I co parent with my ex husband. NOT his wife. I haven’t spoken to her in over 5 years. It’s peaceful this way.
Your ex husband sounds like she has his backbone in her purse.
I co parent with my ex husband. NOT his wife. I haven’t spoken to her in over 5 years. It’s peaceful this way.
No, she has nothing to do with the child, that is between you and your child’s father… none of her business!
She is an EXTREMELY insecure woman, period! Let her continue doing what she’s doing, start a paper trail, when something is neglected and it involved the child you write down the time/ date and what it was for, just keep doing that you may need it in court one day! She sounds like a catch huh?? God only knows what she says in front of your child to!
She’s clearly insecure. I wouldn’t let it get to you. I’d stop communication in the group chat. Co parenting isn’t the girlfriends /wife business. She clearly thinks there’s something going on and if she does she needs to confront you . I’d stop communication with him and when he wants to stand up to her then he’ll have communication.
You have no obligation, other than to co-parent with the children’s father not anyone else! She should stay in her lane.
You are not wrong! Be pleasant when you see her if you have to but otherwise don’t interact as your daughter will pick up on those negative vibes. Write e-nails to your ex and make sure you get a read receipt for each correspondence.
Nope would not deal with at all
You are definitely not wrong that is yours and your ex’s child not hers she needs to have her own… point blank and stop trying to push you out of your child’s life. She needs to grow up. If she and your ex can’t get it together take them into court and get it fixed. If she’s that jealous of you speaking and getting along with your ex who you have a child with you got to wonder how’s she’s around your child when no one’s looking. And if your ex is that immature maybe court might be the answer
Not at all. You put in the effort, she’s definitely the problem!!
Id want healthy lines of communication no matter what the cost.even if i had to listen to her.my kids are front and center.i could deal with a lil disrepect if it was nessasary.establishing boundaries in there relationship including your conversations is nessasary for them to build love trust and a healthy relationship…i would want that for him because it will then be taught to your daughter.turn the other cheak.be the better person…or more important ly just do whats nessasary to ensure your daughter is taken care of.that includes the other gal so be it.
Wait what??? Ur husbands new wife??? Ok i need to read it again
In Canada unless it’s court order NO.
Honestly I’m a bonus mom of 3 so imma need more details like what you said and what exactly did she say that you call snapping your head off or being disrespectful to you not enough details for me and I’ve been on both ends so personally I need more info
From personal experience i would tread very lightly here…
My daughter’s new step mother slowly done the exact same thing! Until she pushed my daughter right out of his life they now have 4 children of their own and my daughter has to beg for his time (the SM doesn’t allow him to see her) so he has to lie and sneak around to be able to talk and see our daughter!! Which he does whenever he has the chance he is an awesome father, but this women uses his new babies against him on a daily basis…it’s very sad to witness!!!
And unfortunately it’s a jealousy thing, just be very careful…i wouldn’t want any child to have to go through what my daughter has for the last few years!
I wish you and your daughter the very best
Gabrielle Roberts sound kinda familiar
Hell no you didn’t do anything wrong!! Your child is between you and your ex!
Nope. You aren’t obligated to communicate with her unless it specifically states so in court order. Document and screenshot and record (if you state is a one-party state) any and all communication from him and her here on out.
Not at all. You don’t even have to talk to him. .
Put a note in her bag to him. Your daughter can read it to him. That way you know he gets the message.
If she can’t trust him…
It won’t last.
Trust is the foundation of marriage.
She is a part of tour daughters life, but to me, ultimately it’s up to you and your ex to have communication regarding your child. Especially if she’s not being civil about the whole situation.
Nope. Bonus mom here and dad’s new wife is being a jerk and has control/trust issues. I always tell my husband when we are dealing with his ex-wife (her and I don’t really get along but that’s no one’s problem but ours) She is our baby’s mom, she may not be my friend, but she is that little boys mom and hero and therefore she will always be treated as such and I am not here to replace her in the slightest, I am here to love and support you and our family and be one more person in our son’s corner to help him succeed in life. She needs to grow up and act like an adult and the answer is no, you don’t need to communicate with her at all. ESPECIALLY if she’s going to act like that.
I would document everything and try to set up a meeting with all theee if you, plus one more for moral
Support for you (your sibling, new partner, parent). Discuss co-parenting on an evening level headed and adult manner. Do not start off with a surging to make her defensive, but rather something on the lines of, “I’d line to set up a line of communication with teachers and ‘ourselves’ so we can help our daughter have the best start to the school
Year.” Starting off with a positive will show you’re the bigger person and put your daughter at the forefront. At the end of the day, it’s HER welfare and best interest you should all have in mind. Keep emotions out of the conversation. Even if she tries to bring them in. Stick to ‘how to plan a straight line of co versatile between you all’. And again, document everything. Hoping this helps.
