Do I have the right to feel the way I do?

It could be a coping strategy for feeling helpless in this situation. Find one for you

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im w u. being supportive is great but insisting on showing it off; grow up and actually be there for him

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Itā€™s her way of coping ! While I agree with others your father has a say in this , you donā€™t !!!

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So you angry with her posting stuff yet here you are telling the whole world !!! Did your dad give you permission to post ? Does he know you posted this !? No matter if he has or not first you did it too !!

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I think thatā€™s tacky as fuck. The cancer is your fatherā€™s experience not hers. He may want to keep it quiet and not tell the whole freaking world. Sounds like sheā€™s looking for sympathy from others.

Praying for your dad :pray::pray::pray:

guess neither should have posted with out his say so.

No your not. Itā€™s up to your Dad whether or not he wants his shit posted on here

Everyone copes with bad news differently and itā€™s not your business to judge.

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Sheā€™s thirsty. Offer her a glass of water.

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It was not right for her to post a cancer diagnosis of your Father. Cancer patients are the only ones that have a right to announce such a personal and private matter. Not sure of your sisters motive, but Iā€™m sure your Dad was not happy about it. I would be livid if someone did it to me. It takes common sense not to do something like that. Shame on her

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Thatā€™d probably annoy me too. Only because he hadnā€™t said anything yet.

My personal feeling:
Cancer is not a fashion accessory, nor is it click bait for likes. Tacky. Tasteless.

Much love to you and your family. :heart:

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Sheā€™s an attention hoe. Iā€™m sorry about your dad. Luckily it was caught quickly and will be easier to fight. Ignore your family petty BS and focus on the situation at hand.

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Yes you have a right to be upset but try to channel your energy to your dad who will benefit from positive vibes and no family drama :heart:

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Praying for dad.:pray:t2: when I was diagnosed it took me a little while to let it sink in , I would have been really upset if my daughters DISPLAYING my personal info like a billboard

People handle emotions differently. Dad should have approved either way.
I dont think itā€™d be right to criticize or fight with her for that. Dad needs you two as a united front to be there for him.

Adding your Dad to my prayers :heart:

I think you have your way of dealing and she has hers. She is showing full.on support and should post to start raising awareness. Itā€™s coming from a caring, supportive angle. I wouldnā€™t be upset at all, why not join in on doing stuff like this as well, cancer can turn from nothing to something very quickly. Let her be.

Social media has brought out an ear to listen as well as the platform to perform. :pensive: sad really.

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But your doing the same just in a Facebook group :tipping_hand_woman:t3: just complaining about your sister instead so in reality youā€™re making a bigger deal than it needs to be

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It is not her story to tell. I have a friend like that. Everything she posts is for the Drama and all the posts she receives. I find it tiresome.

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She has a right to deal with it her own way as do you. Here you are telling the whole world the same as she did. She needed/needs support the same as you.

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She needs attention. Thatā€™s prob how she deals with things. Itā€™s not her fight but she will want the sympathy from it. Ignore her. Everyone deals differently. Just do u and ur dad. God bless him.

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People grieve and process things differently. She probably feels helpless in the situation and while it may feel attention seeking to you, it may feel comforting to her.

Ignore it. She may feel powerless & upset & thatā€™s the only way she knows to show her support right now.

Cancer affects family in many horrible ways. Donā€™t let it destroy yours already. Just ask her to tone it down a bit online. Other than that let it go.

Prayers for your family & a great recovery for your dad :two_hearts:

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My dad is at stage 3 prostate ur dad is lucky

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Donā€™t ever feel bad for feeling. You have the right to feel however you want to feel.
What you do not have the right to do is miss treat others because you ā€œfeelā€ a certain way. She has her own way of dealing with it. Just like your father. Thatā€™s their choice.

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Iā€™ve had relatives post a death about one and not everyone knew yet talk about inconsiderate!

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Yeah seems she just wants attention. See that alot. Id be annoyed too

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You should check her. That wasnā€™t her business to tell.:woman_shrugging:t3:

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I hope she had the best of intentions??? People deal with stress in different ways. Tacky? Yes. But I hope you arenā€™t harsh with her.

People process cancer diagnoses or any bad news differently. But I think your sister should have had your dadā€™s blessings to post. When you are told you have cancer it can take a while for it to set in and for you yourself to accept it. I was diagnosed with stage 1 lung cancer. Surgery was done to remove half a lung. No chemo. No radiation. Be thankful your dadā€™s cancer was found early.

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It is honestly up to the one that is going through it to announce it or at least set the expiration of being on social media or not. In my 20ā€™s everything went on FB. Now closer to my 40ā€™s. Iā€™m so private lolā€¦

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I agree about not putting it out on Facebook

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100% agree with you. I understand itā€™s her dad but not her journey to share.

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First and foremost you ALWAYS have the right to feel how you feel. No one gets to dictate that.
Your sister should of cleared it with your father before posting, it is his story to share, no one elseā€™s in my opinion. I do know everyone handles trauma/difficult situations/etc differently. We all process different. This may be her coping skill, it may not be your therefore you cannot relate.
I am glad they found your fathers dancer early. :two_hearts:

Your feelings are valid. It was not her place to announce to the world about someone elseā€™s health condition. It was attention seeking behavior.

