Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do you force your child to go to their grandparents? - Mamas Uncut
I don’t force it as the kids like to go. My oldest is autistic and sometimes he refuses to go, and he has to due to my work and things but generally it doesn’t happen often. X
My outlaws were/are nasty, I would never force my kids to go there. They are all older now and only visit that set of grandparents a couple of times a year, never made to feel welcome, moaned at the whole time they are there. Children only want to go visit people that make them feel welcome etc . I loved spending time with my kids, still do, they grow up so fast one minute they are babies, the next in their 20’s and 30’s 
. Keep her with you if that’s what she wants, enjoy your weekends together xxx
1 Like
I’ve never had to ‘force it’ my kids love their Granny and she’s been there since day 1. Sleepovers at their Granny’s is their favourite 
My mum has always been a massive part of their lives so they don’t feel like she’s a stranger, they feel like they are at their 2nd home.
5 Likes
I dont force it. He loves being around my parents, to the point myself and daddy don’t exist when they are around. He had a sleepover with them from around 10 weeks old. My mum has him every Friday whether that is morning or afternoon, and sometimes collects him from nursery if my other half isn’t around. I’d never just drop him round there without them asking to see him or if I have something on.
1 Like
I would never force them but quite often if i have something on, i just tell them they are going to nans ect
It’s honestly only about once every 2 months or so. Like my kids haven’t stayed away since May i don’t think.
If the grandparents ask then I’ll definitely see if they would like to go but i generally only send them if i have something on
I dont like to force my kid to associate with anyone, especially if not worthy and they just are not worthy
My daughter is 9 and even now she asks for us to stay too 
we usually don’t because she knows if we are away she gets extra treats 
my youngest is 2 and he goes as well. It’s not every weekend maybe every month or 2 they have a sleep over so we can go to cinema and a meal but if they didn’t want to stay I wouldn’t force the issue. We used to just leave her a few hours before she started staying or they would come to our hours fo put her to bed and would watch tv until we got back
My little one loves going to nannie and grandads
I ask him and say do you want to go sees and stay at nannies and he’ll go yeah or no (he’s 3) but tbh he prefers been with his grandad than me as he’s such a grandads boy and it’s nice having a few days apart as makes me appreciate mine and little ones fine together even more (full time mum due to little ones medical problems) x
1 Like
Nope never forced… And my 2 have only stayed away from home with nanny twice and my eldest is nearly 9 x
I’ve never forced it if my kids are asked which is very rare & they don’t want to go or only want too if I’m going il never force them 
As a single mum I’ve had to ‘force’ my 3 year old to my mums when I’ve had to go places he can’t come, the first couple of times he cried for 5 minutes or so before settling but now when I take him there he’s fine and loves it and is more than happy to stay there without me 
1 Like
I don’t force it, he is two and loves his grandparents dearly, he is always so excited to see them.
My girls love going to grandma and grandpa’s… they are out in the veggie garden digging up worms, moving the lawns on the ride on (with grandpa) gardening, colouring in…
It’s not forced.
And they are parents to my ex father in law so I think we are very privileged that they still want to be apart of our girls lives and my girls love them dearly. They have been around sence my husband was like 2 I think (so 25ish years)
3 Likes
No, I don’t force it
1 Like
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do you force your child to go to their grandparents? - Mamas Uncut
Everybody’s grandparents aren’t like that… that was a hard reality for me as a parent. I’ve always seen grandparents that were overjoyed to keep grandkids and they expected too but every family doesn’t work that way.
