Guys. I need help! I need some non-biased input. I am desperate at this point!
My children do Not listen. They not only do not listen, they are making wrong choices intentionally to try and upset people. They are also becoming very aggressive too. When they get reprimanded anymore they even smile. It’s highly upsetting! And, in my opinion, not normal behavior. They did not used to be this way though. This has been transpiring over the last year.
They are ages 5 and 7.
It’s even becoming such a problem that we are losing friends over it. People have started not inviting us to their homes now.
My circle is already fairly small, so it’s just that much more upsetting.
The culprit is their dad. Him and I have not been together for almost 6 years now, but he has only had overnight rights to them for about 3 years. In those 3 years I have noticed a decline in their emotional well being, but it steadily gets worse… and lately it’s been BAD.
He is a miserable person. He doesn’t have many friends. He’s rude you strangers. He’s what I call the epitome of the saying “rudeness is the weak man’s attempt at strength”.
He was abusive towards me in every way when together.
It got so bad that I had started planning a secret escape from him when I was pregnant with our youngest child. He found out about my secret storage unit and plans to leave him and he lawyered up Quick. He was the first to file anything and he’s got tons of money to blow on this legal stuff; I don’t. So he got the upper hand.
Since then I’ve been on the defense, having to spend money to prove that I’m a stable person and a fit mother. He’s a text book narcissistic sociopath.
In my state, b/c he has never hurt the children, he still gets normal rights to them. We split 50/50 and I’m the residential parent.
He’s never been able to prove that I’m unfit (b/c I’m not. I’m a Good mom), so he has seemingly been changing his tactics in his attempts to hurt me. That seems to be his life’s mission is to hurt me. I was never anything but completely good and pure to him.
He has now started using our kids to hurt me.
I’ve had our youngest tell me that “daddy doesn’t respect you, so why should I?” He continues to talk bad about me in front of them or to them. Yet, he is the one that requested it be put in our court document that we cannot speak ill like that or else we are in contempt.
Lately he’s been seemingly playing this victim and telling them (so I’ve been told) that it’s all my fault that we are not a family, it’s my fault that we don’t live together, and that he “wants to be a family and live together, but your mommy doesn’t want that.”
They act like they’re resenting me for it too.
I’ve mentioned counseling/therapy for them, but their dad and I have to agree 50/50 on everything… and of course he doesn’t. They need professional help and interventions though, in my opinion.
How would you handle this?