Could my husband be cheating?

Okay so (somewhat long sorry) SO and I have been together for 7 years and have 2 small children together. SO is about 14 years older which hasn’t been an issue aside from sex. His testosterone has been low for about a year and we have very little sex. Recently he got a little blue pill that will help but be got these pills over a month ago (which I had no clue he’d had them this long) and we just had sex for the first time in 3 months. When I found them I couldn’t help but count them. The bottle came with 48 and now only has 43. So he’s used 4 pills…and not with me. Is there any reason other than cheating that he would have taken them? Also he changed the pass code on his phone. Not having sex and all this makes me insecure and paranoid, I’m nervous to confront him because if I’m wrong I seem like I’m snooping…but what if he is getting it elsewhere?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Could my husband be cheating?

Talk to him about it. His answer should tell you an you can decide what to do from there. Don’t let it eat you up inside.

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You are his wife and you have this feeling for a reason. Changing the passcode is a red flag. Missing pills is a red flag You have every right to confront him about it.

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When I get a new medicine I tend to try it out bf rolling into it :rofl:

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Talk to him about it but it’s sounds like it. Change behavior usually is a sign.

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Hmmm… Definitely sounds questionable. Maybe he tried them out with himself 1st. But with the passcode being changed I would most definitely question it as well

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Just remember, the truth doesn’t mind being questioned. A lie does

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Maybe he’s used it by himself while watching porn to see how well it works for him?

Confront him. You’re married, you’re suppose to be able to talk about things.

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Maybe he’s just watching porn? If that’s an issue with you talk about it. Don’t come at him crazy. My man watches porn but that’s because I’m the one who doesn’t always want to have sex. But when I do he’s always down for it.

Is it possible that maybe he wanted to try them out first to see how it would be without you? Like maybe wanted to see how he’d react to it? Maybe he’s been watching porn to assist in that department, hence the possible need for a pass code on his phone. If he’s been having issues with ED, I don’t see him risking the embarrassment of trying to sleep with someone else? Just a theory.

Bring it up…and see what his reaction is. That will tell u what u need to know

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I think the pills alone isn’t that much of a red flag but the fact that he changed his passcode is suspicious

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I don’t know what your trust level is or how important you deem this but I would have known if my husband had little blue pills because we tell each other everything almost to fault. Passcode would deff be a red flag for us since again. We are such open books. Every relationship is different for my relationship I would be feeling the way you are. My father in law takes little blue pills if they are the same ones you only have to take them when planning to use the equipment for lack of pc terms. So I would be very concerned. I hope he’s just embarrassed and didn’t say anything because of that. 14 years in and I don’t know how I would handle it. I can type all day long and tell you these are two major red flags but again we don’t know anymore details or the inner workings of your marriage. I think having to contact a group Anonymously for help is your answer

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Maybe he uses it alone to get some quality time with himself ?

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Id straight up ask him

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Ask him straight up and listen to the way he answers, that will tell you if he’s cheating or not.

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He might just be wanking it. you can figure out what type of medicine it is and then see how long the body takes to recognize the medicine first. Then talk to him about it.

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Just ask. I’m sure it hit his ego when he couldn’t perform so it could be he tested it out with some videos just to make sure so he would be relaxed when it came time? That’s the only thing I can think of besides cheating.

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I would ask him . I would say " I noticed you have a lock on your phone and it’s making me feel a little insecure would you mind taking it off ." Go from there . Don’t jump to conclusions .

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Definitely ask him. If he’s not doing anything sketchy then he wouldn’t have any issue being questioned…. This coming from a man… just saying.

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The pills aren’t what would bother me yet the passcode change would. Pills he could have wanted to finally do a solo but the pass code I’d have to wonder about.

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Definitely suspicious for sure. But he may have taken them hoping to have some time with you and they didn’t work. I’ve heard of them not working for everyone. But if he hast to try to come up with an answer and isn’t a straightforward then you’ll know something more is going on.

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Maybe he’s watching videos, but some people do consider porn/videos cheating so just ask.

You know the answer…
You just want some one else to verify it
Only he can do that

If your not ready for the truth or if your not going to do anything about it don’t ask

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Maybe he was taking them for a test run phone password change so you don’t see the port he was looking at?

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Sorry but even if he’s got low T , a doctor can fix that , NO man goes 3mts. With out. Unless he’s cheating / and would have been in a hurry too try them out.
REALLY you know the answer already.