No. My kids are with me 24/7 unless my husband and I decide to go on a date just the two of us. Then we ask my husband’s mom and grandmother to watch them
5 Likes
My parents take my baby 2 days a week while I’m at work and my husband gets her the other 3 (he works opposite shift from me). She absolutely loves her grandparents and gets so excited when she finds out that’s where we are going, so I don’t ever have to force it. I work for a school though so my work schedule is off by 3 most days and then I get the summers so when I’m not working I soak in all the time I can, but yeah. My parents asked for those 2 days with her (she’s their first grand baby) and it gives my husband a break so I am so glad she adores my parents as much as she does 
My mother has seen my kiddos 5 times in 6 months 2x I paid her to babysit one time she had work in the area and didn’t want to pay for a motel and once was a birthday. My kiddos also haven’t seen my husband’s mom since October so I feel like it’s okay for them to spend less time with their grandparents then most but I also RARELY leave my kids with anyone
I’m a grandma and every week I ask my granddaughter 's mom if I can have her Saturday and she’s never said, “no.” I’m very grateful for that because my son didn’t treat that poor girl well at all and she could’ve just cut me out of my baby’s life. I cannot imagine . . .
14 Likes
I never force my kids. My oldest is 5 and my parents helped me raise him for the first few years of his life so he basicalky begs to go there and they ask for him. My youngest is 15 months and has only spent one night with my parents as its easier for them to handle my oldest until my youngest is old enougb and more independent. They love their meme and papa.
6 Likes
I’m a SAHM and my kids love their Nana/Papa and being at their house because they have put their time into my kids, we do weekly visits for a couple hours and extras sometimes, overnights every couple months. My kids are 2 and 4 and I suspect will always love being at their Nana/Papa’s house. Their other grandparents love them and send them stuff but live far away and haven’t seen them in a long time, so they definitely wouldn’t be comfortable there. Eventually we want to move back closer and I know they won’t have the same relationship but we will do our best to do that over time.
3 Likes
Short of the first 8 weeks of covid last year, my mom has seen my almost 4 year old pretty much every weekend of his life (give or take a few here and there). He loves going to her house and is perfectly fine being left with her.
We bought the house next door to my in laws last fall so he sees them usually a few times a week even if it’s just for a couple minutes.
It’s no big thing for us to drop him off with either set of grandparents for a couple hours or even the occasional overnight stay.
2 Likes
My mom lives 20 mins away and his toys are there, baby chair to eat, and grandma spoils him feeds him whatever he wants. He doesn’t like to sleep anywhere but his crib but he’ll sleep w her on her bed. It depends on the bond you allow them to grow. I’m very close to my mom too. He’s very close to her too. My nieces would come stay w me or my other sister as they got older. It all depends on their comfort level. Some kids are home bodies too
2 Likes
I’ve never had to force my son. He wanted to be with her for the summer and she wants him to stay even longer than that. I guess I’m the problem because I want him to be there but I don’t want to be without him that long. Lol They have always had one of the best relationships even though she’s 1,500 miles away!! On a daily he will call her and sit on Duo while he plays the game and she would be watching her show or cooking/cleaning. But imo if she doesn’t want to go please don’t force her. Try and ask her why she doesn’t want to go without you. It may not be serious but you never know til you ask. Good luck mama.
2 Likes
I intentionally have my granddaughter every weekend if not Saturday and Sunday. I get one day. I work 50 hour weeks and her mom is a sah mom. So I get my time and give her mom a break
25 Likes
My daughter is a major mommas girl. She hates spending the night anywhere without me. She’s the same way. She will ask if I’m coming to the grandparents and she’s 10. Lol Her dad and I are separated and she will every once in a while spend the night with him but most of the time she will tell him no. The only place she likes to stay is with one friend who has two girls her age that are her friends and my friend was her daycare teacher for years also so she loves her.
My oldest 3 next month loves going to her grandparents. They are separated so we alternate weeks. My mum works every 2nd weekend, so she goes to either house alternating who’s house it is, one fortnight will be grandma’s house and the next fortnight will be poppy’s. That way we still have all week for family time and then we get a break and she gets to spend time with the grandparents.
Maybe she doesn’t want to have sleepovers at the moment, could try her being there for a few hours or they could go out to the movies or lunch or something to give you that little bit of a break to relax
Xx
My.kids have been with their grandparents since day 1 they have been so much a part of their lives that they always are excited to go there (1 day a week because they’re retired) my husband’s mom is different she’s struggled so much with physical problems they havent spent as much time with her they don’t necessarily want to go there but when we visit together they’re happy they went
Not at all. I think if they want to they can, if not maybe go with them? My babe is 12 and she loves the break from her uncool parents 
which is fine bc let’s be honest a break is good for the heart?! (other babe just turned one so she doesn’t go without me or dada her)
I also have a 4 year old daughter. I work full time and her dad and I aren’t together. We work different shifts so we each have her half the day then every other weekend. No way I’d let her just go stay the weekend anywhere if it’s my weekend lol. I’m sad enough about her starting preschool this year and that taking more time away lol.
