So I’ve been wanting to go thru my boyfriends phone because of everything happening between me and him an now he never erases messages… an I found these photos of screenshots of messages in his erased photos and went to go look at his messages to see if that persons messages were there and it wasn’t. His contact is still there but no messages. And he has some picture of someone’s car at his work too which is also a deleted pic. I don’t wanna ask him about it because I know it’ll start a fight. Should I just message the number and ask if it’s his one co worker? Or one of the chicks under a different name or is it actually his co worker an they were talking about something he didn’t want me to see?? Because ever since a female coworker started flirting with him he’s been acting up saying he’s to the point of ending our relationship (which was random) but then other times he says he wants to be with me???Oh and the picture of the car was taken inside of someone else’s car in the passenger seat. I know this because he takes my vehicle to work and it was a tan interior and my trucks interior is black.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Could my boyfriend be cheating?
Do whatever you need to do to find answers for yourself if you believe it’s going to help you. but it looks like your intuition is telling you what you already know.
You ask his co worker and I guarantee the co worker will tell him. Save the middle man and just ask him. Gonna fight regardless. This will eat you up. So either ask and work on fixing it or let go.
No you should not message anyone. That’s crazy. You need to clearly break up. The trust is gone
Good luck, all I got to say is start being a investigator, and when you have proof, confront him!
If you feel the need to go through his phone, there’s no trust. Without trust there isn’t a solid relationship.
Let him go, move on.
Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to.
You don’t do a thing but let him go. You don’t owe him any questions. And he really don’t owe any answers. Just how the world is today. If you’re not willing to start a fight to find out answers. You’re not ready to fight for a relationship by yourself. Easy. Break up and find a real man. You doing wifey stuff for a simp.
Honestly find happiness. With or without him. Ask him and be straight forward. Communication is key and it sounds like your gut is telling you something. Trust needs to be there girl.
How about you just leave him… if he threatened to end it clearly that shows his priorities. Why stay in this situation?? Plus clearly there’s no trust from you to him and there can be no relationship without trust
I wouldn’t message anyone, but that’s me. If you have suspicions and can’t trust then walk away.
When you wanna ask another woman about your man… it’s time to gooo
Sounds suspicious…if he’s saying that to you then yea…you deserve better and the right man will come…instead of some boy playing games behind your back. Obviously he doesn’t respect you. Leave him.
Show up at his work. Watch and wait …
I think if you feel the need to find out who that number belongs to, you need to move on. Whether he is doing something or it’s your own insecurities, it’s a sign you shouldn’t be in that relationship. Walk away.
I’d end the relationship too! Toxic asf.
If you can’t trust him then you have no reason to be in a relationship with him. If he’s cheating on you, talking to this other girl outside of work in a flirty way or whatever then walk away because he will continue to do it. IF he is doing that he has zero respect for you or your relationship. Don’t be that female that starts contacting other women or sneaking around. Ask him straight up what is going on. Or walk away. Trust is a big part of a relationship. You don’t have that then the relationship is crap.
Call the number. Drive around the lot looking inside all the cars to match the interior from the picture he took and raise hell. Turn the GPS on, on his phone. Do it all don’t hesitate toxica! Jk girl talk that shyt out be like “look im feeling insecure about where we stand and what your doing when im not around and I went through your phone and found x,y,z,…” or just straight up tell him its you who isn’t feeling the relationship anymore and how he has been acting and your stepping out on the relationship
I mean you can look the number up chances are they’re not going to answer if you try anyway. If you’re looking through his phone and he’s acting off…something is probably off.
What did the deleted text messages say? That’s what we need to know!
If I were you I’d change my name to that number & vice versa… play real detective that’s just me though… wee bit psycho like that
You need to leave now before you end up getting hurt more. These are HUGE red flags you’re throwing out there.
I think if you’re at this point it may be time to end things and move on.
If you have to go through your man’s phone and do all this FBI work, it’s not even worth the time or energy. In a relationship or marriage there has to be trust to make it work. If there is no trust there is no relationship periodt! I’ve been with my amazing husband for almost 14 years and never once I ever snooped through his phone or he’s ever snooped through my phone. And we are living a great almost 14 years and more!!! Save your time and energy and move on!!! Goodluck
Sounds like he’s cheating to me
If you can’t have an open question/answer conversation about you feeling some type of way… there’s No way this relationship will last regardless if he’s cheating or not. May as we’ll be done now instead of wasting anymore of either of y’all’s time. Healthy curiosity can be good in a relationship. Helps build trust, but not if one another doesn’t know about said curiosity-that leads to mistrust & destruction of any stability going forward.
