I am upset that my mother decided last minute not to come to my daughters birthday party because my little sister (5 years old) has a gymnastics parade an hour away that day…she tol dme she was coming a few weeks ago and the date was fine but now all of a sudden its the same day as a parade that she for some reason cannot skip…do i have the right to be upset?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have a right to be upset that my mom isn't coming to my daughters party?
You can be upset but why would she skip something for her daughter it’s obvious she forgot and is t doing it on purpose
If you’re little sister is apart of the parade than she needs to be there if she isn’t apart of it and your mom just wants to go then you have the right to be upset
Have and enjoy the party.
Would you be skipping your sister’s party if you daughter had an event to be at?
I miss alot when it comes to my kids events…
You have the right to be upset about every silly / dumb thing if you want, should your mom care ? Not really.
You want to prioritize your daughter and she want to prioritize hers
Move the party up so they can both be there?
So the only reason your mother isn’t attending is because your 5 yr old little sister has a gymnastic parade? Your mother should be present for your sisters event after all that’s her daughter. Then maybe they can stop by afterwards. But u really shouldn’t feel like you do as I’m sure if the tables were turned and it was your daughter’s event you wouldn’t miss it just bcuz your mother was throwing a party for your 5yr old sister on the same day.
You can be upset but in the end that’s her kid. She’s in the same situation as you with your kid so I wouldn’t dwell on it.
I feel bad for your sister to have someone like you😞
It is a pattern or one time thing? If it’s a one time thing I understand it’s hurtful and you wish she was there but I’d try to move past it. If it’s a pattern then I understand why you’d be upset and you should think about setting some boundaries and changing your expectations of her.
I think your feelings a valid. However, so are hers. It’s unfortunate, and I’m sure she will make it up. She just can’t be everywhere at once.
Yes but your sister is in a parade. She also has the right to have her time too.
No you have no right to be upset. Your mother needs to be at her daughters parade. Grow up !
HER DAUGHTER comes before your kid… the fact you think she should choose y’all over her own child… entitled. If you’re so upset change the date of the party
Eh… I’m kinda on your moms side. I feel mom should be present for her daughter before a birthday party for granddaughter. Maybe you could celebrate with her some other time that works for all of you?
How would your little sister feel if she missed her parade? Missing either event will hurt someone & your mother. Try to put yourself in her position.
No you don’t have the right to be upset. She wants to support HER CHILD. Her daughter is more of a priority that her grandchild.
Life is to short to be mad about something neither kid will remember for long. She is your mom, she is your sister. Family is important. Let it go.
Why don’t you believe your little sisters event is important to her? Why do your wants come before hers? She’s still growing but you’re already grown so wouldn’t that mean your little sisters needs are more important than yours right now. I mean would you as a parent decide not to go to an event your child is part of just bc your other child’s throwing a birthday party for her kid…? If the answer is no you’d put the child with the event first then guess what that’s what your mother is doing right now. Stop being selfish and allow your mom to do what she needs to for your little sister. If that means having the party a little later or earlier then so be it. Yeah you can be upset at the situation but as a mother you should understand why your mother is doing what she is.
Obviously your daughter is very important to you that’s why your upset . Just like her daughter is important to her . Pick your battles with your mom I’m sure she’s not doing it to be mean or hurt your feelings that’s her kid
My kids come first
So you’re missing your mom’s daughters parade to throw your daughter a birthday party?
So many people bail on our kids birthdays that we decided next year, we aren’t wasting the money on a party nobody attends. We are just giving our kids a day out.
Would you not prioritize an event your child is in over a birthday party? Especially for gymnastics. They work super hard for those performances. Reschedule the time of your daughter’s party if it’s that big on an issue for you. Good lord.
Would you skip your daughter’s gymnastics parade for a birthday party?
Soooo, you could care less about your sister being in a parade but you’re upset about your mom not attending your own kids event? That doesn’t even make any sense. Move things around. Take your daughter to your sisters parade and then do the party afterwards. Seems like you’re just being selfish.
Switch places with your little sister for a second. How upset would you be if your mother went to her grandchild’s bday over something that’s important to you?