2 Likes
I would never force but it sounds like you honestly would love if they would be that way with you and your child. I think if you need a break and they want to spend some time with her, why not?
5 Likes
I had my kids full time. Worked full time. They were in daycare during the week. Mine have gone to stay with my parents once every weekend since they were a couple months old. My parents loved it. My kids are close with them. It teaches them to be away from you. And it gave me a little alone time too. I think every parent needs some time to recharge. It doesn’t me you don’t want to be with them. It helps you be even better when you are together. If ur struggling, mentally, physically, fatigue, illness, stress, you’re no good if you don’t take a break. 
My twins just turned 3 (they were born at 24 weeks so adjusted they are 2.8 months). They have never spent a night away from except during their nicu stay. Twin b also was hospitalized 3 different times and dad stayed with him at night, while I stayed home with twin a. The most grandparents have ever watched them, was for 3 hours and it was because I had doctors appt that I absolutely couldn’t miss. They haven’t been babysat by anybody in over 2 years. Their dad watches them sometimes, but it’s not babysitting obviously because he’s their dad. Even that is very rare. I’m a sahm. I don’t trust my mil to follow my rules, as she doesn’t on front of my face. My parents I would let stay at my house for the night and watch them, but there hasn’t been a reason to do so. My twin b has autism so he wouldn’t do well in another house or bed besides his, hence why they would come to my house. I watched my boys almost die more times then I like to remember, I had to leave them every night for almost 105 days while they were in the nicu, the last 2 weeks of their stay the nicu allowed me to sleep their. I’ve spent enough nights away from them, I don’t need to again unless I absolutely have to, as in I have no choice.
I don’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do. It helps them to establish and keep boundaries once they are older. If they don’t want to go see someone and you make them, then that isn’t good for the kid because their boundaries are getting pushed to the side.
9 Likes
My child is with a family member during working hours. Sometimes that’s my grandma, most of the time it’s my sister. My daughter LOVES spending time with them. But she does not want to spend extra time with them… she asks to come home with me and asks to spend time with me.
I don’t leave her on weekends because I want to spend time with her that isn’t rushing out the door in the mornings or tired from work and getting ready for the next day. But I have left her a handful of times overnight on a Saturday. Literally maybe 5 times in almost 3 years though.
She goes Sunday mornings to church with my grandmother because she asks to go.
So if I want to grocery shop or do anything alone I do it during church hours.
My kids love going to there grandparents and would rather go there then daycare they go there for a couple hours one day a week so I can work from home and clean the house also. Then we go for dinner on a Sunday. We have a great relationship with them.
They’ll be sleeping over this weekend so hubby and I can get away for some much needed one on one time.
1 Like
I have a almost 4 year old… and she asks to go to my parents house… and calls my dad to come get her… I work 40+ hours during the week… so I have to force her to stay home with me. Lbvs
4 Likes
Thats probably people that have a good relationship with parents. I love mine but I never had a great relationship with them. They don’t like being with my kids more than a day and I had to respect that.
Although I do understand the parents that have their mom or dad help with babysitting to help their kids save expenses. Its a blessing to have that.
It really depends on people’s circumstances on why the grandparents are in the picture
5 Likes
I babysit Mon-Fri. my grand daughter and she often asks to spend the night. I let her stay with me anytime she ask and her parents say okay. She is 3 and I love all the time I get with her. I would never force her. Hopefully she always stays close to me.
My kiddos love both sets of grandparents thank goodness. They all make better grandparents then they did actual parents. But I think that’s usually the “norm”
When my husband got out of the military and we moved back home, my mom retired from her job to be a stay at home grandma to my kids. So my kids spend a good deal of time with their grandparents. My husband and I both work crazy medical field hours so my parents help us out tremendously. However, my kids will NEVER be left in the care of my husband’s family, and that is his choice.
