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I would be extremely upset, too. They say to trust your gut, and your gut is obviously telling you something. Listen to it. Good luck.
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The issue is the lying. Had he just been upfront from the start about the situation it wouldve been different. Why was there such a need to not bring up this meeting? Why not say your son and her daughter wanted to play again? Why did the convos stray from the children to over familiarities? Hes also trying to gaslight you by making you feel you did the bigger wrong my invading his privacy. Id be beyond upset and livid as any women would who wants nothing but mutual communication and respect.
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From personal experience and through friends, when confronted they always seem to lie and then when you show proof, they turn it around on to you or make out it’s no big deal. But the question is, why lie if there’s nothing to hide? I would recommend talking further though to try and get to the bottom of it. Everyone has a different mentality/thought process from one another. If he’s not open to it then seems like he’s being dodgy.
These pages that you liked when you were 18, suddenly pop up as an agony aunt collum 
He’s lying sis, get rid 
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I agree with all of the above!
Had it been the other way round he wouldn’t like it too!
Sounds like she is single, saw a father & son and thought hmmm … as a single mother, i approach other mothers instead.
Personally, I’d be furious. Men don’t seem to understand when they conveniently miss out a piece of information, yet then you confront them, they decide to get on the defence.
I wouldn’t be able to hold it in.
As women we have this function that we need to talk things through and men don’t have this function. They seem to just ignore shit.
If the relationship means something then find a way to talk it through with him
Or better yet, go find a single dad and have a play date with him and his child…but its not all about putting on one on each other. Its not about winning the battle because your meant to be together.
It is tough… Good luck x
I would be furious. If he had nothing to hide you would have known about it from day 1. Also his reaction is stupidly suspicious too. You need to initiate another conversation about it and ask him flat out what he was thinking and why did he not tell you about it. Ignoring each other is only going to leave things worse.
I’m a b*h so what’s good for the gander is good for the goose
Turn the tables on him, and when he blows up…then he might understand why your upset 
Not great advice I know lol but like I said I’m a bih
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100% go with your gut …the fact that the phone was around and out of curiosity let’s say you saw the text is a good thing …I would have confronted rite away but that’s me and I’ve been in quite a few cheating situations…sure enough unfortunately my gut has always been correct. .it’s probably better you waited other wise you wouldn’t have done this Park thang …it’s your heart was pounding and your stomach was turning that’s your ture gut …and the fact is he streight out lied to you about her ,even “leaving something out” to me is still lying. .I’m so sorry that you are going through this and take it from do not allow him to turn it around on you …she needed to be told by him that he was with you and for Godsake you 2 are going to get Married. . no,no,no once trust is broke it can change everything in a matter of minutes ooh just basically my advice it talk to him let him know exactly how you feel damn I mean I’d talk to her (or yell &bitch)or whatever it takes to get it through to cut yep exactly shoe on other feet lol however that goes…im getting all riled up ha but stop it now and honestly if he says sure you goeet someone as well then to me that sux and hurts and it doesn’t seem like you want to…look I was in.a 15 year relationship and 3years before I finally left him and the neighbors were married and she honed in on him as I new in my gut but time goes on work play raising kids …long story short I found them together finally together and I finally just had enough and I left his 2Sons and my Daughter were.already close to ending highschool but we made a Family of 5 for 15years and it was all ruined by loss of trust by single text message and it all went down hill from there that was over 10years ago but it was huge and broke my heart horribly I really never recovered. .so hope this helps goodluck be strong if it’s meant to be then he’ll stay with you take care of you and you lilBoy !!!
Trust your gut feeling.
Red flags babe. He definitely should have told you about this woman in full and communicated wanting a playdate before messaging her without your knowledge. Its dangerous actually you as your daughters mother should know where she is and who she’s with always. Sorry you’re going through this. I would just let him know even if he thinks he didn’t do anything wrong your feelings are hurt and he needs to know what he did crossed a boundary.
