I’m so scared cps took my kids almost a year and a half ago I went to court in Dec and was told the kids had bonded and with their foster parents and that the kids couldn’t get along and that was the reasoning behind me not getting them back my lawyer says he will fight for me to get my kids back but that i should think about what’s best for them I think the best thing for them is to be home with me, but the courts say otherwise should I be upset? should I fight harder or what should I do
Fight for them no matter what, as soon as you stop that gives them more reason to not give them bacj
If you can provide those kids a loving stable home then yes you should fight for those kids… But if you can’t then you need to think about what’s best for them I’m not what’s going to make you feel better
What kind of idiot asks if they should fight for their kids the questions on this page are getting more and more ridiculous
Never give up on your kids
Never give up. Keep fighting to get ur babies home.
Never give up on your kids, good luck hon!
I don’t even know why this is a question I would kill for my kids so I definitely would fight for them
If they’ve been removed for that long the question really is why!!!
The fact your asking whether you fight for them gives a little insight as to why
Honestly… you shouldn’t have to ask this question on here. “Most” parents fight. I hope you do what is right for yourself.
Fight harder!! Do not give up!! They make money if those kids get adopted. What’s best for the kids will always be to be with the parents unless here is some kind of drug addict or abusive individual which I don’t know and but don’t see they should have absolutely no reason to not let you have your children back
CPS’ first goal SHOULD ALWAYS BE reunification…are you doing everything required of you? Parenting classes, drug tests, etc?? Do you have a stable and secure home? Both financially and emotionally? I don’t see a reason why they were removed listed and it’s none of my business but chances are, you weren’t able to provide the majority of that and unless you can PROVE otherwise, you probably wont get them back and unfortunately the younger they are and the longer you take to get them back is gonna work against you
If cps or DHS says it is the best for children then U fight them…those monsters put children with abusers and claim innocent when they r killed but take kids off innocent ppl. I am working on getting an informed to go on camera and confirm cps enforces the rights beliefs…including orders to take kids from gayer acting or trans parent and give to the other…they r monsters
“Should I be upset ?”
Are you actually being serious ? If you even need to ask that question, do you even want them back
Depends on why they were taken… No one can answer for you…
You are the parent yet asking if you should fight for them?? What kind of question is that anyway. maybe they are better off.
Keep fighting for them and NEVER give up girl! It will be worth it trust me
There’s not enough information to give an opinion. Like, why were they removed in the first place?
I think what’s more important is WHY they were taken from you
I’m gonna be blunt here.
It depends on why they were taken, it depends on the situation and if it has changed. Dont give up, change the circumstances so they can come home. If they were taken because you are on drugs, get off the drugs and prove you can stay off of them, if it was abuse or neglect comply with the courts to show you are fit to have them back. You need to do your part, if the situation has stayed the same, they’re not going to deem you a fit parent, and they arent going to give them back to you. 1.5 years is a long time for reunification, what have you been doing all this time to work towards getting them back?
Do people not think for themselves anymore? Not trying to be ‘that’ bitch but if you have to ask a Facebook group if you should fight for your kids then they probably are better off where they are!
Depends on why they were removed in the first place?
How did you lose them?
Thrs a lot of questions… Why were they taken?? Y a year & 1/2 for u to go to court?? U have an actual lawyer u hired or a public defender??? Where’s the dad?? Why would u ask if u should fight for them??? Have u followed court & CPS orders???
This has way to many holes in the story🤦♀️
Maybe you shouldnt have lost them in the first place and you wouldnt have to worry about it. A year and a half and you are just now asking if you should fight for them?
You can’t ever give up…when u give up they will give up on themselves! FIGHT! What ever they ask you to do - get it done one thing at a time. It will only make you a better parent.
I agree with everyone else. I would fight like hell for them but i don’t know the circumstances of why they were taken to begin with and why its already been a year since you have had them. We all make mistakes but if your needing strangers to tell you “what to do” maybe your not truly ready for them to be home with you.
They took my son away because I had some pipes and a pot plant then they tried to get me for child abuse and neglect and they couldn’t because there was no abuse or neglect and they couldn’t charge me with anything so they dropped the charges and I didn’t even have to go to court and yet they still won’t give me my son back
This is all to common man I dont know what else to say! Youl be facing an uphill battle of proving yourself as a fit parent…
Whatever the circumstances I would go and get a lawyer and get professional help.
I would be doing everything to get my babies back!!!
Would there be a reason to remove them today if they weren’t already removed? Be honest with yourself…11/2yrs. Seems like a long long time.i wish you and the kids the best of life and encourage you to have a great supportive team…
I spent all my life sense the age of 2 yrs in the system and when they have their hands on you they hold on tight. If they want you to think what’s best for the kids that means you better get off your butt and come up with stuff they wouldn’t think of to impress them.In their world it doesnt matter what you k ow but what you can prove.
