Do I have to accept my boyfriends baby?

Happens all the time just love the baby the baby can’t help it

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if you have to ask this, the child doesn’t deserve you.

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If you want to be with this man then you have to accept his child. The child is innocent and deserves all the love it can get. It’s not hard to explain these things to young kids, you are the one making it hard and shame on you for that.

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If u accept the man u need to accept the child as well the child is innocent as well as ur child together ur child deserves to grow up with their sibling regardless of ur feelings is all about the child not the adults neither child has any part in adult problems so leave it that way and treat that baby ike u treat ur own don’t let that baby grow up feeling like he or she is unwanted so imagine how u would feel being unwanted

You stayed with him. The siblings are step children.If you can’t accept the situation. Move on.

If you accepted him back, then yes, you need to accept his baby as well.

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You’re still mad and hurt that he got someone pregnant. Now you’re taking it out on the innocent baby.

Try telling him that you’re still hurt, be honest and let him know. Otherwise you will resent the baby and not treat the baby equally.
If you’re a praying woman. Pray about how you feel and try each day to forgive when you feel angry or upset.

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We have a blended family. My bio kids, my stepson and our together baby are all siblings. They’re all my family. We don’t need labels or singling out who “belongs” to who. If you aren’t ready to move past that phase with your bf, take a step back in your relationship but don’t try to separate the innocent kid and keep the man who did wrong. Do your best to love and accept that baby, help out, have a relationship with them and make them part of your family or leave your man.

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In all reality, u can feel whatever which way u wanna feel about the situation, but the fact still stands he is ur baby’s family, whether u like it or not, so I suggest u start to get over ur feelings & try to at least make the situation better, for the sake of ur relationship, no one likes to be around salty people & if it bothers u that much then maybe u shouldn’t have gotten back together, u knew the baby would eventually be here. So either way grow up or not. Good luck to you

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Either get over your feelings and accept it or move on… and you don’t have to explain how this happens to your toddler… you got some years to figure out that convo

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and how many men did you go out with? accepting his baby is up to the baby’s mother.

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Then treat the baby good and get over yourself if you want a relationship with him.

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This question is concerning. Ask yourself this: Did you accept my bf back? Am I a decent person?

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You can accept or leave! It’s not the babies fault. Treat the baby as your own, the more to love he/she. He didn’t cheat on you. Talk to him about how your hurt by his actions, clear the air. Your child deserves to know his siblings it’s only fair.

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You’re being ridiculous. You need to accept that baby if you accept the man. The baby has absolutely no fault and IS a sibling to your child so you need to accept that.

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That’s not only considered your boyfriends baby but it’s considered your baby’s sibling. I would love that kid as my own. You’re the one that took him back.

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Well I wouldn’t want you any child’s Stepmother because judging of this you wouldn’t treaty child right and I would f you up.

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You guys made the choice to separate for a week and he did that !!! Ask yourself do you accept him back ??? And if you did you accept everything he did !

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If u can’t accept his baby, then u need to just leave. U were broke up! Him and the baby deserve someone that will LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY :heart::heart::heart::heart:

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Omg yes. You accept the baby and love it as your own if you guys are together….honestly even if you’re not together …you still treat the kids as your own.

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Great now he’s gotta see her all the time. Good luck with this situation :broken_heart: reason why people should wait to get married to have children. The kids suffer

All children are a gift from God ! It was not the child’s fault for decisions of their parents

If you accepted him back and knew about the pregnancy from the beginning then you need to accept the baby of course your hurt a baby got made outta of a wk break up but that baby didn’t ask to be here so either you gonna have to accept or move on hard decisions but that’s something you have to make for yourself if your ready to go down that road all the way sounds as you might have a lil resentment and before a baby is brought around that negativity need to clear somethings up either be together and accept the baby or you move on and start a diff life good luck

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Accept and move on a child is a child doesn’t have to be yours to love he or she. Also nothing needs to be explained to a toddler they are much too young to need to understand this. There is something good that comes out of bad embrace and have faith it will work out I’m sure the baby’s mother is having a hard time sending her baby over not knowing if the child will be well cared for and your both Mothers so get over yourself and move on

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Leave. Plain and simple. That child don’t ask to be here. Ask yourself how you’d feel if it was him asking this question had you gotten pregnant during the breakup.
I fear for that child if it has to come into your home if this is your attitude already.

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A family friend of ours kinda went thru the same thing… he chose his family over the baby had outside of marriage an I don’t blame him for choosing them.