He needs to make you trust him again. If you r priority he would. Yes, you did breach his privacy… which is another issue, one regarding respect. But bottom line is… u found something. Who’s to say there aren’t more indiscretions in the past? Why and how did this happen? This isn’t nothing (he made plans with another woman in secret perhaps out of boredom, flattery, frustration in his own relationship, etc)
and should be addressed before marriage.
Your gut is usually correct, even if it feels like an over reaction in the beginning. I would be upset. The whole interaction/relationship was hidden by both him and the woman, even after you met her. Sounded like he was going to meet up with her again without telling you, which he may still do since he’s denying the continued interactions past the initial play date.
Always trust and follow your gut.
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Goodbye is the answere ,once this happens there’s more
Bottom line is if you have nothing to hide or lie about… you don’t! There is a reason he never told you two about each other. There is a reason he met her in secret. There is a reason they both pretended to not know each other in front of you. There is a reason contact still continued. And if I was a betting person I’d say they probably still are. Your gut is spot on. Hold off on the wedding for sure and seek counseling. If he does not want to and continues being deceitful, well you know what kind of man he is.
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He lied on purpose because he was interested in her. And of course he’d say you invaded his privacy. People are entitled to their privacy but when you’re intending to marry a person half of that goes down the drain. There should be no, “You can’t look at my phone because it’s private.” You’re getting MARRIED. THERE SHOULDNT BE ANY PROBLEM WITH YOU LOOKING AT YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND’S PHONE MESSAGES OR VICE VERSA. No maybe you didn’t have anything that led up to you thinking you had a reason to do so. But apparently God wanted you to find out and nudged you just a little. People say, “Don’t throw away years of being together over a silly miscommunication.” No ma’am. Lying and then getting mad and trying to blame you are all signs of cheating. He may not have done anything with her, but he thought about it. And he used your child as an excuse. I’d be livid. Give him the chance to admit to what he did and talk about it. If he can’t and sticks with the whole, “Well you invaded my privacy and said you’d never do that.” Tell him its a good thing you did because your gut was trying to help you and if he can’t be truthful and keeps lying then he can see that woman when she gets back into town but it won’t be with YOUR child and he won’t be coming home to you so have fun.
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If he truly feels like he did nothing wrong then why did he lie? But this sounds like this happened almost a year ago. You either let it go or take action.
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There is no other reason besides cheating that he would do all this.
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It seems as though he was trying to cheat. He seems to have no problem lying which is concerning for sure. It would make me wonder what else he has lied about. 
The best I could say is your either need counseling or to walk away. His intentions were wrong and I am 99% sure he planned to cheat. There would be no other reason to hide this and I would be furious that he brought my kid into the situation and used them as a pawn.
Shew… He’s so in the wrong and trying to turn the tables by saying you invaded his privacy??? If the shoe was on the other foot, how would he feel? Know your worth and what you deserve. Do you want to go on with life always wondering if he is doing this again? Move on if I were you. Or if he is truly sorry, and admits he is wrong… Counselling…
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My ex husband didn’t this a few time . We were together for 10 years. He eventually left me for another woman and I founds out he cheated on me several times over that 10 years we were together. Don’t ignore the signs!!!
Dont stay with a man you already you cant trust. He will bring you nothing but heartache.you already know this.
You have a right to be angry.
Red flags girl, red flags. You’ve been together that long, that behavior is unacceptable, yes there is the issue of privacy, but apparently you had good reason to feel distrustful of him. I would be dumping him.
There is more there. He lied and then tried to blame YOU for invading his privacy!!! The texts shouldn’t have been there to begin with. Stand your ground.
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He is trying to deflect the attention away which is a total gaslighting not to mention douchebag move. You have nothing to apologize for and he shouldn’t make you feel like you do. You don’t set up playdates at 9:30 at night and even if some alternate universe you do, you would tell your significant other about it, and you wouldn’t act like you don’t know the person when your significant other finally meets the person either. Sorry this is going on, I hope whatever you decide it works out judging from the comments you have support here! 
