Do I have to communicate with my ex husbands new wife?

A few months ago, my husbands new wife decided that she didn’t like him communicating with me. One day he just adds her to a group message and ask a question, when I try to communicate with him outside of the group message, he ignores me. I have tried to include her in things with our daughter, invite them to birthday parties, and go out of my way to make her feel included. Recently, after many other instances, an assignment was due on the week they had her. When I reached out to them to reiterate that we need to work together to make sure that assignments are turned in, she totally disrespected me and bit my head off. Since then, she continues to comment on things she doesn’t need. When she lashed out at me again, I blocked her. I tried to set healthy boundaries with her, but after time and time again she continues to disrespect me. I didn’t make a child with her, and I won’t allow her to disrespect me. Am I wrong for that?
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Absolutely not. That’s totally uncalled for & she’s being very insecure. I would block her, & message your ex husband only. If he chooses to ignore you that’s on him, there’s no reason for her be acting like that and no reason you should be taking that kind of abuse. If your ex husband asks you about it, tell him the truth. You will not be talked to in that way and until further notice you will only be contacting him. I hate woman like this, she can go suck it.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have to communicate with my ex husbands new wife?

You are not required to communicate with anybody but the father and if u took this to court the judge would take care of him

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No. She sounds like a crazy jealous person. Big yikes.

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You don’t have to speak to anyone who disrespects you .

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No you do not. Take it to court thr Judge will tell her to step off.

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She doesn’t have rights to your child so that’s a big no! Good for you by the way!

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You are 100% in the right. Only person you have to communicate with is him. Take him to court and force him to use a parenting app to communicate. Then all of your conversations are logged so if he doesn’t respond to your messages he can get in trouble.

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The communication should be between the parents of the child. All the step parents want to step in and hender a good parenting plan simply because they are insecure.

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It sounds like to me this new wife or “step mom” does not truly care about the child. If she did she’d treat you with respect for the sake of the child. I’d be concerned.

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She’s sounds like she has some insecurities. You do not need to communicate with her at all.
Just your ex husband.

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How old is this child??

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You are not, nor will ever, be required to communicate with her if you don’t want to. A court would never order that either. It is the responsibility of the parents only.

It’s difficult if y’all choose to, but in the case you do not an do not wish to.

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No you do not you have custody with him not her she needs to get over herself

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You don’t have to talk to her at all if you don’t want to :woman_shrugging:t3: her actions and him ignoring you when you try to talk to him personally will all go against him in the long run

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No your not wrong the woman clearly has trust issues, and he needs to grow balls and tell her to back off and dont be disrespectful to his childs mother, woman must be a control freak

My ex husband will only text me back in a group chat with his wife.
It was annoying at first. But I know she isn’t having a great life, so :wink: :rofl:

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My ex-husband tried to insist that my three children go visit and stay with Step Mom on the same schedule that he and I had while he was deployed to Afghanistan for six months I told him if they choose to go there that’s fine but I had custody with him not her

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Your ex needs to grow a pair of balls

Not really. I let my fiance do all the talking with his ex wife and I am cordial with her. Not because I don’t like her or anything, but because it’s kinda none of my business. She’ll contact me if she needs to and same with me. I dunno, maybe cause we’re grown ups :woman_shrugging:

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Communication is between the parents not step parents.y husband does not communicate with my daughter’s father. She sounds jealous. He needs to tell her to step back when it has to do with y’alls daughter

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It’s really hard to say because we don’t know both sides of the story.

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No. I’m in a similar situation. At first she took over but now I mainly talk to her. I could care less to talk to my ex

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You are correct. I agree with your for trying, but I’d she isn’t working with you respectfully then it’s on her. You only have to communicate with the child’s father. It’s up to him to deal with her

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She’s being stupid… I am assuming your LO is 10 or under that you have to fu… Either way she’s not a parent.

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Yeah, no. You should put in that chat, I need to talk to her other legal guardian and it’s not you.
If there’s a court order, remind them…
It doesn’t involve her and either HE communicates as the order states or it’s time to go back to court. :woman_shrugging:
In my case, I preferred the new wife to my ex so I didn’t care. My son adores her to this day so it wasn’t a thing.
However, with my husband, I didn’t get involved bc it wasn’t up to me to be involved like that.
.

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No way. She’s wrong. If she’s not going to be nice I would make it clear that you will speak only to your child’s father and she needs to take a step back and if they don’t like that then they can take you to court to have it changed. Because you don’t have children with her, she has zero right to speak to you like that. I’d be letting your ex husband know that he better get some balls and tell her to back off if he doesn’t want legal problems.

