I know I probably do not have the right to even be upset about this. But I feel the need to at least vent about this. Thanks for reading if you do! My father was recently diagnosed with stage 1 cancer. The doctors said they caught it early and it had not spread, so it he will have surgery to remove it very soon. While this is very scary, and I have to admit I was pretty shocked at first, still am. I am annoyed that my sister took right to amazon to buy a hoodie in support of my father and got her nails done the same day with the cancer support ribbon. Just to run to facebook the next day and post the photos. I feel like she is doing it for attentionâŚlike some things donât need to be âshown offâ on facebook. My own father hasnât even posted about his own situaiton. Yet she is going to be dramatic about it and do all these dramatic things. IDK maybe I am in the wrong about how I am feeling⌠What do you think?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have the right to feel the way I do? - Mamas Uncut
You def have a right to any feelings you have but she also has a right to have her own feelings as well. This may be her way of coping is letting others know and getting sympathy or hearing heâll be ok. OR yes it could be for attention. I would ask your dad how he feels about it and discuss as a family how he wants to proceed about sharing HIS medical info on social media. Iâd be pissed if anyone posted about me having any illness without asking me if I want it shared first.
She is in the wrong and you are right, just let her be her and you be youâŚit that makes any sense.
Willing to bet she has a history of making everything about her. Such drama!
It could be her way of dealing, but if you do feel it is for attention I would just ignore it you have much more on your plate. <3 Prayers for your family
Different people deal with stuff in different ways. Both of yâallâs feelings and coping skills seem valid.
You have a right to feelings you have, but so does your sister. People cope differently. I lost my dad a little less than a year ago. He died a week before my birthday. I got a tattoo of him on my birthday and posted to FB. Some people thought that was for attention too, but it was my way of coping and of grieving and I never loved my siblings more for showing me so much grace during that time.
You have the right to feel the way you do. We donât know the history but my dad was diagnosed with stage4 cancer and only had weeks to live but I posted on social media when I shaved the side of my head for him and got dad written in it the day he died. People cope it there own way cancer is a serious thing
Let it go. For his sake let it go.
Yeah itâs all about her.
My mom hid her cancer from all her siblings but two. She didnât want everyone to feel sorry for her. My cousin messaged me trying to be nosy my mom said tell her I got a haircut. We respected her wishes.
Stay strong for your dad itâs rough watching your parent go through this battle prayers for him
Here are some clues: "
âI feel the needâŚâ
âI feel likeâŚâ
âmaybe I am in the wrong about how I am feelingâ.
Youâre emotional, too, and handling the shock of the news differently. No problem. Let her be her; you be you. Maybe you want to join your sister and get the same hoodie, and get your nails done the same way, so you can BOTH show your dad support.
If anyone has anything to say about it , it is your Dad. I would find out how he feels about his personal medical information being put on FB. If he is ok with it then leave her be. It may be that itâs for attention or it could be her way of coping with a scary situation. We all deal with stress in different ways and hers is apparently outwards. So as long as Dad isnât upset, you shouldnât be either.
She has a right to deal the way needs to. She canât âdoâ anything. Sheâs scared too. If this is how she deals with that, and nobody is being hurt, whatâs the problem?
Maybe her way of grieving about it. Maybe her way of showing support for him 
If she wants to be extra then let her be extra. It doesnt affect you.
Donât worry about what she doesâŚjust be you, do your thingâŚ
Howâs your dad feel about it? If he isnât upset about it, you shouldnât be either. Itâs about him right now, not how either of you are feeling.
Grief hits everyone differently. What you find weird other people find normal. You deal with it your way and let her deal with it her way. If your dad has something to say about it then let him deal with it.
Remember, to each their own.
Some people feel the need to post their lives on social media âŚ. Nobody really cares âŚ. And I donât think itâs her place to tell people about your dads cancer unless she asks him if he is ok with it
Hes the one who should take the lead on this information, her job is to support him how he needs to be supportedâŚ
She probably shouldâve asked him before going and posting about his health issues
SooooâŚwhen my mom was diagnosed, if my brother had done that I woulda been annoyed. I totally understand where youâre coming from, and your feelings are valid bc you feel them, therefore they are real and should be acknowledged and dealt with appropriately.
Everyone deals with this shit differentâŚmaybe she needs the serotonin boost from the attention to keep from sinking to under the floor. Try and focus on you and your Dad right now, as annoying as her actions maybe. Thereâs also a decent chance youâre like deflecting youâre negative feelings about your dadâs diagnosis onto your sister bc letâs be honest, thats just easier to deal withâŚya know?
