Let me know if I’m wrong for being hurt and upset by my husband’s decision. I just had my nasal polyp removed early this afternoon. I was starving when we got back to our hotel and was looking forward to eating. I was given guidelines not to bend over, not to lift anything over 5 pounds. I have my sister and 3 years old here. I suggested we should order in for supper. But it turned out he had already made plans with his brother, who apparently gets really hungry after his dialysis. He’s been in dialysis for a few months. I wouldn’t ha e minded if he chose to have supper with him now or any other day. NOT the day of my surgery. Now he got pissed off and decided not to eat out and stayed with me. Because I told him I didn’t wanna eat anymore and didn’t wanna waste his time. Am I overreacting?
He should understand .
I would have just ordered in for my sister, child and myself. Not like he was hanging out with friends or partying. 
Why couldn’t you all eat together? Or was the issue really that he was inconsiderate of your feelings during a time you were vulnerable?
Yes, you had your sister with you and his brother’s illness needs support too. It would have been nice if you all could have eaten together though.
A little, you did say your sister is there and that it was a simple surgery out the same day, I know dialasis normally means a serious illness, he probably didn’t realize that you would have restrictions after and made plans before he found out. He stayed home to help you, value that and let it go (eat dinner) because by staying he is admitting he was mistaken and that you are his priority
You have to pick your battles & decide what is even worth causing friction in your marriage. You stated that your sister is there with you so it’s not like he was leaving you by yourself.
You might wanna apologize & just let him know that you over reacted. We as women do that sometimes, lol
No…he needs to overlook what he wants, you are the one who needs his help.
But…after all of that…he stayed home like you wanted and you STILL got mad?
Yep. Overreaction.
You had your sister.
And he needed to be there for his brother like he usually does.
I think he didn’t tough your surgery was life threatening. But I’m sure he love you
Mmm kinda. Are you heavily medicated? Sounded like you were doing ok planning on eating in anyway. Also surely he wasnt going to be gone all night. JS
No why didn’t you just order food for you and sister kid
Communication goes a long way
A nasal polyp 
and you desperately needed your sister AND your husband?Come on that’s OTT,even without the fact his brother is obviously seriously sick🤦ps if I was your sister I’d be raging:smirk:love time alone with my sister’s
Yes…clearly you have no idea about kidney failure and dialysis that is actually debilitating…having ivs the size of garden hoses inserted into his arm and filtering all the toxins from his entire blood volume…get a grip. Hopefully his brother will be ine of the lucky ones to get a transplant instead of dying on dialysis
I suppose I’d be upset too. I’d tell my husband how rude he is n then suggest3d he goooooo
Why not just all go out?
Yes, your feelings are valid. Men tend to be less empathetic and sensitive. It’s maddening that they need to be told to help what is needed, and some of them are just plain common sense. It never helps because we women always writhe with guilt and we think if every single thing needs to be told only u’ll move your ass, then it’s petty and calculative we end doing everything our own eventhou we are bleeding and suffering inside. It’s up to u when to draw the line thou. It’s hard living with someone who is completely oblivious to your pain and suffering
I personally wouldn’t of been upset. My husband would have called to make sure we didn’t already have plans.
Why couldn’t you gone with him and eaten together as a family! Yes I think you overreacted.
Why couldn’t you eat with your sister and him his brother?? I mean as long as you eat and have help who really cares.
I dont think so. That’s how you felt because you figure he would want to make sure you were ok and spend time with you.
Now… not eating is bad. Make him make you something
Yeah you definitely over reacted! You should apologize to him and let him go spend time with his brother!! You have your sister with you too.