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He’s cheating or he’s open to cheating on you. Pretty simple. I’d never text some dude I met at a park while playing with my kids. I wouldn’t even accept the number. Married not interested thanks bud
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He 1 never told you about it. 2 hung out with her without you again and again and again, and never told you about this. If it was a “play date” he would have you knowing her so you guys could get the kids together. He’s using your child as an excuse and way to hang out with her without feeling guilty for it. There’s always motive behind someone keeping things from their partner like that. Also the texting back and forth. No need for all of that. The lying. Now she thinks he’s interested, and he is, obviously. Another thing, you meet her and they never say they knew each other or met? Why? Why wouldn’t they both say they had play dates if it was nothing… and she didn’t know rather you two were together or not? I think you know your answer… you need to leave.
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Id be pissed and him acting like the victim because you invaded is privacy is just trying to push off your feelings. Follow your gut and stand your ground.
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Ahhh That’s not ok? If you done that I’m sure he would be upset as well? If your child and another child had a genuine friendship and the Mother wanted to organise a playdate that you where aware of that’s ok… What he done was lie? I would want more answers? I don’t know if I would give up on someone I love for that? But trust would be an issue moving forward… Good luck
ALWAYS trust your gut.
Oh HELL NO! I’d be PISSED! I’d tell him any interaction between adults in order for the kids to play will be done through my phone by me and if he doesn’t accept that I’d delete the number out of his phone and text the woman myself. If she is a good woman she will understand that anything that causes arguments in a marriage (tell her that he lied to me about then hanging) and if she’s a good woman she will stop contacting him. If she refuses…well I know what park she usually goes to and she won’t like our next interaction.
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He is clearly flirting with her, and hasn’t made you aware of this friendship and hiding you and YOUR relationship. Very bad situation, good luck!!!
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Oh no. He absolutely used your child to talk to/get to know this woman. I would be incredibly upset. You are 100000% right. This is literally how affairs start. I don’t know why it never progressed further than this but thank goodness it didn’t. The intent was there though… at least it seems to me
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I read this to my bf and he says your guy is a pos. He’s looking for other women. He may not have gotten physical yet, but he’s open and scouting it out
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I’m apparently in he minority because to me, you’re making a mountain out of a mole hill. I trust my husband and don’t feel the need to control all communication. That seems exhausting and abnormal.
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He’s making you feel bad for shit HE did. He was caught point blank and now he’s trying to flip it that you did wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong.
I would message that lady. But that’s just me 
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I would straight up ask him how he would feel if the roles were reversed and YOU text another guy at 930 at night and not tell him about it… more than once .
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I have never been in this situation so I don’t know how I would react, but I’m HOPING I would have enough strength and self love to move on. I grew up watching my dad cheat on my mom and her constantly be upset. I will never do that to my babies. To me that is 100% cheating. If he would of told you about her, or even 100% stopped talking to her after she said she was interested instead of saying he would love to see her, I would be furious still but would probably get over it cause clearly he shut it down. The fact that he “shut it down” and then kept talking and agreed to see her again is just a big no. His intentions clearly were not good…
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I,d be very upset…You are in the right not wrong.I would stand my ground…This does not sound right…
I went threw this and I attempted to work it out and it ended up with him having an affair get out and away while you can!
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Very wrong, my partner wouldn’t go out of his way to make any new female friends now we have a daughter and it’d be the same for me I wouldn’t go making male friends in passing, he made the choice to lie aswell you’ve every right to be annoyed, I’d be so annoyed using my kid as a pawn to meet up 2ith another woman
I would be upset, and hurt as well.
The fact that he kept it from you and then lied about it makes the whole situation shady. Maybe he liked the fact that someone else was thinking he was a “total babe” and just liked the attention this woman was giving him.
Doesn’t mean he fill out cheated physically. But he definitely emotionally cheated and only you know how to go forward. If you decide to stay just know it will take time to build that trust.
