I'm after advice on whether or not I've overstepped.
Bit of backstory
My partner and I have been together 7 years we have a 3yr old and a 2 yr old. He has a 13yr old, 12yr old and 9 yr old from a previous relationship.
His 12 yr old is the sweetest kid, kind, caring goes out of his way to play with the youngest 2 when he’s staying with us, never wants any conflict to the point he will let his sibling physically push between him and however he’s sitting with or cuddling. However when he is with his mum and to a degree his dad he’s the middle child that does get over looked a bit. His aunts are also the same.
Now to the question. I took him to the school last Friday to talk about some fighting he had seen at school and his friends had been involved in, he was not. But he was freaking out because his “friends” had told him he was in as much trouble as him and he was gonna to get suspended. This upset him to the point of tears for 3 days and not wanting to go to school. So I took him when I found out to talk to the vice principle.
His mum is pissed at me saying I over stepped and that I should now that he is just over emotional and wanting attention, my partner is indifferent but his aunts agree with his mum?
What would you have done?
Ok if put my self in your shoes and my two older childrens dads wife (im not saying step mom because they have NEVER RAISED them they simply only visit them for a couple hrs ONCE a week and have never done anything more for my children he even stopped seeing them for like 2 years in totall and stuff and never have done appoitments, school nothing of that sort just visits for only like 4-6 once a week or even less because they dont go every week sometimes it takes like 1 month because he either busy or my kids dont want to go) so its just like them visiting a family member not a parent anyway if his wife did this yes i wiuld also be mad and say that she most definately iver stepped because she does nothing for my kids in any way, but if i look at it the other way and my husband (my two older childrens step-dad) did this i would not be mad (obiously) but i also dont think my kids bio dad would be either because he knows that mu husband supports his children he knows they live here with us 24/7 he knows that he is in their life more than he is. So when you flip the table again, if my childrens bio dad’s wife did this and was in my kids life more than me (there bio mom) then i dont think i would be mad at her because i know she felt comfortable enough to donit because she would be really involved in my childrens life, like for example how my husband is with my children, if she was how my husband is then yeah i wouldnt be mad because she “overstepped” beut in my situation i already explained why I WOULD BE MAD IF IT WAS BASED ON MY SITUATION. Shes not invloved and has no right.