Do I tell my sister about her boyfriends bad past?

Only tell her what happened to u personally. If you were not there for the rest you don’t speak on rumors

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I get that your scared she will thing your controlling and judging and will not talk to you ect
But if you have someone else who knows him and his past that can go with you to talk to her infront of him and say watch his reaction and then say look I did this coz we may not be close but doesn’t mean I don’t love and care about you as you are my sister after all. X

I would tell her about your own experiences with him and that may discourage her, if not then she herd it from you and not found out from other people

Tell her and what she does with the information is her own baby

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Yeah you should tell her

That’s your sister of course tell her why the fucc would you want her to suffer? Weirdos

you say here that he “used” to lie, cheat, steal…unless you know for certain he is still doing those things, leave this alone unless your sister is a minor.

No the past stays behind you. Don’t dig up old dirt. She needs to see it for herself

If hes no longer doing drugs he may have changed a lot since you knew him.
We all have a past and it may be a better idea to watch for a while rather than jump in and tell her things when he may be a totally different person now .

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Deffo tell her and if she disbelieve you at least you have made her aware of what he’s capable of.

She’s your sis, you tell her. If she doesn’t listen … That is HER choice but least you can say you tried.

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Tell her! I believe if he has genuinely changed he would have told her what he did to you! How can he stand there and look you in the face knowing the horrible things he did to you and not even apologize for his past behavior and tell his new partner? He’s basically lying!

Let sleeping dogs lie

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Not your circus not your monkeys

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Chances are she won’t believe u I would definitely keep out of it

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Mind your business. Keep this info to yourself until the time is right to tell her. She has to find out on her own who he is.

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If you feel your sister could be in danger with him at some point then yes you say something. If not stay out of it could make things worse for you too.

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She’s your sister, go to her straight away and tell her, obviously what he did to those girls and YOU still affects you, and probably those girls, yes people can change and if he has then that’s good but it still dosent change that he hurt you, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who hurt my sister. Don’t care if he’s changed or not, just tell your sister the truth and then take it from there, and maybe tell your parents too, and please if it still affects you please get help, don’t let this affect your life, I have a little sister and if anyone hurt her, well you get me, even if your not that close she’s your sister a bond that can’t be broken no matter what good luck and take care :heart:

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No? You let her be in her own relationship. You knew this person in the past, that doesn’t mean you know him now.

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Truth should be told no matter the circumstances when it comes to matter of feelings and love

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Yes tell her she is your sister but if she does have to find out for herself you opened her eyes to the possibility and to be there for her as her loving sister to pick her up should he not have changed an let’s hope he has.:kissing_heart:

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Sounds like a thing between you and him didnt work out and you might be a bit jealous now…People change mind your own buisness.

It’s the past ,leave it there,unless he’s showing the signs,hell I used for years,now I’m clean, I don’t care what people use to or say now, I’m clean,that was before,this is now

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Turn it into a positive re “he’s changed so much since when I new him, he used to xyz” in a quick passing sentence.

That way you don’t alienate her and you’ve cleared your mind.

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Tell her. If you don’t & she’s hurt by him she will be mad you didn’t tell her. Or worse if he kills her you will feel guilty.

She won’t believe you, people have to find out the hard way. I warned a girl about my ex and she didn’t believe me and now she feels trapped. Karma

l get paid over $197 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18471 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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take her out, connect on a new level…then tell her

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Depends, did you date him? If so I’d tell her that part and how he hurt you but wouldn’t say anything else if it was years ago… People change.
If he’s doing drugs, she would most likely know…

Well obviously you tell her !

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Tell her especially if she has kids.

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You might ask her if she knows about his past and if she wants to know…

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If someone told me what a guy was like I wouldn’t of believed them and it would of possibly made me hate the person who told me. Love is blind in some cases. You have to let her find out for herself no matter how much it hurts her. Just be there to help pick up the pieces if it falls apart.

Well it’s a case if you tell her she will probably tell you to mind your business and still be with him just to spite you if you don’t tell her and she finds out you knew she will blame you for not warning her. Catch 22🤷‍♀️ your in a no win situation.

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Ew tell her, even if she doesn’t heed warning- at least you tried and she can’t say you didn’t warn her but also why would your sister wanna date someone you dated? Gross.

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Mine always tells me if she notices a guy from her past trying to linger into my life and warns me if he’s not good but she doesn’t say anything if he’s not a bad person. I appreciate any info I get about someone to avoid the headaches.

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did you ever wonder, just maybe, he has changed??? Maybe or maybe not, I would say something to him & see if you think he might have changed, You didn’t say this was 5 yrs ago or more or less, Was he a teenager then or a young man in his 20’s? There are so many variables. Peopel sometimes do change for the better & some don’t …so again speak to him, If you speak to your sister & are not close, she just might think you are jealous of their relationship & won’t listen, If you both have the same last name or this man has met your sister when you were going out with him, he just might be aware she is your sister. I personal would speak to him before your sister

Well like you said you used to know talk to him and tell him to tell her or you will

Yes, tell her because if you dont and something happens to her you will regret it. If she doesnt believe you, well then that’s on her.

