Do I tell my sisters husband about her bf? Or do I mind my business even though it is affecting the kids….
My sister and husband have been married for 16 years. They were good the first 8. My brother in law is a good guy. Then things started to go south. My sister cheated on her husband and had a bf (a married man) a few years ago and he found out and she swore it was over. They tried to work on their marriage but nothing really happened. They got a little better but still bad. Her husband has suffered from depression in the past as well. Come to find out my sister and her bf never broke up. All of her kids know about the boyfriend and she even brings the kids around the boyfriend. However, her husband doesn’t know. Now to top it off - the oldest, she is 14 - just saw a doctor and is depressed bc she has to keep so many secrets my sister tells her and can’t handle the pettiness between my sister and her husband.
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Since it’s affecting the kids, I would tell him. There’s no reason that your sister needed to involve the kids, let alone make them lie for her. No offense since it’s your sister, but he needs to leave her. He already has depression, living like that will not help it. There’s gonna be two people, the ones who will say back your sister up and the other saying to tell him. I say tell him. Him. & your nieces / nephews deserve better.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I tell my Brother in Law my sister has a boyfriend? - Mamas Uncut
I would say something only cause it’s affecting the children at this point.
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How bout you tell your Sister if she doesn’t come clean you will do it for her!!!
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Shes hurting those kids.
Tell her husband
She doesn’t deserve to get away with what she’s doing.
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She’s not going to tell him.
You should for the sake of the kids.
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I would tell him. 
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Tell her to tell him or you will.
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Def tell her if she doesn’t tell him you will! When the kids health is now being affected, she’s WRONG. And needs to know that.
Kids first tell him so they can move on and be happy
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Anybody that says mind your business in a situation like this grosses me out…you would want to know! and especially if it’s a friend or family member you should “mind your business”?!? absolutely not!..Tell Him.
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Don’t do it
Believe or not he knows
be there for the kids but don’t get in the middle of your sisters business
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If your willing to risk your sister and the kids tell her… other than that mind your business… they get back together and you will be left without all of them!
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I would say something because now it’s affecting the kids. Not just emotionally but also mentally. Children shouldn’t have to carry their parents secrets like this.
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You tell him for the sake if those sweet babies.
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I would say tell him, but don’t expect any thanks for it. You’ll get the blame of destroying a family (probably by the whole family) even though it is 100% your sisters fault. This is obviously bothering you though so tell him (for your own sake if nothing else) and just keep in mind that you are doing the right thing.
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Wow she involved the kids in her affair. Tell him. Then he needs to get the kids therapy
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It’s affecting the kids, time to tell him. They shouldn’t be carrying the burden for their mom. Not fair to the kids.
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My sister did this to her husband of 15 yrs. I told him because he was becoming suicidal, lost his brother to suicide and my sister putting it in his head that he’s the problem. He’s now remarried to an amazing woman!!
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Pull a jersey shore and shove a note under his bedroom floor door. “Bro,bro, remember that time your wife had a boyfriend? And she told you it was over? Well it’s no…”
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All of these years I’m sure he knows. She’s wrong for involving her children and if anyone tells, it should be the children since the mom has them involved. Especially the oldest since she’s the one seemingly affected the most.
Honestly, it’s not your business to tell. Especially considering that’s your sister…. 
Y’all do too much sometimes.
Ps: I let y’all be great because I don’t like Facebook Jail. 
peace and love.
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I’d tell him. Those babies shouldn’t have to suffer nor does anyone deserve to be cheated on. If he knows and he’s ok with it awesome, if not, at least he then knows. Plus can get the kids some help and or work something out with your sister so it’s not negatively impacting the kids.
That’s a terrible thing to do to your kids, to put them in that position…I know first hand
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I would tell him AND I’d rock my sisters shit. She’s fucking with her kids too.
That’s a complicated one but what I would do first is confront your sister as to what you know about what’s going on. Have her explain the details if she is willing to and have her see how the actions that are going on are affecting the kids. I feel like the husband still has his suspicions if he doesn’t already know what’s going on. Good luck
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Mind you business i went thru similar shit being that child n it was 30 times worse on us once people started opening their traps .
