Yes you are being taken for granted if you have to tell a man how to treat you then something is very wrong with the relationship he doesn’t show appreciation at all
Talk about love language
People do things for those they want. He didn’t want to do it for you and/or feels whatever he does is enough and you don’t deserve it. Either way, tell him. If it doesn’t change, the choice is yours on what to do next.
Have you expressed that you want to be surprised other than the things he surprised you with. Honesty is the best thing to do
U. R. Don’t. Buy. Him. Any. More. If. He ask. Tell. Him. There’s things you. Want
It’s always good during the chase, but now he has you so why bother is what he’s not getting. Set up a date night without the kids . Make it a normal thing and see what he thinks and don’t buy him anything.
Fuck that, find you a man that’s gonna bang you, give you a vape, and surprise you. Sound like you got a decent car but not a great car if you know what I mean
Have you expressed your feelings on this to him?
If no, then I wouldn’t say he’s taken advantage of you. Because men are obviously. At least most are.
If he continues to ignore the things you want and need after that, then yes. I’d say he doesn’t respect you enough to see you happy!
Seeing their woman happy will in turn keep them even happier! We are givers!! But we also love to be gifted. Shown appreciation! Shown they heard us! Follow through! It means so much!
First of all stop hinting… because men can’t take a hint… and I think men typically “forget” that girls would still like surprises. Not just on holidays but a just because I love you… unfortunately that’s how they are wired. I am not the kind of girl that wants to remind my man like hey, you need to step up and spoil me. I look at it as he’s been taking me out to eat so I’m good with that. So if he takes you out to eat, think of that as a gift. It’s a gift to me and I love food!!! Lol ummm another thing is, Sometimes guy that work hard and have kids are really just trying to make it. So don’t be too hard on him. If you want just send him a pic of something you want and say, Hey will you buy me this??? I really really want this!!! Lol I told mine that I wanted him to buy me some chips… simple!!! Lol and he did!!! He went on a witch hunt but he found my chips and I’m excited…. Anywho just be blunt I guess…
If he’s like my Mr…straight up tell him.
I gotta. If I wait for him to surprise me with the things I want/mention/love etc id be dead with a bare gravesite lol
But he does it in other ways. Like stopping to get me coffee on his way home from work cuz I mentioned one would be nice. Or running for a burger at 2am cuz I saw a commercial and said it would be SO yummy right now…or him grabbing the vacuum when I didn’t get to it…etc. it’s little every day things he does. Like saying good night and giving me a kiss every night before bed. Making sure I’m ok.
But things…ya. I gotta tell him on paydays…“ok. I want this, let’s go get it!” And off we go lol he pays.
Then he’ll be all like “wow I didn’t even know you wanted this!”…nvm I’d be mentioning it for months…lol
He’s my best friend tho. He’s just a taaaaaaaad slow with hints and needs a good whack over the head when I mean I WANT it lol
Have a talk about your love languages
Men don’t do subtle…. Tell him
Brianna Branch this is not winners thinking take his card and pick out some flowers fuck even get your nails done problem solved it’s tax time
Buy it yourself. You’re the only one you’ve got control over. Don’t let your own self down. Put in to a relationship what you get out of it. Match his effort.
You are honey! I’m sorry to say, but stop buying him anything and stop spending your money on him, open a separate account, put your extra funds there and hold onto them for a day your in need! If he can afford stuff for others he can afford for himself! If he doesn’t treat you with respect and dignity then you are only caring for his children and being his servant, step out of that one and don’t look back, I know it’s hard to do with the kids involved but they are not your bio kids and you deserve more!!!
Probably living in the past
Tell him!! No one can read your mind, but a gal like me would speak my mind to my husband letting him know exactly what I want and or expect💯
Talk to him or counseling
You are and stop doing!
Yep problem is you girl, my sister in law used to say “Treat them like a king and they treat you like a peasant, treat them like a peasant and they treat you like a queen”. Now yes most guys do need a hint hint to get it, men and women think differently
Stop buying things for him, and start buying things for you. It’s called self love and self appreciation. You can’t expect someone to give you the same you give bc you are going to end up disappointed. I know how you feel. But not all the people think and have the same heart than us. Stop doing nice things for him and he will notice.
