Do you think family and friends should ask permission or wait for you to offer for them to hold your newborn?

When she goes to grab her out your arms pull away and say he/she is fine.

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I slapped my own mommas hand away from my baby girl. She was only 4lbs and my mom didnt wash her hands before trying to pick her up. Its your baby. You draw the line where you see fit!

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How about “I love that you love the baby and want to hold her all the time. But sometimes it’s just not convenient, if you could ask next time before just picking her up, I would appreciate it!” Then if that doesn’t work, use some of the other more harsh advice you’re getting lol I would always start out calm and chill unless this person just really isn’t getting it.

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I always wait to hold a newborn. That’s just me. It’s called respect.

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I always ask first! Not to compare a baby to a dog but same concept if that makes sense

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Let her know its rsv season and dont want people holding the baby without permission

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Whoever they are they are using poor manners. This is about doing what’s best for your kid. If they need rest or fed it’s your job to stand up for your baby and say hey put them back or put them down. This is the beginning of standing up and doing the right thing for your child. It can be uncomfortable doing that sometimes, but you need to get use to it.

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My mil used to do that when my kids were babies. Drove me crazy.

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Ask for permission anybody sould

Your mom, you can kick her out of your personal space if you wish to.
Be firm & make it known

Just say no and back off. :woman_shrugging:t3: You’re the advocate for your child.

With RSV season upon us and all of the other crazy illnesses out there, I personally would take caution on people just picking my baby up. Just explain to the others that you want to keep your sweet little one safe, so for now please refrain from picking up and holding the baby. The baby is yours and you get to choose what you want for your baby. Good luck with everything.

I always wait but if someone asks me I’d never be mad. Respectful

Sounds like she doing this on purpose,just to be a spiteful B. Take control, only u know what needs to be said.

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I think they should ask (if really wanting to hold) cause otherwise they could be waiting FOREVER for you to [email protected] offer :unamused::smirk:
Baby 10, talmbout you wanna see?!:joy::sob::rofl:

I would jerk away next time, or if you’re sitting, pop her hand when she reaches down to lift baby off your chest!

Allllll of this I would do !:100:

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Nobody even is coming to my house for 2 months and I’ve pissed a lot of people off over that but idgafffff I am not risking my newborn getting sick during this absolute psycho pandemic RSV season and I also have a preschooler so I’ll already be needing to protect heavily.

We also have a new protocol in place here where if a newborn under 8 weeks gets a fever and admitted to the hospital, they get a spinal tap. And that’s a big hell no from me.

I would tell them, “I’m the parent please respectfully ask me if it’s okay to pick up and hold the baby.” And if that doesn’t work then go off :woman_shrugging:t2:

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No. Is a complete sentence. Any person who does that, thinks that they can steamroll you. Don’t let them. Take that baby back, assert your authority and be a mama bear.

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Speak up and just say it otherwise she’ll just keep doing it. Stand your ground mama!

You are your babies best advocate. Set up healthy boundaries and tell her she needs to ask first. She sounds like the type that needs to be put in their place.

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Bark/growl at them, I guarantee you they’ll back tf up :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Aww hell naw you ain’t touching my baby till I say so. Even my mother knows that. My child is responsiblity and I will do what I know is good for him or her . Your feelings do not come first to me.

Oh hell no you better speak up to that woman.

Uh, don’t let her take the baby from your arms? Like, if she’s taking baby from your arms, it’s because you’re letting her. If you don’t want someone to touch your kid, open your mouth and say something. You are going to have to stand up for yourself and your kid A LOT more during life, might as well start getting used to it now.

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I have 4 nieces and 3 nephews and I ALWAYS ask if its okay to pick them up or hold them and NEVER take them from mom. EVER.
My mother in law does this, so i understand the deer in the headlights “did she just do that?!” Feeling. I wish I could stand up for myself and my babe better. I have found that babywearing whenever I am around other helps ward of the handsy ones.

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Man just take the baby out of their hands you are the mother so. It’s ur kid not theirs

Just flat out tell her she is not to take your baby from your arms or while she is sleeping unless you ask her to or she asks

I think it’s all on how you are raised. Some just want to meet the baby and hold them. They may have never been told. Let her know however way you want to say it thats up to you. This is the beginning of “what u say goes” over you child. Tell her…Dont pick up the baby unless you ask me. Nothing else.