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I have learned through my own grief losing my grandmother who raised me to stage 4 lung cancer and my older brother to suicide, every person in your family grieves differently. It is no oneā€™s right to tell another person how to deal with something. While it may seem tacky to some, maybe she is trying to be supportive in a way she knows how. We often feel very helpless in these situation, as in what can we do? We canā€™t cure cancer or stop whatā€™s been done. But we can be there. I think she should have talked with your father about it first, but unless he is saying something about it, it also isnā€™t your situation to control so Iā€™d leave it be.

Iā€™m so glad your fatherā€™s cancer was found early. Thatā€™s a huge blessing and Iā€™d focus on that rather than the negative side of things.

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There are no ā€œwrongā€ feelings ; Itā€™s human to feel annoyed, jealous, resentful, etc., itā€™s what you do ( or donā€™t do ) about those feelings that matters. I agree with Nonaā€¦ do your best to pay no attention to what your sister does, and try to keep your focus on you & dad.
Namaste.

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Let me stay by saying your feelings are valid. And feelings are always valid, even if they donā€™t seem to make sense. They may not make sense to anybody else. But thatā€™s irrelevant. You have every right to feel the way you do. It seems maybe that youā€™re angry, or upset, that said sister is seemingly making this about her. And NOT your father. That certainly is not her place. Nor is it right. Imo, you have every right to be angry

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Not every thing in your, her, or dadā€™s life needs facebook attention. Respect dad and ask before you post. It is his life.

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I think her processing it how she needs to is totally okay as far as getting the sweatshirt and doing her nails in supportā€¦ but she does need to be called out about the fact that sheā€™s sharing it before he even did it thatā€™s not information you put online unless itā€™s your information to tell

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As a cancer survivor everyone processes this differently so donā€™t be too hard on her

I think everyone deals with things on their own way. But I can see how you would be annoyed. Especially if your dad is a private person.

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I agree with you completely.Some things fb does not need to know about and the type of people that run to fb with everything are indeed looking for attention.its the worst

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l get paid over $126 per hour working from home. l never thought Iā€™d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $16555 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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As someone who would feel the exact same way you do, I get it. But in these moments I have to take a step back and truly have a pep talk with myself because while I dont understand the need for attention, some people cope this way. Your feelings are 100% valid. It is frustrating. I hate attention seeking behavior. But maybe this is your sisters way of coping. Some people need validation from many others- hence the facebook posts. I think its boiling down to insecurity or a need for affirmation. Just know your feelings are valid but try not to be too hard on her either. Sending hugs.

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l get paid over $111 per hour working from home. l never thought Iā€™d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $10841 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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I think she should see what his feeling are !

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You donā€™t have to do anything. People who know her will consider where this is coming from. You might mention to her nicely that your father should be the first one to post something if he wants to. Itā€™s like you should never post pics of a newborn until the mother or father posts something first. Itā€™s a matter of respect. Some people innocently donā€™t even think of that.

Sheā€™s allowed to express her feelings about it any way she wants. Announcing it on social media without dadā€™s permission would be kinda crappy but itā€™s happening to her too. Not just you.

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Your sister somehow or another jumped the gun and started announcing it to the world and to everyone she may or may not know. Should have held back awhile (your dad should be the one who determines what awhile means) until your dad was able to process it all. The cancer is about him, as he has it, and it is definitely not about your sister.

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My sister is always ā€œextraā€ like this. Then when I confront her and ask her why she does what she does to get attention, she throws it back on me and gets defensive. Sheā€™s asks me why I am acting the way I do and am always a private person. Meaning, I donā€™t go broadcasting my life all over social media. There are things that donā€™t need to be put out on blast. My sister and the op sister is the opposite and seems as if they need to tell the world or else itā€™s not real and want the attention/likes. I chalked it up to her being a self centered narcissist and I cut her out of my life years ago. The op may need to do the same.

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Super narcissistic to want clout over someone elseā€™s suffering. And not to mention that their suffering is something they havenā€™t even shared yetā€¦

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I think there would have been nothing wrong with it had your dad posted about it on Facebook publicly. As he didnā€™t, itā€™s pretty crappy of her to do. It wasnā€™t her news to tell. I would be highly upset too!

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That would irritate me too. Iā€™m sorry. Just look the other way and be there for your dad :heart:

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No sweetie- your feelings are right.

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I agree pretty tacky, but right now your dad really needs your support if she wants to be all into herself let her do it by herself. Right now your dad comes 1st!

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l get paid over $110 per hour working from home. l never thought Iā€™d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $14685 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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I wouldnā€™t do it without his permission. But some people feel like their Facebook friends are her friends and that she is sharing this with her friends. I think this might be her sisterā€™s way of coping and she doesnā€™t understand that many people would consider this private. Actually, one would hope this is okay with her dad. If he is, then fine. I would want to give permission before someone posted something like this about me.

