So my child’s father and I split up a few months ago and things were very hard he wouldn’t work with me on anything only against me. He used to let me call my daughter every night to say goodnight or ask how her night was the days she was with him since I agreed to 50 50 custody with out court but than he stopped letting me call her etc. I have never refused any phone calls of his to her and still don’t he has recently got a girlfriend within the last month and decided that he’s too busy with “work” that he can’t do 50 50 anymore I’m fine with it because more time for me I just wish he wanted the same. Since he brought his girlfriend around my daughter last week and didn’t tell me until after she was around her even though we had an agreement to meet someone if they were going to be around our child this was last Thursday she met my daughter And has only been around her 2 times and last night I found out my daughter was going to sleep at this girls house where idk where it is or anything at all so he’s jumping into his hard what do you think I should do? I get I don’t have a say when she’s with dad but I’m not comfortable with my daughter sleeping at this girls house when she barely knows her she’s only 3 and what if she doesn’t feel comfortable to ask to go to the bathroom or something or since she has a big dog at home she plays with what if this girls dog doesn’t like that she can play with my dog comfortable and gets bit etc
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Don't feel comfortable with my ex's new GF - Mamas Uncut
I would stop her going to his house until he can follow the rules y’all agreed on.
Go through the court for custody and visitation. In Louisiana there can be no overnight stays with anyone romantically involved with outside of marriage. Also he wouldn’t be able to deny you contact with her while she is in his custody.
Modification. Does your agreement state each parent is to withhold communication with the minor while in the other parents care? Mine does and let me tell you if he refused to let me speak to my daughter I’d blast his messages. Get custody modification’s as that can be considered alienation
If you dont have a legal agreement he can do w.e. He can also keep the kid & not give her back. I would go get something written up to cover yourself & daughter. However, most likely if you say anything about her being around their gf they will tell you to bad its his time & day, as long as they rnt putting child in danger
How do you know, he isn’t going to stay with them? Also, you truly have no say, who he brings around her when she’s with him. He could also drop her off with anyone he trusts, even if you don’t approve of it during his time. If you don’t like it and he doesn’t want to work with you on it, I’d go the court way so you can maybe have more of an order. My sons father, met his now wife while she was an inmate and he was a corrections officer and I knew her from school. To say I wasn’t happy, was an understatement and where I’m from, nothing the judge would do even if we wanted something in our order of it.
There’s nothing you can do. Let it be and just enjoy your time with your daughter. Don’t be one of those bitter baby mommas because trust me, they are lil bags of annoying hell and never go away.
You need to get a lawyer and take him to mediation. He’s already shown he doesn’t respect you as the mother of his child and doesn’t respect the agreement y’all made outside of court (presumably to save money) so now it’s time to have a court put the agreement in writing.
I get u being upset. Totally understandable. BUT the 2 of your worked out a verbal agreement. It doesn’t hold water. If you want make things a certain way you need take him to court and see if they will allow what you are asking. Unless you have proof it’s hurting the child court may not even enforce what your asking. Other then court you have no way of enforcing the verbal agreement.
Yeah well whatever you do don’t listen to the person up there that says there’s “nothing you can do” because that’s not true. In my decree, it specifically states there’s to be no communication with a new boyfriend or girlfriend until it turns serious, as in marriage. (and for the record, for the people talking about “bitter baby mamas” those rules apply to ME as well. that means there will be no new boyfriend coming around either ) you hire a good attorney and you take his butt to court and have it in writing and if he can’t abide by the rules he will get his visitation taken from him. But what I keep seeing over and over on these post is that you guys keep thinking these idiots are going to “keep their word” if they were men of their word you wouldn’t be in the position you’re in, I had to learn that the hard way too. I don’t play around no more💯
Take him to court!!! It will cover both your butts. My husband paid child support for 12 years with no court order and stopped paying when his ex wouldn’t let him see his daughter anymore. It definitely has bit him in the ass.
Unless you have a court order stating you both are not allowed to do certain things then there is literally nothing you can do. Go to court.
I’d stop letting her go until we settled everything in court.
This needs to be brought up in court. Depending on the state, there are agreements that can be made about who your child is in contact with when at her father’s house.