Let her handle her own marriage n children. I was very resentful to my mom about it for a long time but at the end of the day they worked thru it n I couldn’t imagine them not being together now as he is my bonus dad
Tell him. Especially with her involving their children. That is wrong on so many levels.
You’re probably going to loose your sister over this. It doesn’t sound like she’s much of a loss though. I’d tell him. I’d also help him get custody if I could. Cheaters are not morally capable to raising children.
Get that 14 year old outta there and look after her
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He needs to know. And her involving her kids is super shitty. So I would tell him.
Put your sister in her place esp if its affecting her kids thats bullshit
Mind your buisness and support your neice
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I would definitely go to your sister first and tell her it’s time to make a choice, if she’s happier with the boyfriend then she needs to let her husband know their marriage is over so he can move on and the children should have never had that burden put on them. Your sister needs to be honest so everyone can rebuild
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Stay out of it. It will ruin ur relationship w them. I told a friend if mine ab her bf and she got mad at me! I saw him w another women going inside his house. I was his neighbor. He thought I was gone but I forgot something.
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I would tell him. It’s not fair to be in a marriage of 3 as Diana would say. To put those kids through that is emotional and mental abuse. You could always tell him and ask him not to say it was you that told him. Then tell him to do his own research and find out for himself. Those poor kids It’s more than unfair.
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Why lie? He already knew, he’s being screwed over, how unfair on him, some of these comments astound me, if this was a man doing this to a woman you would be all for him getting his ass kicked to the curb, dob her in, it’s now affecting her children, stuff how she feels, she needs to be a woman & either admit it or leave, can’t have ya cake and eat it too.
Sarah Diveley the people telling her to mind her business 
like damn I hope all y’all telling this lady to mind her business get this done to y’all!!!
Please tell him. Shame on her for involving the children. They deserve better from their mother.
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I’d tell him. Him and the kids deserve better.
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Wow, the fact that your niece is suffering directly from this is so wrong. The whole thing is. I would confront your sister and tell let her know the situation - and end with you will be telling her husband for the sake of your niece. Support your niece, support them all.
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I’d tell him. His children’s health and his health are far more important than his wife’s infidelities!
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Absolutely! If you were in his shoes wouldn’t you want someone to tell you.
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I’d find a way for him to find out on his own that wouldn’t lead it to you doing so. That’s disgusting though doing that especially to the kids.
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8 years and you think he doesn’t know? He knows. He might be in denial to try to keep his family together, but he knows. Support your niece, talk to your sister, be honest if asked what you know…but to go out of your way to tell him seems like you’re just looking for drama. You don’t need to be his hero. You know you’ll destroy your relationship with your sister, but it seems like you don’t care too much about her anyway if you can’t even sit down and talk with her before going behind her back to ruin their marriage.
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The Golden Rule: if you would want to be told if your husband had a long time girlfriend, then tell your brother in law. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
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Oh he would be told. Receipts all sent. She’s hurting her children and they will carry that their whole life! Not fair to the kids or him.
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Tell him, if it was the other way around pretty much everyone would be saying to tell her so what’s the difference.
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Tell the husband. It’s wrong
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Ok first off this sounds like a soap opera. Yea the kids need out of this because parents relationship issues should remain between the parents. Your sister is crazy to involve her children. Tell her husband , he deserves to know.
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Give her a ultimatum simply " you tell him so he can move on and be happy or I will that’s final the kids are hurting in the middle you’re being petty putting them in it"
She can’t have her cake and eat it too
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You talk to your sister first about how her actions are negatively affecting her kids and let her decided to do the right thing… if she doesn’t than yes I’d tell the husband. Their daughter doesn’t deserve to deal with her mom’s issues and shouldn’t have to keep her moms secrets. I’m surprised she hasn’t told her dad herself
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You can tell who the cheaters are on this thread I’d talk to sister first. But I’d make sure husband knows one way or the other. And tbh I’d confront the bf infront of his wife 
nobody deserves a cheater. And that poor kid!
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Tell him !!! So he can move on
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You always do the right thing. The right thing is to tell the husband so he can get his life and his kids life back under control.
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Go tell the boyfriends wife and have the boyfriends wife go tell your brother in law?
