Do I have a right to be upset about moving away fom my family?

Can you please ask if anyone has ever moved far away from their family and what the process was emotionally … we moved 15 hours away from the only state I’ve ever known away from all of my family, and so when they came to visit this past week I cried multiple times bc I was overjoyed they were in our presence and our children were together but also bc I knew it was only temporary and my husband thinks my reaction was unhealthy …

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You have every right. It is hard sometimes.

I moved away from mine 3 yrs ago. It’s an emotional challenge daily. But I did it to get well. I am moving closer to them again soon. Thankful my man gets it. You have every right to feel that way. It’s hard to be away from all you know and love

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He says unhealthy. I would say unhappy being away from family . Basically he has expectations of how you should feel. You need to straighten him out that’s toxic of him

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It’s hard. We move every two years and when they come visit or we come visit I hate when they leave. But it’s also made me stronger and my marriage. So look at pluses maybe. Go out and explore together

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I literally moved less than a mile from my parents house where we were staying until we saved up a down payment on our house and I still get a little emotional

I moved away almost 10 years ago. I STILL get emotional (happy & sad) every time we go to visit or someone comes to visit us.
Its rough. Don’t let anyone tell you how they “think” you should feel. Everyone deals with things differently.

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Of course, it’s hard!!! I moved 20+ hours away from home at 17. I felt sad and alone.
I moved back home at 21 and now thinking about moving more than a few hours away is sad.

No one can tell you how to feel you feel what you feel and that’s it.

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I moved away from my family 5 years ago about 13-14hrs drive
I visit as much as we can and they come and visit as much as they can
I still cry randomly while visiting or when I leave or they leave especially my dad that’s a real hard one to say bye too & it’s been 5 years & I still am a wreck having to say bye
it’s completely normal

My husband only understands to an extent because we’re in the same state as all of his family but I will say he never bashes me for my emotions he will simply say it’s okay we will see them again soon You’ll be okay it’s just for now
Still not what I want to hear from him at the moment because he doesn’t fully feel what I feel but I appreciate Him for that & trying

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Your feelings are yours, not up to him to say if they are right or wrong

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He sounds like an ass

For 2 yrs I was depressed and gained 35 pounds and only 2.5 hours away. Your family is your people

I moved away from my mom 9 years ago (like 20 hours away) and I still get extremely emotional every time she leaves from a visit. I cry multiple times a day for the first few days she’s gone. She is my best friend and it was really tough moving away from her. My husband is extremely supportive and knows to stay close to me those first few days she’s gone for comfort. It never gets easier.

Almost 5yrs in another state 18hrs away from “home” its still hard on me especially holidays.

I moved 1600 miles from home from everything and it still gets to me

It’s normal to miss family.

I couldn’t wait to leave. Lol. It was hard it first but once I got my footing I dreaded moving back. Now I’m about 3hrs away & it’s great. Maybe it’s just me but I kinda like being on my own.
If it’s truly bothering you, you should see a therapist. Your feelings are valid & no one should make you feel bad for them. My only recommendation is to not get upset in front of the kids. It can make things confusing for them & you can’t help them if you aren’t ok. :purple_heart:

I moved away from the only home I had known for my husband (my boyfriend at the time) lived over 20 hours away and never got to see my family in the whole two years we lived there! Until I got pregnant with my little girl and i told him I loved him but I was moving back home. And he said ok and we have been back home for more then 5 years❤️ I was 19 when I moved away.

I did the same thing but only moved 7 hours away I still cry every time we leave u cry when I see my dad cause I only see him a few times when I’m there I tend to start getting upset just a few days before we leave, because I know it’s temporary too.

It is not in any way unhealthy to cry, in happines or saddness.
I made it clear when I met my now husband that I would not move away from my home state again.
Thankfully our family only lived a couple hours apart so we found a place in between.
He even had to work away from Us for a few years to gain his experiance with the company he wanted to transfer to, now his work is only 15 min from home.
Why is it mostly the women that has to give up everthing and everyone, then to be shamed for missing the family! To sad!
I’m Sorry.

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You have every right to feel how you feel and if he truly loves you he will help you get to see your family more often. Prayers for you.

Absolutely. Your home sick.
My husband gets this way when we visit his home country.

I live about an 8-9 hour drive away from my family, different state. I moved here 10 years ago. You’re reaction is perfectly normal bit trust me it will get better

Yes. I moved to Germany at 19 and I had never really left my home town. I left for my husband because he was stationed there. I cried for days. Come to find out I was pregnant which didn’t make it easier. But it gets better. Cherish the time you have with your family when you see them and calling helps a lot too! You have every right to be sad at times.

Omg that’s not unhealthy that means you love and miss your family!

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Emotions are not unhealthy. You are completely ok to feel the way you do.