You need to go thru the courts at this point for the safety of your daughter. It sounds like your an amazing mom who just wants the best for her child♥️ you keep doing everything as normal but go the courts ASAP! You got this momma! Your a mamma bear and you must protect you cub no matter what♥️
Both Patents need to think of their kids and not their selfish selves…
Lmao all this commenta on GET FULL CUSTODY, QUIT LETTING HER GO.
so when new stepdad is in the house its all cool but as soon as the girlfriend comes around then theres a big issue and yoju want the courts involved typical.
Girl let it be, quit trying to control what goes on at his house, he is capable enough as you are to keep that child safe.
You start off by saying “I dont feel comfortable with the new girlfriend” no girl its not the girlfriend ITS YOUR EX’s attitude quit trying to blame all your problems on the girlfriend.
If theres no legal agreement you dont have to let your daughter go with him during that time if your not comfortable, but I highly suggest you get it legal that way it’s in black and white and you dont have to worry about guessing
FYI
You better get the court involved. He’ll do as he pleases cuz you have no authority over him.
These out if court situations always turn bad.
Can you prove the girlfriend isn’t safe for the baby to be around? If not, this sounds super petty
This doesn’t sound petty to me at all. I couldn’t imagine my child, at the small age of 3 especially, staying the night in an environment she doesn’t know? That’s just crazy to me. This needs to be done legally that way he is doing his part. If you feel in your gut something shouldn’t be, then listen. Your concerns are valid. I dont understand these men and women introducing strangers in and out of their kids lives all the time. That has to have an effect on the kids.
If dad is comfortable with the sleeping situation and your child is safe and well taken care of then you can’t “do” anything. What happens on dad’s time is dad’s decision to make
Go get her, bring her home.
Get to know her. I’m sure he loves his daughter enough to make sure she is safe. I would hope so anyways.
Does your daughter like her?
Not to mention… is your child sharing a bed with with them when they sleep at the new girlfriend’s house-- that inappropriate if so… and if she is, are they engaging in sexual activity with the child in the bed? I wouldn’t put that past them.
Something nobody likes to think about-- the girl could be a weirdo. Yes, it’s very unlikely. But don’t ever think it can’t happen to you. You are the mom, protect your child.
You can have this outlined in your parenting plan, if a judge deems it reasonable.
However what Dad does on his time is just that. I know it is hard!!! Very hard. But he is her father and has every right to not answer your calls during his time. He has every right to make decisions about who his daughter is around and where they stay the night. These are the same things he will be upset about when you start dating.
Nope. Dont let her go to someone’s house you don’t know. If he pushes it go back to court.
Go to court, otherwise there is nothing you can do!
Go to court and get court ordered custody
My ex had my 5 month around his new girl two weeks after we split. I know how hard it is… we too aren’t settled thru court and just agreed on 50/50 and what works for us and our schedule. Praying you get some answers that help you and some peace of mind 
You have every right to know the person your daughter is staying with when you are not around.
Get a court order. There’s a “morality clause “ that states neither one of u can have a person ur in a relationship with around the child between certain hours, like 8pm-8am. I’m not saying she is a bad person or dad is either for staying over with the child. But If you don’t want him to then you need to get a court order for visitation & have your attorney include the clause.
My child’s father and i share 50/50 custody and have a custody agreement, holiday schedule, financial agreement, do’s and dont’s all listed in it. It states we cannot have an overnight guest(boyfriend/girlfriend) while the child is present at the home.
Get to court he is unreasonable bc he thinks your going to cave like you done in the past put this idiot in his place that’s what I’m in the process of doing
Honestly, there’s nothing you can do. Because even if you get a court order, he’s still allowed to take her there. He can do what he wants with his parenting time. I would try to get to know her, but that’s really all I can think of.
Not much you can do unless it is outlined in your custody order🤷🏼♀️
“You have no say” lmao ooookay. Go to court. If he can’t do it civilly between you two, take him to court. Keep track of how often you have her too, that’ll help in winning custody battles.
Go back to court and have a “No habitation” clause added to your custody agreement.
Just remember, that also applies to you when you start dating as well. Lots of parents forget its a two way street.
Go to court, make it legal, but don’t expect to be able to control who he has around while he has the child. You wouldn’t want him telling you that you can’t have this person around just because he doesn’t like them, would you?
You’re going to have to get over some things now that you two have split and share custody, your life has changed and so has his. Just focus on making your kid happy and don’t worry so much about your feelings towards girlfriends
We went to court, and the judge specifically said I have the right to know where my child sleeps every night even on dads time. So I wouldn’t be ok with her staying somewhere and not knowing.
Your daughter isn’t able to fully communicate, I’d get a set order because it seems like things will get messy.