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I always ask to hold a baby. When I was a young mother, I expected people to ask me. My husband and my mother were the only that could just take any of my babies out of my arms. There’s no way what this person is doing is acceptable. Put up the barrier now. You don’t have to be rude about it just firm. Good luck! We mommas know what’s best for our babies.

I’d probably end up biting someone :no_good_woman::woman_shrugging:

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With so much ickiness going on rn NOBODY should be touching a new baby any ways ugh

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Is it a grandma? Sounds like a grandma.

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Next time she tries to pick her up say something. Like “she doesn’t need to be picked up right now but thank you” or "she actually needs to be fed right now"then grab her from the person. Your baby your rules. Good luck mama

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Um no. You need to speak up for your baby and yourself. Others should not just take your child from your arms. Tf…no!

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No, dont let that happen because soon you will be compliant with that and just let it be and you will lose your bond with your child that is YOUR child and then awful shit will happen. Trust me. I’ve been there. I can’t even Express to you how important it is to tell her that YOU got this. You will let her know when it’s her turn. Otherwise, how you parent is how you parent because that is your child.

Just say, “Nope” & gently shove her back. No need to explain. It’s your baby. She don’t mind being rude & making you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to do the same. Who wakes a sleeping baby :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

If someone came up and took my baby, I would say “Excuse me! Please step away from the baby that is not yours. It’s time for them to (fill in blank), now. It’s not holding time.” And then take your baby back.

It’s your baby and only you can stand up for that.

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Just don’t let her! Tell her to leave baby alone or tell her to ask before picking her up.

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I was like this with my first. It’s momma protection. Try and remember that it takes a village, she won’t get hurt, and that person obviously loves the baby.
You have a right to feel uncomfortable though.

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Politely say we do not pick up the baby when sleeping or feeding ??

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Wow idk how to deal with that situation, I would probably just say “you can’t hold her right now” and if I feel like I need to explain (you might want to, cause it’s awkward) then say i.e. “she’s due for a feeding”. I always always ask before holding anyone baby. That’s super weird and rude she doesn’t acknowledge the baby’s mother

You just need to speak up or ask your spouse to tell them to ask first. I doubt she’s doing it to be rude. Talk to her about it

No! Speak up! Tell her how you feel! That’s not okay!

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POP the hand… every time she goes to touch the baby, (( POP ))… She will be just as shocked as you are. No words needed. :woman_shrugging:

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Set your foot down. This family member is being extremely rude. Its your child your rules. They don’t like.it too bad. If I’m holding my child um :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: don’t take my baby out of MY arms. Everyone has always asked if they can hold my child when they were babies and even then I was like can you please wash your hands first, and one said i have hand sanitizer and I said no that has alcohol in it (and my son had extremely sensitive skin at the time when he was a newborn) can you please wash your hands before holding him. I got a funny look but, my boundaries was respected and established with all my kids very early

You don’t know how to approach??? When you become a mother, the Lion instincts kicks in right away! Your job is to protect you child REGARDLESS who they are, specially during this Covid times. :triumph::triumph::face_with_raised_eyebrow::face_with_raised_eyebrow: I don’t care who doesn’t like it, but no ones touches my child until I say so, even dad can’t say nothing! When I had my 3 babies years ago, I waited 3 months for everyone to “see” my babies.

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I always ask or wait til the mom offers

Next time tell her hey before you pick her up I need you to ask me if it’s ok first. It is your baby not anyone else’s. They can respect your boundaries or just stay away from you and the baby I’m sure you’ll be happy either way. Don’t be afraid to piss people off or rub them the wrong way. Who cares! Make sure to put your comfort when it comes to your baby first.

It depends. If it’s someone I’m super close with, I don’t mind. They’re like family and will be a big part of my baby’s life. But if it’s someone I’m friends with but not like family, don’t touch my baby without asking first. With that said, it really doesn’t matter how any of us feel about the situation, you’re mom. If you’re not comfortable with it, that’s all that matters and it should not be done. Let people know right away not to touch your baby without asking so there is no room for misunderstanding.

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You need to learn to defend your baby and motherhood if you don’t you won’t be able to when things really matter

Ask. Always ask. Thankfully my family (my in-laws included) always asked. :purple_heart:

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Straight forward and to the point! If you don’t establish boundaries now they will just get worse

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nope! My daughters grandma used to do this and it PISSED ME OFF!