It is a completely normal reaction to cry like you were and your husband needs to understand that some people show feelings more than others. Do you know any military spouses? They are constantly going through this and it might help you to talk to other people in similar situations

Absolutely!! I wouldnt move away from my family, PERIOD!! For NO ONE!!

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Left home at 18. Married and hubby in military for 20 years. Never settled back in home state again! Dont miss it only family still there.

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Your husband and children are your family. Parents become extended family when you get married. I was a military spouse the first move was 15 hundred miles away and two other by moves were three thousand miles away each move was because I loved my husband and I looked as each move as an adventure and a time and place to explore this wonderful country that we live in. My husband was the one that always wanted to go home.

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It is not unhealthy to show that kind of emotion. You are human and obviously because you missed them, your blood family where you came from and you are still adjusting. Just keep yoir communication lines open for chats and video calls. Moving away should be a mutual agreement although you did not mention if you were forced & had no other choice.

As the child of a career military man and the wife of a career military man, moving across the country was a fact of life. Even moving to a new country happened. I am not able to sympathize too much. As a previous poster said, it was all part of the adventure. I and my children learned independence and self reliance early.

Me and never been so happyyyyyyy

Thank you author for this concept. Sooner I will also do the same thing of moving away from my family for my husband. As our family is getting bigger so we really need to separate.

It’s normal to feel those emotions; you are not in the wrong for missing your extended family. BUT it’s important to remember that when you get married and have kids that is the family you created.

We moved when my daughter was 6 months. First few years were hard but we only moved close again when she turned 13. I find it harder being so close now lol

He’s an idiot it’s very normal and healthy to miss your family and the only state you have ever known

Totally normal! I could never handle that emotionally

I moved from californa to florida when I was 28 with only 1 friend and a job lined up. Each person is different, I cried several days and made new friends and learned to love new adventures.

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Your reaction is normal but it is new so I’m sure you will adjust some. But if you and your family are really close it’ll hit you randomly and you’ll have days where you cry, that’s okay.

I live 2700 miles away from where I was raised and the majority of my family. I love my life now and couldn’t imagine moving back, but I still cry/get emotional every time I’m back in my home town and around family. It’s normal! You miss your family. Doesn’t mean you don’t love the life you have. Especially if it’s a relatively new move

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Totally normal. When I moved from NM to GA it took about a year maybe more for it to feel like home.

Normal! I moved to GA from OK last May, away from my family and friends, and I still get emotional about it. It takes alot of adjusting. I’m still trying to adjust as I am pregnant now but going to visit as often as I can and them coming to visit me helps alot plus tons of phone calls and texts!

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It’s hard as hell.

I married a soldier. Lived at home until I got married (college was where I grew up so, no point in moving out), then moved from NY to TN… One year later, moved to Germany. Now back in the US but to GA. I never left NY before then (outside of vacation) and my entire family was within an hour of each other.

It’s hard as hell at first. But, it does get easier. Eventually you will settle into your new life. Make sure to keep contact though, often if necessary. Skype, phonecalls, messages. Everything helps.

It’s still hard when my family visits/we visit them, and then we have to go home/they have to leave. But, it’s only brief now. I still love and miss them of course. I’m just used to my new family life.

Hugs. Of course it would be more sad if you weren’t. :green_heart:

I’ve live 12 hours at least from my mom since I was 15 and sometimes I’ll go a year sometimes 2-4 without seeing her and it never gets easy.

I moved 3200 miles away from home. It is hard having kids and not living close but we make the best of it! We stay busy. At first I cried for the first month. Now we have lived here almost 7 years and I am so glad I gave it a chance.

Everyone is different. Its ok to be sad, because you have experienced a loss of the way of life you were familiar with. Hopefully you will adjust, and learn to like your new city. Not everyone does and then you and your husband will have big decisions to make

I’d say it’s normal. Almost five years ago my boyfriend drove all the way to Georgia to come pick me up and we drove back to Arizona where we now live. When we stopped at a hotel for the night along the way reality set in for me that I was moving across the country from the only place I’ve ever lived in. I cried but it’s been a great decision for me to live out here

Your husband’s reaction to your healthy reactions are unhealthy!

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I moved to Arizona in December. We are originally from Wisconsin, although it has been an adjustment I do believe it was the best thing for my family. My family lives in Kentucky. So I understand the feeling of being isolated. Things will get better​:heart::heart:

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Unhealthy?? Why did you move? Lots of people live far from family

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Home is where you make it, “where you go, I shall follow”… in the world we live in, social media, FaceTime, zoom… embrace the new adventure you are taking in YOUR family, share it with your extended family. You may be missing great things by not welcoming the new environment

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I moved from Ohio to NC. I have no family here. Its hard sometimes but it was the best decision I’ve ever made

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The only unhealthy thing about that is the husbands reaction…

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I’ve done it and my daughter has too recently. It’s normal to feel like you are. Your husband should be a bit more understanding.

