figure it out be strong make him you know what donāt even make him feel like you donāt need him make yourself feel like you donāt need him. And just because you have kids with him does not mean you have to stay with him remember that. You will figure it out. I always do always have always will. Me and my son and heās 20 years old no matter how old our kids are weāre always mom. Especially if you have family and friends that can help you thatās a plus. Stay strong you got this!
My mom used to say āno means yesā . Thereās your answer. Heās been cheating. Look, I worked with men all my life.
Most CHEATED. some didnāt! Young or older, they cheat.
Like dangling a piece of meat in front of them.
Unfortunately, for decent wives, there are sluts, women cast away, looking, taking easy prey.
They will play hardball with you.
Open season.
You need to feel good about yourself, in your own skin.
Itās up to you really.
The ball is in your court.
You mentioned date night 3-4 times a week? Some women are lucky to get that at all.
You are young.
Youāve got the power.
If you nag and give him a hard time, he will leave.
You have a baby. Thatās your cryptonite.
Stay on course. Do your job.
Loving (lover) young wife and mother.
Talk to each other.
If you donāt, they win.
āDO, YOUā
It was like reading a really really long sentenceā¦it didnāt make any sense
TRUST AND RESPECT are 2 very important ingredients to any good relationship. If you have to snoop through his phone your not in a solid relationship. This is high school drama
Thereās no saving this. Because if he hasnāt cheated yet heās about 2 text messages away from it. He needs the validation from other women, and thats the problem. He says heās happy, but heās clearly not satisfied and thatās his problem, not yours. Let him go.
Holy shit thatās a lot to unpack first of all I would think that maybe itās a coincidence that the first gal was texting him and that he was a gentleman by refusing her advances but 3-4 different broads all after him is just extremely suspicious. Heās definitely saying something on the phone talking or video chat wise as well as in person for them to keep up there persistence. Because if he was truly telling them no and whatnot eventually theyād get the hint and leave him be. This was like a really long novel that made no sense. I understand your upset and in a really bad place right now but it was so hard to read and comprehend. Also your sons 2 years old and you can start weaning him off the boob at 2 years or at least just let him have it at night or something. The recommended age for breastfeeding is until 2 so I think your good and maybe for your mental health sanity and time you may want to think about weaning or pumping and storing it and giving it in a cup or sippy. Personally if I canāt trust the man Iām with and heās treating me the way this guys treating you with the name calling etc Iām done thereās no back and forth or whatever if I have any inclination that heās cheating or disrespecting me behind my back thatās a huge deal breaker! I think you need to just take that time apart reevaluate yourself and your relationship and figure out what you really want because thatās toxic af!
Dont have any more kids ā¦
I have to be daddy twice in one dayā¦
- Have a āchatā with a certain bitch whoās after your man.
- He has all the benefits and none of the responsibilities of marriage. WHY?!?
- Your son is 2 and still breastfeeding, much less that often? Time for the baby to grow up a little.
- Did I mention verbally snatching a bitch bald to get her attention and having her leave your husband to be alone.
Ummmm, I thought you were supposed to ask questions here, not write novels.
I think you and your child deserve better. If he can not take your feelings into account and is willing to disrespect you and your child because he needs attention from other women them i donāt trust him. He should be putting his attention on work, your child and you. If he canāt do that then bye!
Do you just talk without stopping because thatās how your post reads. One long paragraph with nary a period until you get to the end. It makes it hard to follow. You need to get childcare, get a job and do your best to co-parent with him. That he initially chose his coworker over you was a huge red flag. Next time, donāt ever ask a man to choose. His BEHAVIOR tells you who he chosr more than anything he says.
You are insecure and he is entertaining. You both need to grow up. Iāve been on both sides of this scenario and Iām single. Fix it and get over it or leave each other. That baby needs 2 parents not two children.
Well, I can definitely tell youāre 22.