No he is an asshole when u have surgery you needed him and he didn’t care
I think sedative drug interactions can make us feel a little sensitive to things we otherwise wouldn’t have been. With men you really gotta be straight forward in your expectations and not assume they will know what we need from them. Trust me doing that will leave you very disappointed lol. If he was leaving to chill with friends I’d be very upset but he was going to do what he always does for someone going thru something very serious. He probably had no idea you would even have restrictions nor want him to have lunch with you. I’d be grateful he stayed home once he found out how you felt but dont waste the day being mad about such a simple misunderstanding/miscommunication. The important part is he loves you and put you first once he knew. Hope you feel better soon. Any surgery sucks.
Wow…I am reading some of these responses and am amazed!!! She had her nasal polyps removed, she was conscious and obviously able to at least partially take care of herself. Her sister was there to help her with anything she couldn’t do for herself and yet he was the bad guy for wanting to be with his brother who was going through dialysis. Obviously his brother is in far worse shape than she is and needs someone to help and support him also. Are we as women truly that selfish that all we think about is ourselves in a situation like this? His brother could die even with dyilasis, she will NOT die from her surgery.
He probably didn’t like feeling and knowing he was in the wrong but wouldn’t have known better because men don’t think things through. Sorry you have a right to be upset but it was totally something that could’ve been settled and he over reacted by canceling. You did a tad too. instead he could’ve just told his brother to come over and order take out, so you could’ve been home and everyone could’ve been fed and happy.
Not sure I’m understanding. Why couldn’t you all eat together??? Why couldn’t hubby and his brother go pick something up and bring it back so one big happy family chillin’, watching tv and eating.
The drugs got you feeling some kind of way. Your husband is also a brother, son possibly an uncle and a father he has people who depend on him emotionally besides you. You want to feel like his priority that’s cool but surgery in the sinus vs. Dialysis which will probably be fatal… If they were going to a titty bar maybe your valid but if they were going for regular restaurants you may want to rethink your position js.
You’re entitled too you’re feelings and that’s perfectly ok. I do think though that you may be slightly overreacting but I don’t know some of the other facts to this such as are you out of town and in the brothers area? How often does he get too see the brother ? Personally I would have made a girls dinner out of it since you have your sister there and order in. And let him go because after surgery you don’t wanna deal with stress it’s not healthy. You have a right to be upset he’s your husband and you naturally would want him to be there for you but at the end of the day it’s not worth a fight. And I agree with one of the previous comments that after surgery and while on pain meds your emotions are completely fragile. Hope you have a good recovery!
Please her feelings are valid. She just left the hospital too and needed him there. He would have known better to stay with her throughout that day. Why is it ok for him to make other plans? Is she not a person too?
I had polyps removed and all I remembered was sleeping afterwards. Maybe he thought with your sister there that it would be ok.
Is the sister 3 yrs old? Or 3 yrs younger than you? I’m confused
Yes, you are over reacting. Couldn’t the sister help you while he went with his brother? His brother had dialysis.
It was a polyp removal his brother can die any given time during dialysis
If you were that hungry you all could have stopped and picked something up BEFORE going back to your hotel and you and your sister and 3 yr old could have eaten and taken naps while he went to have dinner with his brother.
I read stuff like this and wonder how marriages survive REAL tribulations. 
You had your sister , he’s probably the only one his brother got .
But, I understand why you felt that way .
The amount of judge in these comments is crazy. Lots of jumping the gun when i feel like this isnt a complete story. The brother is on dialysis( which from my experience is 2 to 3 times a week) she states hes been doing it for a min. Ive never had this surgery so i dont know the healing it takes but i know after my csection my husband was home to helo with our 4 year old who needed to be fed and entertained and my mom was here to help me with just about everything. ( i was cut up and down so i needed help just sitting or standing and picking up my new born).
So yea her sister may have been there but 3 year old are alot of work and shes under the influence of drugs. The brother isnt. Yes what the brother is doing is exhausting and he needs support as well. The husband still should have communicated with the op before hand that he had plans. My husbands grandfather is on a dialysis schedule and if my husband needed to be with him id understand but id want to know before i had any type of surgery so i had help for me. Anesthesia affects everyone differently. So stop judging her for having feeling. Yea she may have over reacted but he also failed in communication. 🤷
This page keeps showing up lately with the most ignorant questions…really?? People cant figure this shit out? I realize asking for advice on social media can be valuable but maybe try reading a few books on basic communication first?
