This is a choice for each relationship. My husband and I personally don’t like to go out without each other. He’s my best friend. I have the most fun WITH him. We CAN go out without each other, but it depends on what the event is. Neither one of us are comfortable with the other going to a club or bar or party like event without the other. We both just aren’t comfortable with it. Not that we don’t trust each other, but, we just don’t think it’s appropriate (and that’s our choice together). A girls dinner? A boys drone flying day? A bachelor or bachelorette (depending on what the even consists of… but both of us are too old to have friends that are doing anything inappropriate). I had a girls weekend at a beach resort a couple of years ago. He didn’t love that I was leaving for the weekend but not out of trust issues, simply because of FOMO and missing me. I actually had a horrible time: I prefer to do fun things with my best friend and that’s him. He had a weekend in mammoth for a bachelor “party” boys weekend. I didn’t love that he was gone for a weekend: FOMO and missing him. He had fun lol.
“ALLOWS???” I am not his child or subservient. I am an adult. Does your husband “ask” for permission??? Giant red flags here…
Allow?? Sorry that’s all I can focus on lol
Ugh I didn’t get past the first sentence when you said “allow”.
Have him read your post maybe he will understand
I think this just depends on the type of person you are. I have girlfriends that have a monthly ritual of going out on a girls night and they love it… the thought of it give me serious anxiety. My old man is the same way. Neither of us really want to go out and deal with a crowd or be somewhere we are uncomfortable. We work, hunt, and fish together so being together constantly just works for us. My old man will take random fishing or hunting trips with a buddy or two here and there which is no big deal to either of us. During those times I’ll randomly pop in on a friend and go visit them or if I’m feeling extra antisocial I may stay home and read a book. The “allow” comment baffles me tho. At any point in time we can do whatever we want without drama or issues.
Allow? You are a grown woman so nobody should be allowing anything. Go out with the girls if that is what you want to do.
I didn’t even have to read this.
If you have to get permission from your husband to go out LEAVE HIS ASS
Seriously you are allowed to be your own person with out him and if he gets to decide what you do and who you are about that’s call 
abuse:sparkles:
That word allow put me off right away, does he allow REALLY!!!
I’m sorry, did you say ALLOW? I’m a grown a** woman, not his child. So if I want to go out with friends, I go out with friends. 
I even go on girl trips with my friends. But back to your situation, you shouldn’t need a bunch of strangers to prove your point. If you need a night out with the girls, then you should go out. It sounds like your husband is miserable and wants to make you miserable as well. Couples do NOT have to do everything together.
“He’s great, really” while controlling you, and you have to ask other women if their husbands “allow” them to do something… yeah, that doesn’t sound great.
Of COURSE we have girls night out, fun weekend trips and shopping sprees! Why does he want to control you? He has to let you be you……and if he squelches your fun loving personality, leave him. Marriage DOES NOT he owns you so get tgat through his head. He lives in the dark dark ages! Husband…. quit acting like a 14 year old pre teen!
No he’s not great in every other way…he is controlling you, guilting you, and gaslighting you
My husband doesn’t “allow” me do anything because he’s NOT in charge of me
Your husband not having friends is a him problem don’t let him make it yours as well
It isn’t your fault if he doesn’t have any friends and he doesn’t get to “tell” you or “allow” you to spend time with yours. Just because y’all are married doesn’t mean he now owns you and can tell you what to do, this isn’t the fucking 1800s. I would tell him to get over himself. If he doesn’t then he needs some serious therapy because that mindset absolutely does not belong in a relationship of any kind.
Allow? He’s not my dad I don’t need his permission.
Mine does the same thing. He says he doesn’t like going out. So he just sits at home and plays video games with his online buddies when I go out. I just ignore his pouting and go anyways. If he wants to sit and pout like a damn child then so be it 
won’t ruin my night out. I’m a sahm of 2 so I feel I’m deserving of one night out a month! I’m a human too not a robot! Just go out and have fun!
