Hello, would you post for me? I mainly just needed to vent, but I would like to hear feedback, also. Has anyone ever had good luck with marriage counseling? Long story short, and my SO hasn’t been in a very good place for about a year now. The most recent issue is, I found out my SO download a bunch of dating profiles the same night I told him to leave after we had a fight. The reason I made him leave was cause when we argue, he yells, he’s punched a few holes in the wall, and when I’m done arguing, he will push and push and push to keep the argument going-if that makes any sense. To myself, things clear, we weren’t split up. He just wouldn’t give me space at all. So I found out about the profiles by accident, I asked for the password to the Amazon account, and when I logged into that, it synced with Gmail for some reason, and I kept getting emails from tender, POF, all kinds of email. So then I looked for the welcome email for them, and it was the same date I asked him to leave. Obviously, I was upset cause we weren’t split up, nothing. I asked him about it, and he said that he loves me and only wants me, all the typical things you’d say when you get caught. Here’s how I feel, I feel lied to and cheated on in a way. He thinks it’s no big deal like he doesn’t care. How would you feel? Maybe I’m overreacting in a way? Has anyone ever had any good come out of marriage counseling?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Did marriage counseling work for you? - Mamas Uncut
Nope . First sign of the marriage isnt going to work.
If both parties want it and are willing to do the work then Yes it can be helpful.
If he’s not willing to go to counseling with you then he obviously doesn’t want the marriage to work
Yall are married and had a fight and he took that as you guys no longer being together? 
My EX was a chronic cheater, and an abusive drunk. I was so done. He agreed to marriage counseling. He began ok on day one. Showed up drunk on day 2, he stood up in the counselors face and threatened her. He spent day 3 and 4 at the bar. I asked her if she would continue supporting me through my divorce, because I was afraid He would talk me out of it. She did. 
I’m living happily ever after.
If both of you want it to work yes counseling will help. If you both don’t want it too it won’t. Also both of you have to open to counseling or else it’s a lost cause
When people show you who they are, believe them. You dont need a counselor to tell you that
No didn’t work for mine. I mean it’s good to talk about things in a safe space and get your point of view across for me it just made me realise I didn’t want to be in it anymore
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Did marriage counseling work for you? - Mamas Uncut
You told him to leave he didn’t do it this is on you.
He sounds toxic tbh.
Wow. He couldn’t even wait a day to do this? You don’t have to put up with someone doing the things he does when he’s angry. One day it could be you he hits. You might want to look into counseling for just yourself for now. If he wants counseling he should do individual. If the therapists think couples counseling would be helpful then they can arrange that.
You can’t ask a man to leave and not expect him to take you seriously as a break up.
Back onto the topic of the post- I’ve seen marriage counseling do amazing things. They’ll normally recommend separate sessions as well. Even if it’s just a few sessions.
If u have to post to a site, u already know how you want to handle the situation. Don’t wait for someone else to tell you
Counseling isn’t going to fix these issues. He clearly doesn’t care and you can’t force him to. Be strong. Be brave and KNOW YOUR WORTH!! You do not deserve to live in fear. You do not deserve to wonder why you’re not enough. Hold your head up and walk on. I know it hurts. I’ve been there. But as dark as this is, it does get better!!
It did not work for us. But instead of going to a social media site and asking for strangers opinions, I talked to my parents and my pastor. I made a decision that I could live with. And we have now been married 35 years.
I mean if you really want to find out hit me up the hubby and I will create a page and hit him up see if hes still f*cking around. 
. You don’t deserve that shit
Marriage counseling is a good idea. Even if it only helps y’all realize it’s a toxic relationship and y’all need to live apart. It can help you be better parents and better people.
Does any of this matter in reality? I’d you’re going to stay then let him cheat in peace. It’s the harsh truth. A guy will cheat if he wants to and there’s nothing you can do to stop him. So it’s either you dump him or accept his apologies and do counseling not only for yourself but with each other.
Value and love yourself, then you’ll learn to not tolerate this bs and be questioning whether or not to stay. The obvious answer is to leave.
You have many reasons to walk away…that’s just one.
Where will you be with this person 1 year from now ? Five years ?
Do you imagine yourself blissfully happy with him at " some point" ?
Oh Lordy. Marriage counseling was like a prison sentence. It helped him* look like an azz. But did not help my marriage both times. When it’s doomed it’s doomed. At least no one can say I didn’t try.
I’d be done. He’s toxic and aggressive.