You’ve got 15 years of co parenting ahead of you with your ex, you cannot control who he sees or where he goes with your child.
So many bitter baby moms on this post 
A lot of you are making me mad with your responses! She says they just split a couple months ago and has a new person around her daughter that is only 3 and staying there! It’s not like they’ve been split for a long time. This in general is a big adjustment for a 3 year old. I think it’s messed up the father can’t be understanding his daughter is still probably adjusting to mommy and daddy splitting and now having his daughter around a new women and staying the night. No she can’t control what he chooses to do but if this was my baby I’d demand respect of TIME for my child to adjust before introducing sleepovers.
The real issue is you are upset the ex has moved on. I doubt your Daughter’s Dad would put her in any harm. The new GF isn’t a threat to you you are and will always be Mummy x
My ex husband is the same way. The moment I started seeing someone after we were divorced, he came to my house and started a fight, and told me I needed to stop seeing other people or he would take me to court for full custody. But he’s been through multiple women and each time I didn’t know he was seeing anyone and he’d go against me, and then use that woman he was with at the time to court with him to say I was a bad mom and I threw out all the evidence with my lawyer and he got scolded by the judge each time. Mind you my ex is a narcissist and extremely manipulating. The moment I stopped bowing down to him and put my foot down he threatened court again and told my now husband I’d forever be his property no matter what.
Nothing you can do until it’s through court. Just documnent everything how often he has her and how often he doesn’t even if you guys agreed to thing if it’s not court ordered he doesn’t have to follow what yall agree upon even though ya its rude cuz yall already came to that agreement. By law you do have a right to know where your child sleeps at night for safety reasons but Definitely get everything through court and document everything just to cover both your guys butts coparenting isn’t easy especially on the kids maybe sit down and talk with both if them and explain that you aren’t upset about him seeing someone new only thing your concerned about your daughter adjusting to not onky you guys splitting up and having two house holds now and going from one parent to the other and now a stepmother figure in the picture and you want to make sure everything is in the best interests of the child between all parties best of luck mama me and my sons father been split up for 3 years my son is almost 4 and it’s still a mess sadly 
When I was divorcing until there was legal paper work the cops told me there was nothing they can do. They can only act on “court orders”
With out an order in place he has just as much rights to do what he pleases as you do.
I would personally advise getting a legal child custody agreement.
My ex an I get along ok now. But in the beginning it was rough and he had a revolving door at his house. My kids saw things I wish they didn’t have to
Once we went to court all the “unknowns” were established such as days, pick up times and locations ect
It was also in my paperwork that we both needed to be in a committed relationship for 3 months before the new spouse was allowed around the children, and we each had to be notified who the other was.
It makes it so that only people either of you are serious about get to be around the kids and they don’t have to go through the attachment and loss every other week.
It doesn’t have to mean, and if it’s something you both agree to the filing can go quickly and smoothly. But I strongly recommend getting something in writing for your own piece of mind.
If they decide to move or leave town with out a custody agreement both your and the cops hands will be tied.
Good luck
If he’s trying to be with her why he sending her for sleep over
Her dad is with her., isn’t he???
You can pray that hopefully one day he will just go away but until then there’s nothing you can do as he is her father but take him to court and have it in writing but then again if he doesn’t comply there’s nothing you can do but take him back to court again 
With a very young child involved you must get the xourts involved so you have legal limits. Period!
You need to take him to court. There is nothing you can do legally until you have a court order
And this is why they recommend not doing it out of court. Go to court and get things in writing then he can’t just decide to do whatever he wants. Because yes, legally right now you have no say but you could if you get a parenting plan in place
Go 2 court 2 get specifics done. If it were u though would u expect him 2 feel the same way? He’s asked that u revise custody 4 whatever reason so he can spend time with her when he can and be responsible about it. I’d defiantly want 2 meet and get 2 know this person before u go assuming u arnt going 2 like her or that she’s in harm’s way. Have a park play date with all of u or go 4 coffee with her. When my husband and I separate I’m going 2 put it in the agreement that nobody comes around the kids unless the other agrees on it 1st. Iv always said that if we ever split and the other moved on that would be the case because although we can’t control the others relationships, it isn’t healthy 4 a child 2 constantly get attached 2 someone or meet new people every time they are with the other parent. While u can’t control what he does on their time u also have a say IF U CAN PROVE she’s being harmed. Otherwise ur just being jealous or petty. Don’t be that person.
