This happened to me to find out all along he was sleeping with her … leave girl you are worth mor e
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No I wouldn’t trust him. He broke your trust when he started being sneaky. I’d say leave, he doesn’t seem to respect your relationship. He’s married and didn’t even tell that other chick? Nah fuck that. He wanted shit to happen with.
If she was just a friend, she would be invited over to meet you.
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He clearly isn’t putting you his wife before all others. Girl you should have talked to her yourself. Tell him to kick rocks. Get child support and let him be a dad. Don’t hurt the kid bcuz you were cheated. Kid did nothing wrong. He sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too The sheer fact you’re posting this and asking for advice you know darn well you don’t trust him without trust there’s no relationship.
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Personally I would speak to her and find out exactly what us going on, I wouldn’t tell him u plan to speak to her tho and i would confront her face to face, also he doesnt really care that he upsetting hurts u but he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings:thinking: personally if that was me id think he cares more about her than me 
DUMP HIM
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Your getting cheated on end of story. They are not just friends
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That’s not love if he continues to do the list of things he’s still doing. Get out! Take him to court for child support and spousal support move, find a new job and someone who is trustworthy. You and your son deserve better!
Sounds like way too much of a headache. I didn’t even read all of your post. From my personal experience, if he cheated to be with you, he will cheat on you to be with her. Most people live their lives in repeat patterns
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Very calmly set a time where you can talk together. Ask him what he wants, his family or her. If he chooses you then spell out the rules AND why. Contact her and tell her to back off.
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I think you know the answer already. It sounds like you do. Cheating isn’t so much about the action but the lack of respect and lying. If they have not yet crossed the line physically HE crossed that line the moment he started lying to you.
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I wouldn’t stay, but also don’t threaten for him to not see his son. Just because he is hurting you emotionally doesn’t mean he shouldn’t see his son. That’s not fair or right of you to do.
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Gracious I wouldn’t have gotten married to him if there were red flags already
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Would he put up with YOU doing that???.
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Shouldn’t punish the kid and keep him from his father. But you can most definitely leave, rock this mom life and find someone who deserves the trust and loyalty you give. Good luck mama you got this!
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Even if he isn’t cheating he’s lying over and over. I wouldn’t talk to her bc she obviously doesn’t care.
You can do so much better.
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You deserve so much better. To many red flags. Hope you can move on with you n your son.
Leave him but don’t keep his son away from him just because you are mad at him. It will hurt your son in the long run.
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You’ve had way more patience and tolerance than I would have. Red flags everywhere.
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Sounds like what my ex did when he had an affair with his co-worker. Only I knew nothing until he had walked out n came back 6 months later. Then I filed 4 divorce.
First of all what does your son have to do with your husband being a whore? You shouldn’t stop a father from seeing his son because you guys are having marital issues. That’s not fair.
Her her have him, they sound like they deserve each other. Get a lawyer and take him for all he’s worth🤷🏻♀️
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Wow i feel like punching him in the face just reading that…HE DOESNT WANT TO HURT HER FEELINGS?! GIRL LEAVE 
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He’s disgusting, grab the baby and leave
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This question must be from a Bot…ask Siri smh
Leopards never change their spots.
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Sounds like my ex husband. Loved him so much I ignored all the red flags, kept telling myself he will always choose me, he will change etc even started a family with him. I didn’t know back then but He kept creeping around, (he was sleeping with one of my co workers, went out to night clubs with mates and had sex with women in the bathrooms)
eventually he left me for someone else whilst he was away for work. Our daughter was 8 weeks old at the time.
Send him packing…easy for me to say but he can not be trusted and you deserve much better…
Girl you can’t be serious. Kick his ass to the curb.
You were doomed from the start with that one. Know your worth girl! Run!
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The fact that your posting a thing like this, and debating it in your mind - I think you already know the answer deep down. Don’t wait for clarification from others. Just do it. You got this.
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Kick him to the curb, but dont take his son away from him. He has no part in the lying he’s doing to you.
He shouldn’t lose his son over this tho …
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First off stop using your kids as leverage in relationships, second girl trust your gut
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There is no trust and you can’t “fix” this. He has never stopped seeing her and she is more important than you. They shared a room on an out of town trip! Counseling for what? Of course he isn’t going to show up. It isn’t going to change his feelings for the woman and he won’t stop. Cut your losses and move on with your life.
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File for divorce. He’s in a three year relationship with a coworker and you are aware of it. He’s not going to stop or he would have cut off the “ friendship “ with her the first time he realized it was threatening his marriage!
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Yeah. My ex used to ply like that and turns out he was cheating the entire time.
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Kick him to the curb
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Wow, he was sharing a room with her should’ve been enough.
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It seems to me he is a compulsive liar. I think you need to step back from him and focus on you and your son.
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Run and don’t look back
You tell HR you’d appreciate if the women stayed away from you’re husband at the job.