No one signs up for dating sights because they’re bored. It’s intent to cheat plain and simple. TBH my ex forced me to go to counseling for myself because he said I*** was nuts harassing him** about cheating although I had no proof. He said if I didn’t go he would take my kids and have me claimed unfit. I was scared so I went. Long story short- he was cheating and after 4 months of the therapy he* forced me to go to, I learned to be strong and when his bitty put their nekkid pics all over my door, I told him to get tf out. 18 yrs, 3 kids, 37 yrs old no money no job - it’s been 13 yrs and I’ve never been so happy in all my life.
Marriage counseling will only work if both of you work at it. This doesn’t sound like a relationship that will work out if he turns to other women so easy.
If all it takes is a argument for a mf to turn around & do some disloyal shit then he definitely need to kick rocks that’s a snake in my eyes
He’s going to cheat if he hasn’t already. If he took the time to set up several profiles on dating sites he had that intention regardless of an argument
Yes counseling can work for willing parties
Marriage counseling only works if you both want the marriage to work. And from what you shared with us it appears he already has one foot out the door. But if y’all can’t argue without yelling and punching holes in things marriage counseling would be a waste of money and time
He’s invalidating your feelings because he knows he’s wrong and too childish to put that stupid ass ego away. Toxic. I would try it and if he’s not willing then do you boo.
Childish mixed with self centered. Gross combination.
He has probably already cheated on you. That’s why he’s always picking fights with you. If he’s punching walls, what are you waiting for?? Leave before he physically harms you.
I would leave, his aggressive behaviour in an argument for one is terrible. How are you meant to communicate your feelings etc if you are too scared he is going to become enraged each argument. Secondly, if he hopped onto dating sites as quick as that, I’d be concerned at his true feelings for you. Goodluck with it all. Hope you can figure this out for your inner peace
Hmm! My ex was dating/talking to a yank on FB whilst we were in counselling (35 yrs of marriage) and all the time I was being totally honest, open and vulnerable in the sessions. ( I did learn a lot though)
Someone has already mentioned counselling only works if both of you want it to.
Love yourself and move on, he doesn’t care for you.
OH! The yank moved to Australia and they married 3 months after we split. I wish them ALL the happiness.
Good luck.
He sounds toxic and I’m sure that wasn’t the first time he created a profile or cheated. He isnt a man, my husband and I have been in arguments, like in most relationships, and not once has he punched a whole in the wall. That man will eventually take a swing at you. He doesn’t need marriage counseling. He needs anger management.
I’m going through counseling right now and its had amazing results for my relationship. The thing is that for marriage counseling to work, you both have to be 100% commited to it and have the desire to make things work. If not, you’ll lose your money.
Run! He’s showing he’s violent. He won’t change. Get rid of him and move on with your life! There are lots of good and decent men out there…believe it or not! You’re better than that!
Bigger issue is punching the holes in the walls… one day it might not be a wall.
He yells, punches the wall, and tries to continue or escalate an argument when it’s over. I have to wonder when it will be you instead of the wall. I don’t know if marital counseling will help. Seems like he might have an anger management problem. Maybe counseling for yourself will help you realize that he could be dangerous. Get the number of a domestic violence hotline in your area and talk to them about the cycle of violence please. When he punches the wall he is either out of control or using it as a way to threaten you.
You sound toxic too
He won’t let you finish the arguement.
This is toxic on both sides at this point your gunning each other.
Leave. Let him leave.
Let yourself leave. And don’t ever ever think you can hold a man. By power.
That’s not the way.
Sorry your being duped but at same time I think you’ve pushed him there.
So I’m sorry for the husband too. This relationship needs be over at this point it be till the death. One of you will gun the other or bring serious harm.
Leave. Especially during covid times it’s harder but. Would you stay at my house if I treated you this way.
Heck no.
He stepped noutbthe relationship first yes so be amicable pack his shit leave outside. And have his side bicth take care of him 
Here don’t sink beneath his level.
Your being exactly what he built into your so fight it. Do you be you and get rid off this toxic relationship.
Gosh I love the single life I been with a complete asshole before and almost lost my life due to it.
Please please follow your intuition this is your kind telling you to leave. And your fighting it. Your fighting it so much your becoming toxic.
X leave. Save yourself. Love. Them but leave them I love me ex always will but he treated me disgustingly even had get police involved. Domestic abuse emotional abuse even down to me being six stone I once was very ill he turned me very toxic.
