Do partners get mad over this?

Do partners get mad if they’re significant other gets off of a 12 hour shift and sleeps 10 hours on their first night off?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do partners get mad over this?

I certainly hope not :thinking:

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Ones that aren’t thinking of you and what you’ve been through do. Every BODY is different and will react to different levels of work differently. If that was hard on you and your body needed 10 hours of work then that’s how it is. They need to be more understanding and caring of your situation. It also takes a while to get a groove going. It can be so hard to change routine and let go of more time with your partner. If they really care about your health though they’ll find a way through it without making you feel bad.

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I mean he/she just worked a 12 hour shift, have no reason to be mad

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Hell no. My husband works nights and he sleeps all day since he goes in at 7pm or 11pm. I don’t give one care if he sleeps the two days he’s off either. My life goes on or I’m in bed with him.

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normal spouses don’t

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Umm no!! My husband works 12 hours plus has to drive a hour and 15 mins to get home from work. If he wants to sleep for 10 hours so be it. The man is tired from working to provide for our family. But that’s just me.

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it’s ludicrous to think a normal person wouldn’t sleep 8-10 hours a day, period. 12 hour shifts are brutal. now, a person working 12 hour days should reasonably be able to stay awake at home for another 4 hours before “going to bed” but……sleeping 8-10 hours isn’t out of the question.

My S/O doesn’t. Well at least he understands, he works 16 hours plus overtime. He encourages me to sleep as much as I can

They shouldn’t :thinking: the most I’ve worked at 1 time is 9 hours, my bf made me dinner, ran me a bath with some wine and then tucked me into bed ( he did wake me up about 2am for :eggplant: when he came to bed) but then we both slept again so I was fine with that! :rofl:

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They shouldn’t if they care about their partner.

Absolutely not.
My hubby works in the elements, and I BEG him to sleep! The more sleep he gets, the safer he is at work.

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He’s sleeping, let him rest.

Me and my fiance have both worked 12 hrs and we would allow each other to sleep until or bodies were well rested,
unless a work day then we would wake each other up as well. And my fiance would run me a bubble bath on my days because we worked 2 am shifts and 2 pm shifts and it was very sweet of him to do it

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Mine doesn’t. I don’t either. We usually end up going to sleep together and sleeping as long as our bodies need.

I worked 12 hour shifts and it was brutal. I needed ten hours of sleep definitely.

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Well no because they just worked 12 hours and are tired. Lol duh.

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No they’re sleeping because they’re tired. Why is this a question

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Depends, sometimes I haven’t slept in over 24 hours because our son hasn’t slept (special needs) and I need at least a nap to be able to continue functioning and taking care of the kids so it can be a little aggravating see someone sleep 10+ hours when I haven’t had any sleep in over 24 hours and then I still have to go on and continue doing everything without sleep another day.

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I get up set when my husband trys to sleep all day on his day off because I don’t get no help with the kids and I have 3 currently the 4th one is on his way

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They usually get mad if you don’t make any time for them. However typically there’s really not that much of a problem with you getting sleep, everyone needs some rest.

I used to work 12 hour shifts 4 days a week and then come home and make dinner, take care of my kids, clean, etc. I barely get 4 hours of sleep. I would never get 10 hours. So I can’t even relate. However, when my husband used to do snow removal for 2-3 days straight, I had no problem with him coming home and sleeping as long as he wanted to.

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Missing your partner and being excited to see them on their first night off is expected. But having understanding is expected too. Hopefully they will realize not everything is about them. You were out providing, and need rest. Life is tough right now.

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I remember my ex use to get mad at my sleep schedule and i never understood it at all. How can you be mad at someone for how they sleep? I mean if they arent doing anything when they are awake to help wether it be providing with a job, taking care of kids or cleaning home then yes i get that. I dont get it though if they are doing what they are suppose to be doing.
I have trouble going to bed at night and sometimes sleep in… i use to hear how i didnt wanna sleep with person or i slept all day and was lazy… but honestly were all grown and can sleep whenever we want as long as we are taking care of what we need to. Thank goodness my hubby isn’t like that! I sleep when im tired and wake when i need to or sleep in if i want without guilt

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No if he’s working I let him get all the rest he can… But yes when there are times that he is literally just home with us like for a whole week and no work to go to that’s when I demand help with the household chores. :relaxed:

I wouldn’t want to stay up and fight about it

Never, Working 12 hours is alot

Definitely not, my husband used to work night shifts all the time and I’m his first day off he would try to stay awake all day so he can spend time with the kids and I but other times he would only sleep for maybe 5-6 hours. He hated not being able to see us. It’s hard but that what happens when night shift calls.