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I get you, 6 months after my X husband and I became engaged, I received a call from his x girl from highscool sharing that they had twin girls at the age of 7.
What an interesting conversation we had after he got home from work.
I welcomed the girls with open arms but I just can’t trust him any more and the marriage only lasted for about 4 years. You need to do what is right for you now and attempt peace and harmony in your world again if you can. Personally I couldn’t do it as I develop a medical condition and was feeling a bit…what about me?

Well you have 2 choices:

  1. You accepted him back so you accept the child.
  2. You need to leave if you can’t accept the child.
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If you love your man, you will love his kids … with you or any other mom. You don’t have to explain anything to your toddler, other than this is his baby sister/brother. When your toddler is older, you can go into more detail, but for now, keep it simple.

I understand you are hurt, but the way you handle it is the same as if he came into the relationship with a child from another relationship. Because that’s what it is. You broke up, you were apart, and now you’re back together. You’re either all in, or all out. Decide now before this baby is born. If you’re all in, then you put the hurt behind you & move forward.

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I was in that same spot 9 years ago…
I accepted her and she comes to our house once a month, every spring break, odd and even years for thanksgiving and Christmas, and for the whole summer. My kids don’t really understand but they do know she has another mother.
It is not the kids fault you always have to remember that. It’s hard yes, but do you want to live without or with the guy that’s the choice you need to make.

Do you know you’re a selfish woman if you have other feelings or jealousy talk to your manI am sure he won’t have the same problem with his child from a different mom
Take the child and love that baby like your own he/or she wouldn’t have to be told otherwise and your child you tell him / she you’re going to have a baby and the other mom to hit the road and hit her with child support good luck

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Can I please say if you won’t love hes baby then you need to leave ,

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Wow
They are a package deal
Regardless of how this come about

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If you have forgiven him, do your best to accept the baby. Otherwise, you aren’t over it and shouldn’t be together.

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He’s a toddler. He doesnt understand shit. Simply tell him that he has a sibling. And yes, you have to accept the child IF you want to stay with him. If you cant, which is also ok, break up now.

Uh sounds like this is the type of woman whom would also treat the child with utter disdain in the future much like the story of Cinderella should anything happen to the child’s mother. Run buddy, she’s not capable of actually loving a child not her own. Not only that she’s holding something against you from when you weren’t even together to begin with. How sad, every child deserves unconditional love and support regardless of parentage.

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This baby is a sibling of your baby and needs to know never keep family from family it hurts alot later in life and your child will find out

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Honestly, it truly isn’t the babies fault. You have every right to be hurt, but don’t question that baby for one second. Love that baby with everything you have, and talk to your man about how much it hurts that he is having a baby with another woman.

As a mom why are you taking your anger and hurt out on the baby? You should know better. You are obviously not ok with this and have issues with him. But you DONT TAKE YOUR ANGER OUT ON CHILDREN. they didn’t ask to be born that way.

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Things happen. But a week is a very small timeframe to narrow conception down to accurately…! I guess you either have to accept it fully, or let them go. Your toddler will still have a relationship with Dad. Baby and Baby mama too though :woman_shrugging:t3: and you won’t.

I totally understand why you are hurting and I think even if someone has accepted it, the pain will still be there especially around the time of birth and all the unknowns. Maybe it will just all be okay.

Is it ridiculous he had to jump in bed with someone else that fast and your break wasn’t long? Yes. Should he used protection? Yes. Did he? No. But you took him back? Yes. So either accept the baby who didn’t ask to be here with open arms and unconditional love or step away from the relationship. It’s pretty simple.

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If you are going to stay with this man then yes you do need to accept his child. Children come as a package with their parents.

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Umm :thinking: Why are you even questioning this. Women like you make me so angry. My ex boyfriend was once with a woman like you. She was jealous and non accepting of our son. She said she didn’t want to be apart of the babies life. Eventually he broke up with her(thank God). I suggest though that you reevaluate your relationship with your boyfriend. How important is it to have your family together? Do you love the man? Have you truly forgiven him?