I didn’t even enjoy life at one point. This was on going for four years. Now I’m year out. Exactly to this month actually congrats myself later. ---- and it’s been hell’s fight keep my sane self alive. But she’s here now. And I promise you don’t need a man to be happy.
Security of your self respect should be enough over anyone company. Do I mis and love my ex of course disnhe go and do the same someone else. Yes. As previous. Before me I wasn’t aware.
He was a very dangerous man.
Now I strong and mentally better. O do suffer PTSD. But. I starting my life over. Respected safe and most off all loved by me. I didn’t love myself before and that’s why I allowed it happen.
Gotta fight for what’s right.
You don’t need a man. Hunny. Not one like that too many women feel lonely alone.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Did marriage counseling work for you? - Mamas Uncut
Its slowly working for us.
I feel he reacted that way in the moment. Doesn’t mean he acted on it. Def counseling sounds good but sounds like he needs it on his own. He needs to learn not to keep pushing a argument and also violence isn’t good.
You told him to leave. He probably thought yall were broke up. 🤷🤷
Nope but prepared me when I left
I’ve had it go both ways. It really just depends how open he is to counseling, if he participates and he is really willing to make the changes necessary
An alcoholic going to AA with zero intent to quit is about the same as a person going to marriage counseling who has no intentions of changing. If you have to bring up the idea and push for it to happen then its not the same as both wanting to fix things.
Some of the main points of being with someone is that they are ment to care about you and how you feel and your suppose to be able to trust them 100%, punching shit and forcing arguments is unacceptable. He sounds like a draining narcissist brat and the best thing you can do for yourself is get yourself away from him even if it’s just for a night or 2 to breathe and get your thoughts and feelings in order, personally I’d leave though
Just leave him.
It’s hard but I left my baby daddy.
I’m in a women shelter right now with my girl.
We had marriage counseling in 2019. I swore he was the issue. Oh . it was me.
I had to change.
Lol, you’re not over reacting. I mean you did tell him to get out, so he was probably upset. I’d dig deeper and see if he actually messaged anyone, if so, you have more of a reason to be upset. I’d be upset at the idea of him wanting to find someone else to fuck, but yea, I’d just talk to him about it.
First thing he needs is anger management .punching holes in the wall and pushing to keep the fight going is anger issues.and while he is working on that go to marriage counseling …but remember it will only work if you both really want to save your marriage
At this point, what do you have to lose? If you’re both willing to put in the time, get real honest with yourselves and each other, and do the necessary work, it’ll work. If not, it won’t. One person can’t do it all. A marriage takes two committed people, counseling is no different. You need to decide if you see potential in him to change and become a better man and husband, and that is determined on if his mind and heart are open to not only listening but actively making the effort to change by choosing to his change his behavior, daily. If he isn’t at that place, you cut your losses now.
Both people need to be willing to work on the issues. Most/many clients wait too long when the marriage is already heading for disaster
Either way. Individual counseling would benefit you and your husband- anger and baiting behavior
Best wishes
I honestly wouldn’t even bother with marriage counseling. He sounds toxic and needs to work on himself first.
He knew what he was doing. Counseling only prolongs the problem. Move on
Just out of curiosity, how would counseling change the fact that your husband created dating apps on his phone behind your back? seems like that is something counseling cannot fix and inherently within him. Life’s too short. Move it on and do you.
So he causes and antagonizes you into fights, punches holes in walls of your house and immediately had profiles made on dating apps? Yeah you can do better than that! I don’t care if he thought you “broke up” lol if you love someone you don’t immediately go searching for love lol. If it comes to you that’s a different story but tinder and pof, that’s not good!
Punch a hole in his face next time 
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Did marriage counseling work for you? - Mamas Uncut
Time to leave. Do not ever allow a man to disrespect you and treat you badly. I personally wouldn’t go to counseling. In my experience, they never change. Good luck to you. Just remember, you are worthy of happiness and respect.
No didn’t help because he always had to be right and have people on his side. Finally left after 42 years of marriage and now married to a wonderful sane and loving man. Should have done that sooner.
He do it again they never change it will go on and on.Go and find some one who love you.
Run away, some day he will hit you!
Run and run fast away from him
Have done a lot of counseling in the last 25 or more years. Have discovered that a relationship with God was the only thing that brought a true change in relationship. Prayer is a powerful force…what happens is that you change directions and the follow Way of peace. May not have been what you wanted to hear but thus far is the only thing. I have seen work…good luck and God bless you.
