Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Dreading Christmas, what do I do? - Mamas Uncut
Doeshe have adhd? It really sound like that is a possibility.
Thereās really no excuse for his behavior. If he wanted to he would. Period.
Sounds careless and selfish to me
Tell him to set an alarm a week or two before the event to remember to go shop. Maybe this will help him remember.
I think itās nice he does that for his ex and their grandmotherā¦ But there is no excuse not to do it for you.
Get him one small present. Do Not shop for any X. Go buy what YOU want wrap and put it under the tree. And when heās upset because he didnāt get you anything, smile and say thatās ok Iām leaving up to Santa because I know how busy you are. Donāt make a fuss. Enjoy
Sounds like heās playing games
Your not a priority Iām sorry to say heās a jerk shows his true colors wonāt change until u demand som respect for yourself get rid of him youāll be better off
Donāt buy him anythingā¦ and donāt buy his ex anything either. Take your daughter shopping give her some money and tell her to pick you something out.
Okay he procrastinates in hopes maybe youāll just buy the stuff . And The fact that he is still buying his ex mother in law ANYTHING 
he donāt buy for you donāt buy him shit
Tell him to grow the fuck up and stop buying shit for the ex in-laws. You and your/his kids come first
At this point I wouldnāt even do a gift exchange.
No you are not overreacting
Sounds like he is still hung up on the ex and does for exās family more than for youā¦Iād say it is time to really have a sit down talk about it. Stop buying for him and donāt buy for any ex anything of his period. If he canāt be thoughtful to his current WHY is he so focused on his ex and exās family??
Idk if this will help. But it REALLY helped my husband and I. We went through something similar. Now I have a wishlist on Amazon. A month before Xmas I send it to him. Then 2 weeks before I send it again and say āit is 2 weeks until Christmas. Please donāt forget to look at thisā itās worked 2 years in a row now. I know it seems like extra work but itās better than being disappointed, and this year my husband even went off list and got me some awesome stuff I didnāt request. He said my list gave him inspiration
My husband never got me a gift for any birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas and motherās day etc. I usually cried everytime. Until finally he surprised me yesterday with two lovely gifts. Although he wrapped them like 2 minutes before he gave them to me haha. Some men are like this, I am not saying that as an excuse though it just is what it is. I know my husband loves me, he just doesnāt like doing gifts.
Sounds like youāre an option not a priorityā¦
People treat you how you let them treat you. You are not a priority.
Leaveā¦actions speak louder than words.
Why do women stay in these type of relationshipsā¦if your not happyā¦get out!!! Or are you just desperate to have a man, which he is not!!! Or money, should be adult enough to be making your own.
Probably why heās an ex in the first place!
Donāt give him anything so he can see how it feelsā¦
He a dickhead and a straight up wanker.
Youāre not overreacting. Put in the same effort that he puts in which is nothing! Donāt buy him anything and do not buy his ex anything.
Iām sorry youāre hurting!! You have every right to be upset. Christmas, birthday, Valentineās Day, ect alllll land on the same day EVERY YEAR!! There is no excuse for him not to get you something, heās had an ENTIRE year to get you a gift (even if he has to save, plan it out, or buy it early and hide it)
Sounds like your his side piece and heās still in love with his ex.
The dude is a dumpster fire. Send him packing. He can hand deliver those goddamn flowers to the ex when he moves back in with her.
Married 30 years been together 33 years and have 3 kids. My husband and I have never really gave each other gifts at first it did bother me a little but the way I look at it is he works full time (I have never worked) pays all bills does things around the house and for me so that is my gift year around and I keep house clean cook etc for him and that works for us. So maybe look at what he does or how he provides for you instead of looking for a gift?
He sounds like a class act. Heās not going to change. Either you do something about it finally or you continue to tolerate his behavior and quit complaining about it. Quit sitting around and letting the man make you feel like crap. There are plenty out there who wonāt do that
Heās just cold and uncaring!!! Itās not the āpresentsā ā¦.it doesnāt have to break a bankā¦ but people think of the other people they care for most!!! Find yourself a better partner that is into you and your family not his ex anything! Unless itās ex AND everyone else!!!