What’s the point of bringing it up? So he can deny and lie further? So he can gaslight you? So you can make a decision to stay and be disrespected even more?
Just end it and hold on to your dignity!
If you feel like you have to go through someone’s phone then the relationship is absolutely not worth it.
Time to move on move forwards ok
The moment you had the question in your heart, it was over. Walk away make a clean break.
Be prepared to get ur feelings hurt… don’t go looking for what u suspect already…
He already wants to end it…so end it…no need to play detective
If it walks like a duck, pay attention to your gut, it never lies. If you’re asking, you already know .
If I get to the point in a relationship I feel the need to go through your phone im walking. Goodbye. Its not worth my sanity. Id rather be single than have to second guess everything my SO is doing
He’s already said he is to the point of ending your relationship. STOP letting him use your car and give him the boot. He’s telling you clearly he doesn’t want you. Obviously he is using you.
Don’t be someone’s option. If you can’t be #1, let him go.
If you can’t trust him to go to work without imaging he’s screwing around and he obviously can’t trust you to respect his privacy and quit snooping through his phone, it’s probably time to let it go. You can’t make the guy faithful if he’s not, and he can’t make you trust him if your insecure. Save both yourselves the heart ache and leave.
If you can’t communicate your feeling with your partner then there is no point in being in a relationship with them, and saying he is to the point of ending your relationship that is a huge sign.
This post SCREAMS:: RUNNNNN
Regardless wether he’s cheating or not as soon as you have to start going through phones and feeling paranoid and unsettled it’s time to walk away x
Don’t cry over spilt milk. If your intuition is going off 90% of the time there’s a reason. Focus on you… focus on making you happy… you can’t make anyone else happy until you are… and tell him to kick rocks with his deceptive self trying to hid stuff
idk girl you seem kinda dumb he already said he wants to end the relationship he already has someone else so let him be
Stop seriously cause if you have to do all that bs then break up with him. He’s already told he wants to end the relationship so just end it for your sanity at this point. If you have to look thru someone’s phone look thru their erased pictures their contacts and want to text someone asking who it is then f*cking end the relationship ffs.
It already sounds like you went through his phone. Stop being his option. I feel like you know the answer
You don’t say how long you two have been together. If you have years invested in the relationship, I wouldn’t just walk away without questioning him. But question thoroughly to get the information you need to go forward (whether that be staying or leaving) without any doubt or regret. Ask HIM to show you and explain the screenshots and deleted texts. If he has nothing to hide, that shouldn’t be a problem. But, If he cannot offer a satisfactory explanation and the relationship is fairly new and you’re already having trust issues, go ahead and break it off. Don’t let him manipulate you. Things will likely get worse rather than better.
Hey, you deserve to be happy. Life is short. There is a man out there that would do anything to see you smile. I know its hard to see that right now, but it’s true. Don’t settle for someone that makes you question everything. You are the only one that can look out for you.
No trust or communication there is no relationship
Yeah so about the co worker that would be a good place to start if you’re going to look. My dumb ex let me borrow his phone while he went to work. (mine was broke) Text about friendship & love started coming through under the name Robert! I called the number & got a females voicemail! I let him come home from working that night & get cozy in the bed for sleep. When my kids got on the bus I went in & flipped on the lights & told him he wasn’t getting any rest today because we were going to lunch with Robert!! My advice don’t ask him…he will just lie! Once a cheater always a cheater. You can do bad all by yourself! You deserve better.
