When my daughter was young and her father got remarried the fiancé told my daughter that she could not be in the wedding because no one could be prettier then the bride. Her father put his foot down and she was in the wedding. Then the fiancé chose a dress color that did absolutely nothing for my daughters complexion and once again her dad stepped in and got her the color she needed Sounds like your child’s father is whimping out to the brides wishes. He needs to grow a pair and step up to her.
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Definitely have a right to be mad… I would definitely say something to him maybe not to ask if he wants him but to ask if he is going to be treating your son like he is an unwelcome visitor from now on… and if he seems like it I would do everything in my power to keep your son from getting hurt.
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You have every right to be upset. He should have talked to your son by now about the wedding, the excitement of the day, etc. Since he hasn’t it tells me he doesn’t want him there. Also what kind of woman is he marrying that would allow him to exclude his son. I agree with a previous response. Ask him about their colors and your sons attire. This will either make him realize his son needs to be there or he’ll have to admit he (my money is on both of them not wanting him there) doesn’t want him there.
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Men dont think like women. They are pracal not emotional. Once we realize that it’s easier to say hey…he would have loved to be in the pics, he is your family and loves your future wife…hey, he really wants to support you on your big day.
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First of all you have the right to feel anyway. People can’t tell you how to feel. Only you know. You should let the ex know that your son is looking forward to being there. And if he’s not invited make sure the ex is the one that tells him don’t let yourself become the bad guy.
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Maybe its just me, but I’d be vocal to my son’s father about what’s going on. Why wasnt he in the family photo shoot, why hasn’t anything been said about him being included in the wedding? I’d ask straight up. If he doesn’t want to include his own child in something so important, F him. 
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Leave it… not worth it your boy will figure it out… and you will be there… just don’t say anything negative it’s hard but it’s what you have to do till your boy is old enough to feel and know the truth
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When I was younger, 11-12, my mom got remarried and I found out after the fact. I lived out of state with my dad and I understood that I couldn’t be there but a phone call saying “hey honey so and so and I are getting married this weekend” sure would have been nice and eased the sting a little. But then again they took vacay’s to Disney and camping trips with his two girls and when I came to visit we didn’t do anything. Seeing the pics hurt my little feelings but as I got older and realized what a piece of sh!¥ he was I really could care less now. He needs to talk to you first and then he needs to explain it to your son!! Not you, dad!! It’s his mistake not yours to cover for him. Just be mama and prepare for an upset child.
It’s not right for him to not be there- especially since the new wife isn’t taking him as a package deal and he seems to not have a problem shirking his responsibility as a father. I think you’re upset because you’re worried your son will feel excluded from a family, and the wedding represents that. I think it’s a valid reason to be upset
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Yes you do have a reason for being mad. It shows that your ex is not a real man.when I have been with a lady I have treated their kids like my own.
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Leave it alone and don’t let his behavior poison your current life or your son’s
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I wouldn’t make any inquiries…the man knows he has a son…step back, be silent, watch…your son will find out what type of person his dad is…just be there for the boy
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You have every rite to be upset !!
What kind of father does that to his own son ??
I would talk to him about it …because it’s not nice what he’s doing !
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Sounds like step-mom is becoming step-monster already and doesn’t want his child with another woman around. I can see who runs the relationship smh…he better not divorce this one because she’ll make his life miserable seeing as they have a daughter together
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First thing you should do is ask your son of he even wants to be there.
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Kinda seems like his trying to start a family and leave your son behind I’d ask but it seems like he’d rather not have his son there
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I wasn’t included in either of my parents weddings. My son was not invited to his dads weddings. It wasn’t that big of a problem for any of us : /
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What an a- hole be happy he is out of your life and protect your baby from hurtful actions he is completely inept had no understanding of how wrong this is and neither does his b$&ch of a wife …
I would be furious and very upset. You are not wrong and I would most definitely be talking to him about the pictures and the wedding. He sounds like a complete jerk!!!
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Maybe the fiance is making all the plans including photo shoots and planning a wedding can be hella stressful you should Ask If they want your son included in any of their plans
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You definitely have a right, hes picking favorites and treating his kids differently its disgusting.
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Ask him, but if he doesn’t want your child there, then I’d be mad
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I don’t blame you for being upset but move on it’s probably better that way
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Maybe offer to take and pick up your son so he doesn’t have to be concerned about it. That maybe why he hasn’t asked
I’d be pissed. Your son should be included in everything… what a loser dad… I had a "brother only invite me and my s.o to their wedding. I didn’t go! Hell to the no!
I don’t understand why the “new” wife wouldn’t speak up about it way before now? Thats heartbreaking…
Hopefully you will get some good advice… 
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I’d ask. Flat out. If he wants to be involved or if your sons gonna always be on the back burner.
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No do,overs…it would be his Fathers loss!!!