The fact that he gaslights you and makes you feel guilty and in the wrong for his carelessness is honestly the biggest issue. Gifts arenāt important to everyone, but him being abusive because theyāre important to you is NEVER ok. This behavior in particular should never be tolerated, especially repeatedly. Heās extremely emotionally immature and this pattern of behavior wonāt improve until he is cognizant of it and ready to change. Heās being toxic and emotionally manipulative.
I donāt get the whole thing that you allow this. He shows you every single time that he has no care for you or your feelings but too many times you said he threw a fit if you mentioned it and he verbally and emotionally Acts like a child. So just throwing a fit is to make you feel like you have to back off and allow him to act like a boy. Then to throw salt to the wound he has to get something for the ex-mother-in-law and you force yourself to drag your kids with you and buy her something or you were considered a horrible person. You are allowing yourself to get hurt you are allowing yourself to see your children get hurt only you have allowed all of this and participated in it all. The only way to change it is to quit participating and find a man not the boy youāre with. Try to make it your New Yearās goal to show your kids that they will not be subjected to that type of behavior or you will be looking at your next generation of men throwing a fit as a boy man doing the same thing. Good luck making better decisions for yourself and for your children.
I think you need a better boyfriend. He puts no effort into you and your needs. Back away and leave the relationship.
Just my opinion but you should stop putting in ANY effort to get the ex something or the ex mother in law flowers or even your husbandā¦ Stop expecting things also. Invest your energy into buying yourself things or experiences that fulfill your soul and make you happy. Period. You need to match his energy.
My husband and I Do not exchange gifts once in a while we will get eachother something we really need but thatās it. We get his parents and our kids gift
You mean āhis kidsā mom and grandmotherā. Itās more than likely for the children to have something from them to these people in their lives. Unless heās handing it to them personally then thatās a problem.
Also, narcissists ruin holidays on purpose. If itās a pattern, it will continue unless you do something drastic. Otherwise, Iād cut my losses and move on.
You have been Lied too Disrespected & Hurt by this Selfish person who is also the cause of you dreading something you Love yet you choose to stay with this person??(??
Leave, he is more worried about his ex mil then you, says it all
These day fall at the same time every year. So itās no surprise that Christmas came. He can by for the ex but not for the woman he lays beside everyday. Say shoo fly, dont bother me and move on.
Ur boyfriend sucks!!!
Some people just arenāt good at giving giftsā¦meā¦i am terrible at figuring out what to give peopleā¦itd be easier for me if they just said what they wanted.
My husband would ask me what I wanted.Id say what ever.So now every occasion I buy my own gift.Usually diamonds.Then I tell him thank you.Look what u bought me.Hed say do u like it.Of course silly.Then hes happy.
Youāve got a full blown narcissist on your hands. He āforgetsā and then has a fit? And tells you heās going to have a fit because he did it again? Once is an accident, any more and itās a very obvious choice. Also, by getting stuff for literally everyone else, heās really making sure that you know you were neglected. But thatās an excuse for HIM to have a fit? GIRL!!!
RUN.
Itās only going to get worse and do you really want to be around for this bullshit in 10 years? Waste your time, money and beauty on this joker??? You deserve the world. The bar was on the floor and he STILL couldnāt bother. Iāll tell you a secret - itās because he doesnāt want to.
When you finally realize what theyāre not bringing to the table youll walk away from the table
Heck no ! No man would be doing that with me especially an ex anythingā¦
It sounds like he has some anxiety around the issue of maybe picking and buying a gift. Do you give him clear, concise ideas? Some people just suck at shopping and being around crowds.
Well not sure why you guys care about the ex and the in-laws just send a Christmas card. He need to let them go and why would you help with his ex??Stop buying him shit and have a friend or someone else take your daughter shopping for you. However do realize men donāt care how we feel about the holidays. I used to love Christmas but now I donāt and itās not about the gifts. All I get is attitude just because he hates Christmas it comes out in everyone else. Iām done I give up. Hugs
Why are you still hanging around this toolā¦ you are taking care of all his needs and he is complaining because you expect some attention and love and caring from himā¦ YOU WILL NEVER GET ANY KIDNESS FROM HIMā¦ Geezz woman kick him outā¦
He sounds like a Narcissist! Basically blaming you and purposely Startin an argument! He is your choice and you are complaining? Get rid of him
The onley way you can put a end to it is STOP BYING. hem aney thing. Donāt by hem aney thing. In tell he byes for you. FRIST. !!!
