My child’s father is supposed to be getting married August 4th him and his fiancée have a daughter together, they just took their engagement pics and they had her in them but didn’t ask to have our son in them anyway he still hasn’t asked or said that he wants our child the day of their wedding. I know it’s not my place to ask but should I go ahead and ask him if he wants him that day or just leave it alone? And if he doesn’t end up inviting our son to his wedding do I have the right to be mad/upset about it?
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Man this is hard one…Disappointed, sad, heartbroken for your son? Yes…mad nah? Your son should be mad but I have learned that your son will learn later in life (Not sure his age) that his dad aint shit. You just be there for your son when he needs you. No I would not push the issue because you will just be seen as the crazy baby momma. Dont even bother putting yourself in that position.
You have a right to feel however you want just make sure you dont express it to your son. I wouldn’t remind your ex that’s all on him.
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You know what I think so…yes be upset…at both of them because that is his son I believe I would want my kids there no matter who gave birth to them and upset at her or if I was her I would be upset he hadn’t been asked to be there because that little boy just gained a 2nd mom someone he should be able to go to with anything same as you mom. It’s important to make a big family and to continue to co parent and co raise your children.
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You don’t your son does
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You have the right to be upset but theres probably alot more to the story maybe she doesnt feel like he belongs or her family doesnt look at the son that way and so on and it sucks really sucks when a step parent doesnt see a step child as family but it happens alot and unfortunately getting upset about it isnt worth while its their day and if they dont want him there thats on em but ur child will grow up to see and know this stuff already and it will hurt enough then no need to start expressing to him now unfortunately its not a battle id pick to fight tbh
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So sad. My sister and I were in all of our dads and step moms wedding pictures. My step mom has always loved us like her own. I feel so sad for your son.
To answer your question, you have the right to be upset for your son. If it were me I wouldn’t say anything. That’s on him and if your son asks (you didn’t say how old he was) then you say well I wasn’t informed of anything. Don’t say anything bad about your ex but just say you didn’t know and he never said anything.
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I wouldn’t be mad but I would be hurt for my child. And my ex and I are on decent terms so I would just come out and ask. I feel I would want to know if she has an issue with the child. I would have a hard time knowing my child may visit his dad in a home where his step mom doesn’t want him there. If that is the case. My anxiety would drive me nuts so I would have to ask.
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My father got married without me even knowing until quite awhile after. It hurts the child. Especially when there’s another child who gets to be involved. I wouldn’t ask. It’s not your place. Your son will realize how he is when he’s older. Right now just don’t mention it. He may not know anything about it. It’s not for you to open that can of worms with him. Just let dad dig his hole with your son for now.
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I couldn’t IMAGINE getting married and not having my daughter there. She may not be my blood but she is family. Me and her dad have been together her whole life. I took care of her when she was a baby. And when we do get married she will definitely be there. And be apart of it.
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I would feel so bad for my child. Since the other parent doesn’t care about their other child and they are showing it. It’s his loss! Let it go and make life special for your son.
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If your son is old enough, it’s btwn him & his dad. Otherwise he’ll see pictures in the future and wonder why he wasn’t in them.
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Don’t get involve and worst do not tell your son. Just wait. That’s up to them. You can be angry but it’s there weeding and it will be his loss if he doesn’t have him that they I guarantee he will regret it.
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U have every rite to b very mad and upset… it very roung on his part that is his son he should b a part of it every step of the way
Nope. My ex got married when both our kids and her kids were in school. Did I care?nope. That’s on him and him.to explain to them one day. I dont care what he does
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This was my husbands opinion. “That is his son, and he should include him in it. I had 3 kids before I married my wife, and all 3 of them were involved in our wedding, and included in the day. That boy has every right to be a part of that, and if his father doesn’t ask for him to be there, then you do have every right to be upset about it. Just because he had a kid with someone else, doesn’t make your son any less important. I would say ask him if he wants him there, but be ready for whatever he says back. I dont know the guy…I dont know how he’ll react.”
