My husband and I have been together for almost 11 years and we have 5 kids together. An 8 year old,7year old, 6 year old, 4 year old and an 8 month old. I have been dealing with alot since the beginning of this year. My dad was really sick and had a ton of appointments every week he had about 2-3 appointments and not one of my brothers ( i have 6 brothers but 1 lives in Mexico) helped me. My sister (my only sister) would watch all my kids while I took my dad and my mom to his appointments. My dad passed away almost 3 months ago and that was the hardest time in my life because I pushed away my kids I pushed away my husband to plan my fathers funeral. In the midst of all my dads appointments i pushed away my 6 year old sons appointments. He has speech delay and was having all kinds of testing, he had therapy, and all other appointments. I know I shouldn’t have pushed his appointments away but it was like we all knew that time was limited with my dad. My husband was there for me everyday he even quit his job to take care of the kids while we went to the funeral home multiple times a week or doing carwashes to raise funds. He was there and I’m so thankful that even in my darkest days he brought a little light. He made sure that the room was cleaned the kids were fed and bathed and took a little stress away from me. Since my fathers passing it has been hard but I push threw for my kids, my mom and myself but I feel like I haven’t grieved my father. I try not to cry in front of my kids and I don’t. Now that he has been layed to rest I put my focus back onto my son and get all his appointments going and it has been rough.
I know a mother does alot for her kids and a wife does alot for her husband but man lately I’ve been feeling super stressed out and I just want to break. I want to cry, scream, and yell all my frustration out but I feel like since I’m a mom I’m not allowed to feel this type of way. I deal with ALL my sons appointments outside of school, in school he has I.E.P and he just got tested to see if he should be placed in R.S.P or mild to moderate classes. So I’m constantly checking in with his teacher or having an iep meeting or talking about my concerns for my son all while taking care of the other 4 kids while still dealing with the death of my father. Im home 24/7 I don’t go out ,I don’t have friends, I don’t smoke or drink. The kids are up my butt ALL day while their dad gets up and goes whenever he pleases. It freaking sucks that I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING. I guess I just want to get my frustration out
First I would like to say I am sorry for your loss. Your husband sounds like a understanding person to you so maybe you could talk to him about how your feeling. Then maybe he can help out with the kids while you are cleaning or doing whatever you have to do. If you let all your tears and emotions out it will help. Trust me I know this. I hope that you feel better and come up with a solution so you won’t feel so overwhelmed!
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