Im not gunna lie I got about half way through before I got lostā¦ā¦ why are you Tryna end your relationship over someone else messaging when he is clearly stating no heās not interested? (Thatās as far as I got) can genuinely tell you are a young chicken
Heās entertaining them which is making them think they have a chance. Tbh youāre probably in for a lot more pain with this guy. It might be best to just let him go.
How did she get his number, him.
Why didnāt he immediately block her?
He is guilty as hell, he should be loyal and honest but heās full oh bullshit, you can make excuses for him until your dying day but wake up your being played and you need to dump his arse.
I wonāt go on but stop blaming the females itās his doing.
First they wouldnāt have his number plus they would be blocked.
Please get rid! Have some self respect he obviously enjoys the attention from other women otherwise why is he even engaging with them? This isnāt a healthy relationship heās narcissistic and manipulative. You deserve better! And so does your child he doesnāt need to be brought up observing a toxic relationship where the father has no respect for his mother. You deserve better
They probably feel sorry for him because it sounds like his woman is always giving him a hard time. You donāt trust him so move on.
whenever a guy is pushy with me I tell my partner and remove them infront of him x
From the sounds of that Iām not surprised heās looking elsewhere youāre too much and over bearing. Sounds like the usual high school sweet heart relationship has just lost the spark
Giiirl, leave himmmm
Yeah hes fucking them dude. How dumb are you
Youāre way insecure. He tells these girls heās got a woman. That should be enough for you. Go to therapy.
So hard to read with no punctuation.
divorce i guess?
you basically made it sound like you were doneā¦ so likeā¦ end it?
Why is he talking to them if heās happy??? He shouldnāt respond to their texts. Why do they have his #
Sounds like heās loving the women wanting himā¦good thing is he tells them about youā¦my worry would be how long till something dies happen.
The best thing you could have and already have done is get out of that lease and under the same roof as him.
I really wish you enough dignity, love and self worth to please walk away from this person
They are not faithful.
A faithful person would not allow or behave on that way
move on!!! DOGS DONT CHANGE THEIR SPOTS
Get some therapy.talk to a therapist instead of posting this.
You already moved into your grandparents, leave that relationship. Seems so effin unhealthy, for the both of you. If you have to check his phone, why even be in a relationship with himā¦you canāt trust him and he obviously isnāt gonna put you first. Forget him. And if you do leave him, work on you-find yourself and your confidence again bc this aināt it, at all. If you stay with him, you see what itās always gonna be like, do you really wanna feel like that all the time? Smh
He likes it. You can either tolerate it or leave. If you leave get child support.
Get counseling, for you so you do NOT repeat this lapse in judgement. Stay single for awhile till you become courageous and develop self respect. Blessings and peace be with you
Heās cheating. The messages are decoys
Please condense and resubmit in the morning. Holy shit.
Where there is smoke there is fire!!! wake up!!!
Move on, wonāt be easy, but youāll be glad you did. He likes to play games. Donāt waste your time. Good luck.
Sounds like you are already done. Its great that he says he has a woman but him replying back to them and keeping them on his social medias is him still leading them on. People hardly care these days if someone has a spouse if you donāt shut them completely down they will keep trying. He should be cutting them completely off
I would say bye bye!
Iām thinking heās deleting some messages and linking up with them anyway!!
Donāt waste any more of your time on him concentrate on your baby and co parents x
Are you serious? Kick his ass to the curb! He doesnāt deserve you or his family!
Its ok to have friends of opposite sex but I donāt think I would trust him, if he is disrespecting you like you sayā¦
Girls donāt just jump on him begging him to see them. Heās giving them signs and then teasing them saying he has you.
Just end things with him and move on.
Im just trying to figure out how yall get date nights 2-4 times a weekā:flushed:ā¦ been married 10 yrs 3 kids and weāre lucky to get one a month
They both need a punch in their noses
I have always felt any one can have my leftovers! Be happy
My ex was like this and till this day his ex is still his friend lolā¦ ugh it doesnāt get better I would definitely move on girl donāt let his ways get in middle of your happiness n goals