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Well I think it’s crazy that he wouldn’t want his little boy in his pictures or be at the wedding if her little girl was in them or gonna be there I would be very hurt and upset . That sure doesn’t look good on his fiancee to bit include her stepson I would think his dad would be asking questions …what u should be concerned about is how she will treat your son since she is leaving him out of this yes I would be ticked
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I think it’s more to this story that’s not being told 
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You have a right to feel the way you feel, but don’t express that to your son. That’s still his father regardless of your anger or hurt.
Maybe having a conversation with your ex about how you feel would be constructive. Explain to him how you feel and why you feel that way. Then discuss his wedding day and whether or not he wants the son there. If he doesn’t, maybe ask him to explain his reasoning. It could be that his new soon to be wife doesn’t want your son there or it could be that he’s worried about trying to care for a young child on an already hectic day. Not saying that justifies leaving the son out in any way, but it then could be something you figure out together.
Your son may be hurt by not being a part of the wedding or he may not. If he is, support him and love him through it. But again, don’t talk down about your ex because that won’t help your son feel better.
Hang in there momma. Frustration is temporary.
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Don’t say anything. He should include your guys kid… but still don’t say anything, don’t show them that it bothers you. Just give your son a good excuse. He will understand it when he has his own mind.
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I would have a talk with the dad before feeling a y kind of way. And depending on your sons age…talk to him too. If it doesnt bother him…it shouldnt bother you. I would question why he isnt being included though. My concern would be if the step mom is the one whos not including him…that doesnt set a good precedent
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That’s happened to me too when I was growing up. For example.)I was left out of the wine bottle pics among other stuff. I was always the left out kid anyway. I would call dad out! 100%!
I wish someone would’ve called mine out when it happened. My mom did once and that was it.
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Sounds like you should mind your business
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I am so hurt for your son. My stepmom took me and my sister in and she sees my child as her grandchild. You have every right to be angry. I wouldn’t say anything, it’s all on him. If your son isn’t at the wedding I would suggest making that specific day all about him such as taking him somewhere special like a theme park, museum, or anything.
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Maybe there’s a reason.
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Yes you have the right to be upset. That is SO SAD for your child. Both you and your son are allowed to feel emotions towards that and you as a mom to console him about it. I wouldn’t force it.
I would 100% offer to have your son available to him that day & and he should want him there. I would also offer to make arrangements to drop him off and pick him up. Surely the dad has family (aka your son’s family) that would expect him to be there and be willing to help keep tabs on him during that timeframe.
And all of my suggestions are out of the best interest of the child.
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I would bring it up in a casual conversation. Something along the lines of, “Have you picked out his (the childs) outfit for the wedding? Anything I can do to help get him ready for your big day?” Then, it’s on him to address the situation. Some step parents tend to “forget” that their partner had kids before they met. Hopefully this is not the beginning of your son being excluded from many things. Sometimes, you have to be your child’s voice.
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Honestly? If he doesnt have his son there he doesnt deserve him
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Maybe he tells her one thing and she doesn’t want him there
Like probably not mine etc
If he wants to involve your son you would think he would let you know in advance that he would like him at a certain time and day. You may have plans and if they ask last minute the dad may be bitchy and moany about it, but that isent your problem. You aren’t the one who should be worrying about making his day anymore special. If he doesn’t involve your son that is a low blow. At that point he can piss off. It makes me mad when my sons dad goes places fun without my son or asking my son if he wants to go. I ask to keep him on his weekends when we have something fun planned and always involve him.
What a poc dad and stepmom. If I were her, I’d be like, your som needs to be here. Shame on her, and shame on him for excluding his son. Sometimes, we don’t deserve our kids.
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You had your wedding with him and probably only have pictures of you, him, and yalls kids now its her turn at the same special day you once had …give her her moment and take a seat no need to get mad or upset it’s her wedding day and her engagement photos.