I get mad at myself for it

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No. That would be expected.

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My husband works 4 6am-6pm shifts… has 4 days off and then goes back to 4 days of 6pm to 6am…. So he goes from nights to days every other week… it’s shit… I just had twins 3 months ago we have two other kids as well… I let him get the sleep he needs especially his first day off because I know I’ll get my time to sleep when he stays up all night since he slept all day

I can’t speak for anyone else. But i think it’s what ever you feel you need to do. I worked 4a.m-4p.m Monday-Friday for years and still had to come home cook supper and do school work with a kid, so I’d be pissed off if my partner tried to say anything to me about being tired sheet working a 8hr job. I also don’t see a reason to sleep 10 hrs after working a simple 12 hr shift.

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Mine gets upset because I let him sleep until he wakes up on his own. He will fight it like there’s no tomorrow. I have insomnia so I know what it’s like to be tired and not be able to sleep. Wouldn’t do that to him. He can enjoy it for the both of us. :grin:

Hubby use to get upset but he now understands and lets me rest

Uh no. My husband works 6 days a week sometimes over 12 hrs a day. I’d be one inconsiderate AF partner if I bitched at him for sleeping. I actually get mad at him for not sleeping & not getting enough rest specially on his day off. IDC if I’m pregnant with a 4yr old I can handle it because I know that his job is very hard & although I work my job isn’t as demanding as his is.

Absolutely not. That would be incredibly selfish.

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You bet let me sleep or we all gonna be mad.

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I’m gathering from your question that your partner works a 12 hour night shift. I used to work nights. I can tell you that it’s murder on your body. No matter how much sleep you get, it never seems like it’s enough. I know there are some people who can do it and like it fine. But I did it for awhile and it messed me up bad. I couldn’t sleep through the day very well. I never got the housework done that I wanted to. It was awful. And when I got a night off… yes I could sleep 10 hours easily. And I really needed the sleep. I would just start to feel like a human being again and it would be time to go back to work. I know they say to stay on night shift even on your nights off. I tried that. It didn’t help. Besides, I had kids and I had to stay awake in the daytime to spend time with them. Plus do housework. So I felt like hell. Please don’t blow up at your partner for sleeping 10 hours. They may be coming to the end of their ability to work night shift like I did. I got to the point where I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was getting physically ill.

No let them rest!!! Christ there working not partying. all the working class would like more family time but bills don’t pay themselves. Gotta find a balance and take care of each other. It’s summer it’s hot in most places the heat alone will exhaust a person.

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If you don’t have kids then cool but if you do get your ass up.

Yes they do but they shouldn’t! Working that long is hard no matter what you do.

Shoot, I work 14-16 hours, 5 days a week, and get 5 hours of sleep a night. What is this 10 hours you speak of?

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Nah a decent sleep will set him up for a better mood and time with you and family

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Nope. He needs to catch up. Otherwise it will cause medical problems. You’d be surprised what little sleep dies to the brain and other organs.

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I work overnight 12s and get home about 8am and my husband gripes if I sleep past noon. Depends on the person I guess

During lockdown i had to do 6 12 hour nights in a row when i had my day off i was so tired yes i did sleep like 14-16 hours they take their toll

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Why the hell would you be mad? My partner works 12 hour shifts and works bloody hard. We don’t live together but he will cook,clean,look after my little one if need be if I’m working, do any DIY jobs I need doing. He’s constantly on the go…I’d leave him in bed until he decides to wake. Appreciate the fact that your partner is a hard worker and don’t nag him…nothing worse

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Eh no! My other half work 8 hours and could sleep for 12 hours after each one if we didn’t have kids

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Me and my husband both work 12 hour shifts. Heck no I wouldn’t get mad at him for sleeping and he doesn’t get mad at me for sleeping.

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If a person works like this they need proper sleep. If the other person doesnt.get this then they need to work this type of shift and see that it’s very exhausting both physically and mentally.