I’m getting the vibe that there’s some jealousy over your mom giving your sister more attention than she gives your daughter.
No I’m sorry you don’t. Pick your battles. This isn’t one of them. Why shouldn’t your 5 year old sister have her mom there?
Your mom may be the only one there to cheer your sister on and your daughter most likely will have others at the party and won’t miss her. She won’t be offended unless you make a big deal about it . I rarely go to the Peter Piper chaos and instead take them out for breakfast one on one a different day.
I mean… sure be upset but keep in mind she is one person and can’t be at both places. She has to be mom first and foremost and that includes before being grandma. It wouldn’t be fair for your sister or sister’s team for her to bail either. Demerits may be given if they miss the event. Im sure she wants to be there but as a mom I’d make the same choice.
Is your sister upset your missing her parade to be at your daughter’s party?
Take a moment and think about this….She is not only your mother, she is also an active mother to your 5 year old sister.
Your daughter’s birthday party will still carry on with all the other people that are able to attend. But who is going to take your sister to her gymnastics parade? Ask yourself one question? Do you want your little sister to miss out on her special gymnastics event?
I bet your answer is no…
Always put yourself in other’s shoes before reacting.
I can understand being upset, but I’m still 100% on mums side here. Your sister is 5 years old, imagine how she’d feel if her mum wasn’t there for the parade, I know it would break my heart personally… your daughter has her mum for her party, just make the most of it I’m sure your mum will see her for her birthday another time?
You’re always allowed to feel how you feel. It’s how you react that matters.
In this case I would let it go. Maybe they can come hang out after the parade.
No you do not get to be upset, will you skip your daughters event for your moms daughters event, most likely not.
She’s going to support her daughter like she probably did for you when you were her age. You sound jealous of your 5 year old sister. It’s not like your mom just didn’t want to go, there was a reason
She should go to her daughters parade.
She’s 5. Who else is supposed to take her to the parade? If mom was non-supportive she wouldn’t have committed to come in the 1st place. My advice? Show her some grace because “momming” isn’t easy.
Your daughter and your sister are both fortunate to have their moms active in their lives. Enjoy it and remember no one can be everywhere at once.
No she still has to be a mom and I’m sure the parade is important to your little sister. I think you need to be a little more understanding. Shit happens…maybe she forgot, looked at the calendar wrong or the parade didn’t get planned until after she told you it shouldn’t be a problem for her to be there.
Couldn’t you just have a little separate party just with your sister and your mom?
Was your mom there for all your stuff growing up? If so, stop being a brat. Your sister deserves the exact same experience and YOU are YOUR child’s mom and need to be there for her. I think both people will be precisely where they need to be and you need to swallow your entitlement
Nah your sister is five. She deserves to do all the things with mom I’ll bet you did too. And how old is your daughter is she even gonna notice or care? I think you’re being selfish.
Your sister is 5 so yeah mom needs to be with her. I’m sure she would love to be at the party but the parade takes priority. Just keep this in mind when you are wanted somewhere special but your child also needs you at that time, who will you put first?
You are jealous of your 5yr sister …
Even tho she’s your mom…her very very young child still takes priority over your daughter.
Your little sister has every right to enjoy her parade with her mom. Your kid can enjoy the day with their mom.
See how that works?
So your sister should miss something important to her so your mom can go to your daughter’s birthday party?
Nahhhhh. That’s not okay.
Your mom has an obligation to your 5 year old sister before your child, always.
No…disappointed yes but upset absolutely not…you are a mother now so you too should understand that life happens and choices have to be made in the best interests of your child.
You think she shouldn’t take her 5yr old daughter, your sister, to an important event? Really??
Yes she can skip parade or get someone else to take sister if it’s that important to the child but your mom should be at party for her grand baby …. She has obligation to you as her child as well! I wouldn’t make a thing out of it but think she could figure out a way to work it out maybe parade and then come go to dinner with y’all I think missing the party is less of an issue than not making any effort at all to celebrate her grandbaby birthday
So you don’t want her to support her child, but want her to come through for your child? I couldn’t even imagine being that selfish.
your lil sis is 5, you’re a full grown woman… your full grown woman mom is also a mom to your lil sister… shes putting her attention on your lil sister cuz shes still a young child, let her be there for her without turning it into a family issue that isn’t actually an issue…
Your sister is 5…. Who is supposed to drive her to the parade lol???
