Could anyone give me advice please?

My husband and I split about 8-9 months ago. During the process we became friends again I thought and fell in love again. Fast forward to now, we have been trying to move past the months, but how do you get past the hurt? The betrayal that you feel that he basically made another family while away?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Could anyone give me advice please?

I went through the same thing we split up for 8 months he moved on had a new girl they lived together they didnt have kids but it didnt work out we started talking again we moved back in took it like a whole new start dont bring up the past just move forward here we are almost 3 years back together

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How do u know what ever situation he was in is over? Please don’t set yourself up 2 b hurt. I probably would have left him alone and stayed away. U know the ending 2 this chapter already.

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You didn’t say anything about all that meds safety frist is just af or did have a baby

It’s very hard. And Communication is so important. For me it’s hard to move past things because I feel the need to talk about it at times and they don’t want too. But it’s usually because I still feel alot of pain.

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I’m so confused….you split for 8 months and got close and fell in love, but he also simultaneously created a whole other family? Girl….you don’t get over that, you got over the fact that you were bamboozled and believed things that were not real…and move tf on.

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He has another family now move on an let him mess her life up

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The only way to move on is accepting the matters within yourself the rest will come outwards in time. Your intuition is something you should trust and follow however, because you might not be so ready to forgive and fall back in love as you say. Communicate openly to your partner it’s the best way to overcome obstacles in your relationship. Hearing and most importantly actively seeing reassurance from your partner that you two are ready to move past this speed bump will help you overcome the insecurities of it all. I personally would handle this scenario verrry differently but to each their own I’ve done made awful choices in the name of love myself and you wont learn how to properly love until you make your own mistakes and learn from em.

You don’t. You move on. He has a whole other family now.

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For me I can never go back to what broke me…

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They’re exes for a reason…. You will never get past the betrayal honestly. It will always be in the back of your mind. File that divorce girl

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Does basically he made another family mean he got her pregnant? Whole different story if he did.

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That’s a complete disaster waiting to happen for you and the other family he created. Move on and don’t look back

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You either want it and work really hard at trusting each other again. Or you don’t and you end up just miserable. It takes a strong couple to get through rough stuff.

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You need a marriage counseling. This is just a honeymoon phase. You guys need to do the hard work if realizing g what went wrong if your actions/reactions hurt others, accept that it can’t be undone and how to make sure it’s knot happening in the future. Without knowing specifics it’s hard to know what you should work at. If he did in fact have consensual sex and a baby is on the way (bc you said new family) you need to figure out if you are ready to be a step mom. Will you accept this child with your whole heart and treat them no different from any other children. Will you be respectful towards the coparenting relationship? I don’t think you should be so quick to be in love with this person bc I’m sure there’s red flags your not mentioning. Finish the separation and divorce… you can always get remarried later down the road if you both do the hard work with the relationship. But it sounds like he’s prob moved on.

If you both want to truly move on you both should agree to never bring up the past ever again.

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You can’t reheat McDonald’s fries JS

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Time. Do things you wanted to do

You can’t change what happened when you split up. It wasn’t betrayal if you weren’t together. If he made another child in the interim, you have to unconditionally accept the child if it’s going to work.

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I couldn’t get over it but everyone has to make that decision for themselves. It is a personality thing. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

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Keep being friends n see if time heals the hurt.

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Close that chapter and turn the page…

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The time apart killed the relationship. It’s over. Move on. You two weren’t together when it happened. He made a choice that finished off what you two had. He closed that chapter and moved forward now you do the same.

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You know your worth and get the divorce. You obviously meant little to him for him to go and do all that.

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personally that would be the end , period

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How did he have time to make another family when you split up, had an awakening and got back together in well under a year? :thinking::joy:

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Well you got him back and his lover as well plus a baby…if he can turn his back on a woman who is carrying his child… he’ll leave you in the wind as well…best thing for him to do is to return to the lady carrying his child and for you to drop out of this family photo… you’ll have no rest…for the rest of your life with this man…and she and the baby will be in this picture for the rest of his life… child support, weekend visits…school programs, sporting events… graduations…cut your loss and get on down the road friend…

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Therapy. It’s hard. Work on your individual selves and therapy together. Can’t punish each other for things when you weren’t together. Yes things will hurt. But yall were apart. Start fresh

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They were on a break

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He made another family, became friends with you and fell back in love all within 8-9 months?

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Start by protecting yourself, get checked for std’s and be realistic about his ability to be monogamous

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You say u split up 8-9 months ago, he has another family? He either cheated on you just before split and got another pregnant or right after split he got the woman pregnant. Either way it happened. If he did cheat on you before split then f him if he didn’t and got someone pregnant right after he didn’t cheat on you. But dang either way u either accept it or move on.

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If you was split up. It’s not cheating :grin:. Sounds like that you and him both thought it was over.

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He made another family between 8 months ? This is alarming

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If the tables were turned would he accept that you made another family with someone else in such a short time apart?

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Wait what? You never said anything ab making another family within the 8-9 months or during or whatever.
You can’t just throw that in at the end​:rofl::joy:
Again, Wait, whaaat​:raised_hand:t5:hol up. run it back. waayyyymMENTTt!:joy:

*was this the real reason/ cause for the split cause ain’t no getting over or past that ! That’s hurt HURT :pensive::100:

Good luck and blessing to youđź«‚đź’«

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Boy if that’s all it takes to fool you i feel sorry for you. Maybe he doesn’t want to raise another newborn so he thought it would be a good idea to go back to you. You know the best of the worst so to speak. You really need to think this one over. There is no way i’d being taking him back in, let him stay with her. Don’t be fooled.

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You don’t. You move on and live your best life. Because that timeline speaks volumes. Don’t make excuses for him either, it will only lead to pain & resentment, see him for who he really is.

Women really need to stop coddling and enabling. When they show you who they are believe them. If a person’s words and actions don’t align you must always go with the actions as the truth.

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You don’t. You get a new husband. Cheaters don’t change you’ll be in this same position in the future

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Oh gosh, I can’t even imagine how hurtful that would be. I’d let him go. Cause it’d be so painful. Go to a counselor to help you through it. Remember you broke up for a reason.

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He made another family in under a year? Girl that’s a big red flag.

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There is not nearly enough context for advice here :roll_eyes:

Don’t be that woman. Let it go

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Your car have a flat tire? Put the donut on and just drive pas his ass tf