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Depends !!! If they both work , if they have kids together etc . I do think that someone who works that much deserves to rest to be able to keeping doing it.
But as I said, depends on the circumstances, if they both works and have kids they need to be organize because working a 8 hours shift to get home to deal with the kids , dinner , homework , housework is also hard , consuming and extremely exhausted and can’t be taken care by only one ( mostly the woman ) they need to make a schedule that allows them to rest the necessary, help each other and spend time together

No I just get jealous. My daughter wake’s me up at 4am, just to tell me it’s 4 am

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Omg, how awful if he is being gone off on for it.

In most cases no. I can see a few examples of times it would. But those are very specific and would take to long to type out.

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I do shifts like that.
My partner lets me sleep as much as I need.

What a weird thing to be mad about

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No. Night shift sucks. Try it.

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My partner and I work normal 8 hour days and don’t get mad at each other for being tired? And i can assure you that man is more tired than we are, I used to work 6 12 hour days a week and it’s actual torture.
I can understand you probably need help with things and this may add a huge inconvenience to the house, maybe some compromise on how to make it work better for both, but you can’t pour from an empty cup you should BOTH be getting the rest you need. If him sleeping is your biggest problem you’re lucky, he could be out there not coming home

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Why would they get mad?? The normal sleep hours are 8… U worked extra - u sleep extra… But who gets mad over sleeping anyways? This is so weird lol

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I raised 4 children , on practically nothing , so quit complaining , everyone

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I worked at the school custodian came home made supper and worked bardending until 3:00 and still had time to feed my Kids and clean my house , I must of Lots of energy back then Lol

My ex worked One week , away and one week at home, ,try that it sucked

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Only if they’re toxic. The worker needs to sleep.

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Nah dude. What a petty thing.

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Why do people act as if working endless hours, not resting properly and being exhausted is something to be proud of? Why do people glorify this life? Why do people bring up what life used to be as if this is something to look forward to in order to have a reason to feel like ones frustrations are not justified? I used to do this and be proud of it but back then I was ore concerned about what I could accomplish and thought I was motivation others when all I did was make those around me feel like failures. It’s not all people make it out to be. It’s not what I wish for myself or anyone else. It’s not something to be proud of. It’s silly to think it’s this is a goal. Set your sights on your marriages, your children and work together. Forgive each other and be patient with each other. Don’t try to carry it all on your own and especially don’t parade your hard work to others to show it can be done. It’s not fair to the children and especially to a marriage when we can barely keep our heads above water. Be realistic.

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I work 11 hr shifts I come home clean and help with my kids put them to bed then I usually go to sleep my self. I dunno what world people live in but I wish I was there. I get on average 5 hrs of sleep a night if I’m lucky sometimes on my days off I pass out after I do everything that needs to be done for an hour or two. But even that is rare.

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Obviously not if they understand the word partner

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I worked a third shift job for a short time. That was almost 10 years ago and my sleep schedule is still off! Let him sleep!

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My partner works 8 hour shifts M-F and on Friday nights into Saturday morning he sleeps anywhere between 10-12 hours. I don’t get mad at him. He’s tired. I let him rest.

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People get upset over their partner’s sleeping habits? I didn’t know I could do that. Thanks.

My husband works in construction. He’s outside, 20+ stories in the air, in all kinds of weather. He leaves home at 4am, usually has anywhere between a 2-4+ hour drive to the job site, works all day, 2-4+ hour drive back home. Sometimes he comes home, eats dinner, showers, spends time with me and the kids until 9-10pm. Sometimes he will come home, eat, shower and go to bed. Sometimes he comes home and goes straight to bed. On weekends, he’s never usually up before 11am and even when he tells me to get him up early, I don’t, because I know he needs the rest and he’s exhausted.

So, your partner getting mad about you being exhausted after a long day and sleeping for 10 hours is some baby back bullshit. Tell them to grow tf up.

No they need to sleep so let them sleep

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No. And if they do send them to the curb

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l get paid over $170 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $19628 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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Well that depends. Are there kids and other stuff to be tended to? Get your 8 hours and then do what you’re supposed to do.

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Personally, if you left absolutely no time to talk to your partner between work and after, yeah I’d be pissed. Im not here for whenever it’s convenient for you. It’s a relationship, sometimes we do things for the other throughout the day, when not being together.
& ignoring your partner all day long, then no message, and back to sleep, yeah, you’d be single :joy: I find that completely disrespectful and I wouldn’t sit around for it

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My husband works 3 12 hour night shifts over the weekend. (6p-6a) we do breakfast as a family together then he lays down and he gets up in time to have dinner together before he leaves. On his first day off he normally sleeps 8-10 hours but it doesn’t bother me. But we always make sure we have time together every day even if it’s just meal times

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I bet you are the partner not working but complaining. Let them sleep ! 12 hour shifts are rough.