I don’t have to force my kids to go to their grandparents because they love going there. Their grandparents spoil them and make it fun to be there. I think many grandparents enjoy that time with their grandkids and the relationship forms naturally.
My kids have always said if they want to spend the night with grandma and grandpa. Sometimes the grandparents would call and ask if they wanted to spend the night. My oldest has always been great at going and spending the night but my youngest son when it’s bed time he wants his bed and only his bed. He’s 15 and he still would rather sleep in his bed at home over spending the night with anyone.
1 Like
I have a very close relationship with both my.in laws and parents. I don’t have to force my kids to see their grandparents, never have. Idk , I always thought most kids loved and wanted to visit their grandparents I sure did!!! I got away with everything at grandmas and was spoiled rotten!! Now, we’ve live 12 plus hrs away from both sets of grandparents , we as parents both work so, my 3 kids didn’t grow up clingy. They werre use to being at Daycare and school so, dropping them off wasn’t a scary, foreign concept to them. They definitely look foward to visiting grandma though, on both sides. My daughter actually visits my mom for a month during the summer every year! They have a blast together!! Would I force them… NO lol but,.I don’t have to.
If they are good people I would go over w her- she may just have anxiety over it. Force No but maybe encourage and go with her until she is comfortable
My family never turns down an opportunity to watch my daughter (17 months). She loves to see her grandparents and great grandparents. They usually watch her 1 or 2 days a week while I work. I usually work from home and she stays with me
My kids beg to see my parents. My in-laws on the other hand, I asked them if they want to go…
2 Likes
One weekend a month I have to take my 4 year old to his grandparents that has had nothing to do with him for the past 3 years due to a court ordered grandparent visitation. I hate it so much because he doesnt know them due to their lack of communication. It breaks my heart when I leave him there.
My kids RARELY EVER even see their grandparents 
. 2 of my kids have never even met my mother. And my husbands mother has only seen them a handful of times. Otherwise they are A L W A Y S with me unless their dad takes them with him to the store or something.
I work fulltime and my parents have my 2 boys while i work, my mum come to my house at 7am and leaves at 530 when i get home,
Otherwise the boys are with us, only time they go to other grandparents on weekends is if 1 grandparents ask or if im desperate, otherwise they are will us.
I am not disagreeing but just wonder if you left it if she might get used it and might like it my grandmother was 3 houses away till I was 16 we were very close my nieces and nephews spent every Sunday with me and their grandparents
I’m home 24/7 and my 3 year old has never been left with her grandparents. By her choice she also says she doesn’t want me to leave and I want her to be comfortable. If they feel upset she has no problem telling them herself she doesn’t want her mom to leave
1 Like
I didn’t have any grandparents or family growing up besides my parents and siblings. They live in another country. When i finally visited at 10, all i wanted was to be with my grandmother. Its a bond like no other. My 21 yr old and mom are very close, always had their days together. Doing the same with my 9 yr old. He knows how important it is to have a bond with his grandparents. They love going over there
My babies always wanted to go to their grandfather’s house but after. Y divorce him and his live in gf turned a little creepy and was bossing me around like a child. Wouldn’t let me get a job or anything to provide for my kids. I said the heck with him and his lady and I keep the babies away. I want nothing to do with them. My oldest is having a hard time but I can’t help the way I feel and not wanting my kids around them. And my youngest wants nothing to do with him. She’s afraid of him so I’d never force my kids around grandparents if they didn’t want to.
It’s not surprising she wants to spend the time with you, You said during work hours she’s in care, That’s a significant chunk of time away from you for a child and likely only a couple - few hours on weekdays she actually sees you and no doubt those are preoccupied hours at best also (cooking, cleaning, getting ready etc) so personally no I wouldn’t be forcing my child to spent what little there is left with other people when she is openly requesting my time.
My oldest is 8 and a mommas boy and would rather be home then anywhere else but my youngest four love there nana and memaw my mother in law and my mom!!
