Can step parents get visitation?

How many stepmoms have visitation w their stepchildren??? Is it strange to have?? My bf of 10 yrs is moving out and taking his boys; he signed an agreement w me so I can visit w the boys I have helped raise they are 12 and 19

122 Likes

I think it’s nice if you can do that I’ve never been in this situation the 19 yo is considered an adult so I don’t think would need court orders etc?

8 Likes

If they want to see you and you raised them, no it is not weird. You have been a motherly figure to them for 10 years.

17 Likes

I’m still close with my ex boyfriends daughters, even the ones who are under 18, but it’s difficult to see my stepsons since they’re younger.

Im pretty sure yes. I know someone who gets visitation with their (ex) step children

My husband still sees his exes daughter and we’ve been together for ten years. She’s not biologically his but he helped raise her and helps support her still. She’s one of my kids too. I pick her up for school everyday and take her back home when schools out, and my kids call her their sister. It’s not weird at all🤷🏼‍♀️

38 Likes

My friend and her wife of 5 years got divorced and they got joint custody. The children were her wife’s from a previous relationship, but my friend had been there primary caregiver since the divorce.

The oldest is 19 and can make their own choice. As for the other child, as long as dad still allows it. Signing a piece of paper doesn’t mean anything. It won’t hold up in court if he decided to not let you see them anymore. Stepparents have been known to get visitation after a divorce, but it the courts eyes a stepparent and a bf/gf are not the same thing.

5 Likes

I have an almost 20 year old who continued to spend summers with me for six years, then moved to live near me when he graduated. Not all kids are lucky enough to get that kind of relationship with their “not” parent. If you have it…embrace it.

9 Likes

I kept mine I’ve raised them since 6 months and a year and a half. He left 6 years later. I dont think there any different than my own children and filed for gaurdenship and my divorce and there adoption is almost complete. I dont think that it’s strange at all.

12 Likes

I still see my bonus kids

2 Likes

I love it! You raised them for so Long!

When me And my bf broke Up, my daughter was 2.5 years old. She Called him dad. At first hè thought it was better for her to stay away buy after 4 months She still missed him & hè missed her So hè wanted to talk to me about seeing her, have a visitation and I was all For it. They loved each other before hè & I where a couple. I always said she choose her own father. We ended Up back together (its been 7 years since) but even it that didn’t happen, I would have them have there time together as much as possible. I could not have Done a better job then she did, choosing him as her father, i rather had him in her life alone as her dad then not at all.

4 Likes

My dad has passed and I live with my step mom she is like my real mom i am 23 moving out but I’ll take her over my bio mom any day

6 Likes

The 19 year old Is of legal age and is considered an adult unless hes disabled and his dad is his legal guardian ordered by a court to take care of him. The other one I think u can but idk.

Na you got no rights smh 🤦

2 Likes

My guy still sees his step kids it’s not in writing but they see each other every other weekend same as his son

1 Like

Unfortunately it’s just a piece of paper that wont hold up in court, so if he decides to not let the 12 yr old see you, theres probably not much you can do since you aren’t legally married, ( I was in a similar situation in the past) you legally have no rights to the kids… However the 19 yr old can make his own decisions and can see you of he so chooses… I hope everything works out…

3 Likes

I would absolutely want visits with mine if anything happened. I don’t think it’s weird at all

2 Likes

My daughter’s ex step Mom still takes her for weekends a few times a year. She gets to see her brother and sister when she’s there. I think its up to the individual and think its wonderful that you still want to be in their lives. Legally, you won’t have a leg to stand on if your ex says you can’t see 12yr old but he has no say in what the 19yr old does.

6 Likes

I hope so. They’ve been your babies for 10 years :frowning:

1 Like

I know one step-dad who has primary custody of his step child. Kid gets to go visit their mom every second weekend.
Know another step dad who gets his step kid kid every second weekend. So visitation is perfectly reasonable.

1 Like

My kids father and I decided that if we split we would share custody of all the kids, including my son who isn’t biologically mine. We split temporarily back in 2020 for 3 months and we did just that. Split the cost of things down the middle, we both had visitations (him for our daughter and me for our son) we worked things out and are back together but if we split again then we will do the same. I love my son with my whole heart and I’ve been raising him full time for 3 years now. I wouldn’t just walk out on him. So it is normal! It just depends on the people involved :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

1 Like

No, step parents do not have visitation right.

You don’t have the legal right, but I think that it’s beautiful that you are choosing to stay in their lives!

14 Likes

You weren’t their step-mother. You were just their dads girlfriend. Step-parents don’t have legal rights anyway. The contract he wrote up is a nice gesture but it’s just that. It can’t be legally enforced. A judge won’t even see your case if he doesn’t follow it. Besides the 19yo is a legal adult. Neither you or his father can make him spend time with you. On the other hand he can’t prevent him from seeing you either.

12 Likes

Well you nor the 19 year old need his permission. But; my parents split at 14. My “dad” isn’t my bio dad. My mom was forced to let us see him (because we wanted too). I’m 25 and he’s still active in my life. It’s never been weird for me as the child.