If this boy is very young he may not
care, or even think about being left
out … it may not enter his mind .
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Got nothing to with you girl, he is keeping things seperate for his own new families peace and quite. Trying to interfere like this proves him right.
No don’t ask unless it’s addressed to you b tut yo yuh r ex when initially iui al wedding plans were being made. If.its.changed. Don’t be mad at your ex husband. My ex never we r has done one thing g with our son since th we time he left ro.be.with his new wife. Unfortunately my son now 27 has been completely left out of his father’s life because of the new wife. Its hurt my son to no end and my anger er towards it.i no longer leave.out. I tries.in the beginning to be supportive even.thoufh.i.neve er liked.her and.she.nev we er liked.me. but my son was left out of everything cause she.says.hes so.much.lime.me and she won’t have.it.
How old is your son?
First off i would question his and his future wifes ability to be fair and decent to your son. Excluding him from the engagement photos while allowing her child to be in them would shoot a huge red flag to me. I would absolutely question your ex about that one. I grew up in a house with a step mom who didnt like me and a father who let her get away with it just so he didnt have to fight with her. Dont let that happen to your son. Just be wary and keep your eyes and ears open for things that seem off to you and question those things always. Dont let them treat your son different. Youre his advocate.
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Leave it alone and plan a super fun day with him.
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You need to speak up about it…
Forgive him and go a 3 days water fast
Pray Psalm 51, 91
Pray against the spirit of Jezebel
You can be upset for your son. I understand those feelings completely 
Leaving it alone is the smartest path.
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Yes ask of he is going to be on the wedding
I would ask .A mother protect her children
Don’t be mad be glad if he treats him like this now it will get. Worse
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His actions are speaking for themselves, listen
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He should include his son.
leave it alonee but let him knowyour feelings
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My ex did same thing
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Don’t ask, just
“let it go”
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Doesn’t do any good to be mad or upset.
Definitely enquire for your son’s sake. What his father is doing is cruel & unfair. His fiancé knows she’s marrying him & his son is part of the package & should behave as such! You don’t say how old your son is; if he’s a teen encourage him to have a very frank conversation with his father. If he’s too young to do that, then continue fighting for his right to be included. Make your ex know that your son knows what is happening (on some level he definitely does) & this will be the ultimate form of rejection for him & damage their relationship for good. If your ex says something brainless like your son won’t notice & he’ll bounce back then you really let your lioness out & fight for him. Even try reasoning with the fiancé if necessary. This is cruel & unnecessary. If you don’t get anywhere @ least during the conversation you’ll get some sort of explanation as to why your son is uninvited & you can honestly tell him one day that you fought for him to be included & explain what happened when you spoke to his father & explain. You are doing what any good mother would do & trying to protect him.
That’s just ignorant, he is completely disregarding your son. That’s awful☹️ Your son must feel terrible. What a jerk. Yes you should be very mad for the disrespect of your child, and for what it will do to him. It’s one thing if none of the children attended but to choose one over the other is mean.
And you cannot fix stupid
If he chooses to be stupid your son is better off without him…find someone who will love you both
What a Dick! He should be ashamed of himself!
Dad sounds like a garbage human
That’s beyond messed up
Being upset is your right. Being upset is your sons right if he’s old enough to understand and is upset on his own, not because you tell him that he should be upset or because he sees you upset.
Your ex has a right to choose who’s at his wedding as crappy as his choice is perceived by some.
When I married my daughters father ( she wasn’t conceived yet) we only had a notary and his parents at our beachside wedding. I was estranged from my family and his children ( my step children) weren’t invited. It wasn’t to be mean… but it was our special day and we chose to make it about us and do adult things for example a fancy dinner after the ceremony and a kid free first night as a married couple. To each is own… if your ex is indeed a shit head no worries your son will figure that out all on his own as he grows up with absolutely no help from you😉
Ummmmmm I would kill the bastard and Do Not Ever doubt ur own feelings… of Course your feelings should be hurt for your baby 
Why wouldn’t the dumb prick WANT his son there ??? I mean this is a THING??
REALLY
Women… we need to STOP Asking ourselves “do I have a right to feel/not feel a certain way”
Fuck that…That’s gaslighting
Men don’t do it… they declare how they feel or don’t
Of course you should be upset
He’s a douche and so is that hoe he’s gonna marry
I’m sorry:rage:
Obviously hes an asshole. You need to apologize to your son for picking a shitty father for him.
Makes perfect sense for you to be upset … for your son’s sake. Fear of our children suffering emotionally now, or in the future, over events such as this is so heartbreaking as a loving mother. I absolutely understand. That being said there isn’t much point in being angry towards your ex. Turn that into an extra helping of love for your son on that day…every day. He will need this if his father doesn’t include him in the wedding. Frankly for him (and his fiance) to even leave your son out of the engagement picture speaks volumes to me. Love your son a little extra. And I agree that you should plan a special day with him on the wedding date (if he is not attending). Make that day a beautiful memory for the two of you that he can look back on when he is older.