Well you should always fight for your kids no matter what. But if they are saying they are better off with foster then maybe they are… Why were they taken from you?
Im fighting the fight also except my two older girls and we have 50/50 except he got domicile over me due to me being homeless during our divorce.
So what’s the whole story here there is a beginning and an end and you’re in the middle what’s the story
Fucking rude people on here! If the person who asked for advice wants to have someone to talk to that has been a victim of DCF/CPS, PLEASE feel free to message me. I will definitely keep your anonymity. I’m SO SORRY you’re going through this! It’s enough of a nightmare to live without your children. You shouldn’t have to be made to feel like shit by people here!
Will need the full story to make a valid comment…
you keep fighting for your children and don’t you ever give up you are right what is best for your children is home with you as long as you can provide a good stable home for your children children are going to fight I’ve never had to deal with CPS my children are grown and my granddaughter is 18 but my son and my daughter fought from day one and in their thirties they still fight but they love each other they would do anything for the other one or anything for their mom so you keep going girl don’t you ever let them tell you different I’ll say a prayer for you
Join the page one baby at a time
In my state after a year and a half ,the children are adopted ,the judges decided a couple of years ago that its in the best interest of the children after this long not to have there lives disrupted again .
Cos is disgusting is not doing even close to the job they were supposed to. Always better for the kids to be with parents always!
This is way too vague and there are no details so I don’t know how to give you any advice. At least explain why they were removed in the first place.
Always fight. So they know you want them desperately. Unless they themselves tell you otherwise. And even then work out regular visitation. Keep fighting. They need to know you tried.
You’re asking facebook if you should fight for your kids? Jeez… what is the world coming to?
I would keep fighting and jumping through every single hoop thrown my way to get my babies back! Don’t give up Mama:heartbeat:
You lost them for a reason. Think of their welfare first.
Follow the case plan. Bust your ass. Kids are always better with their parents. Not sure what the back story is but the case plan is always the same. If you are on drugs- get sober. Do the N/A classes n piss clean. Get a home that is appropriate for how many kids you have. And get a job to support the kids you have. And don’t forget parent classes. Every cps case comes with a case plan. A year n half sounds like things aren’t done with your case plan. DO IT. There should never be a question to fight for your children. Step up as a mother. Those kids need a stable mother. Good luck to you.
A year and a half is the time frame in which the court gives parents to prove they are fit. You did not do that. You gambled with your children’s lives and you lost.
Fight Mama and never give up!
who takes kids from a mother just because the kids don’t get along sorry but no one does as siblings will always fight it’s the way things go… there is definitely more to this then your saying
why were they took in the first place? Is your house clean? Heat, water, & electricity on? Food in fridge? Going to school on time everyday? Bathed every other day? Do you treat them right? There’s a lot of factors they look at… I don’t know why you had them took because I know there’s a lot of stupid reasons (like a enemy calling) and a lot of good ones, but make sure your good before you try to fight, look at what was wrong (in their eyes) and fix it. Examples: Breakup with the man you have a ppo on,and don’t let him around, get a job if you already don’t have one, stat your own online business, my point is do something that shows your trying or bettering yourself, show them your capable of being a mother
My kids were removed the same amount of time ago because dad and I had a drug addiction, we have been clean for over a year now and I get one kid back next week and the other in April. It helps that I had a baby also, who’s been with me since birth. All three are full siblings. I’m sorry your going through this, you need to change whatever the reason was they were taken and prove it, go to scheduled visits all court appearances etc.
Keep fighting mama…
Fight fight and fight some more !!! You are the parent and kids can bond with anyone at any time it means nothing , but never ever listen to that sentence ever again , you should think about what’s best !! Just be careful , or you will loose them , plus maybe find another lawyer who will fight even harder
Nobody knows your situation but you you know if you’re best for your kids and if you feel you are be ready to put up a fight i had to fight for my son when i turned 18 and got out of the system they tried everything to terminate my rights but God was by my side because when i tell you the judge seen right through my case he granted me full custody of my son it’s not going to be easy but if you can’t see your life without your kids in it fight with everything in you
I think she means that the children fought so bad and/or violently even that she didn’t have control over the situation or able to handle it. I’m guessing they took them out of possible neglect (CPS term ) because she wasn’t strong enough emotionally, mentally or even physically. She needed help not to have her kids taken away for 18+ months and being told someone else with the skills to handle this likes them a lot now and you can’t have YOUR CHILDREN BACK EVER!!! WTF? Was she given any counseling or gone to classes, a case manager? This is terrible where exactly did she go wrong by not being able to stop kids from fighting? Fight until your last breath, fight until you think you just might die, fight fight fight those are your babies!