That’s third party interference and not ok. They make tons of co-parenting apps. Even free ones where it’s all recorded and just you and him.
Yes you do need to deal with stepmom also. She is a parent figure to your daughter so yes all parents need to communicate together.
Sounds like she’s a control freak
That’s ridiculous. You and him have a child together. There’s no reason for her to be a third party in all communication. Sounds like she has some real insecurities going on. Send him the texts. He may not respond but he’s reading them. If he doesn’t respond then make the decisions on your own and when he cries about it point out that you attempted to include him but he didn’t respond. He’ll get the picture sooner or later.
These busy body stepparents need to step back. SMH
I don’t have anything to do with my exes wife. Zero contact. I don’t get much back and forth with him either, so when I text him about something, I leave it at that. I know he’s read it. Life is so much easier.
Dad’s a pussy and well I won’t say what the crazy lady is…lol
I would talk to her, woman to woman.
No it seems they she has bad insercurity about herself and a controlling situation I would not go out the way for her and just do what is right for kids and u she needs to grow up
Nope leave him a message after you block her on everything and state that if he cannot talk to you himself then your communication will be from your lawyer to him and that’s it. You did not have a baby with her, yes she is in your kid’s life but communication should not be directly through her.
Well depending on the child’s age the child should be held accountable for getting school work done as well.
Sounds like the wife is petty af but she’s part of the picture so unfortunately you’re going to have to live with it and find some sort of way to work it out.
Stand your ground. It isn’t about HER-she needs to get a grip
Your not wrong. She sounds very immature. Decisions about the child are made through the parents. Let your ex know if he can’t take on that responsibility then you’ll do it yourself. It is not her child although she is welcome to be part of the extended family the final decisions are between you two. If she continues to disrespect you she will loss that privilege
You made a child with him, not her. You don’t have to communicate with her at all. Either you communicate with him, or your lawyer does.
Sounds like you honestly gave it your best effort, just keep her blocked. Unless she caught y’all being inappropriate she has 100% no reason to be in the middle of everything, It’s healthy for step parents wanting to help and be involved but she’s crossed the line that’s ridiculous.
Leslie Ann Batson wow… You don’t know him Leslie! Our daughter has recently turned 18 and before this so called step mother came into the picture there was never an issue!! So yeah HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN EXCELLENT FATHER… and i will always defend him call me crazy!!!
No woman should be making a father chose between his children and unfortunately that is exactly what has happened here…
The point i was trying to make Leslie is that she should tread very carefully, it’s been hard as a mother to watch my daughter go through this shit and not being able to do a damn thing… but again that’s just my opinion and she was asking for advice.
I would only communicate via email.
You aren’t legally obligated to communicate with her at all. If adding her to the group chat helps him keep peace in his household, that could be ok. But not if he’s refusing to communicate with you at all because she’s jealous
No. Make it clear to Dad if he doesn’t deal with it, the lawyers will and it will cost him $$$. She is not the parent - you made and effort- he has to step up. Period. You do not have to deal with her BS.
Oh No!! Kick her to the Curb an let it straight out to her an ur Ex…
U did not make ur child with her , u an ur Ex make ur child together …
Your child is between u an ur Ex!!!
U should head back to Court an let the judge know about this …
The Judge will order ur Ex to Co parent with u and not her…
U can record the things she is telling u,
snapping at u an forward the voice recordings to ur Lawyer, ur Lawyer will have the Option of playing those Recordings in Court
If it’s in text messages have it Printed out make copies of it for urself an give ur lawyer copies of the printed text messages…
Ur will be able to show it to the Judge…
The Judge will then order ur husband that he has to Co parent with u…
Men tend to go Court an lie but once u have ur recordings an print out of messages in order …
U can get a counselar an fill him or her in the situation also by asking for help , that way ur Counselar can write a letter for u to give to ur Lawyer & ur Lawyer will be able to show the Judge u have a Counselar as guaidance for u an ur child…
That way ur Ex will not Mess with u an ur child Life…
Because at the end of the day the Judge will see u wants what is Best in ur child Life an that u are not mixing matters by having this outside woman and ur Ex to be Snapping at u telling u Nasty things , u can also take out a PROTECTION ORDER FOR U AND UR CHILD this way she will not be able to tell ur child hurtful things
Because if she start telling ur child hurtful things that will affect ur child Emotionally and Mentally this is the reason of the PROTECTION ORDER this way the Judge will see u are Setting Boundaries straight for u an ur kid , as u said in ur post this Step mother is already Snapping at u Nasty because u want to Co-Parent with ur Ex…
TRUST ME UR Ex and his outside Woman will not Mess around u an child Life once that Protection Order is taken Out for u and ur Child.