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Talk to him about it. Don’t automatically assume it’s cheating.
He could be really into porn right now and that’s why his code changed and thise pills are gone. Not everyone knows what incognito mode is lol.

My husband has Low T and those pills rarely work. He has to get actuall Testosterone shots

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Had the same issue. I counted. BUT also forgot that when he took them I had my period. Then I had covid. Then the other few times I wasn’t in the mood. I even asked him straight out and told him I counted. We didn’t argue, just had a convo. Also, my husband works 12 he days. 30 min to work and 30 min home. He goes straight to work and home, so sometimes I need to chill out and atop thinking the worst

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Benefit of the doubt:
He could have been test driving them with porn.
I would ask and pay very close attention to his reaction. Surly with 7 years you can tell if he isn’t being truthful.
Honesty is key.

There is no reason in the world for a spouse to have a secret phone……aka passcode!

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He is definitely going elsewhere! Low T is a great excuse! Js js

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Lack of testosterone along with stress and various environmental factors he may of took one or two to try and solo it and work out the dose rather than take with you wrong dose and not work and get frustrated also! Lots of things and maybe if he has been looking at porn to get the pills working he may be embarrassed and not technologically savvy enough to clear the browser history on his mobile

Ask him about the passcode, if he gets very defensive then go from there

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Maybe he tested them out first. I’ve heard it’s discomforting the first few times

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My husband take them sometimes without even having sex because they also help with high blood pressure an he would take them before bed also just in case if we had sex or not but it is definitely suspicious I would dig a little more I hope you get the answers

Maybe he’s selling them and doesn’t want you to know that you need the extra money?? Either way it should be talked about. But I do agree it could just be from a couple solo rounds to feel out the medication, how long it will last, how much feelin it gives etc. most men use their phones to solo these days, that could also be the reason for the pin change, he doesn’t want to get caught on porn, maybe he’s embarrassed and doesn’t want you to feel less attractive or that you aren’t good enough because of the type of porn he has viewed because it doesn’t show they clicked then clicked off right away, we can just see what they clicked on, something fumbling with the phone you click on something you definitely wouldn’t be pleasuring yourself to by accident and it can look bad, just a few thoughts…. Talk to someone professional if you feel you can’t bring it up to your husband.

nah bro. you know the answer. you need somebody to verify. make him. but if you aren’t going to do anything about it then you’re wasting you’re time.

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I think you know your answer. Just ask him, don’t let him gaslight.

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And if he is? Anyone at any time can cheat and it isn’t going to have anything to do with you. You have to talk to
Him and tell him your concerns. How does he handle your feelings? Does he want you to be reassured or is he defensive? You need to trust your gut and decide what to do.

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You know ur answer. Painful as it is!

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Just know , he will deny it no matter what. I’d demand the code and if he got mad at me I’d end it

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Ask don’t assume don’t accuse ask!

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Here’s a super toxic way to find out! Stand behind him where you’re angled to see his phone without him necessarily being aware you can see and ask him something that requires him to open it. You’ll be able to see his passcode.
If necessary, record it.
If you really feel like something’s going on, which that’s a pretty big indication it is, looking through his phone is going to give you the answers. Just be aware that this is a huge invasion of privacy and if you DON’T find anything, you’ve just breached his trust severely.
If you do find stuff though you should make a record of it like by taking photos of the screen with your phone. It can help in divorce court if you’re married.

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Not necessarily true. Hubby would take then then something else would happen company or we didnt get along that day. An my hubby k owns if we argue he’s not getting nothing.

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Just ask him. Tell him having his phone locked makes you feel uncomfortable. Ask if you can have the passcode. Then look into the medicine. It likely may have needed to get in his system or he tried it out to be sure it worked. I doubt he had sex with someone else before making sure it worked, so if he just used it with you it’s unlikely he used it with someone else. Probably, took care of himself to try it out :woman_shrugging:t4:

Sometimes it takes more than one for it to work. It’s possible that he was taking them to see if he needed more than one. Of course, it’s also possible that he was using them with someone else. You’re not going to know unless you ask.

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I dont know him but maybe he is being insecure about the whole situation and wanted to make sure it does something for him before he takes one and disappoints you and himself. Men are pretty insecure when it comes to their manhood. So you need to just talk to him about it.