They’ll move her or tell you’re husband it keeps on you’ll get corporate involved.
Don’t think you can’t handle it from home when you can.
But you’re probably better off walking away and focusing on that baby
Yeah, they’ve been in a long term relationship and she either doesn’t know about you or is a terrible person and doesn’t care
RUN
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Oh honey leave his lying cheating self. 
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I didn’t finish reading but respect yourself let her have him. Put his butt out thru the courts that way he still has to take care of home even tho he not staying there. I went thru that with my ex husband…and yes he had to pay all the bills . I was too stressed to work … And your having a baby which is too much to go thru with him. Let her have him but you reap the benefits.
I didn’t even read all of it lmao I read a huge red flag YOU MET HIM AT WORK. Leave him…
See its females like you i hate just because he did you dirty doesnt mean he cant see his son grow tf up…in my opinion that the lowest form of immaturity.
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You already know the answer…but access to his son isn’t contingent on his being in a romantic and faithful relationship with you.
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Um I personally walked to her and told her to back off and chew him out and walked out… If he can’t seem to get rid of her for good i suggest let him go and cut your losses and find another job… I have learned men will WILLINGLY GET RID OF OTHER THREATENING WOMEN without you ever knowing if they truly all about you and ONLY YOU… I have seen it done…
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Wish I was of help, but Im currently goin thru this myself.
Back in April when I 1st found out I was expecting, my spouse screamed & cussed me out in front of our 4 yr old son to the point I nearly had a mc.
He done it again the nxt night. Told me that he just wanted to go to bed at his set time (10pm). Whelp, that same wk I noticed messages on his phone between him & his HR wrker. I confronted him abt it & like ur spouse he kept sayin they were just friends. Then 1 night I seen on his phone where him & her were tlkn AFTER WRK HRS & passed his lil bedtime😠
I mentioned that as well & he just looked it over and blamed my overactive pregnancy hormones. They comment each other’s posts on fbk & are always sharing each other’s posts. I named that & his response was that if I couldnt handle them just tlkn friendly on fbk then I can get off his friend’s list😶
Whelp, I ended up unfriending him, but I can keep tabs on him thru his phone & HER page as well.
Im a sahm so my main priority is my 4 yr old son, my baby I carry now & keepin up our infant daughter’s grave.
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Wait… you 3 work at the same place and she didn’t know y’all were married?
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Girl, it’s as plain as the nose on your face what you need to do… but you already know you’re going to do nothing.
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I would NOT be ok with this. Not at all. You have every right to be paranoid.
Leave him. But don’t hold his kid against him, that’s manipulive and vindictive.
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Leave his ass but you already knew that AND if he wants to be a part of his kids life let him the problem isn’t with his kid
Girrlll! You are better than me. I been warned once about my comments so I’m going to keep what I really would have done, to myself. Get rid of him he’s cheating on you.
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I see nothing about him that would suddenly make him trustworthy. Can you talk to the other woman? See her side? I bet she could answer alot of questions.
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‘He wouldn’t be seeing his son’
That statement right there is you manipulating him. Children are not pawns in adults childish games.
Leave & grow up.
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I PROMISE “just friends” HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO SAY when you show up to tell them off… I have done this 5 TIMES they got my message LOUD AND CLEAR and I shouldn’t have HAD TO IF HE TRULY LOVED “ME”
My best friend is a married man. We’ve been close for damn near fifteen years.
We have never even thought of being more than that. I love him, his wife, his kids…
Nobody will ever control who my friends are. That’s ridiculous.
This issue with him is one thing but for you to say he can’t be there for his child is bullshit. Women like this got me fucked up hahaha
He 100% was cheating
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Take the trash out. 
Leave him but don’t hold his kid from him . co parent and learn to let it go honestly if he cares he would have cut it off period.
I’m so glad there are so many comments on her threatening to keep his son from him. Wtf.
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No. Do not trust him and you should file for divorce.
Sounds like he was completely trying to have his cake at home and his slice of pie at work
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Three yrs of this doesn’t tell you enough? Can’t keep the child from him though.
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Woah, leave. If he’s not willing to cut a romantic interest out of contact/even have that conversation with her, that means he WANTS those types of interactions with her. Know your worth & stop settling.
Saying that, fathers are incredibly important to children & you shouldn’t restrict their relationship bc of his infidelity with you. It truly sucks to go through it but the child will end up hating you more for parental alienation. One day, they will know the full story and you need to be able to say you did what’s best for them 
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It truly isn’t worth telling every "just friends " to back off because there will be another "just friends " later… they want their cake and to eat it too… wait for the guy that willing does it then tells you he got rid of them…
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I’d interduce my self and ask her if putting a rif in a marriage is her 2nd job or is it more of a hobby.
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You allow him to cheat on you, he is a cheater and a lier and you will be just going on the same circles over and over with him.