Wait so he buy his so called ex mother in law flowers and not u yeah no ur feelings are valid
He would be living with his ex MIL!!!
No, I would be livid. Itās the actions that matter. He seems to be more concerned about his ex than you. My husband isnāt perfect. He gets me a bunch of gifts, they arenāt pricey. They arenāt like āOMG guys He went to Jaredā like the commercials, but he gets me a bunch of things that he KNOWS I love. Like this year it was mostly Harry Potter themed. He knows Iām a geek so I geek out and Iām fine with it.
Itās the intention and thoughts behind it. That dude is doing minimum effort.
yes you have a right to be upset. My husband never got me any kind of gift for any ocassion. It does hurt. Through and through. Donāt get him anything else, ever, for any ocassion. He needs to know how it feels.
Why does he feel and you except that he gets flowers for his EX- MOTHER - IN - LAW for every occasion? The word is " Ex" meaning done and over unless heās keeping good graces with the mother - in - law to get back with the daughter. He acts like a child but heās mastered manipulating you. Your children see this, is this how you want them to act when they get older.
I am going through the same thing. I am always put off and always cancelled on by him. But he has time 4 his exās family his kids and the rest of his family but me and my kids are always last on his list guys do not think the way that we do. They donāt think about their actions or the consequences of their actions. Women are different we think of how our actions will affect other people. Guys just are not built that way. So from me to you going through the same stuff I want to tell you Merry Christmas and you are important
His trying to stay on good terms with his ex mother in law in hopes of reuniteing with his ex wifeā¦
No! Youāre not overreacting! Even getting his ex MIL something and not you?! Seems he is trying to impress his ex in my opinion. Idk if itās to make her jealous or to get her back, but you know.
Girl he is gaslighting you! Are you gonna keep letting him run this game on you in 2022
Stop buying for him & his kidsā¦. As for your ālil one, take her shopping & tell her to pick something (in your price range) & when she finds something, donāt look at what she picked, go to the register & have her pay for it, while youāre still not looking. Take her home, give her wrapping paper, tape & let her go all out for you. Itāll be special for both of you 
My question is when he gets mad because he āforgot to get you a giftā does he leave for the evening when he acts like this?
I would find a different boyfriend
Donāt get him anything
Iāve been with my SO almost 12 years. Heās NEVER bought me a Christmas gift, birthday, Valentines, Mothers Day (we share 2 kids). I use to go all out his B-day, Fatherās Day, Valentines, Christmas. Now I donāt do anything. I got sick of it. Itās just the thought of him not even considering me. Doesnāt have to be anything big, but he doesnāt even consider me. So I stopped. I also stopped buying for his mom. He wants her to have a gift he should go buy it !
I wouldnāt buy him a damn thing ever again and ignore his birthday too. š¤·š»āā
If a man wanted to he would. He has you where he wants you and if heās doing stuff like that for other people then heās trying to find his way back in their life
Red flags stop buying him anything. Treat yourself. Take care of the gifts for your Children and yourself. Donāt wait for anyone to celebrate you. Meanwhile he needs to take a hike. Heās gaslighting you, making excuses. That behavior of caring more about gift for an ex-in law than gifting you something, it is odd.
Thatās his way of staying in his exes life. She has probably told him to stay the hell out of her life and her mother is a way to keep tabs on her if he stays friendly with her mother. I would question why he is buying her flowers to begin with.
Stop buying his bs. If he wanted to get you something he would have. He is fake mad. Stop doing for someone who will clearly never change and do for you.
Wait! What!, if he canāt be bothered anytime of the year with what he has in front of him then GOOD BYE.
Some people are terrible at holidays and then project it on to you . I say dont let it ruin your holiday. If he tries to gaslight your gift giving or his lack of just move past it , then later explain your basic expectations, if he doesnāt get it then move along.
Definitely with the wrong person. 