He should have tajen caee if you first knowing that you cant lift and carry didn’t his brother have another relative that could have tended to him! You put your wife and kids first and foremost if you can’t do that stay with your family and don’t marry
Yup, you’re overreacting.
Your “surgery”, was barely a scratch at best.
You have your sister and kid with you, AND, you’re of adult age. You order your own food, and tell your husband to pass on your love to his brother when he sees him. You don’t throw a bloody tantrum, just so he stays.
He is acting like a jerk
He should be there for you. No need to say why. Actions speak louder then words though on what he wanted and wanted to do. Not good.
It’s a polyp and not your kidneys shutting down, get over it…same day surgery is NOT major surgery. I had both hips and knees replaced in 13 months (now that’s surgery) and my husband was at work the day I came home (usually 1 day after surgery), I had to use a walker to get around for 2 weeks. I know you think YOUR surgery was bad but his brother is basically dying. Transplant lists mean nothing for some, dialysis is not a cure all, it’s the final stage before transplant or death. You should let him spend time with his brother. You had your sister and 3 yr old…you wanted it to be about you and it backfired…should have do it alone with hubby only…inviting the whole gang meant 5 people with 5 preferences! I think you need to research Diabetes and Dialysis. You made a big deal out of it and then didn’t want to eat, temper tantrum and you know it. The only person we control in this life is ourselves so think before you react. Most things aren’t that big of a deal, keep making them one and people will leave you. Too much drama.
Yes you over reacted. You threw a tantrum because you didn’t get what you wanted. Think about how his brother must feel because of your fit. His brother is going through dialysis much different from removing a polyp. Plus your sister was there. I have had sinus surgery I was not at all hungry afterward I was in pain and wanted to sleep. I think you had your answer before you asked it here maybe you were looking for someone to tell you that you hubs was wrong. He wasnted you were
U r not wrong for wanting him to stay in with u after u had surgery. Its one day and u wanted him to b with u. I also understand why u didnt wanna go anywhere. The way u handled it may not have been the best way to do it but we have all done it. I would recommend after things r settled down a bit sit down and calmly explain why u wanted him to stay in with u that one day. In the end communication is the key to making things work in any relationship
No, not at all!!! He should of been considerate of you!!! Knowing what you are going to have done!! He’s in the wrong totally
yes you are dialysis is ruff and his poor brother my dad does dialysis you had your sister
I’d say a wee bit…but it all hinges on what you can actually do.
In my opinion, you have a right to be hurt. When you get married, your spouse and family come first.
Yes you are, dialysis is horrible
You had a right to be upset but sounds as if he really didnt think it all through and ment no harm. The real issue started with your response. Could have stated just being upset and why but you chose to go the route of im not eating, mad etc… How you handled it made the issue escalate. Communicate like adults and go to dinner. Have a great evening and prayers to you for healing.
I would let him go eat with his brother because dialysis is very serious…with that you never know what could happen…his brother could take a turn for the worse at any time
Sounds like you got you nose stuck out of joint 
FFS he’s brother is on dialysis, he’s pretty much circling the drain and u want supper 
Petty shit in relationships does my head in!
Fights like this are just silly. You could just order in with your sister and 3 year old like you wanted and let him go with his brother. He wasn’t going to leave you alone 
Why couldn’t you all eat together
Awe geeze. I get u feeling hurt cause it probably seems like he “picked” brother over u. But u could have compromised. What’s wrong with u all going together??
Yes. Why do so many women need thei husbands to hold their damn hands after surgery? You had your sister with you, didn’t you?
He should have told you ahead of time about his plans with his brother. Then you could have explained you want him to stay with you after the surgery (not that you should have had to). You have a right to be upset, leaving you after surgery when you have a three year old with you is inconsiderate.