You both clearly have young children, you know first hand being a mom is hard.
Cut your mom some slack, stuff happens, life just doesn’t always work out perfect like we want it to.
This is going to sound harsh, but her young daughter is still her first priority over your daughter. I’m assuming the age thing may be a bit weird because your sister and your daughter are probably around the same age. But you have to understand, from a mother’s point of view, that you have to be there for your children.
Your mom should go with her 5 year old daughter
No, parents put a lot of time and money and drill commitment into kids for these extra curricular things……and it’s more important then partying……clearly you’re jealous……of your sister
Kids need to learn what’s important as adults……not to be selfish over parties
responsibilities to teams and commitments as a pose to parties……
Sorry but you’re missing a crucial point here
Her obligation to her young child outweighs her obligation to a grandchild or to you.
Perhaps she can come before or after the parade.
How old is your daughter? Did your mom go to your events when you were small? If you had to make the choice, I’ll bet that you would go to your daughter’s event. If you don’t cause a big flap, your daughter probably won’t even notice. Save Nana and your sister some cake and ice cream!
Umm your sister is 5 years old and a gymnastic parade is a big deal to a 5 year old. Do you not realize how much work your little sister actually puts into gymnastics? Get over yourself seriously. It’s sad you as a mother don’t realize that schedules will conflict with each other but you will realize it sooner or later and you’re going to look back at this and realize how ridiculous you sound. Your mom can actually pick your daughter up the day before or day after or even after the event and do a grandma/granddaughter day just the two of them since she’s missing the actual party.
I’d try to switch when the party was if possible. She’s trying to do the right thing. It’s hard being a parent to older kids
Your sister is 5. I’m sure she would have been their if the scheduling hadn’t collided for the same day.
If you were so pressured for you mom to be there… you could have changed the day of your daughters party or the hrs of attendance… Be a Mom to your young child, and let her be a mom to hers.
Can’t they come after.
Unfortunately you need too be a little more understanding. Can you push the party ahead 2 hours so your mom and little sister can make it. This is a big day for her
Maybe? But with kids U have to make changes. & Sacrifices. & some people have trouble with it.
You show grow up. Your sister Is 5. That parade is important to her. Your mom can take your daughter to celebrate her birthday on a different day, your sister can’t make up going to a parade.
Sure you can be upset but that’s a tough spot for a mom she wants to be supportive of daughter and also be there for her grandchildren. I hope she’ll be able to come after or before or maybe just to stop by the next day. Save some cake for mom.
Not upset no, these things happen it can’t be helped. Have the party and then the weekend after or a few days later let your mum take your daughter and your dieter out to do something special with them for her birthday…2 special birthday days, sounds like win win to me. The parade date could have changed for many reasons, someone being ill, maybe someone recovering from covid…that’s just life it happens, make the most of it.
So…….I do understand the disappointment. I really do get it. But it sounds like she still has a little one of her own she has to take care of and keep up with too. She’s still got to be a mama to her other little girl as well. Which I’m sure you already know. But that’s apart of it. Those parades, practices, recitals, all of that goes along with the parenting gig. So, I mean I get your frustration but as a mother of a 6 year old little girl myself. I see her side of it too. Maybe celebrate with her another day? That way you both can do what you need to do.
No you don’t have the right to be upset. I mean your sister is 5. She is a little girl.
Umm no I think I’m this situation daughter comes before granddaughter. It’s hard to split your attention between children especially when you’re a grandma and a mom of a little one. You’re going to have to accept that your mom will not be able to be there for everything. Your sister deserves to have the attention you got growing up.
My aunt was mad at me and my grandma and mother for attending my own 8th grade graduation instead of her daughters high school graduation 5+ hours away the same day. The parade is important to your sister. Things happen and schedules change. Your mom can always take your daughter and celebrate another day, your sister can’t do the parade on another day. Be a little understanding
She can’t change the date of the parade
Would you miss your 5 year olds parade ?