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Just to see if they actually help him and do what they are suppose to. I mean seriously the man has not been able to perform maybe just maybe he was seeing what was up with them before he took 1 for you

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Go with your woman’s intuition it is always right why would there be missing pills the boys cheating

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The only evidence you provide for cheating is less pills. Maybe he tried them by himself. What other reasons, besides this, do you have that make you think he is cheating?

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I am making these days easily more than $500 per day for doing work online. i got my 3rd payment last month of $18651. i was surprised when one of my close friend told me she was making $18655 per month but now i see how it works.

https://cashincomez50.neocities.org/

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My husband and I don’t use passcodes. He’s free to pick up my phone and I’m free to pick up his phone, answer calls, texts ect.

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What if he took some to get them working? Not a man so I wouldn’t know but maybe like other pills it take a few before they actually start to work. Idk just a suggestion

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I knew a guy that took them to pleasure himself. He has the same issues with testosterone. I’d start by asking him why he changed his code then ask about the pills if he doesn’t give the code.

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I would hide them and observe how he reacts. Sorry :pensive: I am just not optimistic when it comes to men and their wandering Ya knows… I believe if a man thinks he can get away with cheating he will take full advantage of it. I have yet to have a man prove me wrong on this topic. I decided in 2014 to just be single and not think about the stress and misery a relationship brings.

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Yes and I didn’t even read it.

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changing the passcode ? Why- yep red flag

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Is it brand viagra or generic? Sildenafil is also used for pulmonary hypertension, so that’s a possibility.

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He could be watching porn or cheating. Confront him not facebook

My iPhone forces me to change my pass code every few months. He might have tried the pills by himself to see how he would react to them. It might be embarrassing to try them for the 1st time with you during the actual act.
I’m just playing devils advocate. There could be a reasonable explanation.
However…ALWAYS trust your gut. If something feels wrong, you shouldn’t ignore it.
Sounds like y’all need an open convo about the state of your marriage in general. Talk to him and see what he’s thinking. If you want to stay together, y’all need to communicate.

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Just ask and see what his reaction is.

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If I were him I think I would try them out and make sure they worked first. That doesn’t mean he has cheated :woman_shrugging:
But changing his passcode is a concern. I would just casually leave your phone downstairs when you’re upstairs and then pick up his phone and say you need to use it. (Example) if he doesn’t give the passcode or acts defensive or angry etc
Then I would discuss what is going on. The pills aren’t your problem

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Maybe he masturbated

I would deep dive why you felt the need to count them in the first place… and talk to him about those emotions

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Just ask and see what his reaction is. Pills could be because he wanted to try them first. The passcode…does he always let you know the code? If so and he didn’t say anything then there ya go.

To give him a piece of mind, could imagine trying to initiate sex with your wife for them to just not work? How embarrassing that would be. If your first assumption is cheating and not how is he feeling, you ain’t shit.

Edit to add, his phone is his business. Look at you hurting your own feeling because you can’t respect someone’s privacy.

He honestly could be doing test runs…with his hand. Idk how you feel about that. But given the age gap and his inability to pleasure his wife on his own with no pills, he could be feeling insecure; so he wanted to see what the pills would do so he could make sure you’re not disappointed.
Don’t jump to the worst conclusions, communicate with your husband.
If you cant communicate about issues or concerns then there isn’t any intimacy.

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I don’t think he is cheating, However don’t be naive about the possibilities. Unless he using his phone to watch porn, the issue is why he is not being honest with you. Time to have THE TALK and be brave enough for whatever answers you will receive.

Viagra doesn’t always work the first time a man uses it. As a matter of fact sometimes if their testosterone is too low it won’t work at all. It is not uncommon for them to try taking it alone first to see if it’s actually going to work. Sometimes they will take it a couple of times before actually using it with a partner because what could be more embarrassing than you both getting ready and it doesn’t work. They get frustrated because it doesn’t work and wait awhile to try it again alone. It’s expensive so they really get upset saying it’s a waste of money. Then it finally works so they feel confident to bring their partner in. Maybe he did this a couple of times and it finally kicked in so he decided to use it with you…that is a possibility. If you have a close honest relationship why not talk to him and ask if he ever tried it alone before because you’ve read it sometimes doesn’t work right away just to see. The phone code now that’s a whole different issue. If there’s not trust there’s no relationship :woman_shrugging:t3:

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You don’t just go load your gun if you don’t plan on using it. I highly doubt this married man took pills to get his shit up and just jerked off knowing his wife is right there ready for some action. Y’all really think this man waited until his wife left and was like “yeah my wife is gone I’m so horny let me pop a viagra and beat my meat”…he got them to use them and that’s clearly what he did.