I personally don’t agree with the excuse that you broke his privacy. When you are married there shouldn’t be anything private. You/he should be able to see every text, email, bank account and whatever else you guys have. If there is nothing to hide then there will never be issues with what can be accessed.
I’m going to play Devil’s Advocate hear, and try to see things from his point of view. 1) he may enjoyed the interaction since you have admitted that your communication is ‘lacking’ - he’s probably missing adult conversation, and you are too busy to provide it. 2) You DID break his privacy, you went looking for trouble and found it. 3) nothing seems racy or sexual, it sounds like she tried and backed off once she found out he was engaged. 4) he probably didn’t tell you because he knew you would be upset. And he was right.
I would suggest marital therapy, see if you both can work on communication and adult time together. Just because you are together with a child doesn’t mean you stop working on the marriage/relationship.
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Your feelings are totally valid and you have every right to feel betrayed, hurt and angry. If your uncomfortable with the encounters they had with your son then make it known. If it was innocent there is no reason they should have denied knowing each other prior to your meeting her at the park. He lead her on by not making it known he is engaged and he did you wrong but not pointing it out to her right away. Stay strong mama. Wrong is wrong no matter how you put it.
No no no no no no noooooo this is absolutely NOT RIGHT. Ask him… if roles were reversed… how would he feel if you did this exact thing to him? Ask him “would you flip out?” “Would your mind wonder?”. He had absolutely no right to do this to you. Those gut feelings… LISTEN TO THEM. They never fail you. There’s more to this in their intentions. He made this woman think he was interested. Regardless if he doesn’t know how to navigate or communicate those things… your name… your position (she’s my fiance, girlfriend, wife) never slipped from his lips. He screwed up on that. Listen to your heart and mind. I think you know what you need to do. Goodluck honey. Blessings 
Dayummmm nooooo no so epically morally wrong on his part. That’s shadey af and your gut is telling you what’s up!!! Don’t ignore your feelings because he is being totally dishonest and it’s quite clear that he knew it was wrong or he would have made you aware and asked if you were ok with it. Can he really be that ignorant to not know that any contact in such a way as that isn’t appropriate when you’re with someone else. Smh. Shameful!! I’m sorry but I’d never trust him after that. Good luck darlin.
Red flags galore…if he hasn’t been physical with him yet he will soon. If he had nothing to hide he would have no reason to be angry with you and I’m sure he will more than likely start deleting messages. I would contact the lady and ask for honesty.
I don’t see how it’s invading his privacy if its an old phone your child was playing with. I check kids electronics all the time.
I know I would be upset if my husband took my children to meet up/ have a play date with someone I wasn’t talked to about first. The fact is, he should have told you he met a nice lady at the park, and she wanted to have a play date, but since he didn’t it brings up his motives. What were they?
Everyone makes mistakes, but to not take accountability for them, or learn from them makes the “mistake” a choice. He chose not to tell you. So now your gonna be wondering what else hasn’t he told you… sit down have a grown up conversation. If he can’t do that, then he might not be worth it. Just because he’s a great dad, doesn’t mean he’s a good partner.
I would be so hurt and angry, I wouldn’t have been able to hold it in! He is definitely interested in her, and you have every right to go through his messages, especially if you feel like something isn’t right… 
You invaded HIS privacy?! That defense is #1 sign hes guilty of something in my opinion. He hot caught and is trying to place blame on you! If I found out my s/o even ONCE brought my child around another woman behind my back, shit would hit the fan. Girl, im sorry, thats straight disrespectful & same level as cheating in my opinion!
Trust your gut!
If YOU did this HE WOULD NOT BE OKAY WITH IT. just keep that in mind. There is a reason it upsets you and that is because his actions were wrong. You have every right to be upset, do not let anyone convince you otherwise. Hold your ground. Don’t just sweep it under the rug. Instead, have a conversation with him and ask him WHY he felt the need to pursue a relationship with a woman (even if they never “did” anything) that he KNEW you would not be okay with. He would have told you about it from the start if he had nothing to hide.
No male or female in a relationship should be texting another, at 9:30 in the evening, ever, period.