Dont ask them anything ask your man first or find out yourself they don’t owe you anything
Sounds like u got to much time on ur hands. If u don’t have trust u don’t have a relationship. Men are allowed to be friends with women the same as a women is allowed to be friends with a man. You females have some issues no wonder y’all are single
He’s in the middle in his mind I think…debating who he wants to be with
Gurl it’s this kinda behavior that will DRAIN your soul and suck the life out of you I had to deal with this for 13 years on top of beating abused physically mentally emotionally and sexually financially all of it he would cheat come
Home accuse me and beat me go through my phone and break my phones am so much worse And I didn’t find out till after I left that everything he accused me of everything he beat me over was because of what he was doing! I never went through any of his phones because the one time I did in the beginning of our relationship I caught him talking to his ex wife and it hurt me so bad I told myself if NEVER go through another’s phone and I never did again but he continued to do him and while I was ready to leave I became pregnant he stopped so I thought for awhile got married WORST mistake ever he wound up goin to jail for 4 months and I was there for him every way possible made sure he didn’t go without and when he got home he was a totally different person he was not the man I married or even knew he was a MONSTER cause he thought I was cheating while he was in jail because of his own guilty conscience well he started abusing me and it NEVER stopped in fact it got worse and worse I was in that hell hole for 13 years almost I was just 18 when I got with him I didn’t knw jack shit about relationships besides I thought I found my soul mate boy was I wrong and blind and a idiot for staying long as I did I took lie detector tests passed and he still didn’t believe me after that I knew he would never change and that the man I fell for in the beginning was a lie he hid his true form from me for the first 4 years I was young naive easy to malipulate after all that honey it drained me to my core broken bones total war sometimes all night long I had to survive total wrath or I’d be dead by now ball bats u name it it’s happened to me stabbed I left that mfer 4 years ago me and my kids are now the happiest we’ve ever been I’ve been single the entire time too healing myself it took me 3 years to finally find me and get over all the trauma but here I am standing tall but I have so much health problems now it’s unreal how brittle and weak u can become so dnt waste your precious energy on it it will DRAIN you and u will eventually become so lost after heart break and heart break I hate seeing’s ppl go through relationships with no trust
Just call it *67 and see who picks up. I’m petty though.
He could be doing drugs for all you know though. Maybe in the car for drug purposes or deleting it for the same reason.
All these comments saying you’re dumb or whatever would feel differently if they loved someone and were in the same boat. If I were you though, I’d call the number *67 and when I found out he was cheating I’d make a dating account on something like plenty of fish, once you get all kinds of messages leave your phone open on the counter and let him see. He’ll either realize what he has or leave you but at least he’ll know you have plenty of options.
Yes, I’m petty pettttty.
Do yourself a favor and find someone you actually trust to date.
I agree with all these comments babe, just do you. Don’t give him your vehicle either.
Call the number see if a man or woman’s answers and then u have ur answers. If it’s a women then get tf up outta there if it’s the man I’d ask why he deleted the messages
Know your worth. Don’t let yourself be an option. If your not his first and only choice then you deserve better and should go out and get it.
He gave you clear indication that he’s one foot out the door so go on and push him out! Better yet continue to be his side chick because he knows you not about to leave.
If you gotta do all that.
It’s past time to go.
You think that person isn’t going to tell him or is going to tell you the truth?!?! Girl, just follow his wishes and end it and leave it at that. He obviously needs you more than you need him, so don’t deal with the disrespect.
Ive texted the woman back before. I wont even mess with this drama anymore tho you just waste your time. If you need to go through his phone hes not for you. Dont torture yourself further if you cant trust him. There will be more drama
RUN! You already know the answer or you wouldn’t be questioning it.
Communication brings happiness start with him.
If you gotta go through a phone it isn’t worth your time or energy. Might want to look into WHY you feel the need to go through his phone too. If I EVER felt like I wanted to go through a phone, I don’t need to be with them. Do y’all LIVE together? Why does he use YOUR car??
Listen to your intuition, you already know the answer here. Find the strength. I know it’s hard at first but it’s worth it to move on.
You have major trust issues shouldn’t be with anyone without trust
You have major issues, lol.
This guy is dis respecting you, you don’t deserve that. Respect yourself, know your worth and leave him.
If you have to ask that question here … you already know the answer. Your gut never lies
Before you go snooping, be ready for what you can find. What are yi u going to do if he’s cheating, do you have a plan? Make a decision and then go looking.
You can go online and read it if you log into your carrier. I have Verizon, so I can see everything from now to 6 month and sometimes even a year. Lol, hope this helps!
Ok since you don’t trust him, why are you still in a relationship with him???