My kids have never stayed at my parents house and only at my husbands parents once- but both live 2-4hours away so I just haven’t gotten comfortable with the idea yet. I’d never force it though. If they want to be at home, then they can be at home.
I feel the same. My 2 yo is with me all the time. We spend a lot of time together with grandparents, but it’s very rare for him not to be with me when I’m not working.
My kids are close with my parents so they are the ones mostly asking to visit them 
we have to talk beforehand with my mom to see if they have nothing else planned as they are working people
Nope if anything they annoy me to go over there. But there are 3 toddlers the 2 boys are 3 and my niece is 2 and they live with her. Sometimes dealing with my own 2 is enough for me. And my husband asks why don’t I just drop them off but I just can’t. If I’m gonna be home doin nothin they can stay with me or we go over together. But otherwise I wouldn’t force a relationship. There may be a reason if you would have to force a relationship.
My parents raised my brothers kids are always keeping my sisters kids but barely know my kids and my parents blame me for it. I’m I’d have loved for my kids to get the grandparents experience like I had but my parents were too busy
My kids don’t like to stay anywhere but home this is where they are comfortable we go visit but if they don’t want to stay I don’t make them
1 Like
No and I never would. My daughter is old enough to express herself and if she tells me she doesn’t want to speak to grandparents on the phone she doesn’t have to, let alone forcing her to go somewhere she clearly doesn’t want to go.
My kids grandparents have been in their life since day one. We were military so we did have 11 years where the kids didn’t see them as often. They would come visit us or we went to visit them. Now we live in the same town and my kids are older. The oldest 2 are drivers now.
For the most part when they were younger, we were basically with them when visiting the grandparents. It was somewhat regular. Every now and then we would ask if the grandparents would keep them overnight so we could have time to ourselves.
Now I just tell the boys they need to go see them since they can drive themselves over there.
I would suggest taking your child to see her grandparents for a few hours on the weekend every so often so the grandparents don’t feel left out. And your child doesn’t have to be away from you.
1 Like
I wouldn’t force her to stay somewhere alone if she is telling you she is uncomfortable… If she wants to go see them but prefers you stay also, just stay… It’s important for children to build those bonds with family members, but they need to feel comfortable as well… Chances are, she’s probably just uncomfortable because she’s never really been alone with them… She likely won’t grow more comfortable if she isn’t around them, so taking her there and letting them build a bond with you present is probably going to be key… After she has been around them more, I’ll bet she will start to be more comfortable and would be okay staying by herself for short periods of time… My son’s Grandparents didn’t meet him until he was 11 months old (long story)… He is now 19 months… It took quite a while and they had to be consistent, but he is now becoming pretty comfortable around them and he willingly went for a walk around the block with them without me last week… Small steps, but a relationship is possible if you help encourage the relationship
Both of my kids love going to my moms. I do week on week off with their dads and my mom keeps my kids at least twice a month. If not more. They always want to see their grandma. We’re a super close family
Our children would spend the night with their grand mothers sometimes and every weekend I took them to see both of their grandmas and sometimes they would spend the night
I ceast to exist when my parents come around my kids are obsessed with my parents! But I would never force my kids to spend time with anyone if they didn’t want to.
I’d just do what your daughter asked and just not drop her off. You don’t have to stay long but also don’t be afraid to say no sleepovers or something if she’s not up for it.
1 Like
As a mom of all sons it’s tough to navigate a relationship with my grandkids when I’m never a priority since my son “hurt” them!! Mom of four sons is so hard
I NEVER forced my boys to go ANYWHERE! Regardless of their age. Children are people too. Do you like being forced to go places? (besides school ) Forcing them to hug or kiss people is a big NoNo too! You wanna screw your kid’s up and give them some childhood trauma then make them go too anyone’s house and then, “Give Grandma and Grandpa a hug and kiss good-bye. NOW BILLY!”