No words, just hands & elbows thrown :woman_facepalming:t4::woman_shrugging:t4:

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I hated this part of having a newborn. It made me so anxious to be around people. I was in a public pool when my daughter was 2 months old. As I walked in the area this woman in the pool yelled to her husband “I’m going to hold the baby then I’ll be out.” I looked around to see what baby she was talking about. Surely not mine. I didn’t even know her. I got in the pool. She grabbed my baby. We were fighting over my infant in a pool. I told her To leave us alone. She gave me bullshit about having a lot of kids blah blah. There were people around & nobody helped. Idky people think they can take babies or even touch babies. Tell this family member off.

Speak up and tell her no. I mean ur baby can’t speak up for it’s self. U are the babies voice just say hey excuse u but I am holding my baby Do not grab him r her outta my lap.

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Oh goodness…no one touches your baby without your permission. Not ever
Just tell her no…with a newborn you have to be extra careful of germs …smh

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You need to set boundaries with this person. Address it as “ you need to ask to hold the baby, and if we explain now is not an appropriate time, then the answer is no” this may upset them. Still your right to say no. People don’t like being called out. If you don’t like it, then explain that to them.

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:clap::clap:set those boundaries :clap::clap:. Let her know you are not comfortable with her taking the baby and to ask if she wants to hold/pick her up.

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I would speak with her before it happens again. Just set boundaries that if she is sleeping or if someone has her leave her alone.

I think it is only polite to ask before holding someone’s baby family or not. I would never just go up and grab someone’s baby to hold. I know a sleeping baby should never be woken up because I’m sure it took time to get the baby to finally fall asleep. Girl you need to stand up for yourself and tell her to back off. She does it because you just let her and don’t say anything to her so she probably doesn’t realize how much it bothers you. You need to have a serious chat with this lady before you boil over from bottling it in.

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Yes they certainly should ask. I know it will be uncomfortable for you saying it because its family but it has to be done. I would loose it if it was me.

I wish someone would try to take my baby out of my arms!!! Tell her straight up to back up and that you will let her know when you want someone to hold your baby. Even if it causes your husband to be upset at first, you’re the mother so you have authority and can say who and when you want someone holding your baby. That is extremely rude of her also. Nip that in the bud now before it really does become an issue. Also, always offer to let someone hold baby or wait for them to ask permission, never just let someone think they can do as they wish no matter if they are family or not.

It doesn’t matter who it is. They should ALWAYS ask first. Even my mother asks before she picks up my daughter and my daughter’s 10 months old. You are your daughter’s advocate. You don’t have to approach the situation gingerly or be nice about it. That is your baby, she is unhappy, tell the family member not to touch your baby without asking you. When she reaches for your child, stop her. She needs to have more respect than that whether she likes you or not. My boyfriend’s mom and I have never really been on good terms and even she asks first.

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Your partner and you need to have a conversation with this person. I feel like your partner needs to be involved because it’s their family member. That just plain rude. Setting boundaries is sometimes challenging but it’s a must good luck :pray:t2:

Open your mouth and tell her to fuck off. Literally, you need to advocate for yourself and your child. Don’t worry about trying to make friends, its okay to be considered a “bitch” when youre doing whats best for your kids.

You are the voice of that little baby, speak up tell them if they can’t ask, they can’t be around simple as that. Sometimes you gotta be a lil mean but in the long run its better for your baby.

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It’s your child you make decisions on what’s okay and what’s not your baby your rules period if they don’t like it they can stay away

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I would def have a problem with that and trust me she would know and not do it again.

Umm, your speak up for your child.

Naw. I used to get so mad when other ppl “hogged” my baby. Tell her to go sit her butt down.

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I totally agree that family member should ask first…but I’m sure if you talked to them, and just explained to them that you would prefer them to ask first, they would probably understand without getting upset with you!

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Next time she does it, just tell her she needs to ask before grabbing YOUR child from you.

Just be straightforward. It’s not her kid

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Baby girl, you gotta find your mama voice! No one should be touching/holding or picking up your baby without your permission. Period. They especially should never take YOUR baby from your arms for any reason unless you’re okay with it. Set firm boundaries and use your voice. If you don’t say anything, this person will continue to bypass you and not acknowledge you. Good luck! :heartpulse:

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Tell them to back off!