What he does during his time with her is his business, not yours. Too many moms out there believe that they should have more control over the children than the dads do. But that is just asinine. She is just as much his daughter as she is yours. Sorry but the truth hurts sometimes.
When I got with my boyfriend a few months back (I’ve known him for years) we dated for like a month in a half before I let him meet my kids! But we where together like two months before I let my kids come stay the night with us! When it was my turn with the kids I took them to my moms and stayed with them! Again I’ve known him for years! But now he accepts my kids as his own an he loves them to death and I 100% trust him! But if it was any other guy I probably wouldn’t let him meet my kids until after 3 months of dating and no sleep overs with us until prob 6-8 months of being together! Because you can’t just trust no one!!! My children’s father moved a girl in like 2 days after dating her an he learned his lesson fast because that girl was CRAZY! and he hasn’t been with anyone since because she scared him so bad 
You actually absolutely have a say about your daughter spending the night at someone you don’t knows house without you or the other parent. But definitely have it court mandated the times that he should have her, if he doesn’t want her that’s fine but you don’t have to make up time if he doesn’t want her. You can also have the meeting of S.O.s in the court paperwork. So that you meet a girlfriend (and he meets a boyfriend) before your daughter does.
Unless you have something that can prove that the girlfriend is not safe to be around then you can’t have a say on what or who dad is around! He loves his child and has her with him! There are a lot of parents who choose not to be in their kids life!
You kinda just have to take a deep breath and understand you have no control or right to keep him from bringing people you don’t know into her life. Kinda just part of being a broken family. He does not have to introduce her to you and has every right to let her stay the night at her house as much as it sucks. If the dog gets aggressive or bites her or anything, you can contact animal control and the police department but other than that there’s really nothing you can do. I would do a court ordered custody agreement though like make it legal but without it being legal he can actually keep her as long as he wants. But as for bringing her around people you don’t know, not much you can do unless they hurt her or are doing drugs or stuff like that around her sadly.
You got 15 years of co-parenting ahead. Go to the courts get everything in writing.
He is her dad and you need to trust he won’t put her in harm’s way . Let it go and worry about the time you spend with your daughter and not his time he spends with her
There really isn’t anything you can do. You have no day when she’s with dad on his parenting time. Just like he has no say when it’s your parenting time. You should be able to trust the judgement of her father. As he should be able to trust your judgement on your parenting time. Eventually, you’ll meet someone too. And you won’t want him telling you who you can or can’t have around her.
I would be telling him exactly how U feel & I wouldn’t allow it, I don’t listen to people that say U don’t have a say, load of shit, of course U do, if U don’t feel good about it then there must be a reason, your her mum & have every right to make sure she is safe & that you & your daughter are both comfortable with it.
Oh hell no I’d be going back to court. Get full custody. That’s bull. If the baby isnt comfortable then there’s something wrong. Listen to her.
These situations happen everyday. Now you need to meet this person and find out what she’s about. If your daughter is staying at her house for any length of time you need to know were it is. You might find his new girlfriend and you get along well. It’s better for the child to see you all getting along and thinking of her happiness and well being.
I agree …why should your child go to a place you don’t know. Have your legal limits.
You have every rights to know who this woman is and how she treats your daughter because you are your daughter’s mom and advocate. I won’t shut my mouth and regret it later
Get court arrangements asap. Get in writing that he asked for less than 50/50. Get primary so you can make final decisions especially if he’s not letting you call her or her call you. As for the girlfriend, yeah that’s messed up. Yes he’s the dad, but his judgement doesn’t seem to be in your daughters best interest. Best thing I can say is talk to him like it’s a discussion. ONLY mention how your daughter might feel or how it would affect her. Do NOT mention I, me, or my. Make it all about your daughter, and if he still doesn’t see what damage he could be causing, then that’s why you’ll need the court order. I waited months before my daughter met my now husband. I have always been a long term relationship person, very careful who I choose to date and when I do, it’s not a temporary thing. My ex is the opposite. He has flings and on and off relationships and I seriously considered having a detail added to the order about meeting new partners. I’ve seen kids go through losing multiple step parent figures due to breakups and it’s hard and will cause trust and abandonment issues.
If she is paying child support her rights should have never been terminated in fact didn’t they go to a go between where she should have been told her rights schedule for visitation etc u less his mom adopted the baby what rights would she have she is only a grandmother no rights go get your kid the Grandma is kidnapping