Did my friend like me more than a friend, what can I do now?

About 4 years ago I became very close with someone. So close we was never apart. We had many fun times, laughs, cries. Was such a good friend. Someone I got to hear from everyday. Got to know. Yes we had our spouts of times where we got mad at one another or didn't speak but always got back to one another. I helped depression, exes and so on. I bought things knowing he didn't have much. Because I knew it put a smile on that face. To see him happy was the highlight of my day. He offered the best hugs a friend could offer. He was also there for me in many ways as well. He would talk about me so much to others people thought maybe he fell in love with me . But of coarse family wouldn't approve of anything. I really couldn't imagine my life with out him. Well I noticed as the years past we kinda got distant. Less talking. Less hanging out. Wouldn't tell me as much. It just changed. Even called me names that hurt. I mean I was quilty out of anger and did the same back. Now I am told he has nothing to say to me and he will never speak to me again. I really don't know what went wrong or what happened. He was my true friend. And now that he isn't speaking to me I won't lie my heart just hurts and feels so sad. It is not a feeling I like to have. I feel lost. Because I really have no one else. Just a few family members I speak to but no friends. So my point is how can I get rid of this feeling I have.? If he reaches out again do I respond or do I ignore him? I feel so conflicted. I just do not know what to do. Any advice would be so nice. Thanks all
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If what you feel is like you need closure, you should apologize for being childish as he was(men tend to be very childish when hurt), you should write to him, try to contact him or arrange to meet him, tell him you’d like to talk about whatever happened… I mean, do you love him? As a friend, as more than a friend?? You should be clear about that yourself, before you do anything, maybe there’s still love between you two, but you have to reach out to find out why he said all those things, good luck!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Did my friend like me more than a friend, what can I do now?

I would just simply be blunt and ask him. Explain that you weren’t sure if you were just friends or if he wanted more. Ask him where and why things took a turn. You won’t have any answers unless he gives them to you. By showing an interest in knowing if he truly wanted to be with you he will tell you. I always had guy friends growing up, there were so many I considered like a brother but found out later that they did actually like me but didn’t know how to tell me.

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Missed your shot. It’s too late

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Straight out ask him what went wrong

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You can always write him a letter too if he doesn’t want to talk to you.

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He probably did have feelings for you. I’ve made a lot of friends over the years I only liked as friends and some wanted more. When those finally realized my feelings for them will never change some stopped all contact. You’ll find your true friends and a SO that’ll be your best friend for life before you know it. Open your heart to new possibilities and enjoy life.

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He loved you but was to scared to make a move because he thought you were just friends and he eventually got sick of the pain he felt every time he saw you. If you want to rekindle things might want to make a bold move

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Sounds like YOU are in love with him

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Did my friend like me more than a friend, what can I do now?

Tell him how you feel, how you really feel, you have nothing more to loose and go from there… Good luck

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Did my friend like me more than a friend, what can I do now?

I’m not trying to sound bitchy here but that whole post was I I I I I I I I I I…I did this for him. I did that. I feel this way. My feelings are hurt. I am lonely. Someone doesnt turn from a best friend to someone telling you they never want to speak to you or see you again over nothing. Something big had to of happened. And my guess would be A) he got tired of the I I ME MY B) you made him feel like a charity case and Im almost positive that one is true because instead of just explaining that you had a close friend youre on bad terms with do you need to get over it or try you felt it necessary to come tell a bunch of strangers how much you did for this friend thru yalls “friendship” I do say that loosely because REAL friends don’t keep a score board of everything they have done for you or do things because they feel sorry for you because you dont have much of anything. Just think of it like when you see a homeless person on the street are you one of those ppl that has to pull a camera out and shove it in their face to show the world what a good thing they did for the poor homeless person. Do people not realize by now that doesn’t help them that humiliates them for you to feel better about yourself. Stop keeping score of what you do for people if you do something it should be out of the kindness of your heart to help them not to make you feel better and certainly not for your score card for you to pull out to tell people what you did for someone 4 years ago now they are being mean not talking to you how dare they. That is so messed up but that is EXACTLY what this post sounds like to me. I feel bad for him i can only imagine what it was like. Leave the man alone. Take it as a lesson learned about how to treat relationships in the future.

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If you miss your friend you should reach out to him and tell him that. What would you lose? A bit of pride maybe. The good that could happen, out weighs the bad. Also you sound as if you are an adult, as such just be honest with your feelings and see what happens. Why play games.

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Probably his new girlfriend didn’t approve of his friendship with you. Move on. Don’t let anyone be the only source of happiness.