Allow? Girl you are grown say I’m going to do this this day at this time you will be in charge of the kids for this approximate amount of time. Then go do it. But I’d be nice and bring him food back and maybe a 6 pack.
So many “to be divorced” women in the comments, don’t listen to them, but u shouldn’t marry a person that u knew he was against going out alone and you didn’t discuss this before marriage, it’s your fault.
Allow first is not gonna fly for long . You need to have a serious talk with him. He needs to find a few friends. Either at work, neighbors, childhood friend. A family member such as a brother, cousin etc, this will kill a marriage if you don’t!
You need to go out with friends!
You’ll end up so isolated and so unhappy and you’ll resent him for it! I went through 10 years of it and have lost good friends in the process and my job too because I made friends with a girl from work!
My ex used to say to me “we don’t need anyone we just need to live in OUR WORLD! Nobody else matters”.
There was always an excuse as to why that person was no good for me to hang around or talk to, they were bad in some way or another, he’d even try to say that some had hit on them so I wouldn’t like them.
I was so unhappy and didn’t realise how much of my life I wasted listening to him!
Rule number #1 you have your OWN life to live individually YOU OWN IT, YOU HAVE CONTROL OF IT and who shares it with you needs to respect that and hey may even join you in whatever but don’t ever forget YOU!
Nope my husband doesn’t control me like I’m a child allowing me to see friends. This is not a healthy dynamic in your relationship.
Yeah lol I mean I have not much else of a response
Just go!
He’s not 2.
Sounds like a Narc.
Absolutely tell him to go find a sports team or something and make friends or give him time to do his hobbies if you’d not already !!!
My best friends are out of state so I don’t go out as often as I like but when I get the opportunity I schedule it in advance and just tell him I’m doing xyz on ABC and if he don’t like it tough shit. Otherwise I tell him I want to do xyz hobby take the kid for me so I can have some me time when I can’t hang out
Ok, some of these are starting to get ridiculous.
The word allow sets off all sorts of bells! You allow your children. Not your wife!
Stopped reading after the word ‘allow’
My former hubby didn’t have a problem with me going out with friends as long as they weren’t men or gay females
Never ASK my husband and he doesn’t ASK me.
married women should be nowhere near a bar or nightclub with alcohol and randy men without their husbands. by their side.women in their 20’s nowadays tend to sleep around with bad boy after bad boy while their body count grows to a disturbing level,and yes body count does matter.the old adage that women care about a man’s future while a man cares about a woman’s past still holds truetoday no matter what feminists say about the’‘you can have it all’’ mentality.while they are sleeping around with all these bad boy men, they simultaneously reject the good man that desire them.then when these women hit the wall at 30ish or so and their biological clock begins too wind down,they suddenly want to settle down,get married,have children etc. now the same good men that they rejected 10 years earlier now seem acceptable as mates as most have established themselves in the business world and are just hitting their peak earning power,thus they will be able to be good providers for their brood.problem is often times the men no longer desire them as they would prefer a 24 year old who is,younger,prettier and more fertile hence more desirable.in the scenario above,this women obviously misses the bad boys so sneaking out with the girls is just a pretense to relive her roaring 20’s and look for bad boys as that is what thrills her sexually much more than boring married sex with the good boy husband
Your freedom should not be taken because he doesn’t have friends, i have been there and it suck’s
Bars are not created for marries folks unleas they go together.
My husband and I are going on 7 years, We don’t go out for guys nights or gals nights thats something you do single. You are united and should find intreats that you both enjoy doing together.
Don’t get me wrong my husband has friends and so do I but we visit together and do things together unless it’s like some type of help required that I have no knowledge about
Juat my opinion and what works for us. We girls hung out before marriage, yah wanna hangout but some adult beverages and stay home like an adult. Lots todo at home with friends
If this were my husband I’d ask to see a marriage counselor so that you both have a mutual person to talk to and give advice. My husband actually encourages me to do things without him and vis versa. My husband is my partner not my keeper
No, he doesn’t let me. I let myself. Because I’m not a fucking prisoner. Is this baby-man-child for real?