I went through the same troubles! I got my shit togther and got a lawyer! It took a little over a year and a half to get my child back! And he was in 9 foster homes! People told me forever I was a shitty person and parent! Which was BS! Your children belong with you! If your lawyers not on your side find a new one!
Obviously there’s a reason this happened and why the courts think you shouldn’t have them, we clearly have not gotten the full story
WHY were they removed from your custody?
Speaking from my own personal experience SOMETIMES the best thing for the children is to let them have a chance at a life you may not be able to provide for them
Fight until you cant fight no more. Never GIVE UP
Tbh the courts did this to me. When i was younger i was taken from my mom. My foster parents bonded really well with me and before the court date came up they asked me specifically if i had wanted to go home to my mom or stay with them. I chose my mom because i love her with all my heart. Its not uncommon for them to want to place your children elsewhere nor is it uncommon for them to make you jump through a million and one hoops but keep fighting mama!
Depends on why they were taken away. Have you and your household situation improved? Is there evidence that everything is fixed to their standard? If not then be upset with yourself, and fight harder to bring your kids home. That should be your goal.
Foster mom here, so I’m sure I am super biased. In a year and a half, you have a plan to follow. If you are not following the plan, attending counseling, drug tests, visits, and able to provide with a job/housing, then you aren’t doing your part to get your kids back. Many parents wait until the end, when they see termination/adoption coming and decide to try at the very end when it is too late. If your own lawyer, who knows the case, is telling you that the kids have a better life in their current home, then that speaks volumes.
Nobody knows the whole story so how can we give you advice. Why were they taken from you? Have you followed all the things cps wants you to do to get them back? They’re your children you should never give up on them, but if you’re not bettering your situation to the courts satisfaction then you really need to ask yourself if you are what’s best for them
Don’t ever give up on your kids fight mamma you gave birth to them babies there yours always should be at home with you us mother’s protect our babies il die for my kids take a bullet anyday
Fight as hard as you feel!
Don’t let them put doubt in your heart!
I think it really depends on why they were taken away…
This scenario sounds odd… the first thing the court would have recommended is ‘Family reunification’ and classes that you would have had to do. A Life Plan. Within the 6-12 months after they were taken away, you would have been orders to go to ALL your classes and therapy sessions (or whatever they recommended you go to (free of charge) of course. Plus have visits. They should have begun to transition the children back to you. CPS also helps you find a place to live and a job. It’s basically how hard the parent wants to work to get their kids back. The court normally doesn’t look fondly at a parent who misses court dates or doesn’t fulfill their classes or test positive for drugs. Or a parent who gives every excuse in the book to place blame on everyone but themselves on why they don’t have a job/finished classes or tested clean. From My experience,
CPS does everything they can to help the parent get their kids back. But it’s normally the parent that falls behind and stays complacent with not fulfilling their court ordered obligations for the Kids.
As a foster kid myself who got adopted into a loving home. If you lost your kids for a reason then let them go. My mom was a drug addict and couldn’t get right. And she tried so hard. But in the end she said she wanted me to have a life that she could never give me. Honestly I have no idea where I would be if I had stayed with her. She recently died of an overdose at the age of 39. Do what’s best for the kids even if it’s not the best for you.
Get a better lawyer! I dont know why they were removed but I know if my kids were removed I’d work 20 hr days save money and get the BEST lawyer around
No advice for this but prayers for you and your children
Fight!!! Whatever you got to do DO IT!!!
Wow. Mother fuckers are rude as shit. Get off your high horse and give the woman positive thoughts and or statements or shut the fuck up. Seriously, if you aren’t in “ those “ shoes and can’t acknowledge that maybe everyone can’t “ feel” exactly what the situation is via media text… bug off!
Positive thoughts And prayers to you whomever you are, btw.
Honestly, you give no background info whatsoever. We have no idea why they were taken and then steps you’ve taken in attempt to get them back. Ask yourself can you provide a better and healthier home than the foster parents they’re with? How would it affect them to be moved back into your home? Have they been through therapy to address why they were taken from you? It’s not as easy as just saying “those are your babies, fight for them”. For all we know you stayed with a man who was molesting them, or you are a drug addict who has a long history of not staying sober and neglecting them, or you lost your shit and beat them, or maybe you just have depression and you weren’t cleaning your home and now you’re better. Take your emotions out of it and consider the impacts on your children for all potential situations.
Hmmmm…so your own attorney suggested you think about what is best for your kids?
It depends. Why where the kids taken away in the first place? Are they in a better environment now and will have a better life where they are? If not then fight for them but if you think you can’t give them a good life and a life they deserve then leave them be
You never give up, period. You do everything you can to make your situation the best it can be for having your kids and fight, fight, fight. I had to fight for 3 years to get mine back and all the charges on me and my husband had been proven false but they still wanted to keep my kids. I took it to the state supreme Court and was willing to go higher till I won back my kids.
