My husband’s family invited him to join them for a fishing trip. It’s a place he’s never been. I’m excited that he gets to go w them. But what I’m having a problem with is that his parents r paying everyone’s way, including 2 of his son’s friends to go, but the only way I could go is if I came up with 1500 dollars. Am I making a big deal out of nothing or what? Bc, I’m feeling extremely left out and hurt that everyone gets to go but me. What do I do? Bc I am very excited that he’s going bc he’s always wanted to go and never got to bc of work issues. I have been very supportive and helping him pack and letting him talk about it. But inside it kills me that I can’t go.
Wives should come before the friends, I would think. I see married couples as joint. If I invite one, I’m 100% inviting the other too. That’s kind of bullshit and props to you for being the bigger person about it
Wow!! That would piss me off too as well…
Did u ask why u werent n the trip!??
They can pay for your sons friends? Would feel left out big time x
I would be mad at everyone. Have you told your husband you want to go? I would be pissed at him if he knew I wanted to go and went anyway without you.
You have a right to feel however you feel. It’s good that you’re being supportive. I do think it’s fair if they were paying his way that they would want y’all to pay for yours. That’s quite a lot of money they are spending on everyone but I understand you feeling left out cause I could never afford that and would not be able to go. I don’t think the sons friends are relevant but I’m sure you feel they were chosen over you. No great advice here but I understand how you are feeling.
You have every right to feel the way you do.
Wait why is your husband even ok with going? You havent out right said that he asked you if it were ok so that’s enough to piss any wife off! And I dont get mad often
You have every right to feel the way you do. I personally would just save my money and go to a dang spa to have some personal momma time and enjoy the silence and peace
I don’t understand how friends get paid for but spouses don’t? I don’t have self control like that so I would have definitely bitched but told him to go because he wants to. Everyone deserves a break, but it’s still not right, and I would have brought that up. If you’re someone who likes to prove a point start doing your own things and exclude them. Maybe they will get the picture
You have a right to feel how ever you feel but that is their money and they can spend it or not spend it any way they want. Honestly it sounds like you’re acting like a spoiled child who isn’t getting their own way.
You say “2 of HIS sons friends”, so I assume you are a second wife or step mom??. Looks like they don’t see you as part of their family. How is the relationship outside of this?
I have been treated the same way . It hurts deeply . I am so sorry !
This falls under the same category as “What other people say about me is none of my business” Because you have been made aware that others were not asked to contribute money to go, it’s obvious they wanted you to know that fact. I say if you want to go…call their bluff and pay your own way as if you would have expected this from the git go. Trust me, it will bother them more than you know. And smile, smile, smile!!!
My husband wouldn’t have gone if I couldn’t go. Period.
I would feel left out too but I probably wouldn’t say a thing till after he gets back. It’s great that you are being supportive of him going and having a good time. He needs that guy time to enjoy and then have thay conversation when he comes home.
I could be wrong but it sounds like a guys trip🤷🏻♀️ I certainly would encourage it and grab a girlfriend to come over.
Why are they paying for son’s friends but not for their DIL? My husband would at least offer not to go if that had ever happened. How is your relationship with in laws? Before this.
Eh, I see differently than everyone. I’d be happy if my husband got to go somewhere he wanted to go and didn’t have to pay for it. Definitely sounds like a guys trip. let your husband enjoy his time, some of y’all kind of sound bitter lol.
I was in the same boat 2 years ago turns out the ex was taking another woman on the holiday my ex and her now have a baby together he had us both pregnant at some time 9 weeks between them so yes I would be very upset at my husband and his parents
I feel like there is more to the story. Are they paying for spouses to go? I would be hurt. But also excited for my husband. Do you guys have any kids? If so do they expect you to just stay home with them instead of going?
You have the right to feel however you feel. But did you ever think maybe they reached the max of what they could spend? You figure 6 people you mentioned I mean thats 9,000 out of their pocket… I understand how you must feel but try thinking about it from a different point of view. Sounds like a guys trip anyways.
Kind of sounds like a guys trip to me. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t be upset at all. There is a lot of information missing too.
Is other wives going, would you have issues with kids and house hold responsibilities if both of you were to go?
Yes and no. Let him go have an experience with his family, your with him 24/7. Be disappointed, it’s ok. Dont make him choose between you and them.
I’m sorry but his family is making it obvious that they don’t want you to go. Yes, you have the right to be upset. Guess I’m surprised that your husband didn’t say something to them. I could understand if it was " just a guy trip"
I’m Not saying to do anything bad but if I were you I would make my own plans to do something with my friends when he goes on his trip.