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As you get older, you change. Everyone does. People grow apart and go their own ways. Maybe your friend got a girlfriend, maybe he did really love you and feels ashamed for wasting time, maybe he really was a true friend. I promise, you will drive yourself crazy with the what ifs. Don’t do it. Does he still have a way to contact you? If so then give him space and let him come to you. If not, try to keep yourself occupied. My best friend passed away 2 years ago, she was hit and killed by a intoxicated driver, I was the last person to have talked to her 20 minutes before she died she had texted me I’m on my way home ill call you soon…but it was her fiance that called me… I hadn’t been close to anyone else since then. We were beasties for 14 years. No one will ever fill that place but please don’t drive yourself crazy with the what ifs

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I’d reach out and ask why. Is he with someone now and maybe the girlfriend doesn’t want him to be friends with you because you’re a female. Sounds like you were just good friends. Men usually make the first move and I think you would have known by now if it was more than a friendship.

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You could always reach out and ask why but there’s no guarantee of an answer. I had a close friend do the same and found out from a mutual friend later it was because his new girlfriend told him to cut me off.

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She never said he got a girlfriend. Where did you all get that? Don’t you remember what you read?

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All I got from this post is “ME” everything about YOU, what you did, what you gave him, how you feel… No one just ignores you, says bad things to you and never wants to speak to you again FOR NO REASON! If you want advice or any sort of feedback try being a bit more honest about what’s been happening. No one just becomes distant there was obviously a trigger which made him pull away. Maybe you made him feel like a charity case, maybe you made him feel less like a man by buying things he could not afford etc. You sound like you were super close so ring him up make a date and ask him point blank what’s up, if you haven’t done anything wrong you deserve an explanation as to why his being this way. Get closure and move on if he doesn’t want to be your friend anymore. I’m pretty sure it hurts but you cannot force someone to be or act like they did 4 years ago, people change, they grow apart and they move on. Get to the bottom of things and be honest about how you feel…

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I would encourage you to feel your feelings and pay attention to how your body reacts then breathe and let it go.

Think he was just sponging off on y.move on don’t still entertain him

If someone os going to treat you like that you are better off without him. Delete and block. Move on.

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It seems like something BAD happened between you guys … at least to me…

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Ask him what you said or did.

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Honestly if you don’t reach out first you are always gonna have the “what if” in the back of your head especially if you wait on him to message first considering he did say he wasn’t gonna talk to you anymore. You need the closer to move on if that’s what y’all come to an agreement on. Y’all both sound like adults and that’s what y’all need to be. Ask the questions you need to ask , get it off your chest and find out why everything went the way it did.

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Tell him you’ll give him a hummer ., he’ll respond .

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Did my friend like me more than a friend, what can I do now?

Sounds like he did and we he finally realized that you didn’t feel the same way. He felt used and rejected and hurt and lased out by saying mean things. And walking away So figure out how you feel about him and try to reach out and apologize if you can and try to have a heart to heart conversation about what happened. He may have have moved on with someone else. But you can reach out and apologize for anything you might have done to hurt him in the past .If he refuses to talk to you then walk away and move on yourself.

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Try to reach out to him. If he responds see what happened and if u can try to repair things. If he doesn’t respond then let him go.

Just be genuine. Friendships come and go unfortunately. If you want connection and they offer it, take it.

Forgiveness is an admirable quality

He got tired of being in the friend zone, let him go so he can find someone who really can give him what he wants and what he needs, you have to respect his feelings.

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Let him be he’s happy,

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He’s probably distancing himself from you because he knows he can’t go any further with you" some people just can’t " just be friends" period

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I wish more people had the courage to speak on their true feelings. I wish passive aggression wasn’t the primary method of conversation between people. I wish people didn’t expect others to be mind readers, and then be uncomfy with someone who does what they think to ask.

I’m sorry you have to go through this. apparently in other countries it’s preferred to be direct… more reasons I wanna move out of this country.

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Girl you definitely missed your shot. Of course after attempting numerous x he was gonna give up and push u away cause in his head he thought u didn’t want him as that as for his own protection of his heart he pushed u away and u may think it was easy on him but I can guarantee it wasn’t cause he was obviously in love with you but u were too blind to see it.

This is what happened to me. I called him my brother and everything. But I didn’t return those feelings. He was just my best friend.
He got mad that the feelings he was feeling were one sided and he absolutely lost it on me. Called me names, and etc.
I was so hurt. But I had no other option but to move along.

Be an adult ask him what the issue is.

But the worst part if he just wants to up and leave without saying anything he can. Sometimes we don’t get answers why people don’t want us anymore and yah it definitely sucks. But unless you just ask him nothing you can honestly do

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Maybe he got tired of being in the friend zone and figured for his own good he needed to distance himself

Sounds like a narcissist….