I’ll never force my children to go to a family members house they don’t want to go to
We’re a military family and have never lived close to family. I wish they had time with them. Even if it’s just once a month while you and your spouse go out or even just you to let them have a few hours as long as you feel they are safe there
My kid isn’t allowed at my moms house (my choice cause it’s a terrible environment), and he goes to my dads whenever he can.
My children are now teens and very rarely went to their grandparents without us. We spent time with them as a family and as we live 20 mins away it was a few times a week.
Nope I never have my mum will mind them every now and than but my kids don’t know there grandparents on fathers side which is fine by me cos there the ones missing out on beautiful kids I’m the one gaining seeing them grow
I think the part of the grandparents having the grandkids are either because parents work and can’t afford child care or they parents want them to spend as much time with them as you never know when they’ll be gone. Now just pawning your kids off because you don’t want to be a parent is just pure bs and shouldn’t be happening. Forcing a child to make a relationship with family no matter who it is isn’t going to be good in the long run because they’ll hate both the person forcing and the one they’re forced to have a relationship with.
My daughter has four kids three teenagers and one 11 year old my 11-year-old granddaughter she calls me when she wants to come over and since I’m retired there’s sometimes that she stays a whole week with me
If there’s ever a time in the future when we have our own place where she doesn’t want to go, I’ll respect it.
No I don’t force anything. My kids when they were young refused to give kisses and hugs and I refuse to force it. They do it when they want to and now do it more often. My mom gets it so it’s not an issue.
I don’t FORCE my Son to do anything. He’s 11 and able to make the call of where he wants to spend his time and who he’s comfortable with. When he was younger I would take him places I wanted to go but soon as he was done, we left. If he didn’t want to go, then we didn’t go! His feelings, thoughts, concerns, boundaries all need to be respected. If I, his own parent, don’t show him that, how will he expect others to?
If kids uncomfortable or wants you to stay, most likely there’s a reason for it and you should listen!
My daughter goes over to my dad and stepmoms every Sunday night till I get off Monday evening since Sunday and Monday are the only days off my step mom has. I work at a daycare and she goes Tuesday thru Friday and we go do things either after I get off, before work or on Saturday and Sunday before going to see my parents. I do wish I had more time at home with her but she LOVES going to daycare and playing with her friends. We are closed for 2 weeks and she’s already missing being there and it’s only her first day home. She also knows some colors now that she goes (she’s only 18 months old) and is learning a lot by going. I don’t send her to my mil house since she doesn’t really care for it tho. I’m the mom that won’t force a kid to be in an environment they are uncomfortable with it
I’m the same way, if grandparents don’t ask for the kids they most likely are with my husband and I.
No but my kids love their grandparents so I don’t force anything on them.
Mine have always wanted to be home at night. They only want to stay if it’s with my ex. They have stayed with my parents overnight a few times when I needed someone to keep them for me so I could work and they weren’t thrilled about going but once they get there they are happy lol
I don’t force at all, if the kids don’t ask me to go to grandmas and grandpas…. Grandma and grandpa r calling me to take them the kids… they can’t live without one another.
When she gets older she’ll be more comfortable with being apart.
My kids with me all the time, just cuz Theres a post about it doesn’t mean you have to take your kids over there all the time. My kids don’t go but like once every three months
Nope. They can visit at our house or at the park/other location. I don’t feel comfortable dropping my kids off anywhere. Maybe that’s my childhood experiences projecting but I’m just not into it.
My son was 5 before he willingly wanted to stay the night somewhere. And even now he will tell them no.
No. We visit occasionally or they come see us.
1 Like
First I would never “force” my child to do anything.
only when I’m going to Vegas 
No i don’t. If they want to go they do. If they want to stay i allow it usually. Right now with covid things are different but usually they do what they want i don’t ever force anyone to go or stay anywhere.
soak up every min - If nobody is requesting it & you’ve made accommodations for childcare already
STAY WITH YOUR KIDS EVERY MINUTE THEY WANT YOU-blink & it won’t be like that 
*mom of a 14 year old girl
1 Like
My 2 year old begs to go to her grandparents lol
1 Like
Nope. My children loved going to their Grandparents they lived in the country
I never forced my kids. They wanted to stay with gma & gpa.