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go to court ordered mediation. you him and her and put in writing the things you want done and have those things ordered in the custody agreement

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Wow I’m going through something VERY similar… although this gf doesn’t want me communicating with him whatsoever involving our child it’s ridiculous. There’s an absolute mess going on and it’s just awful. If you ever need someone to talk to please reach out! I totally understand what you’re going through!

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I personally would tell her to back off or you’ll get the courts involved. They can mandate the communication is only between you and the father

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The only one you are obligated to communicate with is the one who shares dna with your child.

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Communication is between parents and not the step parents!

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My son’s father’s wife thought she could pull something similar with me. I brought it to my lawyer who brought it to the judge. My son’s father was given a choice: supervised visits or his wife not communicating with me. He chose neither and didn’t see our son for years. Good riddance. I suggest you bring this issue to your lawyer.

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Fuck her. You don’t have to communicate with her only the dad. He needs to grow a pair and put her in her place.

She’s not the parent, if she’s not mentioned in child care, visitation orders or anything, then no.

If you’re only contacting Him with regards to the child you share, then send the damn msgs to the group chat. Respect her boundaries… Not so sure what your issue is.

Tell her from now on you wanna talk to him about the child y’all had together and not her. And tell her if she doesn’t like that then you will gladly take it to court and make it a court order that he has to be the one to talk you regarding your child not her.

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No you don’t have to. I don’t communicate with my daughters father girlfriend, she didn’t make the kid… if she wants information she can respectfully ask him

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I think it’s ridiculous that adults can’t all work together in the best interest of the child. When two people marry and one or both have children with ex’s, they are becoming a step-parent, which means, when that child is in the others home, they are PARENTING that child , both of them! It’s none of this stuff that’s your child you take care of it, you do it together… grow up!

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I had the same problem 30 years ago with the new wife. Some things never change. Tell him that when you remarry, he can deal with your new husband.

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No…she needs to grow the fk up!!..yall have to co-parent the best you can without outside influences going against what you both are trying to accomplish. She is only hurting the child by pulling a stupid stunt like this.
My ex (current), his ex wife, and I would all sit together at school functions, plays, sporting games etc…we didn’t want my step son to have to decide who he is running to when he scores, or gets injured…When she needed my exs help at her house with stuff for their son, we went together and I respected her…She did try to pull some shit once but I squashed it fast…because she wasn’t over the pain of the divorce, had nothing to do with me. Good luck…

Don’t worry, her insecurities will drive him away in no time. Maybe then he can get his balls back.

No you do not. I was in a similar situation with my ex and his wife. I actually like her better than him but got tired of him acting clueless (plus she got snarky). I now communicate important stuff to him solely but send her pics and little pieces of info

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My situation is totally different, me and my fiancé’s ex are the ones who talk about My step son cause him and her can’t get along. All communication goes through me unless it’s a serious issue that makes my fiancé mad. Me and her get along really well now. It was bumpy at first but once you get in the flow of things it won’t be as bad. Don’t ever allow her to disrespect you, but maybe she feels kicked to the side as the step parent that “doesn’t matter” because I have been there and it hurtts

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No you’re not in the wrong and she needs to learn her place and stay in her own lane. If she can’t accept that take it to court that can cause a toxic situation for your daughter as I’m sure the new wife has plenty to say when your daughter is there

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No the new wife should mind her own business and you shouldn’t have to consult her on anything that doesn’t have anything to do with the baby daddy or your child…lol she didn’t hold your hand at birthing nor when you were having sex with the dad…lol she has no say whatsoever.

You are most definitely NOT wrong. You were nice to begin with to try and include her but at the end of the day he is the father and you are the mother. She needs to stay tf out of it. And yes I’m speaking from experience. I’ll never do that shit again. You need to let him know that you will NOT be having any more communication with her so therefore he must grow a set and talk to you. And if the problems still happen the week he’s suppose to have her than you just simple state that either he gets his shit together or he won’t have her on school days :woman_shrugging:t3: gtfoh with that jealous mess :joy::woman_facepalming:t3:

I think you don’t NEED to but if she is helping raise YOUR child, I feel like she should be included to know what’s going on but disrespecting is a big no no for both parties IMO you didn’t go into much detail on how she disrespected you however it sounds like you and her both have some growing up to do.

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I am an ex wife and new wife…I do not speak to either SM/Moms on either side.

Personal choice. I dont do drama. I dont deal with disrespect. I also dont disrespect anyone’s wife or partner.