You keep allowing him to do these things so why would he stop? Get rid of him already 
Lord have mercy she’s asking for advice on whether to leave the relationship or not - GET OFF WHAT SHE SAID ABOUT HER SON……that detail will be resolved on its own by the courts. Bet ya a million bucks they won’t come to these fb comments for advice on how to handle it either 
bless
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Yeahhhh you can’t withhold your shared child cause your husband can’t keep it in his pants.
Grow up.
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Good lord what a soap opera
Read and listen to your post. You have gone thru this did 3years. At one point he told you he’d stop seeing you and the baby. He’s using emotional blackmail. It’s all up to you. He knows how much you’ve taking and will. Continue to behave this way because your only threading. You need to carry out your threats or except his behavior. Sorry for being so harsh and nothing hurts more then the truth. He doesn’t want to hurt her feelings but what about yours?
You have every right to be concerned. His behavior is not that of a normal married person. Get out and find someone to spend the rest of your life with that will treat you like you are married.
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Personally i think that the best thing to do is sit down with him and talk to him about how its been making you feel and tell him what you need from him to make it work and for you to be able to trust him but if you don’t think that you can trust him again then thats when you need to ask yourself what is is YOU want, not everyone else’s opinions good intentions or not.
You forgave him once. Second time he showed for a fact he wasn’t going to change
why even ask you know you will forgive him and stay
The thing I have a problem with is you saying you won’t allow him to see his soon ? I hate people who do that !!! Yeah he’s cheating on you leave him !! You don’t need that in your life ! But it’s HIS kid and he had every right to him
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Hmm seems you got yourself in a pickle there.
The trust has already been broken. It’s going to take A TON of repairing from both of you to fix anything.
Also WHY did he tell her this over a work email??? Makes absolutely no sense to me. You leave work at work and home at home. Yes I get it was an “affair” at work, however, he was plain stupid for doing that. If it would have been OUTSIDE of a work email, well then it would have been her word against his with HR. Honestly I feel y’all are both immature af and both need to go to counseling for your guys issues. Just saying…. You knew how he was and still CHOSE to stay and reproduce with the dude. He knows his issues and stopped seeking help. You both are wrong in this situation. I’m sorry but I honestly don’t feel any type of way. Just one of those ehh y’all made your beds and now y’all gotta lie in it.
Get a good lawyer and move on with your child.
He’s staying with you because you threatened to take his kid away. Grow up.
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You saw ALL the red flags and ignored them this long. Don’t waste any more of your life on this lying cheater. BUT your son has a right to access his father. You cannot legally keep him away nor can you punish your son for his father’s indiscretions
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Girl. Go right to the lady u will find out. And Sharing a hotel room. Oh f***Nooooo U already know the answer I’m sorry but figure it out now
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You pretty much answered your own question. Also don’t be that mom that uses her child as a chess piece to get your way. Can’t stand people like that just because its not working out for you and him don’t make your child not like him just because you don’t.
Just leave or keep feeling like shit and always thinking about what his doing. Its not worth it to feel that way.
Shared a car and a room??!!
F that and F him
Really🤦♀️ do you need a house to fall on you some many red flags believe me there is someone out there that’s going to love you and respect get rid of him
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Hell no. Kick him to the curb
I didn’t read all that. Didn’t need to. Throw him out. He’s absolute 
. Way too many red flags. My gut hurt just reading part of that.
Just walk away…he might then show you and the marriage some respect
I’m assuming you are a young married couple. Let me tell you a secret, having a child doesn’t stop a cheater from cheating.
He is lying and sneaking and made a scene on a work trip AND cancels counseling sessions … he has already moved on but lying to you because he doesn’t want conflict and going through a divorce and seen as a cheater …. He is a cowardly cheater
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You answered your own question hes continued to cheat on you the whole time
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There is 3 years of solid proof and evidence by your experiences, that he is far more concerned and emotionally invested in the way that his coworker feels, than his own wife.
He. Is NOT. Husband material.
Telling him you were not okay with it the first time wasn’t enough. Three years of you begging him to do the same thing isn’t enough.
At this point I would say you have allowed this man PLENTY of opportunities, and there is literally nothing you can say or threaten him with that his selfish mind would actually deem worthy enough to change. His issues are deep seeded and they aren’t something you are going to change.
At this point I wouldn’t even give the man an ultimatum. I would just begin organizing the steps that are necessary to remove yourself from his toxic behavior and wish him the best of luck.
They shared a room 
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Kick him to the curb
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Here’s what I would do if I were in your situation.
Show up to their workplace and make it very well known that you are his WIFE and seeing as you are MARRIED with a BABY you expect coworkers to set and respect BOUNDARIES within workplace relationships.
Make plans to leave his lying, unfaithful ass.
Split the child custody equally as not allowing him to see his child because of your suspicions is not on.
Accept that the heart wants what it wants and there’s not much you can do to change that, but know you are BETTER THAN THIS and worthy of a life with someone who respects you and isn’t a dishonest loser.
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Get rid of him he will continue to lie
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