You know you can divorce with him right? And actually enjoy your life.
You lost me at “ALLOW” 
Get him involved in an activity, how old are your kids…why do you want to go out drinking, why not go shopping, lunch, or do volunteer work. Sounds like your looking for trouble, your bored, and looking for someone to put some excitement in your life. NOTHING GOOD EVER COMES OUT OF A MARRIED WOMAN HANGING OUT IN A BAR WITH SINGLE FRIENDS.
My fiance is like this, where I moved to I made a friend that lived right across from me, I moved couple trailers down from her ever since my fiance mom been staying with us I been going down to my friend house when my kids are sleeping for like 30 minutes my fiance gets mad when I go down to my friend house but that don’t stop me idc what he says lol its only cuz he don’t have friends and I won’t let him control what i do.
Sorry allowed??? girl, I’m a grown ass woman, I’ll do as I please and my man will suck it up or move on.
Allow? Oh no you go out if you want. Everyone needs the time to go out and hang out with friends and get a break from your partner. I can’t tell if he is just controlling or is bored. But even if he doesn’t go out that shouldn’t stop you from going out.
My husband & I don’t go out with friends just each other but if I ever wanted to someday it wouldn’t be an issue with him.
‘Allow’??!! Are we living in the 1800s? I would have like to see him try and stop me!
You guys have enough energy to go out? I can’t wait til toddler stage turns into princess stage. 
I go out occasionally with friends without my husband and he doesn’t have a problem with it because I’m a home body so going out is very rare for me and he also would occasionally hang out with with his friends without me with no issues. Trust is key.
While my husband was over the road, I went out one day every week with my friends. When he would come home we’d often go out again, and he’d come along. It was never an issue and if he wanted to go out with his friends I’d be fine with that too. He rarely, if ever, did without me. He chose to spend his time with his faimily instead.
As long as you’re not staying out all night or doing something that is disrespectful to your marriage it shouldn’t be a problem.
However, my husband is off the road now and after having him gone all week for over seven years of our marriage, I literally just want to spend all my time with him. He’s been off the road for two years and I still can’t seem to spend enough time with him 
You would think after fifteen years I wouldn’t still be this obssessed with him. So, the days out with friends are gone for now and I’m absolutely okay with it. He’s my favorite person anyway.
With all of that said there are many factors to consider as to WHY he has an issue with it.
Are your friends the type to try and get you to do things he wouldn’t approve of? Are they supportive of your marriage or do they try to drive a wedge? Do the two of you spend enough time together? I know you said you rarely go out together due to kids, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make the most of your time in together. Also, are you wanting to go out for drinks and dinner, or to bars and clubs all night? All of that could play into his apprehension about it. Another thing, you mentioned he doesn’t have friends to go out with. So he may feel because he doesn’t go out neither should you. Not saying that’s fair, or should even be a consideration for the topic, but if that is how he feels, he is entitled to feel that way.
Honestly, I felt this way early in our marriage. We had three small kids and I never had time away from them. I also never saw my friends because we were in different seasons of our lives, so when my husband would go anywhere I’d get frustrated. I felt as if it was unfair. I wanted time to myself too. I failed to communicate that very well and it came off as if I didn’t want him to do anything without me. Like I wanted him to sit at home all the time. I really just wanted him to understand I was lonely and overwhelmed and felt like he didn’t care and only cared about himself and what he wanted to do.
It sounds like more conversations need to be had. The both of you need to communicate what you need and why. Then discuss how to meet those needs, i.e. time out with friends.
You have a good hubby do not screw things up…my husband and if only go out together …do not listen to need your own identity …join a bible study or join a exercise or craft needing to put your are going to get tempted
I had a coworker were they had agreed weekend that they were allowed to go out without the other in tow.