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She’s ridiculous! And insecure if she HAS to be apart of you guy’s conversations

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My husband’s ex wife refuses to message me, even if I’m trying to tell her about one of the kids being sick. She will literally text my husband, when he’s out of state, to text me to say she’s right outside to pick them up. :roll_eyes:

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You are completely in the right here. I’d keep her blocked and only communicate with him about your child. She’s being immature

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They are married so she is a “parent” to your child now. Your child is at their house apparently ever other week. So whether you like it or not yes you need to learn to communicate with her. As for telling them what they need to do at their house you are out of line. I was a step mom for 18 yrs before I divorced my ex husband. My stepson’s mom acted just like you are. I was nice and polite till she crossed lines like asking my husband asking my husband how his day was in a private text. The group text is the best thing. That way NO one can say someone said something they didn’t. Learn to deal with her.

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You should be able to communicate with your child’s step-parent. Perhaps she bit your head off because she was already aware the assignment was going to need done and did not need to be patented by you to achieve that.

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Been there and went to court and the judge told my daughters father that communication is to be strictly between the parents ONLY no 3rd party unless needed for emergency because she told me I wasn’t allowed to talk to him about our daughter blocked my number and only allowed me to use hers :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Crystal McKinney Brumek its not out of line if it has to do with their daughter and her education. It’s not likes she telling them she needs to go to bed by this time and do this or that when shes with them. She just wants to work together to make sure she gets her school work done… by the sounds of it

I guess some of you missed the part where she said she TRIED to include this woman. She wanted to work with BOTH of them. She does NOT have to deal with the disrespect. Since the new wife has the husband’s testicles in her purse, maybe they need to take this matter to court. :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Nope, message him and only him, if he ignores you, him being out of touch with your child is HIS choice. You do not have to go through her period cuz she decides she doesnt want you communicating with him. He made the child not her, the only person you need to communicate with his him. End of story.

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No you’re not wrong for that. You’re absolutely right you didn’t lay down and make a baby with her. You have NO reason to have to speak to her. You tried to be nice

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When it comes to school assignments I set up a communication with the other parent with the school and my child they are responsible for there studies no communication needed between parents that was about 23years ago they lived with me and did their studies on there own so everyone was respected and informed ,sometimes you have to make the children responsible for themselves too ,stop blaming the other parent all of the time that’s harmful to everyone …I just tried to figure a better way since we where unable to communicate at an unemotional capacity, It worked my boys thrived

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No you aren’t it takes time sometimes for the new chick to realize that you don’t want him anymore

Court order family counseling

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its normal to feel that way. i used to feel that with my ex’s wife. it was a process i had to go through with myself.
its not an easy process but worth trying.
i used to think she’s stepping boundaries. especially whe she buys random stuff for my kids without consulting me.
(my kids have sensitive needs esp in foods)
i had to process a trust for her and communicated more so we’ll be on the same page. and now we talk more than my ex husband haha. like woman to woman. mom to mom. which I find easier now. goodluck to you. know that what you feel is valid. i hope things get better.

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IMO your child is in her care whenever she goes over to their house. I would try to be the good guy because I wouldn’t want my child to be mistreated behind my back because adults can’t get along. :woman_shrugging:t2:y’all don’t need to hold hands and be best friends, at least try to get along for the sake of your child

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Literally my life right now. I text him, he responds on the group message. And she is always giving her opinion and trys to be in charge of everything! Like I am sorry I didn’t have kids with you, our parenting plan doesn’t have her name as to what % she gets! She is just his wife! I feel ya!

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Don’t allow her to disrespect you. Some people are just trouble makers.

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Is the new wife 12??? Lol of course you’re not wrong!

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Not at all. She needs to chill!

Um I have 0 communication with my bfs ex. Those are their kid’s!!!

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Wow! This could be my granddaughter mother asking this! She is YOUR daughter not the STEP-mothers. It should be you and dad communicating about your child. It sounds like his new wife is very controlling and very unsure of her marriage. Hang in there and do what’s best for your child. And yes, I was talking about my own son.

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No your not wrong in that it should be you an dad communicating an not her unless it’s an emergency

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Little app call AppClose wonderful thing for mutiple parenting households. Shouldn’t have to use it but you can add mutiple parties to it.

We use it because he has had exes that block my number and my FB so this way we can communicate

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Maybe cause you don’t state EX

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In a perfect world it could be all 3 of you. Sounds like you tried and you need peace more than consideration of the new wife. I’ve been on both sides and it takes everyone being grown for it to work. Maybe later on things will change. Awesome of you to even give it a try!!!