My husband - says that in a guys world. That is him shopping for a new mate…
He cheated. And if he hasnt yet, he wanted to.
It’s not right you read his messages. So you either unconsciously knew something was up or need to do some inner work. His behavior is exactly what you are seeing and saying. It’s all exactly as it is. You can apologize for crossing boundaries and still be hurt and uncomfortable by what you found. Once you catch someone being deceitful it will never go back to same trust and safety that was there before. Don’t call that woman or bother with her at all. She is not the problem. I’m sorry this happened to you and you should give some deep consideration to what you can live with moving forward. Rough patches are a part of life and should not waver the stability of trust and honesty in a relationship. Good luck.
Every right to be mad i would’ve divorced his butt.
Time to go. He might be a good father but he’s a terrible boyfriend.
Always trust your gut feeling.
Ang Margaret hellllll naj
always trust your gut
It sounds like he’s not getting what he needs and is looking elsewhere. If you want to fight for this man, if you still love him, and want to build a family with him… you need to step up. What he did was wrong, however, when human beings aren’t having their needs met, emotionally or physically they will look elsewhere…being upset is fine, but fix your relationship before you drive an even bigger wedge into it. …married 25 years and 10 kids 
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I wouldnt trust it one bit, if he lied he has a guilty conscience about something… now with sending pictures and what not i think you should stand ur ground, its easy for ppl to think the grass is greener during these times. So sorry for you
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Red flags!!! Your happiness matters and your child deserves to see you happy, don’t let guilt into staying just because you have a kid together make you decide different. Children want to see their parents happy!!!
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He shouldn’t have anything to hide. I like phones and messages too be an open book with my significant other. If you have a problem with me seeing who your talking to than you have something to hide and that’s when trust issues start. He hid it, and lied. He clearly doesn’t care about how you feel.
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You have every right to be hurt and angry! He crossed a major line there by keeping it secret. That just goes to show it wasnt as innocent as hes trying to make it seem
Trust your gut. This isn’t going to go away in the future and it will become future fights. Don’t marry this man. I’ve learned that people don’t change. Things will just get worse and, don’t let him be your biggest mistake that you will regret. Don’t waist your time with him if this is his response.
Things happen for a reason good job your wedding was cancelled once a cheat always a cheat once the trust is gone that’s it
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Yeah… there’s no reason why he should not have told you . Your uneasy for a reason
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He’s hot after this women@
Fuck that. Trust your gut. So many red flags.
Follow yr gut and talk about this with him honestly and openly. Know where u stand in your relationship before tying the knot.
He is trying to turn the tables on you… make this about you and not about him. Don’t fall for it! You did nothing wrong!
Well your wedding was rescheduled a time or two. That should have told you something there. Something was trying to not let it happen. He may be a good father to your child but he needs to be a good DADDY AND GOOD TO YOU. I’d tell him no more friends with that WHORE or I’d get a divorce. He’s not good. He’s going to really break your heart. I’d divorce him and sock it to him. He will NEVER CHANGE. Better listen!
You have every right to be upset. In a relationship, especially with children involved, there needs to be honest and open communication. Maybe you could sit down and try to talk about the issues with the situation. How it isn’t so much having a play date but the fact there was no communication that happened and then complete lying when confronted. You could even write out a letter first so all your thoughts are in order and it also helps keeping things from escalating. Even ask him to write a letter out to about his feelings. That way both of you can be heard and you can then try to come to a compromise.
Ask him how he would feel if you spoke to a man he gave you his number , you met up with another man on play dates without telling him and he found out ,
Every woman will understand why you feel the way you feel , he’s round some other woman’s home and some woman are untrustworthy regardless if they know your in a relationship or not ,
He just needs to see it from your prospective even if his intentions were innocent or not
Get rid of him he crossed a line and lied numerous times. Know your worth sweetie
Sounds like he was being very sneaky…get rid of him
If he was on the up and up he would have told you what was going on when it was going on. If it’s innocent there’s nothing to hide right?