I would recommend therapy. If he’s really willing to fix things then he should be okay with going. You guys need to communicate, I don’t know what it is but there’s something there that he’s not getting. Either not getting or he just likes attention. Either way, you need to come together & figure it out to move on. It’s really hard to move on after cheating, it’s a big trust issue. I would advise listening to the activities & advice the therapist gives. If you don’t go to therapy, maybe sit down once a week and talk about things that bothered you. He needs to be working this, he needs to be able to be okay with doing whatever it is you need to feel secure. Ask him questions, why he felt the need to cheat, what he got out of it, etc. relationships are all about trust so you need to figure out the root of the situation and then work upwards. Also, congratulations on the baby! Please also know that just because you’re having his baby, does not mean you need to stay if he continues this. Remember you deserve to be happy, and you’re baby needs you to be happy & healthy. Even if that means splitting custody and spending time separately
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Can you get over cheating?
Leave & do not look back seriously
You will never get past it as long as you are with him
There’s always a way if you want to leave. It may take time and preparation on your part but you can do it. Try saving some money. If you can’t do it now wait until tax season and if your baby is here this year you can file them on your taxes and use that money to start your own life. My experience is men like that won’t change and you will waste so much time trying to get him to. Best wishes to you and your child.
YOU DESERVE MORE! enough said.
It is more important for a child to see their mother happy, than it is to be in a “complete” home.
honey… just go. many young women think the same thing & find a man worth more than gold. a step daddy is fine! especially one who’d never hurt you the way you have been by him. that kind of betrayal isn’t something you can get past.
if he really cared & loved you so much he wouldn’t have in the first place. i’m so sorry.
He’s not going to change and staying will make your mental health even worse.
You are so young and the world has so much more to offer you than assholes like him. Leave and don’t look back!
Leave him for good. He will never change. He knows he can get away with it cause you will always come back. You don’t need to be together for your child to have a father. If he wants to be involved he can put in the effort and be involved. It’s not going to benefit your child to have a “complete home” if he is constantly cheating and you don’t trust him. Apply for government assistance and get a job so you can be stable without his help.
Your baby can still have their father in their life even with our you being together! He just has to make the effort.
At this point, the best thing for you (and the baby) is to get a place of your own and move on. If he’s been cheating your whole relationship, I very highly doubt he’s going to change.
Don’t go back to him
Why would you want to? He’s shown his true colors. Time to put on some big girl panties and take control instead of being taken advantage of.
He’s a jerk. If this Is the future you truly want them sure. Im sure there is some way you could tolerate the relationship, but your mind will eat at you
Red flags honey, get the fuck out of there. You are too young to be dealing with all that, and now you’ve got a kid to model healthy relationships for. He is not the one. That’s too much cheating, and too much disrespect. If you’re gonna try to forgive cheating you forgive one or 2 times and go from there. The ENTIRE time though? No no no that’s a big red flag. Please do yourself and your baby a favor and leave. That guy is no good, and you don’t want your baby learning to put up with that or be that. Go find a man that you would be proud of your baby bringing home or being.
He won’t change and your child deserves a happy home and to see his mom happy.
Your baby will never have a complete he as long as you’re unhappy
move out and tell him bye and that you are ending things with him. girl you dont need that from him. you can find some one that will not be a cheater
and you do not need him! Go find a shelter or something. You will survive without him. You will build without him. YOU DO NOT NEED HIM.
He doesn’t love or respect you, Sis. Move on.
Your waaayyy to young to attach yourself to a cheater. Your child can still have both parents in their life and you not be with him.
Y’all are YOUNG! unless that baby changes his mind set, he will continue to do this. Kids yalls age have A L O T of growing up to do, and as rumor has it, it takes malea much longer than females to do so. However this goes, please do right by you and baby.
He’s a POS! You and your baby don’t need him. I’m sure there’s another man in this world who would love to take his spot and be a BETTER father than his unfaithful ass. He seems very toxic to you, and it’s time you start fresh and have a new beginning with your new baby that’s coming soon!
You may get through it but you won’t get over it. It’s like PTSD and will hit you from time to time.
If he won’t show you his phone he’s still doing it… kinda the same spot for myself though unfortunately
No. He doesn’t love you and your baby will not be better off in a toxic environment. People don’t change (without a shit ton of effort in their part) and you deserve a happy loving non-codependent relationship. It’s hard to break the cycle but you can do it!