Drop him like a bad habit
Itās really not his job to help your daughter get you something unless heās her dadā¦
You seem to really care and also seem to have shared it with your daughter. My girls make me pictures and cards on their own, and have since their dad and I got divorced (they were 3&4 at the time).
You should probably take a deep look at you and be honest about the fact that you are upset about not getting gifts and then move forward from there.
If youāve told him you donāt care about gifts, heās not going to get you something. And then heās going to get upset when you say something about it when he doesnāt (which is what looks like happens).
It kind of sounds like heās still in love with his ex wife.
Tell him to go back to his mother in law and baby mama,cause right now it does not seem like you are any priority of his, let him go
Your man is not treating you or your daughter right. And if itās been going on this long itās unlikely to change. So sorry 
He gets mad at you because he didnāt get you a gift? Just run. As far and fast as you can.
Why is it women get upset if they donāt get a damn gift
Really suck it up
Get rid of him his actions speak louder than words
Why let him hurt you any longer? Dump him and someone will come along way better. He is weird.
Heās only acting like that so he can pretend like he cares . Just stop getting him stuff Iām not gonna say leave because thatās your decision but he should be putting you & his kids first not anyone else he doesnāt owe a gift to no one but you & his kids & should be on top of that stuff if you are instead of throwing a fit like a child
Im guessing this will be an unpopular opinion but Christmas is not about getting giftsā¦ Christmas is about giving to others and being with family and friends. Iām not saying the thought isnāt nice time to time but I think we need to stop gauging other peoples love by what they buy us.
Who the fuck buys stuff for their ex in laws hello , and there is no way that I would help his kids buy stuff for their own mother , it seems like he cares about everyone but u , I would of taken my kid and leave until he learns to apriciate u the way u do him .
Girl if he wanted to, he would. Period.
If he wanted to, HE WOULD. And apparently the only one who seems to be priority is ex baby mamas mother? 
weird.
I donāt know why your even with him. You have no self worth. Wise up and move on until you find someone worthy of you.
He doesnāt even like you. Leave.
Give him the boot and donāt look back
Nope he cant bother to get u a gift on special days then he doesnt care about u and isnt worth your time what kind of man doesnt buy his gf a gift on valentineās day or Christmas drop him and find u a real man who cares enough to buy you something even if its just a card. My first Valentineās Day with my husband boyfriend at the time he couldnāt afford to give me a gift so he just got me a Valentineās Day card and it was a thought that count I was happy with the card because it showed me that he cared about me and even if he didnāt have the money he found a way to get me that card. Also same goes for women because I know a few women that do not buy there s o gifts on special days and the man always buys them gifts but they never even get anything on their birthday Christmas or Valentineās Day from them
He seems more concerned with another household so let him go join it.
Thatās really weird heās getting his ex mil something and not even a card for you. Kinda gross tbh
Why are you still with him???
He cares what they think, and what about what YOU think??? Let him worry in his own. If he has the time to worry for them then that means he needs no help remembering you. And if he forgets, well that should tell you enough of his priorities.
Okay, I am still very close with my exās family. And if his mother was still with us (rest her soul) damn right Iād give her gifts for holidays. She was an amazing woman (and a second mother to me). And so, my current S.O. we have been together 9 yrs. He genuinely hates the holidays (holidays were not kind to him as a child) I ALWAYS try to get him something regardless of how small or trivial it may seem to other people. I do not ever ask for anything in return. My parents always made sure we were well taken care of for any holiday growing up, and I am well aware not everyone is that lucky.
The smiles and laughter from my kids and hubby are all I could ever ask for on Christmas morning. 
Itās sounds like you are with a loser thatās still wrapped up on his ex. You could find someone who treats you better for sure.
Why in the hell would you stay? Serious questionā¦ If you arenāt valued by him, then you are undervaluing yourself
If it was me I would be going all kinds of crazy on his ass. I no itās hard to hear but if he donāt consider your feelings now after multiple attempts of you expressing how you feel then you got to leave xxxxx
First of all, the only people who throw fits and ruin Christmas are bratty ass children and intellectually immature adults. Second of all, he has proven how he truly feels about you year after year. Listen to what heās ātellingā you and leave him.