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I think it’s common courtesy to ask before grabbing anything let alone someone newborn. People don’t take into consideration of others. Especially with covid going around. Put your foot down. 2 of my 3 kids got RSV (one also got pneumonia) and both almost died on me. I couldn’t imagine how to act with a newborn right now with covid. If you don’t this could happen to your kids.

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Ummmm you are the mother. NO ONE has the right to touch that child without your permission and most definitely to take them from your arms I would have punched her for that.

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Just tell her plain and simple to Stop

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Go take her purse without permission and when she comments remind her that just as her purse is her possession, your baby is yours.

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I would ask a fellow family member to speak to her. I don’t like confrontation either. Don’t let people make you feel guilty for not speaking up for your child. Its hard because you are in shock someone would just grab your baby without asking, I would not allow her over to visit anymore. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Your house, your baby. It’s also OK to cut people off or out of your life if they don’t respect your wishes as a mother. That’s protecting yourself and your family.

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Who’s baby is it? Yours or hers? Pretty sure she doesn’t call the shots here.

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Depends on who it is on if I make them ask if they can hold if someone isn’t already holding them. That’s rude to just come take a child out of your arms without asking. Like I didn’t even realize that was a thing. Close family. They know the drill. Wash hands, stay away if your sick, etc. They ask if I’m already holding him though. Like that’s rude af and would get them screamed at. Lol but that’s just me. Tell them no, if they have a problem with it, they can also go kindly get fucked.

I’m family. I’m grabbing. Come meet aunty!!!

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I feel like this is the same post just worded different about the mother in law taking the newborn away from mom

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I agree with Tricia. If you feel like you’re being rude or mean (which you aren’t) but say something like “I’d rather just let her be for now, she’s resting”. You need to set the rules. If you allow her to continue, your resentment is going to just get worse and s Tricia said, speak up now because you’ll need to stand up for that child in the future GUARANTEED!

Tell her no, give your baby back.

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Maybe she thinks she’s being helpful to give you a break?

If not SPEAK UP to this person. It’s your child. If it doesn’t feel right it’s not.

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You have to find your voice when it comes to your children. Stand up to her and tell her to ask permission before holding your baby. You have to set the boundaries now or it will just get worse.

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Say. Please. Don’t. Pick. Het. Up. While. She. Is. Sleeping than. She might get the point

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I’d be going off. Idk how you sit there and say nothing lol. That’s YOUR kid not hers

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The only time I asked to hold a baby is the first time I meet them or if someone is holding it at the time. I’ve always been the friend that goes straight to the baby but they’re moms were fine with it because it gave them a break. If you have a problem with people doing that then you need to set some rules and let them know. People can’t read minds and they may not know you don’t like it

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Noone has permission til you offer or grant it.The baby’s a person not a toy.

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I would tell her “hey i was just about to feed the baby so hand him/her back”. You dont have to be guns blazing if your not comfortable at confrontation but you can say things nicely and still get your point across. I mean id be on their ass for touching my kid and not asking first but im more crazy.

It’s not her baby. She should ask your permission to hold your baby. The next time she tries to do this you should tell her how shocked it makes you when she takes your baby when she has finally gone to sleep or is in need of feeding or just randomly, without asking, just like you told us. Then tell her she needs to ask before holding your baby. She should understand. If she doesn’t understand, remind her this is your baby, not hers.

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Say no it’s not a good time right now especially with covid and flu season coming.

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I waited, even with my GrandChildren, until I was told that it was okay. I felt that way when I had mine and even when I was babysitting. It is called Respecting the Parent/Guardian/Responsible Adult.

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I’ve always waited, unless it my grandbabies then I’m all let me have him it’s my turn.:heart::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

No judgment … I have to say I do the same thing with being in shock sometimes and not knowing how to respond to somebody at first if they do something disrespectful & shocking. But I have to say in this situation it would be really hard not to stick my foot up somebody’s a$$ if they did this. I definitely do not hold back when it comes to my child and making sure it’s a comfortable situation, for my child and me. Not asking before is a huggge no. Don’t be afraid to be firm, it can be done in a really nice way too… there is currently a lot of things going around also that we have to try to protect our children from. Best of luck to you

NO! & don’t be hesitant about telling them not to do it! Specially with the RSV AND COVID…a big fat no!

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It depends on how close you are with someone. Like if any of siblings had a baby of course I would expect to be able hold my niece or nephew… if you aren’t close with this person then yes, they should ask.