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Wow. Why would you get mad. You should be happy. Now your parent can rest. Bitch if your parent doesn’t work.

Most spouses do not. I would be grateful my partner allowed me to sleep or that my partner got enough rest after long shifts.
Its truly exhausting and hard on your body doing shifts like that!!

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Mad, no! Disappointed, maybe? I get wanting to spend time with your significant other, but sleep is a critical function that we all need to survive. I don’t see the issue.

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My husband works 12 hour shifts from 7pm to 7am and he comes homes and sleeps until 3 the latest. If he slept any later or for 10 hours yes that would bother me. But luckily he doesn’t want to miss out on a whole day himself so it works out. I’d talk to your partner about how you feel.

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In my mom groups I see women complain about how their husbands who are gone working up to two or three weeks at a time (but pays all the bills) are too tired to help with the kids when they’re home.

Make sure this is the type of stuff that is discussed before building a life with someone who is on the road a lot

If y’all don’t have kids, be happy that you are able to discover what does or doesn’t work early

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My husband does upto 5 shifts of 12hours plus commute so NO if he needs sleep then im good with that, id not want him to get ill

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12hr shift plus half hour unpaid lunch break…that’s 12.5 hrs at work…and don’t forget travel time…yes 12hr shifts are brutal

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Why complain let ur partner rest for goodness sake

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They shouldn’t… 12 hour shifts are super hard on our bodies.
Sleeping is a basic human need… if someone can’t respect that after a 12 Hr shift? :v:t4::wave:t3:

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What exactly is their line of work? Nurse at the ER where for 12 straight hours it’s a constant stream of patients with no chance to catch your breath or let alone maybe even finish their lunch before the next code is called and they have to rush to try and save a dying patient? Are they on a construction crew that they have to work doubles in order to get the project done on time, or out fixing a road all night to make sure it’s drivable the next morning? Are they at an Amazon packaging facility where I’ve at least heard stories of horrible working conditions? Do they just work overnights stocking shelves at Walmart? I mean I would need more information about what work they do and how often they are working a 12hr to really make much of a judgement. But if my husband came home from a 12hr shift and he needed his sleep not to just recharge physically, but mentally I would not be mad.

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My husband works from 8:30pm-7:30am (truck driver) just in time for me to take our three kids to school, then come and tend to daily routine and our 1 year old. I try to make my husband sleep and he refuses so he can help out during the day. But I wish he would rest before work again at night. Everyone is different.

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If you are complaining at your partner after a 12 hr shift, you need to work a 12 hour shift and see what it’s like

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This comments are assuming she’s the mad one not the other way around why?

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We both work 2 jobs we never really see each other during week but we always go on alot of vacations throughout the year and take random days off together. If he has a day off and wants to spend it sleeping that’s fine and if I do the same he doesn’t care. We r also raising our 4 kidd in a giant tribe ( family members) so we don’t worry about anyone getting burnt out taking care of kids there is 6 other adults and like 4 older teens near by ready to help

No way on earth I’d complain about that! Hubby and I drive and 11 hour days are the norm. Drive for 11, off for 10, repeat… for 2 months… sleep when you’re off. We both beg one another to sleep when we’re off, even if it means we’re alone when we’re driving. It’s simple consideration and caring to let your sig other sleep when they need it.

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Mine works 10 hour shifts and ill let him take anywhere from 1 hour naps to 4 hours when he comes home :joy: wake him up to eat and then if he wants we can go to bed. And let him sleep in on weekends if I can keep the kids quiet enough.

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I wouldn’t say mad, I’d be a bit sad cuz I miss him lol maybe a bit frustrated cuz we have 2 kids and I want sleep too! :joy::skull:

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Sometimes. But usually my husband makes a plan with me about when he’s going to sleep and when he will be ready to play with the kids and stuff. My husband used to work 12 hour shifts all time but he would always make sure to plan out some family time too so we knew what to expect and wouldn’t be upset. I think communication is the biggest thing, if you know what to expect you’re less likely to be upset by it.

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I’m guessing based on your a question that you’re a stay at home mom. Why don’t you let him quit his job, and you go get a job at Amazon. You can work four days in a row 10 hours each day, mandatory overtime where you will work five days a week 12 hours a day on Prime days and holidays, and then come back here and ask that question again

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