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That’s really disappointing of him and sad. I don’t know how old your son is but if he’s old enough to understand I would definitely do something fun on that day or talk to him about it. That it’s not him… just because you start another family doesn’t mean you get to leave the first one you started behind. I wouldn’t say anything either if he doesn’t invite him or ask for him to go. His dad knows it’s not right he’s not dumb. 
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I’d be upset but thats on him. The way I see it, if you have to ask, it isn’t worth it. On the day of their wedding bring your son to do something special. Also, dick move on his part 
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That poor boy, his sperm donor is useless as a Dad. How will that boy feel as he gets older and looks at pictures of his sister included in everything but not him? Wtf.
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My child her dad never takes her to any family thing holidays or nothing and it his loss. She don’t know she missing out cause I don’t tell her.
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We had my husband’s son as shared best man, hubby never thought about not asking him to the wedding.
However, the only thing that may be worrying your ex, is that the engagement/marriage to another woman would upset the son? We worried about it and he suffered anxiety as a result (and of me getting pregnant and his Dad having another son).
I’d talk to your ex civally, just in case they are worried how he or you would react.
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I understand the engagement photos but the wedding… why wouldnt he want his son there…
Nope. It’s a dick move. But, ex’s are ex’s.
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I would be very upset
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My suggestion - see if that time already falls on his time. Maybe he hasnt asked because he doesnt think he should have to! If it isnt on his time, bring it up casually. “Im assuming you want son on august 4th? Just making sure i dont plan anything for him”
Maybe you son doesnt/didnt want to be apart of it? If he did, yes you have every right to be mad, but ultimately its up to the child to figure out what he wants to feel.
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My two sons (14 & 9yr old) found out their dad had gotten married on their one year anniversary. They were so saddened that their dad had not told them anything. They are with their dad every other weekend so it’s not like he never talks to them or is not in their lives.
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You have the right to whatever feelings you have. You have the right to feel upset and angry for your son being left out.
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Jumping to conclusions like the bitches y’all are 
you are not apart of his new marriage. He does not need to let u know 2 months in advance that his son is coming to his wedding! Get over yourself- find something else to worry about
If that’s how their having their wedding, I’d assume that’s how they plan to be a family. other than this crap has he been a good parent?
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I notice a lot of stepmoms who really go out of their way to exclude their step children. It’s very hurtful to the kids and I don’t get it. Personally, I think it’s bullshit and that it’s some kind of deep rooted insecurity on the step moms part. It sucks his dad doesn’t have the balls to step up and be his dad.
Leave it alone. If he wants your son there he will ask. If he never does and goes ahead without him you know your sons importance to him. And yes if he doesn’t get invited you have the right to be upset/hurt for your child.
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My dad got remarried after he divorced my mom. NONE of my dad’s biological children were there BUT all 3 of the new wife’s kids were there AND the new wife’s family. That still annoys me. They’ve been married for about 25 years now. After a few years of marriage he didn’t even pick us up for regular visits.
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Time will take care of all the problems because if he dose not include his son his wife will see what kind of dad he is an he will be her ex soon enough
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In the words of the wise miss Elsa… let it go, let it go… I’ve learned the hard way that pushing into the lives of those that don’t want you only causes hurt for everyone involved. Focus your energy on what you can do for your baby, not what you can’t. If he isn’t invited, plan a special day for you, maybe go to an arcade or do a photo shoot to commemorate the day you spent together and the memories you can control. Much love mama. Protecting their little hearts is the toughest job in the world! 
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My “dad” got married and I found out by seeing the wedding announcement in the paper. It was devastating. You have every right to be upset. His or hers it shouldn’t matter both children should be included. It’s a union of a family.
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My kids father got married and my kids weren’t there. Our youngest didn’t care. He was 4 and didn’t understand but my oldest was 5 and he knew that it was something special and was very upset. I would mention it to him and see if maybe he just assumed his child would be there. If he doesn’t want him there then talk to your child about it. I had a long talk with my child about how sometimes things just don’t work out the way we plan and that maybe he didn’t ask cause it wasn’t his day and it was a holiday. Your child will look to see your reaction so try to be calm and let them explain their feelings.