My hubby was the same and I just told him I needed it for my mental health and if he still felt uncomfortable after I did it we could revisit the conversation to see why it bothered him to much. He ended up loving the time to himself with our son and I absolutely hated being out without him
Me and my husband have things we do separate and together, my hubby don’t own me and I don’t own him we all need some “me” time
Yeah my wife’s an adult I don’t care what she does as long as crazy don’t come home in front of the kids I follow the same rule
Can you find “couples” friends? My husband and I don’t really have a lot of friends but we are great friends with a family. It’s great because I get along with the wife and he gets along with him. Our kids play together too and we’re with them almost every weekend doing dinner or even going out, this way you don’t have to worry about getting a babysitter either
I could go out but 10pm is my bedtime lol.
I don’t go anywhere without my husband. I also don’t “go out” so he’s offered for me and my friend to go to dinner but I don’t wanna go without him.
That’s crazy everyone deserves their own space and time…
If I want to go out with the girls, I go. If he wants to go out with the boys, he goes. That word “allow” is cringe worthy. The fact he has no buddies is concerning too. Everyone needs somebody. He needs to get involved in something and try to make some connections.
I’m sorry but the word “allow” is an instant red flag ! It’s just as important to have a life outside your partner as it is to have one with them it’s all about balance so you can be a whole individual, otherwise resentment will set in and that creates a very hostile environment
Time apart is healthy. Yes, I’ll go out with my friends and he will go out with his. Of course there are times we go out together too. My sister in law stays up my brother n laws butt…won’t let him do anything alone, always tags along. He can’t even just hang out with brother without her. It’s so annoying.
My ex would get an attitude, but he knew he couldnt say anything. Then again when he wanted to go out with his friends he didnt have to ask, he just told me he had plans. Meanwhile i had to ask if he would watch the baby. Eventually i just asked my mom all the time. I moved home because he was not willing to do more than the kittens share of the parenting , household and financial responsibilitiesm
My husband doesn’t “allow” me to, I’m his wife and partner not his property! Before I make plans I make sure my husband doesn’t have any conflicting plans then I inform my husband that I have plans. We understand and respect that we need friendships outside of our marriage. If I ever felt like I needed to get permission from my spouse to have friendships and a social life my marriage would be over so fast. I can’t even imagine my husband disrespecting or degrading me like that.
Oh no 
even with girls lunch, pedi/mani date? That’s gonna do more than an identity crisis that could very well lead to a divorce down the line, eventually the resentment you will start to feel will snowball into your personal & physical relationship. EVERYONE needs their own time. Your hubby says he has no friends 
honestly I think he’s just saying that to guilt you. 1 or 2 coworkers? A cousin? A brother or sis? 
IDK but if he doesn’t maybe bring up a hobby shooting or my brother goes golfing a couple times a month by himself & usually he’ll end up in a game with other guys there. I would have a honest convo with him cause in my opinion that’s not healthy.
Nobody puts baby in the corner! Hope it all works out for you.
Mine didn’t care. Usually I was able to go visit friends Friday and or Saturday night after I had kids and him fed and the kids more or less settled which didn’t entail much mostly putting them a movie on and such…but all during the week I was home doin the wifely thing…he didn’t care what I did as long as I gave him a heads up and that means ANYTHING I wanted. But I generally just went to some friends house to be around ppl more like what I was used to growing up around. His family wasn’t much for goin out and socializing and were more home bodies so he was more or less the same way. We might have been able to get a sitter once maybe twice a month to go do sumthin together but usually that consisted of goin to my uncles house or just enjoying each other at home…he didn’t have many friends and if anything he’d go to my uncles by himself from time to time to ride 4wheelers or just tinker with something. Sadly it was when he made friends with the neighbors mainly the female things went sour and were no longer together
This is kind of hard for me to say my husband has passed away now we were married for 20 years and yes my husband would go out by himself with his friends and I honestly was able to show up at any time and everything was okay it wasn’t in me to really go out on my own or with friends but yes when I did it he never questioned me you never had a problem with it as a matter of fact he always gave me a little extra money to make sure I’d be okay and told me if I was partying and partied a little too much just to call him ring the phone until he woke up and he would come get me not a problem that was love and trust and I’ll never forget that and I never took it for granted