RUN! been there done that girly- not worth it- I stayed cause I wanted the family also but it just got worse the final year of my relationship with my son’s dad one of us was always sleeping on the couch I didn’t wanna even be touched by him.
You may get over it but he’ll never quit doing it.
never depend on a man . youl be better off out of there. once a cheater always a cheater.
I agree with others. He isn’t going to change. If he has nothing to hide then he would let you see his phone and do everything to prove to you that you are what he wants. Get a job and file for child care with the state after the baby arrives. Apply for other assistance that will help you get out of that situation. You can get out of this! Some people just have no morals and can’t be faithful. You can and will find better.
If he won’t let you see his phone after all he’s put you through, he’s still cheating. I’d rather my kid be raised in a house with a Father not in the home, rather than a lying, cheating jerk! (Not to metion, a person who may pass on STD’s to you!) Respect yourself, get your life together and get the hell out. You deserve better!
Get yourself out of the situation of having to depend on him, whatever that may take.
He will never change, you need to leave and find someone who will treat you right.
You are SO young. Go live your life and find someone who sees your worth.
No matter how much you think you NEED a man, you DO NOT.
Get your ass out. There are shelters for women. They help you get a job a place a car. Even help with first months rent and security deposit. It’s not easy but you really NEED to get out.
First figure out if you want to forgive and stay with him (not best option but that’s my opinion) or if you are truly done. If you are done, figure out living situation, can you stay there and not have him affect your mental health and physical health/pregnancy? Do you have any friends you could roommate with? Start researching state assistance for single moms! There is a lot out there! Apply for everything! Also look for a job you can do while pregnant (telemarketing/something not physical) and start feeling more independent! It sounds like a toxic situation, if he’s been doing it fir 2 years, hes not going to stop! Do what is best for you and your baby! Dont stay with him cause you want the “family” cause you child will grow up in a toxic home
I’ve been there and trust me it will be better for your child if yous two are not together cause u will fall into the same trap that your mum did when she picked her boyfriends over u , u really want that for your child , I know he is the child’s father but I doubt u will ever completely trust him again and that will cause arguments again and again and that’s something u don’t want a child having to listen to so I would get out now
Mental health is a very precarious place I would suggest that you go find you a counselor that you talk about your life and make yourself yourself safe place
Focus on you and the baby
Having a positive role model is more important that having a “complete” home. Your daughters will learn how to be treated by watching how he treats you. This is how your sons will learn to treat women. Want better for them and yourself.
Get the hell out of there! He will continue to do it, because you took him back and you’ll take him back again unless you decide to stop letting him take you for a mug. For yours and the kids sake, Get out now
Go to a shelter, they have extra resources locally that can help you
I couldn’t get over it. Tried to make it work for 4 years and I’d still throw it in his face. Toxic, I know. But I couldn’t get over it.
Get a job!!! Save every dollar in a month you’ll have enough money to get a place. Go start with a friend for a month or 2… do not go back to that, you and your baby deserve better than him. He’s already showed you who he is as a person and a partner. Why stay? Not healthy place for a child…
Just controlling you. You can do better. Shelters in place are there to help and teach. Get one and get counciling . You’ll be glad you did.
You staying, is choosing your boyfriend over your child. Don’t follow in your mom’s footsteps. Leave and build a stable life for you and your child. He will continue his behavior and it will impact your child’s life.
He’s still doing it. So unless you’re going to be okay with him still doing it… move on.
There are SO many affordable options for single moms!! You don’t need him! And a “complete” home isnt a reason to stay your baby doesn’t need to see him treat you like shit and lie and cheat and make you cry that isn’t healthy. There is no “getting over it” you need to find your worth, believe in yourself and leave
You will be miserable for a very long time.
Too late for an abortion?
You can have a complete home, without the father present. You don’t have to be in the relationship
He sounds like a narcissistic sociopath you need to get the heck out of that situation all together! Your child will learn bad habits from him .thete are woman shelters that will help you get on your feet .
Young lady life is a learning lesson either you learn or you’re the lesson. A baby not gone change him. Move on the door is right THERE. He’s young and enjoying life. Your trying to settle down. He’s doing what all young men do at his age: Experiment with life as a requirement for growing up. You will regret it for sure if you stay. JUST more heartache and pain.