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I’m sorry I would tell her gently

I get paid over $ 135 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 20192 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
M0re Info. M0re Info. https://GetPaid486.pages.dev/

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Tell her…there always the chance she might not believe you until she finds out for her self but still do it

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If you was really concerned you would of been said something now looks a lil weird…

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I know that you’s all mean well and wanna help,but stay out of it.It’s their problem and they need to sort it out them selves.

If you’re not close then it’s easy. Tell her. She probably already knows tho.

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*How long ago did you know him? How old was he then?
*What exactly makes you afraid he’s on the same path now as he was back then?
People can change.
People can grow up.
People can get themselves and their life together.
I know that we’re often told that’s “rare” but honestly depending on the age of the “transgressions” I’ve found it to not be so rare at all.

I changed a lot in 5 years…I went from having no responsibility at all and just doing what was fun in the moment and damn the consequences to being a single mom of a medically fragile child who had to think out every decision and determine what was best for my child. No more rash or impulsive decisions. No more selfish antics.
The people who knew me when I was 17/18/19 didn’t know the first thing about me at 21/22.
I know others who changed in similar ways both for the same reasons but also for other reasons.

Here’s a few other things to consider:
Why do you want to tell your sister? Is it really to protect her? Or is it to punish him? Those are very different things with very different motives.
If you’re truly looking to protect her, then dig. Dig. Find evidence of his current behavior being the same as that of his past. And present your sister with evidence.
Be ware that she may get angry with you to start (hard truths produce a lot of different emotions including defensiveness).
If you’re just looking to punish him, try stopping yourself and think of a time you’ve done something wrong to someone else. Think of how you as a person have grown. Then consider if you’d want someone to come back years later to punish you. Take that empathy and try getting to know him as the person he is today. If you’re then still concerned that he hasn’t changed…bring it up to them both.

yes its nice of you and it will even help her to decide if he is right for her

You can tell her, doesn’t mean she’ll listen to you. Even if what he’s done to other girls or you is particularly nasty, she might perceive it as jealousy on your part and think you’re lying so you can swoop in on him. She might just have to learn on her own, as unfortunate as that is. Maybe he had realized he had been wrong and he has changed and you just don’t know about. Does she tell you things about him and what he does that are concerning to you in regards to his past? If so bring it up. But again, it’s ultimately her decision to leave him or not.

She’s your sister and you wouldn’t wanna see her hurt or get mixed up in his behaviour or bad decisions . I’d tell her.

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NOPE most times they don’t listen anyway. Where do you think the saying Live and Learn comes from, Or I Told You So…

Yes tell her…and if there are others who can tell her their experiences that would be a fair warning…if he has rehabilitated and it is possible he’s sincere, then his actions will be enough :wink:

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It depends on what you means as “bad things” if you mean the stealing, lying and drugs are the bad things he does, mind your business. People change all the time. If you mean anything more than that, like abuse, then absolutely tell her. But only then, don’t cause problems for someone just because they lived a past when they were younger, everyone has.

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Just say, "I used to know your boyfriend and hopefully he’s changed since then.

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If you don’t have a good relationship, then reach out to someone who does have a good relationship with her and let them tell her.

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Honestly stay out of it. They are adults yes she can learn the hard way. She probably wouldn’t listen to you anyways

Tell her but be prepared for her to not believe you. But still tell her anyway

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You can tell her, doesn’t mean she’ll listen to you. Even if what he’s done to other girls or you is particularly nasty, she might perceive it as jealousy on your part and think you’re lying so you can swoop in on him. She might just have to learn on her own, as unfortunate as that is. Maybe he had realized he had been wrong and he has changed and you just don’t know about. Does she tell you things about him and what he does that are concerning to you in regards to his past? If so bring it up. But again, it’s ultimately her decision to leave him or not.

I think she should know, but because drugs were involved … tread lightly because the person whos on drugs is an entirely different person sober. And the thing is, you dont know if he’s in recovery or not. He very well could be and be an entirely different person… or maybe not … so tread lightly.

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I get paid over $ 135 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 21146 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
M0re Info. M0re Info. https://GetPaid507.pages.dev/

I think you need to let the past be the past. You can’t live there. You have no idea what he’s like today just bc you used to know him. Ppl can change ppl can grow. Now if you were to find out that he is doing any of that right now and you have hard proof of it then yes tell her but otherwise leave it. You say you’re not close to your sister we’ll do you think you’ll be if you say something and don’t know if he’s doing any of it now let alone have any proof of it. Mind yourself unless you have current proof that he’s still doing it.

Girl wtf u should’ve told her everything u knew the moment u saw her with him. U sure she’s ur sister Bc ur not acting like it like how is this even a question

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Yes tell her. Men do change for the right woman but she needs to be warned.

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I’m in recovery and work in recovery. Tons of people steal, lie and do drugs and overcome it. Unless you have proof, stay out of it.

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i would stay out of it , its really one of your business yes she maybe your sister and all , and u want to protect her and all , but this is her problem right now not yours - i know sounds mean ,but it is true

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She is your sister. Of course you tell her. What she does with the information is on her

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Tell her. if he has not changed…then at least u can tell her I told u so" :person_shrugging:

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My boyfriend used to gang bang and sell drugs. People do change.