The Mirena doesn’t cause permanent sterilization. Maybe you should try talking to a different doctor and get a second opinion.

I lived in NM and moved to MA. Just about across the US. You adapt. I was never upset, yes I missedy family but knew I had hubby and kids for me. I think it’s part of growing up.

I moved from CO to FL then to NC. I cried, A LOT. Every time I came home to visit or every time my family came to visit me, when it was time to say bye, I cried. Your husband is being a dick. You have every right to be emotional.

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You have every right to feel how ever you feel. Does not matter what it’s about. You are your own damn person and if you want to be upset about something YOU HAVE THAT RIGHT! If the move was because your husband had to take a new job or something he initiated, his reaction could be because he feels guilty for taking you away?

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You have the right to be upset about ANYTHING that upsets YOU. No one else should ever dictate what you feel except you!

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I moved from California to NY last year and I have never felt so alone in my life. I grew up in California, all my family is there too. My husband’s family is in NY and although they all are amazing people is not the same. I talk to my family daily and I miss them and my friends. There are so many things I didn’t like about being here, and it definitely cause me to be depress. Luckily my husband understood and we have decided to move back. I don’t think your husband’s reaction is appropriate. I think that if there wasn’t a pandemic and career wise for me it was different, I would have stayed here.

I don’t think some husband’s are capable of understanding the absolute importance of a woman’s tribe and how much we rely on it to get through this thing called life. We moved across the country 8 yrs ago and the adjustment was and still can be daunting. Once you find “your people” things will start to look up. :cherry_blossom:

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Nooo, your reaction were normal because you are close to your family. Never feel embarrassed by that. Maybe your husband doesn’t share the same closeness to his family as you do to yours.
He should be more sensitive towards your feelings.

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Omg I’d died if I had to moved away from my kids and their families
That won’t happen till God calls me home

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I went on my honeymoon to the Jersey shore where My Dad Had a beach house. They came down at the end of the stay. I cried because I only see my Dad one a year RIP. Told my new husband I was staying there. Hahaha My Dad said no you’re not haha I feel you. It’s so normal.:v:

He could validate your feeling ,not dismiss them.Is his family close?

Sounds normal to me. You’re allowed to feel emotional about seeing family you haven’t seen for a while.

I moved 15 hours away from the only state I had ever lived in and all of my family and I loved every bit of it

Being away from your family is what’s unhealthy. Solidarity mine live 16-18 hours away. It was fine before I had a child…now it’s the hardest thing to deal with

I’m the same way and I only moved 5 hours away from my family. It’s so hard especially when you and your family are close.

Some people just aren’t that close to their family. But I cried when my grandkids moved out of state. And right now I’m going to visit them.

I moved to the phillipines subic for ,3 years.

If my husband said me crying over close family I hardly ever see and live so far away from was unhealthy, lord have mercy on his soul he needs to get a dang grip and show some empathy. It ain’t easy moving from what you’ve known for so long and having to be that far away from your oldest and apparently strongest support system. My husband (different situation) told me to suck it up when I was having a weak moment and I had started bawling and the look he gave me said complete disgust. That moment he reacted that way in one of my more sensitive moments has stuck with me two years later and it hurts just as much as when he first did it. I feel for you. Don’t let him invalidate your emotions, they are YOURS, own them momma, they are part of what makes you who you are as a person.

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I moved from CA to CO with my husband and son. My husbands choice not mine. Its just as expensive so i dont see a difference. We just had our 2nd son in february. I was close with my family here we have noone. Id love to move back some day.

I moved from one coast to the other and miss my family so much it hurts. It was for my husbands new job and so our little family could have a better life. But I cry every holiday and anytime I think about my sister. I’ve seen them once then COVID hit and I had another baby. No idea when I’ll be able to visit again or when any of our family will meet our daughter. It’s very very hard and I’m sorry sometimes me. Just don’t get it.

I’m only 5 hrs away and I get emotional when I visit or they visit me exspecially now that I have a son that my family is missing out on.

My husband would be fine living that far from his family. It would kill me and Im really not even very close with most of them and most of them don’t care to see me :slightly_smiling_face:

We moved 12 hours away from most of mine and my husband’s family was so hard emotionally but 3 years down the track. It is fine now. Enjoy visiting them and them coming but at the end of the day we had to do it for us and our kids to grow.

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The best time in my life I lived 22hrs away from my family :laughing::laughing: that was almost 20yrs ago now I’m 1.5 away from my mom and sister and we still only see each other a few times a year. We text or phone every cpl days.