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It might be something you will need to discuss with your child’s father. It’s better to have good communication with him to be clear on this. Whatever affects your son is your place. So talk yo your ex.
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My step son found out after the fact that his mom had remarried. He learned that she didn’t include him into anything. He is married and has a family now. And he considers me his mom. And I spoil those babies. He has 2 step children to. His moms side says they are just married into family. No its all or nothing. That hurts kids more to be singled out and not feel apart of the family.
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Wow this is so sad. I could never condone that behavior as a mother and step mother in general. Says a lot about that woman as well.
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I would be mad. It’s like she’s not accepting your child to the family.
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You feel how you feel and thats fine but don’t show it to your son. I personally wouldn’t bring it up to your ex because you shouldn’t have to. If he wants his son to be there then he would make it a point to have him there. If he doesn’t want to include his son that’s on him. Let your son form his own opinion about his dad
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Your ex is getting a " C " for a wife. Anyone who excludes a child has serious issues. What if they were to abuse him or do something to scar him. F them.
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You can be mad, but it’s not going to do anything. It might even cause more harm than good. I would just plan something important that day as back up, like a mini vacation for you and ur son so then if he does find out about the wedding, then he wouldn’t be upset because he was busy that day anyways.
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I would bring it up in casual conversation just so you can “plan for it” and see what he says and go from there. I feel like if you can help make it known to him that your son should be there the less likely he’ll get his heart broken. It may suck that you have to handle these things this way, but do it anyways… For that baby.
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We got married in a park, it had to be a week day according to the JOP…my asshole ex wouldn’t let the kids miss school to attend so your ex not insisting his son is included really ticks me off. Why are some parents just so shitty:woman_shrugging:t3:
I would not puch if they dont want him their tham they will not make it special for him… being mad just hurts you it mot worth it rather spend the time loving your child it is his dads loss. His dad needs to explain that when he is older. You can only love him and control your actions around him
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I would ask personally.
Friend of mine had something similar, he assumed his son wouldn’t be “allowed” to attend without the mother gate crashing as well. Which clearly, wouldn’t be good or an enjoyable time for anyone.
I’d ask, it could be simply because they want him there but not you overlooking everything they do 
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Never invite you or anyone else to someone else’s wedding. He is the father. He should make the child a priority. A wedding is a big thing.
Is your ex paying child support? Does he initiate visitation with the child or are you doing all of it?
If you have to remind or force him to see his son, let him out of the both of y’alls lives. Your kid deserves better. Don’t allow your son to be an option.
Find yourself a good man who will step up and be a wonderful father figure to your son. Move on and never look back
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Worry about what’s happening on your side of the fence. That’s all you can control. It will help you to reduce the amount of stress you have in your life in regards to things involving your ex. I assume you still have a few years to go before your son is an adult. Pace yourself. I’m not sure where you saw the pictures, but doing your best not to see those kinds of things will also help. Out of sight, out of mind.
Maybe they aren’t having children at the wedding at all & their kid will be with a babysitter? Just a thought.
Dont ask him anything. When my sons dad got married he wasnt invited. In fact he had another baby and my son didnt even know anything about it or her name til she was almost 1… it’s all sad…but it is what it is… if he doesnt ask your son to come…that’s a sign for you to catch… and the new wife…should be ashamed of herself for not helping him still be a good dad to your son…I’m sorry for you and your son…stay strong
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Sounds like hes more to being a parent to his other kid. I wouldn’t ask just yet see what happens. And as it gets closer then you choose on what to do. Is he leaving your son out of family outings, he already left him out of their engagement pic, what else is he leaving him out of?? I would say leave it alone.
Not sure how old your son is, but your husband is the one that needs to decide what kind of relationship (or none at all) he wants with his son. And that will truly be your ex husband’s ultimate loss. Just be there to help love and support your son, reminding him it is not his fault in any way, as he realizes how he will want to treat his own kids one day.