Leave!!! He won’t change and you won’t forget I had an extremely similar situation if you’ve been doing it since the beginning and while you’re pregnant pregnant hes never gonna change If you wait and then you have the baby it’s gonna become harder and then you’re really going to be stuck
Cheat once cheat twice know ur worth and u can do this
There are places that help single mothers. Don’t use that as an excuse to stay hun. Staying in that relationship is not going to do any good for your child or yourself. You KNOW that. Please get out before you give birth, so you’ll be settled by the time the baby comes
Don’t walk, run. Run far far away from him. He ain’t your soulmate. Move on and look for the man that truly loves you and respects you. He’s out there.
If you’re not too far along maybe consider abortion you seem miserable and he seems like he’s still cheating bringing a kid into the situation is only going to further make you feel stuck to him… if you still want a baby move into a homeless shelter or rent a room to get away from him and start there saving money and stockpiling for the baby.
Girl I’ve been in your shoes, 18 with a baby, POS baby daddy, no role models. For starters you and your baby deserve better. This next journey is going to be hard, but you’re going to have to figure it out honey, a roof over your head, a way to get food, a car, a job. You can only depend on yourself. And your baby can only depend on you.
There are situations where you can get over and past cheating… and then theirs situations where he’s just a man who will never be satisfied in monogamy. Don’t waste your time and heart break. Move on, find a man that will show your baby how a man is supposed to act. And just because you guys split doesn’t mean he won’t have his dad as well.
Adoption is an option. The child is better off not having a dad if the dad is a horrible person and sows nothing good into the child’s life. Pick yourself up and get out. You can do it. Thousands of women do it all the time. Take care of yourself and your baby. If you don’t want the child, give it up for adoption. Many women would love to have a baby and can’t, for one reason or another. You’ve got this. Stop depending on such a low life.
Girl you are pregnant. Go sign up for any and all assistance you can get. Fill out the applications for apartments and everything. You can do it on your own. It would be much worse for your baby to grow up and see how unhappy mommy is. He can still be dad just put it all on paper and thru court to make it official. Get out of this toxic relationship ASAP. AND focus on you and the baby.
Girl get out u deserve better
Pretty much with everyone here. I do not stand for cheating. Hubby knows if he ever does, it’s over and he says the same for me.
It’s a personal decision whether or not your willing to look past it and move forward and repair your relationship! Personally for me cheating is a absolute deal breaker! I won’t and can’t move forward with a cheater!!!
Leave. Your child doesn’t need their parents together but they do need their parents to be happy to take care of them
No no sista. He know u will forgive n thats why he doing it. Leave him for ur own sanity x
He won’t LET you see his phone? When he has a history of cheating and you’re pregnant with his child? Seriously? Get fucking rid of that sack of shit before he ruins you or that baby. Is that A roll model you want your baby to have?!
Live in your car so DHS will help you get an apartment or go to a shelter. Call churches etc… just because you live with him doesn’t mean u have to take him back. Keep saving.
You can if the other person attempts to try and be honest and work through it and be faithful. That is not what’s happening here tho. Move on find a man that respects you and values you.
If he’s been doing it that long, it’s a lifestyle for him, not just a one time mistake. The only solution is to leave.
You need god to help you threw this he has lifted me up from these times myself and saved me when I though I was doomed with no way out !! He literally made door where their was only walls !! Pray go to church talk to a councilor you will find the support you need mentally and physically I pray you find peace in your crazy life
Can never get over it. It’s unforgivable!
I would leave your better off without him he hasn’t matured yet.
Trust is earned. You are strong enough to choose to stay with him or raise your child on your own. Figure out what you feel, think, want, if the father is serious about being there for your baby he will be, but you choose to forget & forgive or stay with him. This about your feelings that he was not thinking of until something important came up. Now go enjoy this pregnancy its a wondrous time for you and baby… You’ll find your way.
You never gonna get over it, hate to break it to you.