20 yrs ago I left my family behind went to the other side of the USA. I have been devastated and lonely ever since. Every year the longing gets stronger. I am 64 miss my babies and their babies worst thing I ever did.

I moved from the UK to the States 22 years ago. I’ve never been more lonely in my life. I have kids, love them more than anything, I know they love me, but I miss my mum and my brothers. We don’t get to see each other often but when we do, I always cry when we have to say goodbye. Your reaction is perfectly normal and definitely NOT unhealthy.

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I know what you mean. I did it one time an came back home

Your feelings are valid. Don’t let anyone let anyone make you think different. It was a big change and everyone processes and reacts differently.

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It’s never wrong to express your love for your family and your feelings. It’s healthy for your children to see mom have those emotions as long as they don’t get scared and you talk to them about it. Being away from your comfort zone and people is very hard. I’m not sure why your husband can’t understand this and help support you. It may get easier with time and it may not. I tried moving away and I was very unhappy and just wanted to go back home. So we did. Everyone is different with different circumstances. We have a very close family and I don’t think any of my children would move very far away. Good luck

Lived in Wyoming near Yellowstone. Went to school in Indiana then Montana, married and moved to San Diego. Returned to Wyoming and then moved to Central Texas. Absolutely no family around initially. Saw brother 2X/year and sometimes not. Connected a couple of times with cousins in Oklahoma city. Back to Wyoming (1500miles) a few times, twice for funerals. Mom eventually moved here after Dad died. Then I became a widow. Children grown and live in Texas. Families scatter as needed for work, school or other reasons. Have reconnected with everyone through Facebook and phone calls.

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Your reaction is not only normal, it is expected in my opinion. I resisted moving 45 minutes away from where we were living, I cannot imagine moving a whole state away. You lost not only what was normal and safe for you, but also your support system and family. Everything is new, you probably don’t have family or friends, and are feeling very alone right now. His reaction is only making this worse, which is not fair to you.

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We moved across the country from my family a year and a half ago. Im in my 30s and we have four children.
The first year was the hardest! It was a dark time for me emotionally. When family visits now I still have a couple mini break downs. It really is something that takes time. I think its normal and natural, he doesn’t understand because men are built differently than women.

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I’ve moved from Ireland to America by myself then went home to graduate and came to Australia only me and my partner… 6 years here already and only been home once.
Obv when I went home and was leaving it was emotional but I love living in Australia… :grin:

Some men don’t like to show emotion , but that doesn’t give him the right to say yours is wrong. :heart: stay strong

You will get stronger and survive - because that is what women do. BUT there will be times you will feel totally alone, no foundation, no support, no shared memories. You will need to reach out and make friends, building a new support around you.
21 years ago I left my home country (South Africa, 34 flying hours one way) and moved to the USA. New language, new metrical system, new money system, driving opposite side of road, new cultural, new food … Everything different. I made it my mission to adapt and to make new friends, new discoveries, new memories. You have the ability to be content and satisfied in your new surrounding … And keep in contact with your love ones and use technology! You will survive!

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I moved far away… It’s completely NORMAL for you to feel this way…it’s hard to move far away PERIOD. I had an Aunt who moved far away and would come visit then have to leave and would be very upset. It’s NORMAL

Nope ur in the right it’s normal I moved away by myself no family no support nothing just a lil over 10 hours from my family I’m now currently pregnant to so it’s even harder I’m nt actually with the father of the baby his been a great support but at the same time it’s not the same I cry when I get to see them and that’s maybe 1 time a year when they come see me it hurts alot I cry before they even come during and after it’s hard but at the same time I kno I moved away for my reasons and maybe one day I’ll b moving back but for now I just try n stay as close ro everyone that I can

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I didn’t live around any family growing up. No cousins, aunt, uncles or grandparents. Life is what you make it. Have fun and see what your new place has to offer you, life is one big adventure, enjoy the world!

I think it’s perfectly normal. And yes I have had to move away from my family and cry when I have to leave them.

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No I’d think it’s. Normal

my husband moved the family from Texas to Georgia …June will be 2 years. He has all his family here, i have none. Its so depressing sometimes😭 my kids hate it here i miss my family.

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Your husband’s reaction to your reaction is unhealthy

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I think eventually it will get easier to accept, but since this is a new change of scenery, and your close knit group of people you are bonded with are not in the immediate vicinity…its tough at first Men tend to sort of be like: “meh, this is how it is now” and not think about it as much maybe? But it’s a logical reaction because you are far away from your community and loved ones, and your new norm is going to take some getting used to. I don’t see anything wrong with that.

No, your reaction is reasonable. I moved to a different country and didn’t get to see my family very often. I loved the place I lived but I love and need my family too. It gets easier eventually, but unless you’re getting physically sick or so depressed that you can’t function, I’d say you’re perfectly normal.

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