I would be mad but I wouldn’t want to spend a minute with with people who clearly don’t want me there. Enjoy your time alone or with your girl friends/family. Save your money.
This sounds like a all guys trip. There is something missing in this story. Are all the spouses going? Are you the only one left out?
Were you invited? I think it boils down to that.
Yea no way would any self respecting man leave his wife behind
Sounds like it may be just a guys trip??
You made no mention of the spouses going, or any women really… if this is the case, then you need to let it go and set something up for the ladies for the same weekend.
Simple thought in my opinion why aint it eating him up inside why doesnt he want to try to come up with the 1500 ???
Tell your husband how you feel and if he still goes without you then go have some fun to…You shouldnt have to sit at home alone feeling like you do while everyone else is having fun.GO DO YOUR THING AND GO OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS OR FAMILY
Feel what you feel but his parents can pay for whoever they wish, I would be hurt too, and while they were gone would do something I have always wanted to do
Is your husband mom going and is anyone else’s going that women? I would feel
Left out to you are right to
Trip out. My husband family does this to me.
If it’s guys only then I wouldn’t worry about it. But if it’s spouses and they are fronting the bill for everyone and not you I’d be pissed. I could see maybe paying 1/2 and them 1/2 for a couple, but if it’s a guy trip then let it go.
I would be upset too have you spoken with your husband bout it enjoy yourself being home by yourself spend some money on you
Do something special for yourself while he’s gone
You have the “right” to feel whatever you want. Are you justified? I’d say no. If the other girlfriends or wives were being invited or paid for, he should address this. But as it is, it sounds like it is a guy/family trip. Plan something fun for yourself and be happy for him.
I’m sorry but your husband was supposed to talk to his parents and tell them that he has a wife that he love and he’s not going to leave her behind instead he’s happy to go what kind a love he has for you
BC you’re his family
Once he marry you your are the most important person for Him , I’m not saying his parents are not important what I’m saying is that this shit is complete wrong on his side more than his parents you need to know they don’t like you stay away from them , but he’s been selfish, my husband will have said if my wife is not going I don’t need to go either that what a husband that loves you will do .
I don’t think she probably cares about going, it’s the fact she didn’t get an invite. Regardless if she can come up with the 1500$, they should of at least invited her.
If it’s not an all guy trip and the other spouses are going, I feel your feelings are totally justified. Me personally I could care less about fishing, and I think anyone that pays 1500 to go fishing is an idiot… if I were you, I’d let them waste there money on taking him and when he gets home you and him plan a getaway together.
Are other spouses going or is it a guys trip?
For all of those who say “this sounds like a guys trip”, ummm, I’m pretty sure it’s not otherwise she wouldn’t feel left out of a GUYS TRIP. Besides, she mentions that his parentS (plural) are paying for this family trip…from what is described, she is not included, which is BS imo because as a wife, she should be considered family automatically, and I would be more upset at my husband for NOT having an issue with this–we’ve been together for over 20yrs, so something like this would be out of the norm for us. And yes, I would be hurt and upset in her situation, but I honestly wouldn’t force myself on this trip either. I would discuss with my husband how I felt and I would bring it up to my MIL too. Find out the reason and move on, if it’s that important. And while he’s out with his family, do your own thing that makes you happy💕.
I wish my husband would.
But he would never. My husband would ask me how I felt about him going on a trip but he wouldn’t go anywhere I wasn’t invited. And I’d do the same to him.
I felt left out for 27 years my ex husband never stood for me so I know how you feel stand up for yourself
If his friends are married too are their spouses invited? If not I would reach out to them and invite them for a little dinner/drinks relaxing time just ladies
I would go to the organizer of that trip and ask, "How come I am the only person that is expected to pay my own way? Do you have a problem with me? I would want everyone one present! I could never have done this when I was younger, but now I see that speaking up, does a lot of clearing up!
Take 1500 & have yourself a self care weekend!!
What the fuck ! No offense my husband would never do that to me if they asked me to come up with that amount of money he would Immediately pass
I’m not married… but if my boyfriend’s family went on a trip and he knew they didn’t want to include me unless I paid 1500 dollars he wouldn’t go… Because that’s just him.
I think you have every right to feel the way you do. that’s not how it worked when my sister-in-law invited everybody to Disney.
1500.00 for a fishing trip? Very unfair of your in-laws.
Your husband is in the wrong for not thinking of even asking if you wanted to go , or asking his parents why you are being left out. I’d be pissed.