Any counseling works only if you want it to find your own space sounds like you deserve a new start god bless praying
Only if BOTH people are committed to making changes. My eventual ex went, grudgingly, two or three times. After the counselor made it clear that HE would have to make some changes, he refused to continue.
You do not need a marriage counselor. You need a Divorce Attorney!
You are not overreacting. I think you are past Marriage counseling. Being together should not be so hard.
No. I think it made things worse .The marriage counselor said we should have a trial separation and date each other. Maybe we would miss each other.
My husband agreed. He moves out. I get divorce papers the next day.
Leave and don’t look back unless you like living with him and all his girlfriend’s will be like that forever
Never been to a marriage counselor and I wouldn’t go I just have a funny feeling that go home and laugh about things that are really bothering people I don’t trust a marriage counselor I wouldn’t tell them anything
When someone shows you who they are; you have a choice to make.
Marriage counseling works if both parties are honestly all in to work on it. My ex only did it to say he did, he never intended to stay with me.
If he is yelling and screaming irrationally and destroying property it is only a matter of time before he start hitting you instead of the walls. Leave now for your own safety. No marriage is worth your safety.
Both people have to be committed to each other and commit to the therapy for it to work. It’s not a magic wand. The therapist can only show you what needs changing
He needs anger management and you both need to read the books on The 5 Love Languages. But marriage counseling would shed light on him to open up. If he is unwilling and the way it sounds his mental abuse, verbal abuse is not worth sticking around. Been there and thought marriage counseling would help but ended up going myself. Found out that my first two ex’s would never change and I deserved better. If he is unwilling to get help then tell him it is over if he really loves you then he will get help.
Why is this a question save your money. Let him have his moment. Tell him he will not be touching you since he is seeking other Vaginas.Work find yourself your own place. One day while he is at work have 2 of your girlfriends take off from work and yourself. Start packing up what you want and bounce. Buy an air bed if you have to a small tv for now and Don’t look back
After my ex’s 1st affair we went to lots of therapy. He cried and cried. He was soooo sorry. Then he cheated again.
Lesson learned:
A leopard doesn’t change it’s spots.
Okay. Maybe he downloaded these profiles because he was scared and insecure.
Or maybe you have left out even more egregious behavior on his part. He is immature, and doesn’t know how to love you.
These may be reasons to do couples counseling.
But if he won’t.
Run. He’s not for you.
Honestly it sounds like he is gaslighting you making you feel bad about what he is doing. And punching holes in walls and yelling is intimidation and abuse. Counseling might work but i doubt it. I think there is a much bigger underlying problem there. Stay safe girl.
If you have to ask a counselor how to run your relationship then it’s doomed!
Well if you have a place to go then leave sometimes we stay and the situation doesn’t get any better I know cuz I done it twice I stayed and to Long relationships is he get any better I worked out left everything behind and took my kids and I made it I’m 64 years old my kids are grown I got grandchildren now it’s good I won’t let a man destroy my life
No good came from my marriage counseling. The councilor keeps telling me it was all in my head. She was our nanny. They are now married and have 2 kids. He was cheating on me for a couple of years with her and I just suspected only to be told it was all in my head.
So no councling did not work for me. BTW the nanny was 19
I’m sorry this has been so hard and unfulfilling for you. I’m a therapist. To be honest marriage counseling works. But only if both parties are 100% in it. It’s apparently not true for your SO and that won’t work. But you yourself may benefit from therapy to express yourself and figure out your options going forward. Best wishes. 
He needs anger management if he’s punching holes in the wall. I hope children aren’t part of the picture and seeing this?
Counseling only works if you both are emotional there and tell the truth and listen. He will say what he thinks he should be saying. And the counselor is not one sided… If you tolerate his behavior, it’s not worth wasting your life over… Move on and find someone that will respect and love only you.
So you know the date. He was pissed and probably weighing his options. Imo the important part is how many times did he log in and/or message someone once he was back home?
She is not married to this person. The person is her SO. She has NO reason to stay
No because I went to one, she wasn’t even married, how can they give advice on marriage when there not married
Significant other? You told him to leave because of the dating sites? So you are not “his” Significant Other? So what other evidence do you want for him to tell you that you ARE NOT HIS SO? Don’t be afraid to leave, be afraid to stay.
What is his investment in remaining together going through hell? That’s my first question! He needs the status quo to remain why? Yes marriage counseling can work but he has multiple needs
I mean if you told him you wanted space and all he did was make some profiles but didn’t even use them I definitely think you are overreacting.
Couples counseling works if you both participate
If their is no trust 
it’s like cancer you need to cut it out 