Ask him straight out what his feelings are towards you. If I had feelings for my best friend from high school I’d ask him. Men tend to like the direct approach

Contact him and ask what happened, what’s wrong, and how you can fix it.

Tbh friends come & go. Some are a lesson you need to learn. My bestie of 20+ yrs there was a gap in our friendship of a couple of yrs. I was on a bad path and we just went our separate ways for awhile. We found each other again (I happen to be on the best path of my life) and it was like there was no gap. If y’all are talking about each other like that, then it’s time to let him go. I would never talk to my bestie like that. I had another friend of almost 20yrs that we went our separate ways on. I don’t regret it. People grow or some stay the same and you grow from them. Just happens.

Your going to mourn the loss of a dear friend but it will get easier as time passes.

There was definitely feelings there men and women can’t just be friends one or the other wants something more from the other He’s probably just tired of being in the friend zone and is resentful now So if you don’t want something more maybe you should just let that lie the way it is because that’s not fair to him

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Were you guys friends with benefits?

From my personal view point, you were doing girlfriend stuff but kept him in the friend zone. He would pull back realizing this and things got patched up. It probably was for their own emotional well being to step back. Could be feelings were there and that wasn’t fair to either of you or you were draining them.
Respect boundaries. If you are a woman and he is obviously a man, you can’t treat those friendships the same. There have to be boundaries

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You can always be the one to reach out and express how you feel. You either gain your friend back, or still not have one. Not much to lose, but lots to gain.

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I agree there’s probably more to this story. However, to those being jerks and commenting on the “me, me, me” thing - she mentioned he helped her in many ways as well as her being just as guilty in the fights. Also, this is from her point of view - I’m sure we all get a little carried away in I did this or I thought this or I felt that when talking about being hurt. Try to be empathetic and understanding. As for what to do maybe something did happen you didn’t reveal or something you didn’t even realize. Maybe he met another woman and didn’t want to complicate things. Maybe he got tired of feeling like it was a relationship without it being one. Maybe family convinced him you weren’t a good friend. So many what if’s it can drive you crazy. Sometimes you have to move on with no closure. Sometimes it wasn’t an abrupt change but little changes over time you didn’t even notice. I think it feels like a sudden change when we weren’t prepared. Just take some time to let things settle and do your own thing. Find yourself and work on yourself. If, when, he is ready to talk he will reach out. By working on yourself you will be in a much better place to have a healthy conversation and really look at the big picture openly. Talk with a counselor. Again, don’t drive yourself crazy over the what if’s but focus on yourself and let things be for awhile.

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This friendship sounded very one sided and toxic in my opinion. You mention that you bought him this and that. Sounds like a bought friendship instead of a true one. Not saying that was intention. Sounds like he has moved on to someone else now. I may not be right but that’s my opinion after reading. For someone to just up and decide to never speak to you again (if nothing contributed to that) is someone you don’t need in your life. I would call him and ask for a reason to his behavior and then simply move on. Close that chapter in your life and move on.

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Reach out to him and talk to him to find out what happened and that you miss him. Maybe somebody lied and told him you said something that you really didnt… idk… find out. Communicate. And who cares if the family doesn’t approve. It’s yalls happiness not theirs.

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Do you. Find hobbies, find friends. Just do you. You can’t change the way others feel or react to things. All you can do is live your life.

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I would say the issue is with family approval if I had to take a wild guess!
Shadow work sooner rather than later so that Change and healing can occur and Let a sleeping dog lie

Is there a genuine reason that you can’t visit your friend, taking a homemade loaf, or similar, puting the jug on, and asking him, in love, how you have hurt him, and how much your are missing your friendship? This standoff between you, is really tormenting you, and that’s not healthy for you. Life is far to short to be wanting for him to come to you…

Men love to get what they want. When he calls. Don’t respond. It’s what he wants and should remember that. Friends isn’t a one sided word. That’s how it’s sounding here.

Hummmmerrr That’s the answer Walter Grogan The only trouble she won’t get her point across with her mouth filled anyway I wish them both the best of luck

Sounds like you like him more than a friend why don’t you just reach out and tell him how you feel

Sometimes friends can just out grow each other. It happens. I would just move on and try to make some new friends

I think he did like you and then he got scared because going from friends to a relationship is very scary so he decided to distance himself and lash out. He probably realized that if continued down the friends path he wouldn’t be able to handle it much longer and panicked. Or there could be a whole other ball game going on like he likes you but sense was just friends maybe he started seeing someone and they didn’t want you to hanging. (Believe me it happens) if you miss your friend then all you can do is reach out to him. You need to ask yourself some questions first though, are you prepared to deal with the fact that he might have moved on or that he still cares but just can’t be friends? Are you going to accept whatever happens and understand that sometimes things happen that we will never know the reason why. Good luck