1 Like

I do! Bonus children will always continue to have a place in my life…I didn’t divorce them …I divorced their dead beat delinquent father…who chose to love things other than the amazing children…his loss not mine!

1 Like

My ex and i divorced a few years ago. He has an older daughter from a previous relationship. I have monthly visitation with her. He has not seen any of his kids since before our divorce finalized

1 Like

My state has step parents rights so should that happen I can legally have visitation by court order. But I was never cut off from my step mother just because her and my dad divorced so I would say no, it’s not weird at all

Been there… Most painful… Hugs :heartpulse:

Unfortantly step parents have no rights. I have a arrangement with my kids dad my oldest isnt bioloagy his but after we spilt he is still his father in everyones eyes and he treats both boys the same and has regular contact with both. The court order we have only regards to our youngest.

I don’t believe you have a legal right. Now the 19 year old can choose to spend time with you if he wants. The younger one you would have to ask his father if you could have visitation but it isn’t guaranteed to you. I can’t imagine the pain you are going through as a caregiver of these boys. I helped raise my ex’s kid from baby on and when we split it was hard to let go

I have seen step parents get full custody of their girlfriends children before.

2 Likes

Step parents can receive visitation rights in a divorce…signed by a judge in the custody agreement.
Step parents don’t have any legal rights to the children and can’t make any decision making, but it can be ordered by a judge that the step parent is allowed to see the step children on a regular basis. Just as any visitation schedule.

Mostly, it depends on how long the step parent was in the children’s lives, the relationship with the step parent, and if also agreed upon by the biological parent.

2 Likes

I think that’s great. I love my step daughter and if the dad and ever split, I’d still like to see her. :heart:

3 Likes

You divorce wives not children

3 Likes

I worry that if something happened to my hubby that my daughters mom would not let me see her anymore. Or worse that she might not want to see me anymore. It’s terrifying.

1 Like

Hope he keeps is word…I raised my exs daughter as my own for 3yrs her bio mom lost her rights except for visits which she only managed to make 3 of in 3yrs she was with me 24/7 I financially supported her being her babysitter along with everything else he cheated and became abusive and he won’t let me have anything to do with her

3 Likes

I don’t know about rights but as a child what witnessed many divorces I know that some step parents are amazing. My father (not my biological father) is my dad. I have always considered him my dad. My mother and him got together when I was 3. They had two children together afterwards. They divorced when I was in 2nd grade. He has never treated me any different. I am 34 and they have been divorced for 27 years. I have a wonderful relationship with him to this day. My children call him papa and we have weekly family dinners at his house. He has been one of the truly solid things in my life and I would have been devastated to lose him. Having a relationship with a star parent after the relationship ends is not weird.

4 Likes

I think you are the kindest person. The 19 year old can be in contact with you whenever he wants to. I’m sure arrangements can be made to see the 12 year old. I’m not sure how a contract figures into the mix.

1 Like

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:step parent rights? Thats hilarious

5 Likes

Step parents do have rights. The 19 year old is of age and can see you whenever he pleases. If he signed an agreement seems like he doesn’t mind you seeing them anyways.

3 Likes

Not strange at all, especially if you helped raise them! Step parents don’t get enough credit at all, the good ones anyway. After my dad and his ex wife divorced I talked to her still. Heck 2 out of the 3 wives he had I still talk to. They became family and I am sure they felt the same since they continued to talk. It’s a special thing for steps to have a relationship. Be very very grateful that he was willing to sign that agreement as he could have said no and there isn’t much you could have done about it, at least the younger one. The 19 yr old doesn’t have to have permission from Dad.

I think that’s a good idea for step parents and kids. Kids need good role models.

I still see my stepdaughter, her bio gma got custody after our divorce but she let’s me come get her for weekends when I can

1 Like

Nope. Even signing that doesn’t have any legality

The 19 year old is of age to see you on his own. In most states I believe 12 is of age to stand in front of a judge and decide where they want to live. You can speak with a lawyer because I’m not sure if that would include step parents.

1 Like

I think it depends on your state. My step mother didn’t have any “legal” rights to me and my full brother after she divorced my father, but she was the mom of my other 3 brothers and my mother and she always made sure we were able to spend time together so…unfortunately I think you just have to have cooperative parents. You divorce your spouse but you don’t divorce your children or step children.

2 Likes

To everyone saying step parents don’t have rights, my friend got full custody of his step daughter along with his daughters. Guess it all depends on the situation and the judge.

Hope he keeps his words of not talk to their mom if she isn’t in the picture you should of adopted them

If he is a man of his word then nothing to worry about. The 19 yr old is mature enough to make up his own mind.

I have a friend who has visitation with her former step son. She raised him for 10 years and she is his mom. She has him during the week and dad has weekends.

If the parent agrees sure. If not, there’s nothing one can do.

I think you have every right to see the boys you helped raise! I bet they want to continue to see you too!