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I don’t think it’s a good idea to ask, the reason why if he loves his son that shouldn’t have been a question, for you now to go ask and it will be more hurtful and disappointed if you go ask and he says no. So I think it’s better to leave it alone, it’s not your fault.
I would ask, reason being that the answer may be no and then you will be doubly angry. I would be more disappointed and hurt for your son. If he doesn’t ask him? You plan to do something with him that day make it special. Explain to your son it has nothing to do with him personally. Make sure your their for him and tell him how much you care.
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You have every right to be upset. I understand that you are upset because your ex is basically starting a new a family and leaving his son in the dust. I really feel for you but honestly its up to his dad if he wants him there. All you can do is wait. And if your son wants an explanation than thats when you tell your that he owes your son an explanation or reason. Ive learned that you have to let your ex dig their own hole. All you can do is be there 
and let your son know you will always be there for him. Dont bother asking him cause the answers may not make you happy and if your son wants to know then he should confront him. No offense but your ex sounds like a piece of shit to leave his son out of this very important time in his life.
You have every right to be upset if it upsets your son. I think this is truly sad, I can’t believe he wouldn’t want his child in his wedding!
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Why do fathers always give more attention to the other children with another woman not the ones he had before I hate that I tell my Grandaughter it’s ok you don’t need to be with her dad he always says this n that about the other kids to her she wants his attention when she with him 
I’m glad she’s growing to tell him how she feels but I know she loves her dad he doesn’t n it’s sad to hear her say that it’s y I give her all my love we almost lost her when she was born I told her mom n I fed her all the 2 weeks she was in icu she was tiny but look at her now she’s tall n going into the 7 grade at 5”6 . Daughters as well as sons need their dad but some dads aren’t worth boot . to this lady don’t let your son go to his wedding he will probably be left out anyways .
Sounds like he’s already singling him out and taking on the daughter if he doesn’t want him there maybe the fiancé doesn’t want him there some women are like that it’s evil or maybe he just doesn’t want him there for what ever odd reason he should be a part of it though
My babies dad got married in December he never invited them and never asked me to take them he lives in another state he just called to say hey I’m getting married I was pissed
If I was you I wouldn’t ask but if he doesn’t ask I would be disappointed in him . You need to be there for your son
I would ask so he can’t play the “she didn’t let me have him” card. No you should have to but still he can’t blame you
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Sounds to me like he doesn’t really even want your son. & that super sad.
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Yes it’s his child to and to not invite him is not good
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I would ask. He IS his son also
Ask him he is his son
Sounds like ex husband is a douche and doesn’t care
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As Mom’s our job is never done. Be Prayerful !! Again i say Be Prayerful . As mom we are always in “lioness mode” when it comes to our children. No matter what age they are…I would asked the Dad privately without your son knowing anything about it. If he plans to include or exclude him I would want him to explain. Then letting him know that exclude may back fire on him later and explain why you feel like that. Caution! A words to the wise: a man will never listen to a raging “ex” it will only reaffirm to him why he put you in “ex” category, and he will turn a deaf ear to you. Once you hear him out, it is still your responsibility to make whatever he says palpable for your son, please exclude any emotions you may have about it. Speak slow and clear cuz your son will hang on every word you say. Remember- As mom we must always teach our children to honor their parents , so that there days will be long upon the earth. Best Wishes
An experience Mom of 33yrs🌺
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Leave it alone…u can’t always protect your son. I went through this very thing with my son. In the end it was his fathers loss. My son doesn’t respect his father. Their relationship is not got. But he now knows what kind of father he is!!
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My daughter has experienced a lifetime of hurt because her dad has never included her in his life…for his wedding, the birth of their son, family pictures, family vacations…and it goes on and on. If possible, do what you can to encourage them to include your son.