No. That is a big deal for your sister, and it won’t happen every year for her. You are being selfish. My
Well it is her daughter and to that child at that age it is a huge deal. Don’t make a mountain out a mole hill. I’m sure they will stop by after the parade or make another special time for just family for her birthday.
Nope. Let it go. Life happens.
There will be times you think you are free on certain dates and then realize something was scheduled and you didn’t realize or forgot about so you have no right to be upset with your mom so let your mom take your daughter and do something special on another day.
Feel however you want to it won’t change what happened. Are you going to be able to move on.? Being bummed out is one thing but move on I’m sure your mom and sister have, Stuff happens that doesn’t have anything to do with you.
She needs to be There for your little sister !! That’s something important and your daughter will have more bday parties !!! You only sound childish and even though shes your moms grand daughter you shouldn’t be making her choose her over your little sister ! Get over yourself !
Your sister is 5. Your mom has priorities. Her main one is her child. Your child has a mother who will be at her party💁♀️
It’s only a big deal if you make it one
I don’t know your age compared to your sister’s age, but there are 17 years between my oldest and my youngest, and while I would be sad if I missed my oldest child’s kid’s birthday, my first responsibility is to my minor children. And my adult child’s responsibility is to their own offspring.
So if my 22 year old had a child with an event on the same date/time as my own child’s event, I’m sure we would all be disappointed but I’m going to choose my offspring over my grandchild, especially with an event like this. I would expect my adult child to be disappointed (maybe) but understanding.
Just like I wouldn’t expect my adult child to shirk their plans with their own child to come be with my minor child/participate in their event over their own kid.
No. Would you skip your child’s event? No right? Get over it.
Seems like a valid reason.
My mom didn’t come to my sons bday because she didn’t want to be around my dad. I’m 32.
Nope your sister is 5 I’m on your moms side in this maybe she got the dates mixed up maybe not even still like others said she comes before your child
So, you want your mother to come to your daughter’s birthday party and not attend her daughter’s parade? You have no right being upset at your mom for supporting her daughter, your sister. Either move your party time so your mother and sister can attend or have your celebration without them.
Straight out selfish, for goodness sake its your 5 year old sister. Grow up.
I was once in your little sister’s position. My sister and her hubby had a baby 6 months before I was born. I can’t imagine my sister acting like you.
I went to things for my neices and they went to things for me. When schedules conflicted we did our own thing,took pictures and told each other about the event.
Don’t spoil their chance to grow up as loving friends.
She needs to be there for your sister. I get that she said she would come but things happen.
Get a life you are jealous of your little sister
Well damn ur old enough to have a little sister who is 5 and have a kid that’s crazy the age gab there and yes u have a right to be upset why do people ask these questions. Your feelings matter because they are YOUR feelings and no one else’s but you also have to understand she is a mother also to a little girl who would be devastated if her mom is not there for her and she also has to take your sister ro this thing as well
No. She’s taking your sister to something. Sometimes those things are scheduled last minute & they do have to be there
When you put your child into activities— it should be a commitment. Your sister has a commitment to gymnastics and therefore needs to do her event, not skip it for a birthday party. Speaking from someone who’s been in organized sports and had kids in organized sports— sometimes it’s just last minute when we find out.
Be kind and send them some cake
You’re expecting your mom to put your daughter above her daughter?
You sound selfish… You want her to miss her child’s event for a bday party?
Would you take your own child to their parade or make them go to a birthday party. Wouldn’t you all want to watch someone perform in a parade
yes you have a right to feel the way you feel. it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to me, but it’s ok if it is to you. you cannot ask anybody else if you have a right to feel a certain way. they are not you.
why do people ask others “do i have a right” YES YOU DO BECAUSE EVERYBODY IS ALLOWED TO FEEL ANY WAY THAT THEY WANT TO.
Oh boy, now, never speak to her again over this bs:flushed:. Damn throw away generations are going to be so sorry