I’m kind of in the same position I am 35 weeks pregnant have a son and step dsughtet eith him just found out hes been looking at escorts anf porn and more our whole relationship and trying to meet with women and probably has and coming home lieinh to my face I’m stuck now because I live with him snd stopped working to finish my pregnancy biggest regret of my life. Move on as soon as you can find a way out! They will never change never could understand how a man can cheat and then come home and act as if nothing happened and still sleep with you the same night they cheat as if nothings going on…m
You have 2 options. Accept things for how they are because it will never change. Or leave and find the life that makes you happy. I’m saying this bluntly because I chose to stay…and it never goes away. You will never have what you thought it was. I wish I had been strong enough to leave and never look back. But I was also pregnant and scared. I now have an amazing 3 year old son who has to live with parents who hate each other. Our choices dont just affect us.
I never did get over my ex husband affair . I was so bitter and hurt and betrayed . I finally walk out and looking back now I am soooo glad I left .
A broken home is better than a toxic home. ( from a child who grew up in a toxic home)
You deserve better. Get you a new man
Stay broke up, adopt baby out.
A baby isn’t going to make him faithful. Trust when I say that. He will keep doing it. You need to know your worth and leave.
Leave. Simple. Don’t allow yourself to tolerate the situation, tolerance isn’t love and you’re showing him that you don’t have self respect so he will never respect you and never has either.
Waaaay too young, eventually the relationship will deteriorate anyways, just walk away and co-parent. You don’t need him to love you for him to love your kid! worst mistake you can make is staying with someone for a kid, you’re setting that kid up for failure already by staying!
Get out n start a new life u deserve it…dnt stay n regret u didn’t leave n made urself happy while he’s out messing around…
No not really because chances are they won’t stop
Honestly if he is only sexting and not physically meeting these women it may just be a type of addiction. Maybe you should recommend counseling. Cheating is cheating regardless and that may be an option if you want to stay. However if he is not willing to change he may never and you will have to leave or live with that!
Move in with a friend or look for some help with women’s shelter
Looks like you have 3 choices:
- stay and always know he’s going to be unfaithful and put his lust for other women before your relationship. If a committed relationship is important to you, he isn’t your guy.
- leave and learn to take care of yourself (and child). Make some serious plans to become self sufficient and independent.
- declare an open relationship. What’s good for him can be good for you. Some, I guess, like these types of relationships but if you don’t, go back and reference choice #2.
You need therapy, for you & your baby. You had a rough childhood. But you definitely do not need to stay with him & continue enduring the pain that he’s inflicted. You are very well able to get your own place & single parent. So many ppl have done it & you can too. It will be hard but you are worth it.
You and the baby deserve better.
You have options. There are so many programs out there to help you. You are 18yo, so young, you have your whole like ahead of you. I say this with tough love, leave him and go to therapy. he will never change. The only thing that matters is your mental health and that baby. So what if they don’t grow up in a “complete home” at least you will not normalize a shitty relationship for your child.
Girl, you need to get you two sturdy legs to carry yourself forward and out of that relationship! Go back to school, get a part time job. Start finding your niche. Do things that bring you happiness and slowly you will move past this heartbreak and grow stronger for yourself and new child. Start looking at this child as a wake up! This baby is going to depending on YOU to protect and care for… you need to be dependent on yourself, sweetie! Get back into living life! Stop living for some douche that has no respect for you! Recreate yourself and be ambitious! It’s going to be a long hard road but you have to do it cause you CAN NOT GIVE UP! I believe in you and if you need someone to talk to and help boost, I’m available. Good luck!
I got pregnant at 21. Immediately my then boyfriend (now husband) put our child first, he got us our first home and has always provided. We’re almost 29 now and he still puts our family first. Your boyfriend sounds very immature and manipulative. You don’t want that. It’ll be miserable and you’ll waste precious time with someone who will never love you the way you need. I’d suggest a woman’s shelter. They have resources they can help you with (housing, snap, Wic) you DO NOT have to depend on this “man” . Leave while you can.
He will never change. The sooner you start a new life, the better. Sorry.
You don’t have to do anything. Ditch that boy and stand on your own! You can do it!
Run with your unborn and never look back go to a woman’s refuge they will help rehouse u etc please don’t stay x
You and your baby deserve better than this. Your baby comes first, remember that! Sounds like your boyfriend is immature and doesn’t respect you or the baby. Please try to find some place to go that is safe. If you don’t want the baby, there’s always adoption. Hold your head up high and get out!! Best wishes for a great future!! You can do this girl! I know you can.
Leave. Don’t waste your years with someone that is not worth it. You will always wonder what he’s up to. Once that trust is broken it never is the same. You deserve someone faithful. Best wishes to you.