This poor innocent baby didn’t ask to be put into this situation. He/she is your child’s sibling. You need to show your child you can be a grown up and “do it for the kids”

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Remember the kid has nothing to do with what your s/o did. If you have any anger or resentment just make sure it goes where it’s deserved. Coming from a home where I split with the dads at 1 1/2 for both kids they don’t care they have dif parents as long as they are treated the same. But then again both dad’s still do things with both kids in my situation so they get some sort of love from all 3 households even the dads that isn’t theirs. But honestly kids really could care less about it unless they begin to question why ones treated different than the other so just try not to do that. If it’s hard thinking of the baby as your own start off small and think of the baby as a niece or nephew at the beginning til a bond grows. He’s going to need the help and you deciding to stay after he did that is kinda you saying your going to be there. If that’s not your intent you need to tell him so he can leave so the child’s not being treated differently

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Grow up. And YES you do whether you stay together or not. That’s your child’s sibling. Where tf do you guys come from? :woozy_face:

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My husband and I broke up for a couple months back when we were dating. Fast forward three / four years later. We are married with two kids and we find out he has a three year old daughter. Your feelings are validated and important but I remember thinking we will get used to it. It’s just new and it stings right now . Over a year later and she is 100% part of our family and I am a step mommy to a beautiful girl and with 3 of our own kids , we have a houseful. No her mom isn’t compliant, no she does not want to co parent, yes we have been to court multiple times. But the love we have for our kids will never change. Xoxo good luck to you and trust your gut. You got this mama!!

The patience some women have for men like this is astounding. Within a week of your break up he was already rawdogging another woman? And you got back together with him like that wasn’t a massive red flag? Should’ve stayed broken up for your own sanity

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You need counciling to help you work through this so that the resentment doesn’t rub off on the child… Kids know when they’re not being 100% accepted.

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Are you sure he’s the daddy? Because it seems fishy to me that he broke up with you n fathered a child during that week. Also I personally would not want him as a boyfriend who jumps into bed with someone else so quickly! I’d be questioning him as to whether he had seen her before… I mean let’s see… he broke up with you on a Friday, slept with another woman Saturday or Sunday and back in your bed by the next Friday? Nope… something doesn’t make sense… why would he jump straight to parenthood with out a DNA test? You two have way more issues than whether you would have to be accepting of the baby. I mean you broke up for a week and he slept with someone else in that time? He wouldn’t be invited back in my bed for a long time till we fixed what was wrong… He’s thinking with the wrong head and I’d bet this girl is known to him before you broke up. What was his excuse as to WHY you two broke up and why he wanted back with you. If he really loved you he wouldn’t have slept with someone else if he was intent on trying to get back with you. Has he always had such poor impulse control? Is he seeing this girl for Dr appointments? Is he still sleeping with her because let’s face it she is already pregnant! Good luck to you.

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Your emotions are valid but it’s not the child’s fault. This is a situation where if you’re going to have resentment towards the child because of the nature in which it was brought into the world then you need to get out of that relationship asap.

Well you’re right it ain’t the child’s fault that’s the first thing you always have to remember it’s innocent. I would learn to enjoy it because it’s going to be around for a long time so make things easy on you and on him and especially on the baby You’re the adults and that way you know you did the right thing. I’m sure it was hurtful and I know it will be a reminder Just remember you were broke up so it wasn’t during you. I’m just enjoy the baby cute little innocent little babies You want it to love you back. Who knows maybe it will turn out that the baby loves you the most be good to it.

I know a lot of men are horn dogs They can’t be good though as soon as the girlfriend is gone and broke up there moving on to the next one That’s how men are they’re always looking for the next one and when they have something right in front of them.

Any judge would tell you that any major decision regarding any child should be made by adults only in the best interest of the child. Granted, it would be hard in your case, but in the long run it is the better decision.

Imo he will probably do this again. You will break up for a min, sleep with someone, the cycle continues.

Yeh I would say no…. But it would be sad for the child. I wonder if you’ll be able to get past it. Maybe in time it will
Become easier but seriously, maybe consider leaving him too for the baby’s sake?

Do you WANT to accept this baby as a member of your family? Do you WANT to love them and nurture them and their relationship with their sibling and dad? If you don’t WANT to, then it’s probably not going to happen without them feeling that tension or pain in the air. Go seek some therapy and maybe look into some circle of security options so you learn healthy coping strategies and how to remain child focused through these emotions. Some co parenting workshops perhaps?

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It is what it is. If you choose to stay with this man then the child is part of the deal. For your child’s sake remember this child is a sibling. Sounds like you’re still hurt over the act of having a baby with someone else. It’s normal to be upset but even if you choose to not be with the father, it’s still your child’s sibling.

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He put you in this position. You will always resent it and will probably divorce in several years with more kids to damage with a broken home. Leave now. Let him deal with it and find a good man to show your kids what a great relationship is. I divorced my love after he cheated several more times and we eventually divorced after 30 years. My kids are still a mess living with his cheating and being embarrassed. I wish I had left when I found out the first time but I was pregnant and had a toddler at home.