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If she leaves him out of the engagement photos, then the wedding what’s next? I can’t imagine your son one day going to see dad and seeing all the photos and memories he wasn’t part of how he will fill. You momma are his voice say something now or it will get worse from here. I know my 2 kiddos were in your son’s position. Now my kiddos watch there step siblings celebrate holidays and birthday with there dad while he now doesn’t even send them a card for birthday or holidays.
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This depends on a lot of things.
How old is your son ? Will someone be there to help him before, after the ceremony?
What about the grandparents? They should have said something.
I’d talk to your child’s father. Privately and nicely .
Remember that the wedding is usually all about the bride and she might have your sons best interest at heart.
Trust me, it’s not worth the battle . In the long run , your son will pay the price.
Chose your battles wisely.
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If you guys have a good coparent situation you should ask he might feel maybe he cant approach you, be the bigger person and talk to him and his fiancee about it ,remember a blended family is more beneficial to the children. It’s not about you but the children.
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Wow! That’s tough. What kind of relationship does he have with his son? How does your son feel about it? Because if your son doesn’t feel some kind of way about it maybe just keep your feelings to yourself. If he sees how it effects you he will not be happy to see his mom hurt. Otherwise I can understand the mama bear stance in hurting your baby and you might want to rip him a new one! Start by talking to your son to get a feel where he is on the matter.
Honestly, I’m surprised he hasn’t said anything about your son being there. 
Is he a constant in your sons life? If it were me, I would ask him if he plans to have his son that day. I don’t know how old your son is but if he’s of age to realize what’s going on, he may be hurt if he’s not allowed to be there.
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When my oldest son was remarried he had two previous sons! One was 15 and the younger one was 5. He had me take his sons to his wedding! The 15 year old (tall for his age) was one of the groomsmen and the 5 year old was one the tiny bring bearer! His new wife wanted her 10 yr old and 12 year old nephews to be ring beaters and fought it but my son said that it was fine but his son was ring bearer and so there would just have to be 3 ring bearers! The big boys looked ridiculous but my son put his foot down! Sadly to this day she ignores the 5 year old who is now 12
It’s pretty crappy that he’s leaving your son out, but I would just leave it alone unless he mentions it. If you make it a big deal to your son, and he’s still not included, it will be more hurtful in the long run. That being said, I would definitely resent that kind of behavior, and do your best to protect your son from getting hurt if your ex is playing that whole “new family” crap.
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My children’s father and his new wife did not invite his children to the wedding because they didn’t want the “snot nosed kids running around.” Their loss. That’s all. And this woman he married was a school teacher. My kids didn’t miss anything by not being allowed to be there. Drop it. Your son and his father will or will not get this figured out some day. It will be up to them when your son is older.
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Several questions: how old is your son?
is your son upset about not being there?
Will your son be going to their home for visits?
What kind of relationship does your son have with his father?
If your son is old enough to speak for himself he should speak to his day on his own.
Good luck
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It is still his son. He needs to family bond. He should be there. If not invited be wary of visits…I had a wicked step mother…
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Just tell him that you think that would be good for your son to participate and be included so he has the memories of this important day when he grows up. Don’t wait and don’t make a big deal of it. 
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GET OVER YOURSELF. You have issues. Don’t interfere in their personal lives. You have too much free time on your hands if you are fussing over their pics and wedding. This isn’t about your sons feelings its actually about your feelings. The fact that you take time to look at their pics tell me you are stalking your ex to keep up with his life. Move on.
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How old is your son? I would say if your son is a little boy under the age of 10.I would guess he wasnt invited because of his age.He is getting married he is not going to want to watch a kid on his wedding day or wedding nite.They will be parting drinking they have a
baby you said.I bet her mom will be keeping the baby for a few days.Do like someone said.Leave it alone.Forget about it.You son might be old enough to where he wouldnt know what was going on in the first place.Think about it would you want to have to babysit a kid on your wedding nite? Nope.behonest.you wouldnt want to worry about him running around.Drop it let it roll off
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