Did you allow your older child in the room when you gave birth?

Curious is anyone has had their older child in the room when you delivered your baby? Thinking about having my step daughter in the room with us when I have our baby in August.She is 11. She says she would like it but I don’t know if she’s too young, if it would be weird, if we should just keep it us in the room so it’s more personal, etc. Would like to add we would of course make sure she doesn’t see anything she doesn’t need to, we would keep her either next to me or over in the room to the side.


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Did you allow your older child in the room when you gave birth?

As a retired OB nurse if someone wanted their other child in the room during birth we let them. It’s their birth experience. I would advise having someone there for the child though in case things got too intense. Then they can take them out of the room if needed.


I don’t see anything wrong with it. I would even let her watch the baby come out if she wanted to


My son (8) was in the room with the agreement that if it became too much or something went wrong dad would take him out which would have left me alone. The whole way through his dad gave a running biology lesson so not much supporting going on and now my 16 is adamant no kids for him. For us it all worked out well but just a few points to consider.

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I don’t think they are ever too young.
For us I would have needed a support person for my children, and I didn’t have one.
It’s your birthing experience, and a beautiful bonding time.

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I would honestly make it her decision! But before you get her all excited I would talk with your hospital to make sure she is allowed. Since covid a lot of birthing centers only allow the significant other, and one other person over 18!

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I would do it with my daughters & stepdaughter. If they really wanted to. But I wouldn’t want them to see me in pain if I knew they couldnt handle it. We have four girls. But due to covid nobody was allowed under 18 to be in delivery room.

I had my four year old son in the room when I gave birth to my daughter.

I don’t think it’s appropriate but to each there own I mean she can come in after

My 4 year old at the time was in the same room as me I had my 3rd home birth he wasn’t even phased by it he just watched his movie

I think it’s between the mom and dad or another adult not a child.

It is a very special bonding time

My 13 year old will be in the room with my husband & I.

I don’t see anything wrong with it, but would make sure all the parents are on board with it

I stayed in the room at 16 when my nephew was born. I was 12 or 13 when his brother was born, and the doc would not let me stay in the room; he said I was too young.

My oldest son was present but his mind blocked it out for him so I can’t really update long term study :person_shrugging::person_gesturing_ok:

My hospital didn’t allow anyone under 18 until after baby arrived

I don’t think it’s a good idea

I’m definitely not against it, but this is absolutely a conversation that bio mom needs to be included in on if she is around.  It’s not like going to a sleepover so it needs to be discussed by all parties. 


I think that her bio mom and dad should be the ones to make that call. Does her bio mom even know? So much information that has been left out. I do think that it would be a great experience for her, but you need to take in her moms feelings as well.


My boys are 18 years apart!:face_with_hand_over_mouth: …and yep, my son/ best friend held my hand when I gave birth to his little brother! He cried more than.i did when he was finally out! I left the decision to be in there totally up to him!

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I think its really up to you. Its about how you feel, what your comfortable with. As long as you and your baby is safe, thats all that matters in the end. She will have plenty of time to grow up on her own time.

I definitely wouldn’t. I have a 12 year old and even if he wanted to, it’s a hard no for me. I don’t think he would like it, because I’ve watched videos of home and water births with him and he wasn’t trying to watch the whole video, so he’ll just have to see his brother either in the hospital after or when we bring him home

My son was 11.5 when my daughter was born. He sat in the waiting room until she was born. He was the first one after his dad and I to hold her.

As a step mom, I say that should totally be up to her mom. I think shes too young, but that’s just my opinion.

They’re never too young just have a game plan if she can’t handle it and watch some birth videos together to both prepare and educate her.

I was 4 and 8 years old in the room when my sisters were born more because my mother had no other choice. I honestly wish I hadn’t been forced to sit there for hours and then witnessed that. The doctors made me stand right there and stare at my mother’s crotch.

I think it would be a nice way for her to bond with you and her new sibling.

Let her!! It will be a great bonding experience for her :heart:

My suggestion is that you let her in the room but have a designated person just for her. To keep an eye on her and to bring her out if its to much.

I would have but the hospital I went to didn’t allow it.

My daughter, 17mos, was in the room while I labored with my youngest. Not by choice. We didn’t have anyone her father would allow to watch her. It was stressful. It ended in emergency C-section so she wasn’t there at birth though.

I wanted my oldest, 11/13, to be there during labor & shortly after with both my younger 2. It didn’t work out that way. I wouldn’t want him there while I was in labor.

Do you want your step-daughter to see you in the worst pain you’ll ever be in? Do you want her to see your privates? At 11 she understands where baby comes from but she can’t understand everything involved. It may be good birth control for her though :joy:.

When I had my last baby, my 2 older children (13 & 9) were in the room with me throughout labor & delivery. My OB was very helpful in explaining the process. After her birth, amd when I was ready, he had the kids cut her cord, and then put on gloves to examine the placenta with him as he explained its function and what to look for to ensure no abnormalities

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My niece wanted to be in the delivery room when I had my first. I talked to my OB about it and she said it was a great idea. She said it was a good method of birth control to help try and stop teen pregnancy lol I ended up with a C-section so only my boyfriend was in the room with me than

I would involve her mother in this decision honestly.

Heck no. Lol. Dont want to traumatize my kids. I sure as heck wouldn’t have wanted to be in the room if my mom was giving birth to a sibling. Just something i wouldn’t do bc i dont think it is something kids should see.

My three year old daughter was in the room when I gave birth to my daughter Katie