Sadly, men don’t think the way women do
That’s why men suck… go lesbians.lol
He has you and doesn’t see the need to do any of that you should show him and tell him calmly use sex or 4play it always works wit my man he is a simple redneck and I just tell him what I want him to do for whatever he wants from me in return and it works for us we are both happy been that way for 15 years
Well hinting will get you no where. Men are just…dumb when it comes to that.
Does he know u want to be surprised ? He probably doesn’t even know because your a simple girl . Men can’t read our minds let him know!!!
You need to read love language book. You will find it very helpful.
Get the love languages book and shove it in his face lol
Your not alone… my man works 3rd shift. I try to be understanding however I am raising three kids on my own, everything in the house is put on my shoulders, I work full time, I go on literally four hours of sleep because I gotta run him to work and have the car to take the kids to the bus stop and go to work myself and pick him up. My daily schedule as follows…
6am wake up get kids woken up
715 kid one catches the bus
730 two kids catch the bus
730 rush to pick up hubby from work
8 get myself to work
6 get done work
630 pick up kids from sitters
7-730 dinner done
9 kids bedtime
1130 hubby to work
12-about 2 sometimes 3 doing laundry
Next day repeat…
Dude guys are straight up dumb. They don’t take hints or small suggestions. You gotta hit them with that shit straight in thier face. They simply don’t know. Plus what guy likes shopping for chick shit?..none
Make an ongoing list of wants/needs for him to reference on birthdays, etc…
Jez… she must be married to my husband!!
Just talk to him, let him know how you feel without making it sound like an argument. My husband goes to the store with his brother sometimes and they always get a drink when they’re at the store. But didn’t really say anything whenever I went with him. I mentioned it to him and he offers now lol. They just don’t have brains like us, I’m sure he appreciates everything you do and more. It’s just harder for men to show it, especially if gift giving isn’t their thing.
If you don’t spell it out for them then they’re not going to know! That’s just how men are, don’t expect them to know what you want or how you feel unless you tell them.
Talk to him. Some men just don’t think like that. If it doesn’t change quite doing it.
Tell him this
I want you to be surprised.
Tell him. Men don’t always think about things like this, especially after you’ve been together for awhile.
He expects you to do what you always. Do time for a change in your favor
Now days the king takes advantage i am 85 back in my day it worked if they work then they can be king at times lol
He is definitely taking you for granted, he is comfortable and has forgotten that you like those things. Maybe sit down and have a talk with him about “dating” eachother again. Nothing will change without some communication.
He’s focused on ‘providing’…it happens. He’s happy…all is good. He needs a wake up call for your relationship. Are you sure he actually knows what you like? Men as a rule are not that observant…they’re stupid! You may need to sit him down and spell out what your needs for this relationship.
No, Queen. You’re not good enough… you’re better!!! You never feel like you’re not good enough for someone!!! You are!!! You always are!!!
When men are chasing women, they shower them with gifts and affection usually. Once they are victorious in achieving her, psychologically they feel their is no need to try to impress her. That’s my analysis on men lol. For you, I would say communication will resolve this. If he is a good man otherwise, this issue isn’t too big to think of leaving him.
Ask him why? Talk to him tell him how you feel.
I would tell him dont forgot about you … Youd like something to know hes thinking off you.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Does your man make you feel appreciated?
So you’re right this is a common thing men do not understand why we want to feel appreciated appreciated. I mean like who else is supposed to do this do they want us to have somebody else to do this for us?? I guess they don’t understand this really is part of the job is the job if you are in a committed relationship.
Do what I do… buy yourself flowers every week… I love looking at them all bright and beautiful… he asked me once… ohh are those from me… I said nope they’re from myself cause I deserve to have flowers… since than he buys me flowers every week or as soon as he sees them dying he’ll go get new ones
You are. Tell him exactly how you feel and if he doesn’t change move on! You deserve better. Especially when you’re being stay at home mum to children you didn’t bring into the world.