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I would sit your sister down and tell her what she is doing to her child. That is not fair to her. I would tell her that she is causing her child pain by doing this and you won’t stand for it. Either she tells her husband or you will and I would give her a couple days to tell him and if she doesn’t I would. I hate when adults drag their innocent children into it. My parents did that to me at 18 when they divorced and it was awful. I couldn’t imagine being 14 and having to do that.
I would say to her, tell him now or I will!
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For the kids safety and sanity. Absolutely tell him.
I had to keep that secret before and now resent the person a little bit who told me to hide it.
Tell the husband bc talking to her is a waste of time - she has been lying for years about an ended relationship that hadn’t and now she has her children involved in the cruelty and deceit and it’s affecting there mental health as well - def have proof of what is going on to help him cope better and to know that you are not doing it as anything but to help him and his children - she deserves whatever comes - this is just wrong on her part from the get go.
Tell him… What if it was you? And thoes poor children!
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I would go to your sister first and express your concern for the kids and tell her that your going to her husband if she doesn’t. This way she understands that your concerned about your nieces/nephews, it’s ultimately not fair and inappropriate. It also gives her the opportunity to do it herself and hopefully not damage your relationship with your sister too much, and possibly give her and her husband the chance to separate smoothly and respectfully. Either way its a horrible situation for everyone. As adults we
Make choices and choices come with consequences.
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Depends on if you want to still have a relationship with your sister after. You should do what’s best for the children. I would maybe give your sister a warning first like and give her the chance to confess
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Tell her a real woman wouldn’t do this to her kids let alone her hubby…tell her she can tell him the truth or you will then tell her she needs to stop treating her daughter like she’s her grown BFF and telling her things she doesn’t need to know…I’m sorry but taking all the kids around the BF and having them lie to their father is f* up in so many ways…I’d be damned if I allowed her to contuine to do this to the kids…no one deserves to be treated that way and lied to like that…
You’re right, she wrong…
Bust her a@@ out and tell her to make things right or YOU WILL! Then find the BF wife and tell her what’s going on…
I’d also advise her to seek therapy clearly she needs it…hell the whole family will after this comes out…those poor kids and her poor husband…SMH Your sister seems very selfish and by what you say doesn’t appear to care who’s feelings she hurts…END this sh*t now so you can move on too!
I would talk to my sister and give her an opportunity to come clean while letting her know if she doesn’t I will. I would not be ok with my niece or nephews having to live through that and grow up like that so I would definitely step in.
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I would sit her down and talk to her, and give her the chance to tell him herself. If she doesn’t, then you should. Anybody deserves to know when they’re being deceived. But in any case it would be best if it came from the deceiver coming clean with honesty. Best of luck gf
If you wanna keep out of it but still let him know. Just give him a little information so he can figure it out. I would do it in person so it can’t be traced back to you.
If your married sister has a boyfriend, that marriage has been over for a long time… the fact that she’s bringing the guy around the kids clearly states she has no respect for the man she is married to and is showing the kids to disrespect their father.
- I would personally say something. It’s affecting the kids and once my nieces and nephews are affected by my siblings actions, that is when I get involved.
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Once its affecting the kids, it all needs to come out. Poor kids. She should be ashamed of her self and attitude and behaviour… if you aren’t in love with your partner anymore , tell them and move on , don’t cheat
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Tell him, you said yourself, he’s a good guy. He clearly deserves better than what your sister is giving him, let him move on. Especially as it is effecting the kids. Get it all out in open, things could get worse for the kids and thats not fair on them. Depression is not a nice thing to go through yourself let alone seeing kids go through it (talking from experience, my daughter was diagnosed with depression when she was 5). The husband and the kids deserve better, so much better, and so do you, your also keeping this for your sister. Its not healthy, tell him before it’s too late for everyone in the situation.
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That’s disgusting… Its affecting her kids!! I’d tell them, and would hope he got full custody🤷🏻‍♀️ then I’d tell the boyfriends wife.
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I’d help those kids. Tell her confess or ur going to. Sad she’s so selfish. She needs to be left alone for her bf to take care of. Her poor hubby and kids. She’s disgusting
He’s your family too… tell
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I would have a talk with your sister. But don’t accuse her with no proof. Make sure you somehow have proof of her affair.
Let her know if she doesn’t tell the husband, you will along with showing him proof.