Healthy/boundaries don’t involve how you’re acting. Respect that it’s not just you and him as a couple. There’s a woman out there who will be an advocate for and love your children if you step back from parenting your ex, get outside of yourself and realize that it’s now team you kids! You sound only in a teamwork mentality when you want to control your kids and exes behavior.
Nope all communication can be done with you and your ex. You are the parents not her
Although she sounds insecure, you did accidentally refer to him in this post as your husband. Maybe you have slipped in front of her before, so she thinks you still want him?
Speaking from stepmom POV it would be easier if you had a relationship with the new wife. But you don’t have to. I’m a bio mom and a stepmom. You may have to deal with her because he’s letting her run the house. I took over all communication and scheduling for our son with his bio mom. I was the one with the schedules and plans so it was easier than him having to come ask me first and get back to her. Again, you don’t have to. My situation was different. My son’s bio mom is no longer in his life after flaking on him so much. She was never a “good” mom to begin with. And maybe that’s why it made it easier for me to take over. She kind of just never cared anyway. If my hubs and I divorced and he got remarried I would have a VERY hard time dealing with any new woman when it comes to either of our children. Depending on how my children felt about her… I want to say the right thing to do is try. But again, I’m not sure I could if I were you. Especially if she’s an asshole. Hard nope. If she were nice then I would try my hardest.
You don’t really need to talk to her since you didn’t have a kid with her. But I would be very classy and talk to her anyways because you be promoting yourself as the bigger person. But the father needs to know that anything that deals with your daughter he needs to pay attention to.
You referred to him as your husband maybe you have not let go of him
Well from experience. She the wife took over and will brainwash your child hopefully that don’t happen but in my case it was all about the money and people judges they knew in town I got fu&$ so from experience u and him made that child. U and him discuss your child’s life choices
In my opinion you don’t got to talk to anybody unless it’s the person you made the child with
Oh this sounds familiar. For the last five years, since I’ve been divorced I have to text my ex-husband about the kids in a group message with his wife. And he doesn’t respond if I don’t. It seems ridiculous to me. If I wanted him, I wouldn’t have divorced him.
You are not wrong for blocking someone who cannot respect ur boundaries and ur ex needs to put her in her place when she does. Yall may not be together but u have a child together and she needs to get off her high horse
Yikes, that’s definitely crossing a boundary. I would look into a coparenting app (we use App Close) where everything’s documented and nothing can be deleted. I’ve noticed people tend to get their acts together when confined to those. You should be able to talk to your coparent without someone else always having to interject
Go to court. That’s the only way to fix their shitty attitude
No you’re not wrong.
No and you don’t have to talk to her. Message your husband directly don’t communicate on any group text with her included. Remind your daughters teachers about split households for any assignments and start holding your daughter accountable for remembering what is do and when
What’s the court order say?
Understand her position too… her husband having too much communication with his ex…she will be insecure… they probably had a fall out and this is why he is behavin that way towards u. Why does the assignment need to be done together? U do what u can, when ur child goes to them dey pick up where u left off. I may be rong, but u tryin overly hard to ‘want’ to talk to him. Respect their boundaries
Tell dad flat out to man the hell up and talk to you. It is both of y’all’s child that you made, not his new wife. She sounds controlling as hell and I would bring that up to him to, the fact that he can’t talk about his own child to their mother is pathetic
No, you are not wrong.
Co parenting Includes the ex as well as any new spouses. Try to work things out for your child’s sake. I have been in your shoes
I’d be interested to hear the other side of it all before voicing a strong opinion.
I’m both bio and bonus mama. I happily communicate with my exes partners. But my stepkids mums aren’t so great at considering me part of the child’s life. They try to ban me from sports etc etc. (that’s just the tip) so sometimes both sides need to play nice.
The fact you refer to him as your husband still is a red flag for me that you perceive her as a threat or enemy
Hell no you don’t have to communicate with her. If she’s gonna be acting like that, tell her to suck it He needs to take responsibility and talk to you himself.
The fact that he ignores you otherwise tells you how controlling she is. I’d stop messaging the group chat and only message him. If he doesn’t see the important info you sent then it’s his fault for not listening
You’re not obligated to communicate shit with her. You are the mother, he is the father. Communication is only required thru you two.
If she wasn’t so over bearing and controlling i would say of course include her but because she is being controlling I would stick to whatever the court order says, text only the father of the child when needed and just do your best to help your child on your time. Most teachers are understanding.