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I wouldn’t answer anything in that chat. I’d be messaging him and only respond to messages he sends between the two of you.
Period.

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I would go back to court! You absolutely do not have to check in with her on anything regardless of if there married or not! Co parenting is between you and your baby daddy period! You can choose to involve her if you want to but you absolutely do not have to go through her! I would go back to court 9/10 times they will issue a order saying that you and him are to communicate regarding the child and she is not to be involved with communication. I absolutely wouldn’t be putting up with this especially since she’s making it difficult, and not even communicating effectively! You and the father are responsible for parenting and communication with each other! If she wants to be involved in the communication than she needs to be respectful and treat you nicer.

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You should not HAVE to communicate with her at all, however it would make things much easier if she could act like an adult and let the parents communicate and be a help instead of a problem

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No! Co-parenting is between the parents. I’d file a court petition that he communicates with you, not her. Show the texts that she disrespects you & that he ignores you.

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It is non of her damn business. It sounds like she’s jealous of you. You only need to speak to him.

You are coparenting with your child’s father. If she can’t be cordial and respectful, get a court order to exclude her and require him to communicate with you in private conversations regarding the child.

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Your ex should be talking to her :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: & make him fix it . No more BS

2 sides to every story

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Nope contact him have all communication with him ignore her she is irrelevant

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I don’t buy this story at all

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Ya no she is being super weird and controlling. Who made the kid? They’re the only ones that matter. If y’all want her advice you’ll ask.

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Just because shes married to him she still has no say or right into that convo. The only time i step in is if my opinion is needed. Hes a grown ass man and is just playing a game with your feelings.

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This is just your side of the story, and for some reason it sounds suspicious. There is absolutely nothing wrong with including and talking to her. Grow up.
When I was married, he had kids with his ex before me and we all 3 communicated just fine. Because sometimes he couldn’t answer the phone because he was busy or at work and I was available. What’s the deal? Some if y’all sound so bitter because your childs father moved on and his life no longer involves you except for the children.

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That’s fair enough! Tell your ex that you have had enough of his wife disrespecting you… she has no right to do this to you, she may be your ex’s wife and daughters step-mother but you set the boundaries and if you feel that disrespected then don’t invite her and if she gets angry set her straight and tell her why. “ that you will not tolerate being disrespected by someone when you are only trying to do the right thing, and as long as she continues to be rude she will not be involved/invited to anything as she isn’t the biological parent and you “WILL NOT” have that influence around your child” good luck

Wait… Your husbands new wife??? YOUR HUSBAND.:joy::joy: I think I figured out why she doesnt like you.

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You tried to do the right thing. Too bad dad isn’t man enough to set boundaries. My ex didn’t either. He let his new gf, at the time, keep him from talking to me or the kids! Sorry. I hope he grows up and is better for your children

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She sounds incredibly insecure.

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Absolutely no way would I be communicating with my ex husband through his new girlfriend or wife about our child. It doesn’t seem like she’s doing it to be involved with/benefit the child, more on the fact that she is uncomfortable with you and him having private conversations period. You should not in any way have to involve her whatsoever. Continue to only contact him and if he still refuses to talk to you, then get a court order so that it would be required for only him to communicate with you about the child.

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I always ALWAYS ask my bonus kids mama first. In my head, I had to work a little bit harder to gain the trust of not only my bonus kid, but his mom too. I gained their trust first by agreeing to her terms and conditions. There is no perfect way. It’s work. You won’t always agree, but since you and your kiddo were there before her, you will be there even if she chooses not to, so ultimately, as long as it’s not abusive, what you say goes. Picking apart what you pack is petty and she has emotional baggage that has nothing to do with you. You can also ignore her and send FYI messages to the father directly. And continue to ignore. If she asks, then tell her she is making you and your ability to properly raise your child very difficult and would rather not speak to her since she isn’t capable of maintaining a composure that is respectful. Tell her when she is ready to understand her role in this life, she can’t sit at the same table. Sorry. Disrespecting a parent of a child is the same as disrespecting the child, in this case IMO. We all are remarried and we coparent between 6 adults. Only 1 kid is doing a time share schedule. But I grew up with a mean step mom.

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You definitely do not have to deal with her at all.

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No you are definitely not wrong. Thats not ok for her to disrespect you like that. I am so so thankful that my daughter’s mom dad and I get along so well with each other.

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You are NOT in the wrong!!

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No you don’t have to …some just come and grab that title like it isn’t earned it sounds like trust issues I mean first of all should getting the communicating with father of child down before that happens and disrespectful

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You are not wrong or the problem that broad is :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:

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