AnywayâŚbest of luck to all of you. Stage one is a super early and usually easily treatable catch, so Iâll keep a set of fingers crossed for him 
Are you in any way jealous of her for some reason? Those are the type of vibes Iâm getting hereâŚ
Every one deals with grief trauma bad news in there own way maybe by posting about it sheâs getting the support that she needs hope your dads op goes well
People cope in different ways.
I personally would be extremely upset if a family member was posting my medical issues on a public forum. I sense some sympathy or attention seeking motivation in her actions. Itâs not what sheâs doing that is as bothersome as her posting it publicly.
It all depends on who is there is for them through it all. Thatâs it
Perhaps this is your sisterâs way of supporting your dad
And to show her support for other cancer victims and their families
You are entitled to your feelings as much as your sister is
This is the time to pull together as a family to support your dad
As he is now fighting the ultimate fight
You have the right to feel however you want BUT stay out of it.
I donât see an issue.
I feel as tho some people in these comments have forgotten, that they really are people out here who have to make every situation about them⌠
Letâs not forgot that the person going through this difficult time also needs time to cope and clearly isnât ready to tell the worldâŚ
Everyone handles stress differently. Some people want to be âchangeâ. I donât get the vibe sheâs doing it to be nasty or a âvictim,â rather, sheâs not sure how else to support your dad, other than by making a statement. Kinda like peaceful protests. Not really getting much done, but youâre being active for the cause.
Does that make sense?
If that doesnât set well with you (I donât know your sister), ask her.
Donât make the mistake of thinking you can take over your fathers life and speak for him. Ask him how he feels about her doing it before you start any family drama over it
You always have a right to your own feelings. And so does she. Is she in the wrong? Maybe, but let her deal with herself and you deal with yourself, otherwise itâs just going to drive you crazy. If sheâs doing it for the wrong reasons, people will figure that out.
Oh yeah. I see that!!! You have every right to feel how you feel. I would talk to your dad see how he feels about it. Especially if hes a very private man. Id definitely have a talk with her. Ive been where you are. Its not easy. My Father in law passed from cancer and a family friend was posting about it before we had even got all the family contacted. You just donât post about that stuff until the family has time to process. They post first then you can. The dad or wife should have been the one to let who they want to know⌠know.
Iâm going to say only she knows her intentions. Perhaps she meant well
Yes you do have the right to feel this away. Your sister should stay quiet about it until your dad is ready for people to know. And yes a lot of people does crap like that just so they can get attention.
Prayers for your Dad!!! 
Some people feel the need to publish everything they know about to deal with trauma and if thatâs what she feels she needs to do then thatâs her thing. Just like your father keeps it to himself your sister feels the opposite
You have the RIGHT to your feelings. However, feelings are not right or wrong, theyâre just feelings and theyâre yours.
Absolutely attention seeking but maybe thatâs her way to cope
Sorry for your dad
I think your sister is in mature ignore her
I feel like everyone handles news like that different. So maybe thatâs how she copes
Sorry to hear bout your father. Sending lots of prayers for him & your family! I pray all of his cancer is gone soon!! God bless and stay strong. 
You have the right to your feelings. She has the right to her feelings. You both have the right to feel what feelings you have differently. You canât control what your sister does or how she does it. Thatâs not up to you.
I am glad your dadâs cancer was caught early and will be taken care of quickly.
She should have asked ur father first if it was ok to post.
If your dad specifically asked the family to keep this info under wraps until he was ready to make it known, then it was insensitive of her; his wishes about his own medical condition should be respected. Your post indicates that you dad has a social media account. I feel like the initial announcement should have come from him. Then she could have shown her support publicly. In closing, my heart goes out to your dad and your family, and I pray for the best possible outcome.
Prayers for your dad. Suppose that is how she deals with things by sharing etc. It may not be to your liking but no use trying to understand her. Best to use your energy and time supporting your dad. Good luck and God bless.
Everyone handles situations differently. Buy U a hoodie too, get ya nails done. Sheâs just supporting ya dad the best way she nows how. U may do it differently and thatâs okay. Main thing is to support ya dad in his time of need. Her posting on social media shouldnât be an issue either thatâs one way she can stay up lifted during this time. FB is a sounding board for all our moments in life. Happy, sad, good, or bad. Friends help us get through all our situations by lifting us up. Itâs not different then U posting it here to a bunch of strangers honestly.
Lean on each other while helping your dad beat Cancers ass thatâs what should be going on.
U need to lighting up a little.
Prayers for the family during this trying time.
Maybe its just her way to express how scared she is inside.everyone deals in different ways dont judge her just be there when she needs you to help her get through.xx
honestly, why does it matter what she does? everyone deals with things differently. weather itâs for attention or not, leave her to it because sheâs entitled to express how she feels in whatever way she wants.