Sounds like you did your part. You can’t make her act in a way she doesn’t want to. Keep it between you and the father. I give you props for your post for still sounding respectful
Nope you are not wrong ! She needs to step back and let you all handle things as the parents you both are . If she’s “insecure” about your communication then that’s her own issue .
Your not wrong at all. If dad cant man up & talk to you & tell her that its not her child but yalls then maybe take him back to court & have the court explain that its not her place. My husbands ex & I dont get along at all (for no reason too she just hates me & I tried being nice but she didnt like that either ) but I have never told her to talk to me not my husband. Thats their kids we have our own kids now so our kids our issues. His kids with her their issues. He includes me in filling me in on what she had to say & such but other than that I stay to myself & she minds her own.
As long as it only about your child only Nothing else
You messed up by even communicating with the “step mom” to begin with it was set in our plan before there was even a “step parent” that all communication and parenting was between him and I ONLY
It’s his child, and he should be doing the communication.
Stop trying women like that are just so jealous. Whether she likes it or not you and the father need to communicate for the kid for years so you tried. Move on. Hopefully one day she’ll wake up and participate.
Take them to court and let a judge put her in her place and as long as y’all keep it about your child she has no right getting in the middle of it
No you don’t have to put up with disrespect. Tell her to back off.
Sounds like she’s insecure. You’re right though, you made a gulf with him not her.
I would go back to court…
Work with ex and shut her out
You re the mother of his child. If he had half a back bone he d draw that line in the sand.
Well fist off he is Not your Husband . 2nd . I feel like there is more to this story .
It’s easier to communicate but no u really don’t have to with her I dont with my ex’s girlfriend at all I figure my child is none of her concern so I don’t even deal with her but most of the time she doesn’t even get involved though which is best .
Nope keep her blocked and contact him if she keeps it up
Do what you gotta
Ugh. I don’t understand why adults can’t adult, particularly after they’ve moved on.
My husbands ex wife didn’t want a bar of me, doesn’t bother me but if she’d been up for it I’d have had no problem. Whereas I’d rather talk to my ex husbands new partner than him
Nope. I was in your situation and today, I’m not sad she died!
Take him back to court you have every right
U Aint Gotta Communicate With Nobody But The Childs Father
Nope, and if u go to court a judge will side with you. She needs to stay back n mind her business.
No you do not. Check your papers. It’s between you and him. I dealt with this for a short period.
No court will make you. She is irrelevant.
My ex has been with his wife since 4mo before my son was born and married since December 2018 and I do not talk with her at all! In fact she has very little to do with my son and he doesn’t even know who she is. My 5yo son doesn’t even know my ex lives with her. Bahahahaha I refused to have anything to do with her because she’s disrespectful and rude and I won’t tolerate that. NOTHING says I have to communicate with her or be around her even if they are married!!
Nope. You set healthy boundaries. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Stepmothers are some of the most narcissistic and abusive people. They can pretend they’re sweet In front of others but so many either learn or know the truth.
Now, I’m not saying all. Some are plenty wonderful.
Nope. Tbh, its none of her damn business and if she cared/wanted whats best for your child, she would respect you as the child’s mother. Imo.
She sounds insecure. Go to court and have the judge order all communication on a parenting app like Parent Wizard. That way there is a record and boundaries of what is said.
I would just communicate with him keep the stuff where she disrespects you and if he ignores you then oh well I guess he’s not going to any his daughters parties or if the school calls and asks why half her work is missing give them the husband’s number and say that’s when she’s with him
This is sad bc I ended up becoming friends with all my exs girlfriends and his now ex wife. Kids shouldn’t suffer bc of an inability to work together
No she needs to but out tell ex that or go through a councillor
You are doing everything possible to make it work. She is jealous.
Take him to court and tell her to butt out
I’ve been in your shoes before up until recently. My ex has had some crazy ones since we split up, one even went as far as to tell me my daughter was going to live with them so he didn’t have to pay child support and then started disrespecting me. The only difference is my ex put her on her place. He has always respected me and told me what a great mother I am to our child. Also luckily about 8 years ago he got with his current wife and they now have a one year old and we get along great. I absolutely love her. Our daughter is now 19 and currently pregnant with our first granddaughter and his wife and I are planning her baby shower. I went to there daughters 1st birthday and we all have a great relationship. Some people think its weird but I’m just glad we have a good relationship. My other daughters father isnt about co parenting at all. Hopefully everything gets better in your situation.
I’m so thankful me and my step daughters mom have a decent relationship. That shit would suck
Block her. You had kids with him, not her.
It’s between you and him and a court will tell her where to go!