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Tell her to be prepared to be changed forever more, lose her innocence and peace, and never feel the same way again. And if that will work for her so be it. Unfortunately, you have let some people bump their own head and see for theirselve.

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Tell her, always tell her. You don’t want to regret it later… Also regardless of how close you are or not “sisters before misters”. I’d loss my s**t if I didn’t warn my sister and she ended up getting hurt…

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Wow. Maybe ask her how he treats her and others NOW before bringing up past

Before going and ruining her relationship maybe think about the fact that your experience is not hers. Does she show signs of mistreatment? There are many people in this world that have lied, stolen, and done drugs and have turned their lives around.

Close or not,give her everything you know. We gotta look out for each other. They will pretend!!! Don’t let her be a victim if she believes you or not, you did what you had to. And when and if she realizes she will thank you

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I personally wouldn’t tell her only because one she could possibly think your jealous since it seems like that is someone you was with at one point an time two you never know if this man has changed or not he could be a completely different person with your sister and three you already stated your not close with your sister so I highly doubt she’s going to believe what you say and it could make her resent you I would just let I’d be unless you have actual proof he is doing her wrong

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I’d tell her just in case the honey moon phase ends and he hurts her and let her know if that happens you will be there for her. I have a similar story. When I was married to my ex we went to his families Christmas party at his aunts house. His uncle showed up and his SO noticed that the aunts daughter had someone there that beat the crap out of her daughter and put her daughter in the hospital. This lady wouldn’t tell anyone about it just told his uncle she wanted to leave and couldn’t be at the party. My ex was very close to his uncle so I asked until he told me why they left like that. He finally told me. I struggled knowing this so I eventually took his aunt and uncle to a empty room and told them what their future son in law did. They were understanding and thanked me for letting them know. Months past. They were married. They got a house together. One day he went into a rage and she was trapped in the bathroom. She was able to call her parents and they ran to her and took her home with them. Because I told them what he had done in the past and he showed he had not changed they helped her with her divorce and she got away from him. This girl now has three children and married to a decent man now. I feel like I at least kept her from multiple hospital visits all because I shared the story I did.

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tell her; he’s likely the same…

Ima say mind your business unless you think he’s going to physically harm her. You said y’all aren’t close, For all you know she knows already. You don’t know how their relationship is. Your thoughts of him “going down the same path” are completely unfounded and have 0 reasoning. Unless you’re leaving things out here. You “knew him in the past” meaning you haven’t had contact with him in years. So you don’t “know” him anymore.

I’d honestly just send her a brief warning - “hey I just want you to know given what I had experienced from knowing xx previously. He use to do all of this I hope he’s changed but I just wanted to give you a heads up to look out for since I am just worried about you. If you want to know more feel free to ask questions, other then that I won’t say another word”

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Tell her. Especially if there’s personal experience !

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Definitely tell what he did to you

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If you experienced something bad, I think you should tell your sister so she is aware of a possibility of something happening to her.

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Just because he used to steal, lie and do.drugs doesn’t mean he still does. I would talk to your sister and see how he is treating her. I would tell her about his past. He may have already told her about his past. I would warn her just in case he hasn’t changed.

WTF YOU TELL HER!!! Why would you let her find out the hard way.

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Tell your sibling everything you know

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You need to tell her

Tell her! That’s your sister

I get paid over $ 145 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 18578 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
M0re Info. M0re Info. https://GetPaid566.pages.dev/

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Tell her wtf where’s the question

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Why mention his pass? I mean if this stuff happened a couple years ago and he’s currently doing nothing now then why even say anything? I mean if he’s treating her good and being faithful then why cause issues for? I mean my fiancé did drugs way before we got together but he better his life and stopped using drugs I don’t hold that against him because it happened before we met and he stop doing bad things. People make mistakes in life some learn and don’t ever do it again then we have people didn’t learn from bad behavior and still do it. But I feel like it’s not your place to involve yourself into their relationship that’s only gonna lead to issues even when you stated y’all aren’t close could possibly push you away even more trying to involve yourself in there relationship

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Have someone else tell her. She probably won’t believe it coming from you.

Tell her. What she does with that info is her problem.
If you aren’t close, you won’t be losing anything.
If you do lose her, she’ll either learn the hard way or she’ll fall into his ways.
Not your problem.

Definitely tell her🤷‍♀️

She’s your sister you need to tell her

Maybe he already told her? It could very well be is his past (and not present) as you said. We all have a past, and I would not want someone to define me by mine especially because I did all those things once too.

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Oh my heavens why would you NOT tell her !!

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If it’s his past why does it matter. That may not be who he is now

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His past isn’t who he is now. Leave him alone

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I have mixed feelings on this… are we talking 10+ years ago past or like 6 months ago?

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Just dealt with something similar but i just kept my mouth shut because chances are they wont believe you and no telling what’s already been said

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You tell him, Touch her & your post will catch up to you. :woman_shrugging:
If he has victims, all of you should file police reports, immediately. Regardless of time passed.
Then, you generically warn her.

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If he’s been with u tell her.

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