I would smack my sister tell her to be honest with her man. If she gives excuses tell her you will do what is best for the children and tell her husband. Then tell the children they can come to you for anything because they do not deserve to be involved in such things. At that point I wouldnt care if my relationship with my sister faded because her kids are more important. My sister knows I would do that to her and knows she can not keep her kids away from me. For the kids sake give her an ultimatum
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Children involved, tell him! They will suffer later if she keeps this going. Do it for them.
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I’d definitely say something especially if it’s bothering the kids. 
maybe not come straight out and say it but give hints and let him figure it out himself
Speak to her about what she’s doing to the kids they shouldn’t have to keep her secret.
Once it starts effecting kids it becomes family business not just what goes on in house stays in house type business any longer …imo !
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That’s absolutely horrific I’m so sorry for your family. Unfortunately, I’d say just stay in your yard. The truth will come out eventually. Karma will come at the right time.
Tell for the sake of the kids me and my sis also be going at it
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Talking to her sister first is not the answer. Her sister will just lie again. Her sister will never be satisfied with whom she is married to. Some people are just that way. But I wouldn’t tell her husband. You will be the outcast if you tell. So let her husband find out for himself.
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Tell the guy the truth he should know and have a say in what is going on or u can keep it quite and the guy will find out on his own. And Hurt him or her probably should just tell the guy. If u tell him might be easier of a process for him to accept it and walk away
No you don’t tell your sisters husband! Are you seriously asking this question? Your loyalty is to your sister first and always. Get your own life and stop worrying about hers.
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Nope.
MIND YOUR OOOWWWNNNN BUSINESS.!
And besides this is YOUR sister​:unamused:
even if you like him more 
*and another thing, you don’t know what the heck they have goin on, just because YOU THINK you know or it “seems like”
, he may have a whole bother boo thang which is WHY your sister does wtf she does.
Not your place. As much as you wanna be a saving grace.!
Save your own honey.
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Back RTF away from this. The odd are that after you tell all, after all the crying and recriminations and everything else…your sister and her hubby patch it up. You said yourself that he found out once and they got back together. You could find yourself in the difficult and heartbreaking position of having both of them angry with you for sticking your nose in their business. Be an impartial shoulder to cry on, but please, please, stay out of this.
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Mind your business its not your place.
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Would you want to find out your partner is cheating on you or would you want all parties that know to keep it from you?
protected a cheater is being just a bad
Family or not
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Where do you people find this Shit ?? General Hospital ??
You mind your business right up until the point it starts effecting the kids. Then its free game. They don’t deserve to be in the middle of that. And to tell your oldest you’re cheating on her dad and to keep it quiet? That’s literally insane.
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I don’t think you should tell the husband but I do think you should have s talk with her kids letting them know they are too young to be keeping grown ups secrets and stressing so they need to do what makes them feel better whether it’s telling or just knowing they won’t be responsible if he finds out!
I would definitely tell him and let the cards fall where they will. They are your family now as well because of her, and she is mentally tearing that family down so that she can be happy with someone else’s husband… The kids being involved is so much worse because they see how the situation is effecting their dad, while also seeing her get to be living happily in her secret world of lies, and can’t say a word. All of this is so heartbreaking and toxic for everyone involved. Please tell him right now so that he can move on and work on getting the kids and himself to a better place mentally. In my opinion, their future health and happiness is worth more than her possibly getting upset at first because you let it all out.
Her idiocy and selfishness is hurting her children. CHILDREN COME FIRST. Tell her husband and I hope her puts her out. Smh 
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If you believe in the theory of karma then you must stand aside and let it do its thing, she has built a giant bomb thats going to go off some day and you need to let it happen, if your brother inlaw resents you and his kids not telling him thats on him, that doesnt mean you cant still be there to help her kids with bouts of guilt and depression
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If someone knew I was being cheated on, i would want to know immediately! He shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t care enough about him to only be with him. I believe you should tell him. The kids deserve better as well. They shouldn’t have to be involved in this lie. They all deserve better.
I would hope someone would tell me 
especially with the kids involved
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Step your sister out 
tell her to sort her shit, at least for the kids 
Id be angry as at her about my niece not like her dad can help her at the moment… lmao or tell your mum
Tell him!! That poor family! Don’t add to the problem
Try to tell anonymously