Omg this sounds like a nothing argument🤦♀️
Kinda but he should of been there for you even thro your sister was there
I’m sure hes been around his brother alot u just had a procedure done its ur time now .
Brother couldnt have came and had dinner at the hotel? Youre not paralyzed you all couldve went out to eat with him. Definitely a silly thing to be mad over, pick your battles
I think you overreacted
His brother is going through something very serious and you had another person there for you. He wasnt going to be gone all night or anything.
No, your man should always stand by you,but I know how you fill,my husband had a bad surgery and I was there Thur it all by his side.iv had 4 surgery’s on eyes and a pacemaker twice in two months,he was not there for any. I know it hurts your heart a lot,but I tell myself he has a problem not me an trust me it does not get any better.
I don’t know. If I’m having anything done and I require my husband by my side he should be there. People on dialysis aren’t always on death’s door. The question is why did he make plans knowing you were having something done? Why didn’t you make plans together?
If it had only been you, your husband and child yes I would say be upset but he may have thought since you did have your sister there that you wouldn’t mind him having dinner with his brother who may or may not have had an extra person there to be with him…yes it hurt your feelings but to not want to eat was a tad bit childish to say the least - as the others have said pick your battles and think before you do. Hope the issue gets resolved and all can have a meal together in peace.
Just go eat with everyone…?. This was an unnecessary disagreement.
He thinks of what he wants all the time,one surgery he was fishing with a friend an my 83 year old mom had to drive me an stay with me…next time he has one I’ll be there my heart is better than his,
So take care of you an just move on,all you can do good luck sweetie
I would say yes you are…but I feel you. You really weren’t hungry for food… maybe some attention.lig this time
Just order yourself some goshdarn food, I know I get hangry and overreact too lmfao.
Why couldnt you have all ate together? Whether it be in or out. His brother is doing dialysis. Thats rough. There was no reason for you to throw a tantrum and pull the “I’m not eating now” thing to make him feel upset too… Marriage is sometimes about compromise and I can tell you if my husbands brother who is still with us (god rest the soul of his brother who passed) was going through dialysis I would be grateful to share another meal with him, another memory made with family… I would give anything to be able for my husband to have lunch with his oldest brother again…remember that you never know if you’ll see that person again, when you married your husband, his family became yours.
Everyone has their opinion and preference. Is it a big deal? Maybe to some end not to others. You have every right to feel how you feel. He should have coordinated and planned on making the rest of the day about you.
How old is your sister? Could she have helped you get something to eat? Was there someone else to help your bil?
Yes you are. I had mine removed and I wanted to go to work same day. Grab a snickers.
What’s the difference, you told him you were mad and he did what you wanted. End of.
Both sides was wrong, both could have said nicer things and been more thoughtful on both sides.
Sounds like he didn’t things though
But you could have also been more understanding.
Why couldn’t all of you went out to eat together? Sounds like both of you over reacted.
I mean you do have your sister there to help you out. If it was just you and he was leaving you with your child alone I would be upset but that’s not the case.
He’s being dramatic. He should be with his WIFE when you’ve had a procedure and need help.
The bond between brothers can be stronger than you realize… Especially if they had a routine. He may not have considered your needs at first, but changed his decision based on your needs. Maybe be grateful and a little more understanding… it could have just been a miscommunication.
You wanted special attention it’s ok to be clear about that. Men are not mind readers.
We women romanticize about everything and it’s making us miserable. Make it clear what you want!
Guys dont think things thru and yes you have a right to be mad
Your sister is there with you but he can’t be with his brother who is going through far worse??? Think about that for a bit.
The whole story is ridiculous. Why couldn’t you all go eat? What a mess. Over nothing.