You were included, you are just upset you have to pay to go. No one is obligated to do anything for you; however, common decency and compassion would compel the in laws to think about how you would feel. If I wanted to go, I’d pay my own way and “Act as if” I just fine. After the trip, I would Express my feelings with my husband and then the in laws to see if we had some issues, unbeknownst to me! Stop giving people power over you and identify where you fit in to their life and stop trying fo force your position.
You have every right to feel the way you do. And your husband should have stayed back with you or paid for you to go. Your in laws don’t sound like nice people.
I don’t see why anyone ever posts ANYTHING in this group. Its just a bunch of catty fucking women arguing constantly. Literally.
Personally I’d just enjoy the alone time
If they want to pay for my husband and son’s to have a big trip I say go for it
Not my money not my decision how they spend it and I’m not going to deprive my husband and kids of a free trip
Would my feelings be hurt?
Definitely, but I wouldn’t dwell on it
If other spouses or girl friends are going, then yes, not nice. If it’s a guy trip, then no. Plus, you didn’t mention if you have children.
If mostly everyone was paying their own way, I’d say its not a big deal, but it sounds like they’re paying for family and non family EXCEPT YOU, which is bullshit. I’d be angry as hell.
be happy for him it cou ld be his last trip with family
You would probably be aggravat
ed if you wanted to be tormemted by them. You need to go do something that YOU enjoy.
His parents are going. Unless he has 2 dads…
How rude alright! I’d be pretty gutted for sure:disappointed_relieved: but if they are going to be like that would you wana go on a trip with them? I would definitely tell your husband how your feeling and that it is so bloody ratshit of them (cause it is!) But like others have said maybe take this time to get your gfs together or go solo and do something extravagant
Out of curiosity… other than your husband’s mother, is it an all guy fishing trip? You mentioned, your husband, his brother and friends… it may be that its more a boy’s trip and leaving you out is more of an oversight than anything.
It definitely sucks and i totally would feel the same way but saying something to the in laws will make you look bad imo but i would def talk to your SO about it
I would be hurt too. But then I’d realize, yes they have a problem with me. They obviously dont really care. They dont want me there. Going would make it uncomfortable. I probably would open my mouth during the trip and “ruin” it for everyone.
But I wouldn’t be so hurt about it while hubby is gone. Definitely take the time to have girl time. Do your own thing. Have fun without them. When hubby gets back tell him how shitty that was. His parents are childish. He should have had some questions about why you couldn’t go without having to pay your own way, why you weren’t included. Why is everyone else getting pampered except you. Seriously that is very shitty of them. Also your hubby as well.
you have every right to feel left out, because that’s a crappy thing to do
Why is your husband so selfish? Why doesn’t he stick up for you?
Okay your married to him? That’s just plain rude! They should be ashamed of themselves, why is your hubby not seeing this?
Um Hell No ! If they asked everyone who wanted to go to pay their own way than yes that would be fine . But to pay for everyone else and not include their sons wife in there that’s straight up BULL_ _ _ _!
A. Does she do trips without her spouse?
B. Does she like fishing?
C. Are the other spouses going?
There’s not enough info here to give proper advice. Are other spouses going? Is your mother in law going? Is it an all guys trip? Have they actually stated you’d have to pay your way to go or are you just assuming? Have you already talked to your husband about how you feel? Do you like fishing anyway, or do you just want to go to get away? Your husband might want to go to also spend quality time with his dad/parents. If you really want to go you need to talk to your husband and see what he says. Because if your in laws are paying for family friends but not for their own daughter in law to go, there’s something weird about that if it’s not an all boys fishing trip. The only advice is to discuss your feelings with your husband and wonder if you’re being left out on purpose.
IF its a guys trip, plan a less expensive girl trip for you to go on with your friends while he’s away or when he’s back?
My ex husband’s family always did that to me, was so frustrating and my kids were young, we didn’t have cash for anything for me. I’ve had my freedom for 20 yrs from him now but I wished I had planned my own weekends away.
How is it that friends can get a paid spot but spouses can’t? That’s a problem. I would be upset too!
Rola Mohamad LMAO some in-laws mate
I wouldn’t take it personally…$1500 is alot of extra money for them to pay to take another person. If my parents offered to take me somewhere but we had to pay for my husband I would understand.
I mean it depends. Is it a guy trip or are other wives/GF’s going? If it’s just they guys I would be a little sad because I would miss my husband but not hurt. If other significant others were going then I would be pissed UNLESS they paid their own way. You were given that same option
You have every right to feel however you feel, and there’s a lot left out like how old are the kids? Is every single family members SO being paid for except for you? Is it meant to be a trip from the parents to the guys of the family? Do they do this often? As someone who gives and gives and it’s never enough, can you imagine planning a huge family fishing trip, even paying the way of 2 kids friends, which is another thing being taken care of for you, so you don’t have to.