I think you should do what is best for your kids. I feel just with the lack in information that they were taken for good reason. If they are being loved and fully taken care of, why uproot them? Especially if you couldnt offer a comfortable living condition. I would think most judges and courts would be pretty good at assessing the situation. If your own lawyer wanted you to stop and think if taking them back is really best for them, I’d say he is being nice in telling you that they are better off where they are.
Need way more information to answer you. Why were your kids removed from care? Have you been following your case plan? The kids not getting along isn’t usually a reason to separate them. Is one child a danger to the others? Of so, is there a safety plan for that?
I’m a foster mom now of a 3 year old who said she was abused by the dad but they want to put her back in that situation
Fight for them I would never give up on my kids
Fight it will haunt your whole life,now if you really want them fight! If you don’t,then let be,one of these two choices is it!
No one can be better for your kids than you! NEVER GIVE UP, AND FIGHT ! CPS is a joke and drags their feet and literally just doesn’t give a crap! Comply and get your babies. FIGHT. PERIOD.
It really depends on the situation of why the kids were taken away in the first place. I’m not saying you’re a bad mom and in no way am I a perfect parent but CPS doesn’t just go around taking kids from there families and the court system tries to reunite kids with their families most of the time.
Don’t fuck up and get your kids taken, all I’ve got to say. I’ve had cps cases before, both my babies are home with me though if you don’t want your kids, don’t fight it. Simple as that.
There’s really not enough information here for anyone to answer this. For a child to be removed from his/her home there needs to be pretty significant issues and the goal of CPS is ALWAYS reunification, parents are given plans that they need to follow in order to get their kids back
I just want to say something. For those who say “must have been a good reason because they do not usually just go around taking kids” ummm less than 20% of the approx 400,000 children currently in Forster care in America are actually abused! The other 80% were families who were simply down on their luck ~ maybe need food stamps which makes them a target sorry it does… So yea kids get taken everyday and shouldn’t be. Of the 80% in care that shouldn’t be less than 8% will be returned not because the Mom/Dad didn’t try very hard, mostly because they lack the money to fight with a paid by them lawyer. The families that win? Always always always have an attorney they pay for. I’d bet you money the OP has a “court appointed lawyer” who’s thinking about what’s best for him overworked caseload
If even YOUR attornery said it would be best for them to stay, then let them go cause there is obviously a reason why they were taken, and why everyone thinks they’d be better off there.
Why’d you lose them in the first place??? If it was reason enough to have them removed maybe you don’t deserve them back.
Fight them! I know I would.
Fix whatever is broken and then you’ll be the mom they need. If you haven’t fixed the problem that must have existed, then you won’t likely get them back. Hopefully, they’re being well-cared for.
Fight for your kids! So many CPS agencies are corrupt and only do stuff for the money. Research it if you don’t believe me. Do not give up!
There has to be way more to this story. Was the program worked to get them back was visitation followed how old are the kids etc
I’m a foster parent. Fight for your babies! It doesn’t matter what your past may have in it, if you’ve taken the steps to work your case plan then you need your babies back! Reunification is always the goal, no matter if their is a bond or not! Kids deserve to be with their bio family if they’re healthy enough to parent. We had a babe who was 13 months old when he came to us and we had them for 2 years. They just went home last week were so happy that we could fight along side the bios to get them their kid back! Please don’t stop fighting
Why did they get taken away? Have you fixed the things in your life that got them taken away? Do you go to ALL scheduled visitations?
This post doesnt give much information as why your children were taken away from you. Drugs, abuse? It is been 1.5 years. They adjusted and if they are taken care of they most likely wish to stay there.
Again. Tough to answer as we do not know any history on it.
I’m sorry to tell you this, but because of so little information about why they were taken, and the fact that your lawyer is telling you to stop and think about what’s best for them, I’m going to say they may be fine were they are. CPS dosen’t go around just taken kids from there familys just for the hell of it , and there good for wanting to keep familys together, or reunite familys. There are things that they will let you know you have to do.
You fight for your children. No matter what. That’s what we do as parents.
Speaking from experience growing up in the system you come to realize how corrupt the system really is more people need to actually tell their story from what happened as a child growing up in foster care I’ve seen myself kids come in that would be better off in their own homes but we’re taking because of stupid reasons and yet there are kids out there being abused and treated a lot worse that are still sitting at home with their biological parents The system is a failure for children and I do not agree with it every child deserves to be loved no child deserves to be gave up on… never stop fighting for your children.
Bull shit that’s not why you ain’t getting you’re kids back
CPS has been wrong before. Bonding with foster parents. Is not a reason for them not to be home . Especially if you have jumped through their hoops.