I see it as the pot calling the kettle black. Although your anonymous you ran to Facebook also airing the same news that your upset with her about. Everyone copes differently⌠yours is to vent in a open group and hers is to show support for her father to her friends. Brush it off the last thing your father needs right now is for his grown kids to be upset with each other over a Facebook post. Itâs ridiculous!
Iâll be praying hard for your family!
I can understand how you feel, do you think maybe she is having a hard time processing it on her end?? She may really need someone to check in on her. I know with my cancer battle I tried to keep it quiet but my kid and all his friends stepped up and check on me and in with me and it made it easier on me I didnât have to go through it alone
You have the right to your feelings and so does your sister. Just because she processes it differently than you doesnât mean she is wrong. If she is being supportive of how youâre handling it, why arenât you supporting her also?
Prayers. Everyone deals with things differently. Coping mechanisms that work for one donât work for another. There is absolutely no sense in a making a deal of it. Your Dad needs you both and doesnât need you all arguing while he is going thru this.
Ya a little too fast !! Not to down play it by any means but ya cringey 
Donât let her actions upset you. You each are handling this situation in your own way. She shouldnât be spreading your fatherâs business around though. If be really upset if my adult child told people my medical issues. Itâs nobodyâs business except mine. Only I decide whoâs to know.
Sheâs being rude and inconsiderate. Simple as that. It does seem like attention seeking behavior imo.
One needs to stop and think- and ask permission to share medical information with others- especially on social media - and especially if itâs not their health status they are sharing. Hopefully she meant well- itâs now a conversation between her and your father.
Sounds to me like you or more concerned with judging and condemning her than you are about your fathers situation. I find it best never to question how someone deals with their own personal grief
Everyone has rights to their own feelings and e eryone handles things differently but I would of got permission from my father first to air his private life on social media x
Well youâre also posting on social media, just being anonymous about it. Maybe shes just supporting your dad and is proud of it. How about you just try focusing on your father instead of getting angry that your sister bought a sweater and got a manicure.
I would be annoyed. This is something my sister would do. My dad has Alzheimerâs and she loves to get attention by posting to fb when she didnât visit him for 3 years and she lives in the same town.
It doesnât matter if âeveryone deals with things differentlyâ, the lead on any response made publicly about anotherâs medical condition should be taken by the person diagnosed and if she didnât get permission from your father first, she is beyond wrongđŹ
Everyone handles things differently.
Sheâs not nice. My Sisterâs only visited my Parents in Florida to attend there funerals. The Sisterâs live on Long Island. Well one Sister did visit. I lived in Florida near my Parents. When they retired there, I followed with my husband and two kids. I wonât talk to my siblings just the one. My Brother lived in Florida. He was the best. the Brother bin California never visit them. I canât stand him. He is very opinionated. He used to be a cop. So much for siblings.
Nope Youâre right to feel about that I was in the same situation and made me upset I feel like itâs just for them just to get attention and sympathy for them and for the person that is sick
Everyone deals with life changing news differently. Give it a break. Your dad needs support not bickering
You have bigger problems than what your sister does. Do all you can to help your father. Pay your sister noind.
She has every right to do what works for her. It isnât your business.
Sounds like a narcissist
I would not care about sister reaction. I would care more about how your dad is feeling. Just support him.
I feel you on every level. My sister in law died from esophagus cancer. At the end we new she was not going to make it. I specifically had asked my brother to tell me first before I found out on Facebook when she passed. He was busy making phone calls, first her family, then his kids etc. He was about to call me when I already seen it on FB. I was mortifiedâŚand on my way to Auntâs funeral who had also just passed of cancer. I think you are correct- it is attention seeking. She jumped the gun. She should have waited to see this was all going to go down. Then let people know After discussing with Dad. She could still get nails done or a Tshirt or whatever in honor of a loved one with cancer. But keep generic for the moment.
Stop trying to run your sisters life. MYOB.
Everyone reacts and deals with things differently. You donât have to agree with it, but you should respect it.
Selfish the both of you.
She sounds like a stupid selfish typical loser, to be honest I hope your dad tells her off and puts her in her place. As for you, you have every right to be upset/disappointed with pathetic attempts for attention. I know itâs hard but donât let her stupidity get to you. Karma will visit her one day and hopefully she will learn a lesson on her desperate need for attention, until then stay young and enjoy the show. I marvel at my siblings selfish stupidity, but yet Iâm there to help them pickup the pieces and help mend thier mistakes. People have to learn from their mistakes to realize they are in the wrong. Just dont hold a grudge that will only make you old.
