Could this be a phase?

My upper elementary son told me he is gay....first off, I will always support my kids.....I just wonder if he completely understands...he says he does, but I'm not to sure....could this be a phase? have any other mama's been thru this??
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He may know, some people just know really young. Either way I would just support him, & let him navigate it as he gets older

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Could this be a phase? - Mamas Uncut

My son is in 4th grade and I would think he fully understands what it means to be gay. (He isn’t or hasnt said anything) but showing plenty interest in girls so its not different really, they like who they like. Could be a phase but even if it isn’t just be as supportive as you can be.

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I knew my sister was from a very early age, and so did she, but she hid it. Now that he is out he is going to need your support more than ever, and honestly he must feel he has that support to come out to you.

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My 12 year old daughter told me she was gay last year. I just support her even if it’s a phase. I’m just so happy she came to me. So I can help her and support her.

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You guys are wonderful

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I think it’s great that he feels comfortable enough to talk to you about it NOW. Just follow his lead when it comes to talking about it/questions, etc. time will tell. I’m sure he knows who he is attracted to. Right? 5th/6th grade. I remember being that age and having crushes.
if he is…He is. If he isn’t. He isn’t. Just love him unconditionally regardless.

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I agree…if he is he is… just dont agree to let him make permanent body changes if he decides he is transgender… until he is old enough to consent on his own.

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Just let him be. Support him. If you arent sure the best way to support him, that’s ok. Find a family group for parents of homosexual children, whether its online or in person. Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with your son being gay. It’s great that he felt comfortable telling you. But getting into a support group, if you aren’t sure how to support him and any challenges he may face (sadly this world can be horrible), could help make sure you know what he could come up against.

Now with that being said, usually kids don’t really go through a “phase” with sexuality. Especially with males because there is, sadly, still a stigma. If anything homosexual males are more likely to go through a “I’m straight” phase. But he may just be curious. And thats ok. In my opinion, childhood or more so preteen ages should be the time to find their likes and dislikes. If he thinks he likes boys, support him. In the future if he says he likes both or just girls, then support him. Interests can change and that’s OK.

But please please please remember, the fact that he wasn’t to scared to let you know says you are already doing something right. I think every kid should just be able to bring home a boyfriend or girlfriend regardless of their gender and no one bats an eye. Every child deserves love and support and it sounds like you are already giving him that.

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Yep my daughter is 19 mow says she knew she liked girls at age 10. She is nonbinary likes feminine girls

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My oldest daughter came out as trans when she was 12. She(he) is now 15 in a couple weeks and I’ve always been supportive. She has always said that she knew early on but was always scared I wouldn’t approve. Be happy he’s opening up to you, make sure you keep an open door by being supportive regardless. That’s always the hardest part! Now that he’s got you in his corner he’ll be fine whether it’s just a phase or not. I have a no dating till they’re 15 rule so that kind of helps the need for brining others into the picture while they’re still figuring things out. Also, a good therapist who specializes in LGBTQ+ is a good resource for them because even though we’re almost in 2022 they are still very much targeted by their peers.

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Could be a phase. At that age, he is trying to figure out who he is. My oldest grandson went through the same thing when he was a pre-teen. He is 21 now and has been with his girlfriend for a couple years, currently living together. Just support him no matter what. He needs that more than anything.

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Even if it is a phase he will realise in his own time.Just support him & let him know he can always come to you! Xxx

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I’m about as gay as they come. & though I was a huge “tomboy” there’s no way possible I knew I was gay. Though today’s world has changed and it’s more open about that certain thing I would just go with the flow and follow my child’s lead but at such a young age I would jump in full fledge rainbow flag just offer support and honestly treat it like a new hairstyle until they reach later teen/adult good.

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Just smile and nod and move on with life. Time will tell.

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Shoot just to have your kid be that open to you is a blessing phase or not I’ll be that parent like oh her or she is cute! Like I would be there the entire way misunderstand here and there but as long as my child is opened I’m down to be that supportive parent.

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yes with my daughter she told me she was gay i fully support her next thing u know she has a boyfriend lmaoooo they’re still growing

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If he came home and said he liked a girl- you wouldn’t question if he completely understood.
I’m sure he knows what it means to be gay.
Just be supportive… it’s what all kids need no matter what!