In these Days i am making easily more than $500 for working online. i just received my 4th payment of previous month of $18640. i was surprised when one of my close friend told me she was making $18654 per month but now i see how it works.

https://incomecashnow50.neocities.org/

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Talk to him. He probably isn’t cheating. Maybe he tried the pills to see if they would work. Just talk without accusations

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Me personally, I would take any pill beforehand to see if it worked and did what it was supposed to.

But 4 is a lot for that? Idk that’s kind of weird. Id confront him about it and just genuinely ask him. Don’t accuse him of anything, just explained it made you feel insecure and you’re concerned.

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He could have taken them just to see if they still work.

All I’ma say is iv never met a woman that was just paranoid, everytime her gut has been right.

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I am easily earning extra $500 or even more by working easy online job from home. Today i have received $18640 which is the payment of my previous month’s work. i was surprised when one of my close friend told me she was making $18654 per month but now i see how it works.

https://incomecashnow50.neocities.org/

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Maybe he was worried they’d make him sick :woman_shrugging:

He could have tried them to see if they work and to see how many he has to take to make it work.

He could have possibly passed some of the pills off to others, but waiting 3 months to use one at your house and changing his passcode is more troubling

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Anything in the dark always (and I mean ALWAYS) comes to light. It is questionable but can be explained for different reasons. You could ask him straight out and his reaction will usually tell you everything you need to know. Good luck and I hope he is not cheating. :green_heart:

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He could have given a few away…i know someone who hooked up his buddies :joy:

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He’s definitely cheating

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You guys have been together for 7 years, just sit down and talk with him. Tell him how you feel, tell him that you find his behavior suspicious. Communicate with him.

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He could have sold some or gave his friends a few. Don’t assume just ask nicely and see what he says.

There no such thing as snooping where your married lol ask him you have a right to ask!!

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He could have given some a way or tried them out to see how they work with his hand lol… maybe he’s insure and was worried if he tried and they didn’t work you’d be disappointed…

I’d ask about the pass code tho just be like i picked up your phone and went to unlock it and noticed you changed the pass word… tell him you were looking to see what notification he had or something

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I know plenty of my guy friends that share them.
So don’t be alarmed with that.
Now about the different passcode idk what could be going on.
Maybe change your passcode and see if he notices ? :woman_shrugging:t2:

Talk to him, maybe he tested them out by himself first. He may be embarrassed. I would just talk to him without accusing of cheating, but talking about the blue pills, your sex life, and your marriage. Be supportive and understanding and maybe he will open up.

You specifically take them to preform my love if there’s 4 missing they have been.used with someone eles. I’d be done

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Maybe he wants to try them out…and masterbated. Ask him. That’s they only way you’ll know.

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He could of been testing them out and getting himself off too

Instead of assuming the worst and making it worse in your mind, talk to him. I myself have problems and know others that do as well and unfortunately that make sex less of an option. Our bodies don’t always work with us. Talk to him rather than assume. You could ask if women thought he was cheating because he took out the trash and they’d say he was lol

So, as some have said it could be he tryed them to see how his body would react.

However, the changing of his password or code on his phone is differently a red flag. I’d do a little more “research” before saying anything. If you can check the bank account(s), credit cards ect… to see if there’s any unusual or unexplained withdrawals or hotel stays that you know you haven’t been to. I’d also check the history on any computers ect… that will tell you alot. I would also reflect on his behavior over the last few months.

Edit to add that it seems odd that he didn’t say anything sooner about getting the pills. At lest to me it seams odd.

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There’s a few things. Taken them and masturbated or gave some to his friends.
Honestly, just ask him.
Maybe don’t tell him you found them and counted them, that sounds a bit too much but changing his passwords etc is suspish

Maybe he tested a few out alone to make sure they worked.

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Maybe mind your own business? Why ru checking up on him like a child…he is a grown man…why ask Facebook we don’t know him go ask him and see what he says

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I’d be asking questions for sure

He’s your husband. Y’all should have no secrets. Sit down with him and have a conversation.

Yes, he could be cheating. He could also have used them by himself. Those medications, while meant to take care of “that” issue, don’t work for all men. Maybe before he popped one and y’all went at it, he wanted to make sure they would work. There are many possibilities. Talk to him.

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