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It’s up to them. You can feel whatever you want to feel, but it will not matter. It’s unfair for the child not being invited, but it’s all up to them. Talk to them. Maybe they think you will come to and they dont want you there? Does you child have some sort of behavior problems that they dont want at the wedding? Do you and the other woman get along? Does your child age play a role maybe? If he’s really young he could be more stress then fun. There can be soooo many reasons for why they havent ask for him to be a part of their special day.
From the point of view of a child who dealt with that . When my dad didn’t invite me and my brother it crushed us , i was devastated I was only 8 but it still hurts to this day to think he would merry someone so horrible . She also had 4 kids in her worlds to “ replace “ my brother and I and it worked I hadn’t talk to my dad in years . What that lady is doing by not including your son is not ok ! It will hurt him
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His ignoring the child is loud and she is telling you your child does not matter to her. Move away from them and have a happy life
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I am an asshole, so I definitely would ask if he has any intentions on having your son there. If no, I would need a reason as to why. If they are leaving your son out if this, imagine how they treat him when he is with them. Just saying.
Here’s the thing, this is a clear sign that your son’s new stepmom is not going to take his feelings into consideration and she has no forethought her future husband’s relationship with all of his children. There is way more going on here than your son not being invited to the wedding. I would definitely talk with 'dad’s calmly to find out the situation, but be prepared to shield your son from any hurtful acts. If he is not invited, take him somewhere special that day and make it a lovely memory for him.
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My son wasnt included in his father’s wedding and he was very hurt by it. They gave him a album of photographs from the day showing off his cousin which hurt more. Now he told me he wants to be a better dad than his is. If ur ex doesn’t want ur son there then that’s his issue but one day your son will say that he doesn’t like him.
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Ask. So you know when your son asks you about it. As for the right to be upset, only if you’re upset on your son’s behalf. Like you can be mad if it upsets your son to be excluded.
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My ex did the exact same thing. Didn’t invite our son but all the fiancé s children were there . My son was 5 at the time and it broke my baby’s heart when i told him that he couldn’t go .
I was so mad at him but didn’t confront him at all about it .
Id feel some kind of way about it too. I have to say, normally girls would be spiteful trying to keep the son away so I applaud you for being mature. I’d just bring it up, like hey, just so you know he can come, be included, etc. my feelings would be hurt if I was the child so and the dad doesn’t want him there so it’s natural for you to feel that for yourself child
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First off! I want to say how mature it shows you are that you won’t your child to be able to be with his dad the day his dad gets married! I would definitely feel a type of way. It seems like there isn’t too much bad blood between you guys? And that he sees your child. I would go a head and ask. Maybe he’s nervous you’d be mad?
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Don’t worry about it. It’s his wedding. If he wants his son at his wedding then he can say so. Don’t stress over something you don’t have control over. If he doesn’t want a relationship with his son or to include him in something important like his wedding then just leave it alone. Neither of you need that stress.
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Heck no… do not ask him! Let him dig his own grave with his son.
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There are too many variables to this to give a straight yes or no. My thoughts reading it: How old is the son? Do you and the ex normally discuss things of this nature, if so are your discussions amicable? Because I can see both sides of this. If the son is older and maybe doesn’t have a great relationship with dad/step-mom to begin with the son may have already expressed to dad he isn’t interested. Dad/Step-mom may just to be trying to push something on him he isn’t interested in at the time. Which no, there is no sense in getting upset if that be the case as that would be a realistic way to approach it. Are they specifically excluding him? If he isn’t exhibiting a lack of interest on his part then I would probably wonder why if they included the other child they didn’t include him? Do they have a difficult time getting the son outside of scheduled visitation? I would wonder why they didn’t schedule the photos for a visitation time to include son. I would also wonder if it is because they are purposely excluding him or if I have in someway made it difficult or stressful for them to make son an active participant. Realistically, if you have then I can understand them just avoiding it altogether because no one wants to surround theirselves with unnecessary drama during a time of happiness like weddings, holidays, birthdays.
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That is shitty of him, you can talk about it but it really tells you of thus guy’s priorities your son isn’t and I’m sorry. This is a big red flag to cut contact. You need a new man he needs a new dad. There’s are difference from someone having a bad mommenr or someone is a bad person. Like people saying shit on the internet are having a bad moment but this baby daddy seems to be a bad person ans your son needs a better male role model.
Very sad and poor excuse for a dad:(
Having been this kid, ask if he wants him there. Don’t do it in front of your son because if he says no, it’ll break his heart. But if he does say no, make plans for you and your son so it’s a fun day for him and he’s not thinking about being left out. My stepmom asked my dad about me coming but he didn’t see why I needed to be there, but her daughters were. He called me the next day on my birthday and told me they got married, he had never even told me they were engaged. It’s heart breaking.