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I would just tell him that he’s free to love whoever he wants and you’ll love him all the same and simply leave it at that for now. :heart:

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Just wanted to say your incredible! I have a friend who hid he was gay all through highschool because he was scared of what his parents would think! Hes been out for roughly 12 yrs and has never been happier!! :heart:

If it is a phase or not, you know how to love your son best! Just be there for him no matter what!:heart:

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Support him. I came out to my mom as bisexual when I was 13 but I’ve known since I was in kindergarten

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My son officially mentioned he was gay in the 6th grade. He had known for a long time that he’s gay and when he started maturing he finally just found a word for what he had pretty much always felt. Honestly I thought he was too young but then it was like as soon as he said it he started gaining all of this confidence he hadn’t had before. It was amazing to watch. Just love your kid and make sure he knows you’re proud of him and that will give him the space to love and be proud of himself.

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Of course he understands.

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my 10yo came out. She knows and it’s ok. I’ll support her no matter what.

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Childhood and adolescence is all about self discovery. Unfortunately, in today’s world, it is very encouraged to be anything but “straight” and children are very susceptible to all kinds of influences. So it’s hard to say at this age if it’s legitimate or at the pressure to be inclusive and cool. If he grows out of it, great…if he grows into, great. It’s his path to discovery. Nothing changes in how you support and encourage him to be the best version of himself that he can be.

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Mine told me at 8. Changed their name at school by 10 (more gender neutral) and is now 13. We love our kid nomatter what. I feel very proud that they felt comfortable with being honest at a young age. I’d hate to see my kid suffer, having to hide their truth for years. I’m proud.

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Could be a phase my brother did the same thing.

There’s no point in questioning it. Just love and support him and let him learn and grow.

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Yes it could be, when my daughter was in the 6th grade her and a few of her friends said they were gay. Now she’s 16 and into boys but some of her friends are still into just girls, so it could go either way.

My sister is gay and she knew she was gay at a very young age… if he says he likes boys he probably likes boys. Don’t make a big deal out of it and don’t make him feel dirty for it.

My daughter came out when she was in 6th grade. I blew it off as a phase. Her first date-with a girl-was in 8th grade. She is going to be 20 it most definitely was not a phase. Depending on your child, they may know very young. My daughter has always been super mature. More so than I.

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Believe me it is not a phase. I knew I was gay when I was 8 years old

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There is no way to know for sure at this age. But you likely wouldn’t question it if he liked the other gender. Don’t worry about it too much. He will figure it out. What matters most is that he is happy.

He just needs you to love him no matter what the outcome is.

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My son was in 6th grade last year said he was gay. He is in 7th now and is absolutely sure he’s not gay. It could be a phase could not be a phase. Your child will figure it out eventually. In the mean time just be supportive.

If he says he is gay, he is! Be thankful he felt comfortable coming to you!

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I’m currently going through this with my 12yr old. She seems very confused about her sexuality. I say just support em through and see where it takes yall.

Assume it’s not a phase and show the child the unconditional love he deserves

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So many kids have crushes in 3rd grade . No 9ne questions it. Why would this be any different. Parents mistakenly make it sexual . It’s not they just know who they are and need to express it

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Just support your child in everyway .that’s all you can do as long as the love it there they will be fine xx

Yes it could be but just be there for them and if its not you are not going to be shocked cuz they have already told you

Maybe, maybe not. But how you react will be remembered forever. Be supportive, be open. Be loving. That’s all.

Could be. Every gay person i personally know has said they knew at a very young age.

It’s not great to call it. “phase”. Sexuality/attraction/identity, they’re complicated. His identity might develop from here or it might remain the same as it is now forever. Either way it’s really good that he’s comfortable telling you about it.

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Why even react to it that much at all? It shouldn’t even be a big deal of what peoples preferences are.

Also, kids that young shouldn’t really even be thinking about their “sexuality” at all.

Just tell them “Listen, I support your choices no matter what. But, you don’t really need to think about relationships or sexuality right now, it’s not appropriate for anyone your age. Can you tell me why this has suddenly become important to you?”

I knew I was bi at 8 years old.

He’s probably telling you the truth. No offense but boys do not usually have phases of liking other boys if they do they don’t express those feelings because of how Society treats them in comparison to it being more acceptable amongst girls. If he’s telling you this it’s because it is true and it’s awesome he felt he could express himself to you like that.

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Well not a phase I’m sure…I have a family member who knew he was only attracted to other males from a young age… he got older and did experiment and didn’t like it and is fully gay. Just love your child and answer questions and be supportive. Majority of children find out their attractions at a very young age