You have to remember. We all take that news different. Now my first thought wouldnât be to go run and do all of that but thatâs words no one wants to hear about someone we love. Sending love and prayers to you and your familyâ:pray:
I think youâre nervous and angry and afraid and having a lot of big feelings right now and you know you canât be mad at your dad for it because itâs certainly not his fault so youâre being mad at your sister because you need someone to be mad at right now. I think if you take up a really physical sport, boxing or karate or just sit in your car and scream blood murder until you feel better, itâll really help you get out some of that anger and fear youâre having right now. And I think once youâre more levelheaded, itâll help put the important things in perspective for you. Wishing you all the bestâ¤ď¸
It wasnât her news to spread. Attention seeking at its finest.
You can be annoyed. She is likely seeking attention. But itâs one of those âstay in your laneâ situations
Itâs also whatâs his comfort level when my mom was battling cancer she asked me not to post anything. I didnât since it was her medical information until after the fact.
No one should judge how someone else deals with news like this. Maybe she is doing it for attentionâŚmaybe it is just how she is wrapping her mind around what has happened. You have the right to your feelingsâŚbut so does she.
If your father has an issue with what she did, he should bring it up to her. But you should do what you feel is right to support him and let her do what she feels is right.
The focus needs to be on your father. Itâs what he wants and feels. This is deeply personal and maybe he doesnât want the world knowing. Both of you need to respect his wish on discretion or maybe he doesnât mind. Ask him how he feels. I know from personal experience my family member that was suffering from cancer didnât want the world to know and we respected that.
What does your dad say about her spreading his business should be the question. She can deal how she wants but she should have asked her dad first before telling everyone. If itâs stage 1 prostrate cancer if its caught early usually the operation takes care of that.
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Cancer is scary so is the way she deals with something difficult if so leave her alone
I feel it was your dads place to spread if he wanted it spread,and that yes your sister is just seeking attention,and no you are not wrong for feeling the way you feel,but also agree with others,just leave her be,people will realize who she is ,what type of person she is ,and she wont get all that attention she is seeking in the end, just do you and be there for your dad,im like you,i dont like to be center of attention,some people feel the need to be center of attention and mabe thats what your sister wants,is to be center of attention
My nephew was diagnosed with congenital hyperinsulinism in 2015, itâs a rare condition where his pancreas doesnât stop producing insulin. Itâs not necessarily fatal but it is life altering for everyone. I immediately went and made him a Facebook page and started putting together a benefit for him and my brother and sister in law. It was my way of coping and helping out. Iâm not a doctor even thought I researched and found this genetic condition before his doctors did. So my therapy was helping bring awareness and raise money. They were in for a long ride, and my outlet was talking about it, which helped me.
Youâre not. Sheâs absolutely doing it for attention. If she was concerned, she would be focused on him and his treatment. My mom is like this⌠if you tell her something, you have to specify not to post it to social media and not to tell anyone, including significant other, siblings, grandparents etc. Like you have to list out specific people she canât tell. Especially if itâs something that I want to announce or tell other people. When I found out that I was pregnant, at 18, with my twins, out of respect, we called my parents and then his parents. By the time we got off the phone with his parents, my mom had told everyone and I didnât actually get to announce anything. With people like that though, you just have to let it go. Focus on your father and his treatment plan. I hope everything goes well for him and your family. Luckily they caught it early and it hasnât spread. Just make sure you stay on him for follow ups and preventive screenings moving forward! In the mean time, donât let your sister affect you!
I wouldnât worry about what she does. Itâs annoying, but it isnât hurting anyone. The only personâs opinion on it that matters is your dadâs.
You never know what can happen with this cancer. It can go away forever, it can come back, it can suddenly growâŚeither way, itâs life altering for everyone. Especially your dad and his immediate family. My dad was recently diagnosed with cancer and it has gotten worse. I would never tell my sisters that they canât support my Dad, or think they are being selfish. We all have our own way of dealing with things.
How blessed his cancer was caught in the earliest stage. Everyone processes/grieves differently and just because you do it different doesnât make hers wrong. Cancer doesnât discriminate and affects everyone involved. If thatâs her way of showing support for you dad and wants validation from others than thatâs her way of dealing with it. We are a technology driven society without much filter for our personal lives (and itâs driven my âlikes,â unfortunately). A lot of the time thatâs how good and bad news is spread rapidly without having to make 50+ phone calls.
You canât expect âYOUâ from others and thatâs okay.
Itâs not her story to tell the world. Itâs his. She shouldâve let him tell people first. Itâs disrespectful to your dad.
Not her place if he isnât talking about it publicly, and also pretty sad bc getting a manicure doesnât do anything to support cancer research or patients going through it. Seems like a sad cry for attention.
Some people just love to suck in the pitty party
I get that she is coping in her own way but should have kept it private until your father was ready to share. Itâs happening to him, itâs his choice of who he wants to share it with.