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It is his story to tell not hers.

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Let it go. Itā€™s not worth stressing over. Focus on your father.

I think you are correct but there is one in every family.

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Some people want attention and run to FB for it. I was disgusted once someone I know posted her dad taking his last breath. Another one posted condolences and the person who just died family didnā€™t know. Some things are private.

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You didnā€™t even get the chance to absorb the info ā€¦and she is posting personal info of a very private nature ā€¦ without even asking or taking into considerationā€¦drama for sure , inconsiderateā€¦hell yeah ā€¦too late now tho ā€¦the real important thing is if it upset your dad ā€¦cause this is journey ā€¦what seems like showmanship to others may be a coping mechanism for some ā€¦ because you both process completely differently ā€¦I doubt she realizes that this was inappropriate for the momentā€¦when in a calmer place ,maybe discuss with her how you both feel ā€¦maybe you two can help eachother process this together ā€¦then you both will be an excellent support team for your dad ā€¦cause at the end of the dad ā€¦it is about him ā€¦ sending love and light ā€¦:gift_heart::candle::sun_with_face::pray:

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She is doing way too much and it doesnā€™t sound like any of it is with your father in mind.

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Everyone has thier own way of processing pain, donā€™t misplace ur anger towards one another

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Everyone deals with pain differently. You do you and let others do them, donā€™t judge someone on how they process news or information.

Maybe sheā€™s just trying to support him in her own way but going the wrong way about it?

Itā€™s extremely in poor taste to post about someoneā€™s health before they have. Ignore her concentrate on your dad and what he wants. His needs and feelings are your primary concern. The drama queen will swoon in and out of the picture.

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Some people love the drama. She did all that for herself, not for your dad.

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Family issues should be private period

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Completely agree. Cannot stand when people do things like this.

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Yours is a difference in personality styles with your sister. You prefer to be understated and private, she feels the need to express her feelings more blatantly. Itā€™s not fair, or possibly accurate, to assume sheā€™s doing it ā€œfor attentionā€. Your own response might be considered by some people to be ā€œuncaringā€. During this journey of your fatherā€™s illness, people will deal with their emotions differently. Give
Them the benefit of the doubt.

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Just be there and support him. Thank God they found it soon enough. Pray for his recovery. Let your sister do her. Your only going to get angry and you will need your strength to be with your father.

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I typically believe that everyone is entitled to their feelings so that is never ā€œwrongā€ however that includes your sister. Maybe just talk to her. ā€œHey I see where youā€™re coming from but the publicity of it all makes me a little uncomfortable. Would you mind toning it down at least on social media?ā€

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To post something that personal is much. She should have asked your Dad if he was ok with the world knowing

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Honestly it would piss me off too. I canā€™t stand people that use otherā€™s hardships/illnesses to get attention. Butā€¦you canā€™t be sure thatā€™s what sheā€™s doing. And if it doesnā€™t bother your dad? :woman_shrugging:

Maybe talking with your sister about the personal information that includes your family to try to be a little more private about it!?! Also remind her that itā€™s not about you or her itā€™s about your dad. My prayers are with your dad and the family :pray::two_hearts:

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You do the right thing and be there for your dad and donā€™t worry about what she does. When parents get sick, a lot of childhood issues come back up and most siblings fight. Iā€™m sure that is how sheā€™s always been. My sister and I had a huge blowout when my father had a heart attack. It took a year for things to be better between us. I can imagine if he had died, weā€™d probably still not be speaking. Learn to accept her for who she is and the things she does however inappropriate. In the end, my father felt he was in the middle. Donā€™t bring it up to your father. Support him with actions and kind words. Unfortunately itā€™s easier on the family to tolerate than to say something as saying anything will cause her to be defensive.

Different people grieve differently than you :woman_shrugging:

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Sounds like itā€™s all about her and the attention she gets from it. Iā€™m sorry to hear about your father and I hope for a positive and favorable outcome. This should not be about her and she shouldnā€™t be posting anything unless your father wants it out there then thatā€™s up to him, not her.

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Iā€™d be annoyed, but only because it isnā€™t her place to post about your fatherā€™s health on social media before your dad even tells anyone (if he even wants to).

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I agree with Michell. Just donā€™t take away from your father, give him the love and care he needs.

Yā€™all should have a family talk

My sister wouldve done the same thing and mine does it for the attention. Shes outed personal things for others in our family several times taking the spotlight per say, but shes not ever actually involved, helping or calling.
if your dad hasnt posted anything she shouldve waited.

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Whatever. Donā€™t make stress for your Dad!!

Sounds like you are trying to get one up on her to me!!!

You are not wrongā€¦ But, you cannot control other people.

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Id probably feel the same way as you

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Strange way to act. We all cried and hugged. Maybe it was because we had two members of our family with cancer at the same time.

Your sister needs to be ā€œchained to the floorā€ until your father decides HE wants to tell people. Then let HIM tell it.

Is this not a mom group. Sorry about your dad but thatā€™s not what this page is for.