Girl, buy yourself the things you want. Maybe he’ll get the hint, maybe he won’t but you’ll get to treat yourself regardless. Sometimes men warrant these kinds of conversations because they just don’t see things like us gals do. If you’re uncomfortable having this discussion, then you have to accept this is how he is and hopefully you can be content with it. Stay-at-home moms are killing it in a really stressful setting and deserve to be treated to nice little gifts of appreciation even if you have to do it for yourself
Don’t be scared to tell him you like to be spoiled as well… Just because your a stay at home mother doesn’t mean you can’t have nice things as well… communicate with your husband and let him know … he’s not a mind reader and explained to him that you’ll appreciate him putting more thought into the gifts he gets you… people have different ways on how they Perceive love and explain to him on how you perceive it… just because you like simple things doesn’t mean you don’t like gifts every once in a while …
Tell. Him. As women, we instinctually nurture. But men instinctually provide home and shelter. They are wired differently. Tell him casually that you’d really appreciate little perk up surprises after a long day, and point out “nothing big, just the type of fun little things I do to lift you up”. If he refuses after you are direct, then you have reason to be upset. But until then, it’s probably not even crossing his mind.
It’s just a GUY THING!! Well depends who he is not every guy is the way others would think… & stop buying shittt for him!!
Wow! On top of that you Stepped up way HIGH for his kids !! He sure need to APPRECIATE YOU !! Not everyone does all that !! Bless your heart
Just go spoil yourself Spend the money on you!! !! And get whatever you WANT!!!
First of all, it is ok to spoil your man but if he won’t EVER return the kindness, start spending your money on thing u want. If he is going to spend his money on him , then buy yourself somerhing
You are being taken for granted. Selfish men been there x 2, then said No More!!!
Better off single!
I don’t think he was raised to be thoughtful and considerate. Some people are takers. It never crosses their mind to reciprocate and probably never will. The old saying you can’t change people they have to want to change. You sound like the opposite of him and I hope the children follow your example of giving. He’s lucky to have you, he just doesn’t know it!!
You said it yourself; you’re a simple woman. He knows you enjoy movies, flowers. Etc so thats all he knows to do for you; things you said YOU liked. He won’t know what else you like unless you tell him. If there’s something you want, definitely bring it up to him as he does for you
Since those relationships didn’t work out with gifts, he probably relates those things together…then along comes you! It has nothing to do with you personally, it’s learned behavior from him.
I once hinted at my husband that I wanted a pair of diamond stud earring, he told me to go buy them, he wasn’t a mind reader. So every once and a while I’ll come home and let him. Know what he bought me. He’s happy and I’m happy, he’s guy like that.
Mine is the same way so i stopped buying things for him. Bday xmas… Of i didn’t get anything i wasn’t wasting my energy love and money on him… I went as far as stopped having sex with him due to the lack of appreciation. If you are telling him this os what i need from you to feel appreciated and loved and he straight up refuses then he doesn’t respect you or love you… I found someone who would and said f you I’m out… Get him tv dinners too… Don’t settle for less because you love him. If he can’t show the same then he really doesn’t… Sorry it sucks
Men are oblivious to gifts as a love language. Mine lets me know verbally every day and the flowers got old so I had to tell him to stop. Now it is actions, opens my door, carries in sacks from the car and I get spoiled to not having to make extra steps to go get something. COMMUNICATION is the key you are missing. Tell him what you need to feel appreciated bet it happens. You could even say Kroger sells flowers.
I mean I don’t deal with all the extra stuff but I don’t get showered with stuff either. It’s not all about materials.
My husband buys me gifts all the time. I don’t have an income so I can’t buy him things but he doesn’t expect me to. I take care of the kids and make his meals and he appreciated that. People have different ways of doing things.
Yeah unfortunately some guys just don’t get it. But I would definitely let him know it bothers you and hurts your feelings. Everyone enjoys surprises sometimes, even if it’s something small it’s just the thought and knowing that they were thinking about you
I think it’s a guy thing! We plan things and get excited about things men probably don’t even think twice about! But I do love surprises and sweet things also!