Idk talk to your husband if this is a regular occurrence and everyone else’s SO has been paid for. If not, and his parents are doing something special, and you’re actually not the only one left out then accept it and enjoy some time alone.
Sounds like you’re saying your husband, both of his parents, your stepson (you said “his son”) and their friends are invited and paid for. So it’s not a guy’s trip, it is a family trip. The kid’s friends are invited, stepmom is not. I would feel like they weren’t accepting me as part of the family. My biggest problem would be, why TF is husband ok with it?
Pay for ur own trip.
U dont need anyone money sweet heart .
Go with him.
And there is no harm if u do bring it to his attention.
That his family didnt invite u and invited non family member .
And that if it was ur own family it would have invited him as well .
Mmmmm I would discuss that with my husband. He should know how you feel. If he knows you are the only one required to pay and he has no issue questioning that, I would be pissed.
I would not go somewhere without my wife. I think you should tell him.
Personally, I would be upset. If they’re paying for non-family members to go, and not you, then that’s just rude. My husband has taken a few weekend trips without me but I have always been invited.
This post makes me so grateful for my mother and father in law! Family is important to them and they would never do something like that.
Good luck to you, hopefully it all works out well!
It kills me he feels ok with going and not paying for your way or asking his parents why they aren’t inviting you. I feel as if you should be invited by default. To be honest, he shouldn’t even be going to protest. Or just said he was paying for you because you are his other half. He shouldn’t be going without you is all I’m saying. I just don’t know how he could even have considered it. I’m appalled by your hubby more than his parents.
That’s just cruel! Shame on them!! That’s some crappy in laws!
Honestly that’s crappy of your husband too! He should happily pay your way or not go. I know he’s excited but you are his wife. You matter more. He shouldn’t be ok with his family disrespecting you like this
It sounds like a males fishing trip…why would you want to go…unless you enjoy fishing and can hook ur own hooks etc
Wow i would seriously talk to your hubby about this tell him how you feel. He should tell them if she can’t go I’m not going.
I just think that’s it rather odd that the husband knows they being paid for and invited them yet you arent and he is ok with it. You support him but he doesn’t support you back beause he is doing some thing he wants to do and doesn’t have to pay for it. He doesn’t even consider your feelings as long as he fun with or with out you. That’s a jerk full on
If you have 1500 dolars then go
He should ask u to go,even if u decided not to go
Discuss with your husband. Let him know how you feel. You are his family. He left his parents house & took a wife. He should not be ok with this, eventhough he’s excited for this trip. Then let him go on this trip but let him book you into a Spa for that same amount of days. What’s the point staying home alone, wondering what fish they caught. Do it while sipping a cocktail poolside at a Spa resort.
Honestly, I just read this to my husband and he said if his family did that to me, he wouldn’t go nor would ANY of our kids. Disrespecting me is disrespecting him.
If it’s a guys only kind of thing, including the grandsons friends, I wouldn’t worry about it. If other wife’s and girlfriends are being paid for to go, then I would have a talk with your husband about this issue when he gets home about how you feel about it.
If the whole family is going and being paid for by the in-laws and you aren’t you have a problem with your in-laws. Your husband shouldn’t go on a family vacation without you. But if it is just a guy thing then leave it be.
Is there a possibility that he doesn’t want you to go and expressed that to his parents so they are covering for him? If not, maybe they didn’t have enough to cover for everyone so they chose the people they really wanted there
You have the right to feel your feelings. The perception of it all does not look good. However, the best way to know for sure is to ask. I completely understand though, I would be upset too. If you end up staying home make this time all about you and enjoy yourself.
Sorry, but I think we are missing a part of the story… Does anyone else have to pay? What is your relationship with all of them like? Why would you be singled out, and why does it not seem to faze your husband?? Did he offer to help you come up with the $$? Something seems to be missing from this story…something critical…
My family was going to pay for me to go to Cancun with them this year. (I’ve never been, nor has my husband). I talked to him about it and he said that is something we should experience for the 1st time together. I agreed. I didn’t go even though i really really wanted to. And today, I’m glad i didn’t. Your spouse comes 1st.
There’s nothing worse than the feeling of being purposely excluded. Especially when it’s family excluding you. If you don’t get to go, be sure to do something nice for yourself. Something that makes you happy.
My husband was offered a trip for just him by his son and daughter in law and he said not if my wife can’t go. Sounds like you are not well liked in my opinion. It’s my opinion of course. Unless it’s all guys then no it should not disturb you at all.