My thoughts are why couldn’t yall go to dinner together? I know after surgery you prolly just wanted to lay back n relax. It is a bit hurtful I realize that your husband didn’t think to include you in the plans, but rather than getting mad ,you could have said oh ok where we going to go eat? Problem solved
Can see both sides of story after something like that you might not feel like going out why not invite you husbands family over and get takeout maybe instead of writing things on here you should maybe talk to him and try and sort things out x
I mean, a little. He could have told you earlier about his plans, but you could have ordered in whether he was there or not
Honey you had a minor surgery,and have your sister to help you.Your brother in law is very sick,and may pass away.So yes your husband needed to be with his brother.You could order in,he could have dinner with his brother,then come home to you,and cuddle.You threw a tantrum like you’re the 3 year old.You could’ve even had you bil come to your room for take out.Or let your husband know you wanted/needed him today.He’s not a mind reader,and most likely didn’t think you’d need him,as you have your sister.This sounds like a misunderstanding,talk things out.But don’t blame him,he’s probably doing his best.
I think it’s reasonable that after having surgery you’d expect some level of caretaking from your husband without having to ask. I think its all about how you approach talking to him about it. I realize now that a lot of my husbands unnecessary reactions are a response to my unnecessary approach. I do think he’s throwing a hissy fit and it’s worse when they stay to be with you after getting all melodramatic so now nobody is eating any food lol. I would have asked my sister to get me food and him and I would have discussed it after the fact. Or I would have simply asked him to bring me some food prior to leaving to eat with his brother.
So, am I right that you told him you didn’t want to eat anymore out of anger and frustration? I mean, you probably genuinely feel that way, but I have to be honest, those seem like manipulation words. You have every right to feel like your husband should choose you. I agree with you. But if saying, hey honey…I really wanted you to stay with me since I had surgery today isn’t working, then you have to let him go. I know we don’t want to come out and say those things because they’re so raw and honest. We want them to want to choose us. We think it should be obvious they they should or would choose us. But most men are not driven by emotion, they’re driven by logic. Very likely in his mind he was glad you got out of surgery well and once that was all wrapped up he was like ok she’s good now I can go. If we put them in a position to make emotional decisions they will often fail. Not because they don’t love their women, but because they’re not thinking emotionally. They are clueless about what we want. Whether they “should” or “shouldn’t” know…they often don’t. Women as very emotionally driven creatures tend to yes, overreact, because we don’t want to just come out and say look I was really wanting you to stay with me I feel like I wanted you here after my surgery. Then like I said we wrongly assume that if it wasn’t their idea that they didn’t want to and they don’t care. Insensitive might be a better description for it, and I agree it WAS insensitive to you. But Ken can be dopes, and we have to be absolutely straight forward about what we want. 
Yes its overreacting. You can easily eat with your sister and 3 yr old. Grow up
Dialysis is not a good sign, most people I know of that have been on means that their have messed up kidneys, and eventually, they get to an unlivable state, and those times with brother could be cut short anytime, youre not in kidney failure, let him go with his brother next time, or like someone else said, you all could have gone out or had his brother come visit and still had dinner together…your husband has a legit reason to be upset, you are overreacting. You have your husband more than his brother does…you have your sister…
You sound extremely selfish. Just my opinion. You had your sister with you, why can’t he be there for his brother, and why couldn’t you all just eat together. 
Not really. That would piss me off too. I have strict instructions to follow after an extremely uncomfortable surgery and you think that’s not important and I don’t need help?
Are you kidding me you said you weren’t hungry anymore and said you didn’t wanna waste his time… In my honest opinion you’re a child.
Raijak Sammy gimme some feedback cause I think even though she had a surgery his brother’s condition is worse than hers and a lil understanding would be in order. Also if it was me I’d just tell u let’s eat together or I’d insist u eat with bro cause I wouldn’t wanna risk anything happening to him if he ate late. I dunno I might get bashing for this but this does seem a tad childish but then again we’re not all the same. Some demand a lil more attention than some I’m certain situations and that’s okay. At times.