There’s obviously no trust. Dont get into games of goung through his phone…its not healthy. I’ve been lied to, cheated on,abused physically and mentally and don’t trust…ive been with my partner only 6 months but every day he shows me he loves,respects and cares for me and that I can trust him. If ever I felt the need to go through his phone I’d leave xx
if you’re going through his phone looking for shit then your relationship is already over girl
Run! If you have to go through his phone you already know! Why waste your time any longer?!?!
Really…kinda jumping to a lot of conclusions don’t you think? First of all, in my opinion, if you feel that you have to go behind his back and sneak into his phone that’s the first problem. There is no trust there which means the relationship is headed for doom for that reason alone. Secondly, seek and you shall find…if you don’t know the facts and don’t want to ask him or discuss your feelings with him what makes you think a bunch of strangers that don’t even know you can answer whether or not he is cheating Could he be cheating…yes, maybe… could he not be cheating…yes, maybe. Communicate with your man and if you can’t do that you have serious problems that’s are not going to get taken care of here.
No trust left in the relationship and if he’s already talking about ending the relationship, it’s already over. End it.
If you feel like you have to snoop it’s either a “you” issue and you should fix that. Or if it’s gut then get out. Neither scenario is acceptable in a relationship since a good relationship requires trust.
I just watched a video yesterday of Steve Harvey telling a woman never collect more than one red flag. I thought that advice was pretty darn good. You got your red flag…don’t bother looking for or collecting more. one is enough.
He’s probably cheating tbh… men don’t change their attitudes and start talking about not wanting to be together unless something is going on
What you should do is put the phone down, pack up and leave. If you have no trust in your significant other, you have no relationship.
I do not like my phone being ran through. Invade your own privacy
If you need to go through phones you’ve already lost the relationship
don’t wanna ask because it would start a fight?
Y’all women are something else!
Ask the man of he gets mad give his butt a bottle , binky, and a blanket, let him know where the door is and to have a nice life!
Doesn’t matter who it is. If he is deleting messages that’s shady and he’s doing for it a reason. Something he doesn’t want you to see
If you don’t trust him, why are you with him?
If your not ready to leave and I say this respectfully dont look and dont bring it up.
Honestly just talk to him. Me and my fiancé have the same passcodes on our phone I never go through his phone unless he gives me a good reason to.
All these people saying don’t go through the phone, I kind of agree with but at the same time, my husband and I have a very open relationship. He regularly uses my phone and I use his. We have the same passcode and if my phone is dead, I’ll use his and vice versa. I never understood what the big deal is about phones! If you have nothing to hide, looking at your phone shouldn’t be a big deal￼…
I’d call the number from a different phone and see who answers. Texting the number isn’t telling you who the person is they can lie. You can always ask for a random name and say sorry wrong number. You’ll have your answer.
If you’re going through his phone but won’t talk to him about your insecurities before asking strangers on the internet. It’s you he should be running from.
I mean I delete pictures that have no significance, like if I took a picture of something just to show someone, or if I screenshot something to remember, once it has no significance I delete it… same thing with messages, if it’s not important I delete them
I hope he leaves you for that sexy car
Like wtf is wrong with you?
GROW TF UP OR STAY SINGLE
If you have to ask the question, then likeness is……. He is.
What you allow will continue. Deal with past mistakes in therapy if possible. If not, leave. You deserve better. You shouldn’t have to question your significant others loyalty. If he’s deleted things and it starts a fight just to ask a question, I’d leave personally. My peace of mind is too important to me today. He can play games with someone else
Young one I didn’t even finish reading this - there is no trust so there can be no relationship- walk away , sweetie- you deserve better.
Having to go through his phone is a big red flag… if you gotta be worried and second guessing the person you sleep next too at night you got huge issues. The fact it’s one minute he wants to be with you and the next he doesnt is also alarm bells too me… that would be screwing with your mental stability big time but your staying and allowing him to do it so you also can’t put the blame fully on him
Yea of course he COULD be cheating. Don’t be with someone who you suspect is cheating and you can’t discuss your concerns with…You shouldn’t need to go through your partners phone. You both should be able to look or use each other’s phone and not have it be a nightmare. He’s going to talk to other people. The issue is what happens next and if HE and she decide to hook up the issue is your man. I would avoid drama. It’s not worth it.