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You dont have to accept the baby but in return you cant accept your boyfriend and should leave. As crappy as it may feel they are now a deal package. As of explaining to your little in a way that isnt confusing, kids are alot more understanding then we think. I grew up in home with “half siblings” never thought of them as half or confused on the subject. My little family now is blended as well, and my step kiddos consider my daughter as nothing less then their sister. Kids are loving and amazing.

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That child is 100% innocent and treating them any other way than you would treat your own child is just wrong.

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You chose to stay hunni and I hate to say it like this but you did…wasn’t the baby’s fault as you know so you need to either move past it and get ready to treat this baby exactly how every baby deserves to be treated (which also means not making your bf feel bad about it)
Or if its too hard you have to end the relationship…
There is really no in-between

I am really sorry this happened to you hunni :purple_heart::purple_heart:

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100% either accept baby or move on uts not fair to the baby

Being raised around this situation in my own family I can offer this advice.
Y’all were broke up at the time the child was conceived. I’m that sense he didn’t cheat on you. It’s still hard though. My aunt went through this exact thing. She got back together with him and accepted him/child , put the rest in her mind as “ we were not together at the time”. She loved/accepted/treated that baby as her own ( yes they had 2 kids). Depending on the age of your child nothing needs to be explained at this time. It’s simply his brother/sister. Explaining can come when they are older. If you can’t do that, if you can’t look at this child and fully love/accept it then leave.

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Yes. You were broken up, he didn’t cheat on you and that result is a baby that is your toddler’s sibling. I hate to sound rude, but this whole thing isn’t about you and your feelings. Your boyfriend is now a package deal that comes with 2 kids and if you can’t except that he has 2 kids, then you need to just move on now because you’ll grow to resent the child and your anger with your boyfriend will be misplaced. If you two were to break up again, another woman might be on the same forum asking if she has to accept your child as part of this man and I want you to think long and hard about how you’d react to that situation. Its going to hurt, but it is what it is and you have to make the choice to accept it or not and even if you don’t accept it; the fact remains the same. Your baby will now have a sibling.

I get why you’re hurt. It’s a constant reminder of your breakup and knowing that he slept with someone else when you were broken up :cry: but as you say, that isn’t the child’s fault. Families are all different shapes and sizes nowadays, just explain to your child that it’s their sibling and leave it as that. My son has a ‘sister’ who is my partner and his ex’s child (different situation as she was conceived before I even knew him), but they call each other brother and sister. I understand you’ll have a hard time accepting this baby but if your partner is going to have a relationship with this child, you’re going to have to try

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I get why you’re hurt. It’s a constant reminder of your breakup and knowing that he slept with someone else when you were broken up :cry: but as you say, that isn’t the child’s fault. Families are all different shapes and sizes nowadays, just explain to your child that it’s their sibling and leave it as that. My son has a ‘sister’ who is my partner and his ex’s child (different situation as she was conceived before I even knew him), but they call each other brother and sister. I understand you’ll have a hard time accepting this baby but if your partner is going to have a relationship with this child, you’re going to have to try

You already know the answer to this….also no offense but this man is still a bf and not a husband. If y’all break up in the future you may still have to explain that Daddy had a baby with a different Mommy. And that’s nice for you because now you have a new brother or sister.

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You don’t need to explain to the toddler. You just say “brother/sister” and that’s all that needs to be said to a toddler.

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The baby is innocent

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Tell your toddler that the baby is his brother or sister.
You need to work out a way to accept that he has another child and his child is going to be part of your life and will always be an important part of his life and your son’s life.
Whether or not you choose to help out with the baby is entirely up to you… You shouldn’t feel obligated to look after his baby or to help him care for his baby… but, you really do need to accept that this baby is your partner’s baby… and that his baby is your son’s sibling…

It’s not that babies fault how would you feel if someone tried ruin the relationship between your toddler and their father. You need to just break up now because you will not treat that baby kind.

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If you r writing this post, I feel you want to stay together. You baby has a sibling now, best to just fall in love with the new baby and make some room.

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I think you need to take a break until you get over your anger and resentment. The child is not at fault. Your boyfriend is. Why are you jealously going to punish the child. Your child is small. You say this is your brother or sister. That’s it. A child is not interested in all the rest. You need to remember your not married and if you don’t get through the resentment and anger you may never be and there will be additional children to “explain”. Maybe some counseling will help.

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It’s probably best that you not spend time alone with that baby