Buy the stuff for yourself. Spoil yourself. If he doesn’t do it . Or let him know how you feel. Sometimes men are just men . They need to be told how you feel . Or hinted at because they just don’t know . He may just think your ok with it . Because you haven’t said nothing. I definitely understand woman like to be showed appreciation. Just even little things . I can’t even imagine. How that must feel . I’m blessed my hubby shows me all the time . Even with little things that mean the most . Some guys just don’t think of that kinda stuff . But let him know .
Go buy them yourself! He knows he already has you! Don’t take it too personal
Tell him. He doesn’t read your mind. And stop comparing your relationship to his passed ones, that’s just a waste of energy.
Stop chasing him! Get busy doing something for you. Be interesting, be feminine, be busy! He can hire a maid!
Men are not mind readers, neither are us women. He hints what he would like, but do you hint as well? Even it’s for flowers!
Communication is a main factor in a marriage/relationship.
I’d suggest reading the 5 love languages together. It’s possible he doesn’t understand the importance of expressing love in the language you need him to.
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts https://www.amazon.com/dp/080241270X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_NDF853DG8GTGAXAJC52E
After 24+ years, you have to tell them what you want. They are oblivious.
I know my partner never received anything fro his previous wife and relationships. I come along and always buying him gifts, clothing,tools,hats etc. He was not used to receiving anything so I changed that and eventually he started doing it in return. I wouldn’t take it too personal. Talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel and maybe he could surprise you sometime.
It’s a guy thing.
But can I ask why gifts is what you need to know that he loves you?
Material items don’t matter.
Maybe he thinks you are similar to him and that if you want something you get it yourself or drop hints?
I buy them myself, got tired of waiting for them …. He will buy me flowers now but
That’s how you showed him how to treat you. You need to tell him or deal with it.
Well at least you know now you’re being taken for granted
Start treating yourself instead. You’ll be able to get the things you want and you’ll be happier.
U need to tell him from now on ur guna stop buying him shit…n r only going to spoil urself since he dosent do it
The money you spend on him, spend on yourself
Yes you are being taken for granted stop doing it all tell him how you feel
Closed mouths dont get fed, ask him for things u want! Like “omg babe i really want this, let me send u the amazon link” lol
You’re being taken for granted. Stop buying him anything and if you have tried talking to him about this and it hasn’t changed then start buying yourself things and saying " oh look what I bought myself since you never seem to be able to buy me anything or pay attention to me" but first just tell him how you feel
Stop buying the things “he wants” and buy what you want, you first
Communication is key. No one here knows your marriage, but it sounds like your expectations are getting shot down because you think he’s a mind reader instead of communicating with him your wants. Communicate, communicate, communicate. He can’t do something that he doesn’t know you want. Women are nourishing and we think of simple surprises, men aren’t, and they don’t think about it, honestly.
People have and speak different love languages. All you need to do is express that to him
Sounds materialistic to me If there is stuff you want, buy it for yourself You mentioned that you get him things … never give and then be upset when you don’t receive. Give just to give.
Same, girl. Same. Buy what you want. If he complains then tell him how you feel about it.
start spoiling yourself
Buy yourself flowers
Buy yourself treats
dont spoil him.
Stop treating him you are left feeling not good enough.
Be proud of your business and give him a little shock with less attention.
Buy yourself something you’ve been wanting and if he asks you about it tell him thank you honey
Stop buying him shit & buy whatever it is that you want.
He doesn’t really ask you to get him things either- you feel obligated to from hints…just stop. Some people are built to take take take and some people are built to pour pour pour. Takers can’t give, the don’t recognize it as a thing that’s even an option for them. You know which type you are and which type he is. Only the person pouring will change if they want to see change. Buy something nice with your money for you. Buy something nice with his money for you too. Win win
Communication is key. Tell him how you’re feeling. Doesn’t sound like yo I have yet.
Stop buying for him and buy for yourself
I started buying myself stuff lol
How someone treats you , is How they feel about you. Period.
Communication talk to him let him know how you feel
Write on the bathroom mirror in lipstick…I love gifts and surprises too
Read the five love languages…
That’s tough I’m so sorry…
This reminds me of that book. The 5 Love Languages.