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Hurting for certain to have that girl in the pics but not his FIRST born … I’d be upset … that’s just me though. Why is the daughter so important but not his son ? Some men are gross with their actions in including their offsprings from other relationships. .
My kids father did the same thing . Got married didnt invite them , hell he didnt even tell them . It was done so hastily his own sister disowned him for leaving his first born boys out .
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First of all he left you (the wife) not the child an I think for any father to do that to a child is so nasty.
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They sound like real pieces of work… I found in the dumpster
How old is your son?
Is it worth the headache?
None of the kids were involved in our wedding (I was pregnant with my first and our son was born a couple years after)day party because I had not met his kids due to a bitter baby momma and his messy child custody battle trying to even figure out where she was hiding out with them 2 months later I had my son and met them just two weeks later they are all under 6 at this point and we have been together for almost 4 years and we want a bigger wedding and to include the kids
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You have every right to be upset but I would keep it to myself. Let them handle it. Don’t mention anything to your son or your ex. It may not be fair but is not your battle to pick. Children know their parents and their weaknesses. Let your ex explain it to your son if he asks. Listen to your son if he talks to you about it and reassure him that you’re there for him. Nothing else you can do…
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I wouldn’t even give them the satisfaction of asking. If they are trying to be secretive about it, then let them stay under wraps. If dad doesn’t make any effort for anything, you make no effort either. Love your baby and move on. 
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I would deff ask! We had both my son, and my husband’s (mystepson) at our wedding. His mom thought I was crazy to marry him(they had an awful relationship) however she even got him dressed in a little tux before giving him to us. We only had a magistrate marry hs and it was only our sons and my mother there but love is more. Just ask.
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New wife taking over his life obviously and his other kid doesn’t matter. Nice dad. Tell him to fuck off, and take him for what he worth. Asshole
My ex is getting married and even though we’ve had out disagreements I’d want my daughter to be there, which she is going to be, they’ve included her in the planning taken her cake testing she’s been so excited about it all, unfortunately they had to postpone the wedding due to corona.
I’m looking forward to the day me and my other half get married and share our day with the children.
My dad got married in “secret” and called to tell me afterwards while I was 6 months pregnant standing in TJ Maxx. He didn’t invite my sister either. We were so upset. That was January 2019 and he’s only met my son once and he’s 14 months old. I wouldn’t even bring it up to him. Just let him decide and let you know. If he doesn’t invite your son though, you and your son both have 100% right to be upset.
Has your son told his dad that he wants to be at the wedding?
If he wanted your son there he would have asked or at least talked to you about it. Seems like to me he doesnt want your son there. That’s my opinion tho.
All of these other people are probably right HOWEVER maybe he thinks you won’t want your son there. The only way to know is to ask.
Ask. I was 14 when my dad remarried and i was so upset he didnt even invite us. I was bitter af for a min
I think it’s his Dad’s decision . Don’t mention it to your son . That way he won’t have expectations to be invited . It’s his Dad that will have to live with himself , if he doesn’t . He probably don’t want to have the responsibility of having him on his wedding day .
I would be so hurt for my child. They should have invited him and made him a part of it
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I would be upset.
But I’d keep my mouth shut.
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How old is your son? You would think he would want him to be apart of his special day. I was be upset bc Id be worried that my son felt he was left out. Id also be worried that maybe she doesnt want my son around too and will treat him differently. When I got married almost 7 yrs ago- which was a huge mistake btw and Im working on getting divorced- I made sure I included my stbxh 2 older boys along with my son and daughter in the wedding.
My son wasn’t invited to the funerals of that side of that family. Wasn’t going to be in their “family photos”. It would still piss me off, still does piss me off but it shows me how he really feels. How the whole family feels, no matter what age the child is he should be inviting his child. I don’t ask anymore, and definitely don’t assume.
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I wouldn’t ask him. See if he asks Ana if he doesn’t yes you can be mad
My ex had our older 5 kids at his wedding but not our youngest. I was upset but I made the day about her instead. It is his lose and he’ll have to explain to her later on why he left her out.
This is the father of your son, of course you can ask him! Hopefully he’s just assumed that he’ll be apart of it without him needing to ask 
If he is being left out though that’s so wrong & needs explaining to your son the best & kindest way you know how. Good luck with this, horrible situation x
I wasnt invited to my dads, my step children weren’t invited to their moms, I find it really weird but also depends on the setting. I however had the kids at ours…
When my dad got remarried we were all there, me and my two sisters and my two step brothers
Yes you have a right to be upset. Me being me, I’d prolly say something but not always the best thing to do.
I would ask. If he says no then organise something to do with your son. I would defiantly be mad and upset. You are supposed to share things like that with your kids.
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