Every few months my boyfriends ex will decide to try and get in touch with him (they have no kids together, never married, only together a few months she cheated) he has shown me she will message him and shows me all that’s said and he even thinks it’s okay to respond to her. From what I’ve seen, nothing sexual or flirty had happened, but I’m not comfortable with it cause she always tried to get back with him. We just had problems with him lying and talking to someone when he said he wasn’t etc. and today his ex adds him again, and he doesn’t think it’s a problem and he shouldn’t have to block him even tho I told him I’m uncomfortable with it and would appreciate it if he cut the possibility of her messaging him out. But he’s fighting me on it saying she’s not bothering us so he shouldn’t have to. He went from telling me he’d block her to devising he didn’t want to. What are some of yall’s opinions on this? How can I make him see that it’s disrespectful and kinda fucked up he doesn’t care about how I feel on this situation when I’d never do it to him?
Do unto others what they do to you . People don’t like when you give them a taste of their own medicine .
If I dont like her, he doesn’t like her…it’s worked for my husband and me for 30 years!
Sounds familiar. First and foremost, if he is allowing another female to make you (your relationship) feel threatened, there’s a reason. He either likes entertaining multiples or he ain’t 100% sure about you and keeping his options open. Always trust your gut! If something feels wrong or off, usually there is.
Been there, done this. Trust yourself, always.
If it’s no inappropriate flirty or sexual it’s not a big deal. I’ve been mare for 18 yrs and still keep in contact with a few guys I dated usually to just catch up on the area I used to live in my hubby and I have a solid marriage I can have friends that are male
He doesn’t respect you
If he can’t respect you and has already proved to be a liar, he is not worth your time. This behavior will not change. You should tell him goodbye and find someone worth your time and energy.
It’s his responsibility to respect you and your relationship, not hers. If his track record shows dishonesty regarding other women, especially recently, I’d be ditching the boyfriend. You can’t “make” someone see or feel something if they don’t want to.
LEAVE him that is completely disrespectful
At least hes honest with it. If he lied to you and you found out that’s another different shit storm you’ll start.
I don’t tell my partner who he can and can’t talk to. He doesn’t tell me who I can and can’t talk to.
That being said, if either of us knew that talking to someone made the other uncomfortable, we would limit contact with that person. Neither would have to tell the other “don’t talk to this person”.
Honestly you can’t control who he speaks to and I think asking him to block people might be a bit extreme, at the end of the day you can’t control people’s actions and make them do anything. If it’s upsetting you and your not feeling like your getting the respect you deserve from him maybe it’s time to question whether the relationship is something you want to be in long term
It kind of sounds like he’s trying to keep her there as an option if he’s not willing to cut ties with her completely. And it sounds like she’s trying to play the innocent role knowing that it drives you insane because she’s “unintentionally “trying to drive a wedge between you two because a lot of times when men get mad at their partner they run to someone for comfort. And if you’ve already had a problem with him lying about talking to somebody then it sounds like he’s not the one. Maybe you should teach him a hard lesson and show him how good he’s got it by leaving him
He’s fighting for his right to communicate with an ex he has no attachment to even if it bothers you?
BYEEEEEEEEEEE
I’m friends with exes. I have no problem with whomever I’m dating being friends with exes. Don’t lie or try to hide it and we’re good.
So thats alittle whack… Obvioulsy hes making it clear that shes not going anywhere and its going to continue to message. Unfortunetly you cant tell him he cant talk to her so I guess break up with him if hes not willing to compromise with you on not talking to her… Sorry this is happening!
It honestly sounds like theres still interest if hes not wanting to block her and that he responds if u truly are happy and love who your with exes should not matter there should be no interest there in entertaining that
Hard one. I’m friends with my ex boyfriend (my 1st serious one actually) we’re on each others fbs and chat all the time. It’s all innocent, if they’re just mates, I don’t see the problem. It shows maturity actually
He needs to tell her to stop messaging him!!! Even though he shows you, he could be deleting msgs!!
You alone know what you’re comfortable with and what you will/won’t tolerate. Others can give advice but in the end the decision is yours to stay/go.
He needs too block her its disrespectful too u
Leave. I would never let that happen and I’d throw him out the door.
Add your ex’s n start chatting see if he likes it
Tell him he can have her then 
since he doesn’t respect you enough to stop making you uncomfortable.
If you don’t have trust…give it up
If he is showing you the messages and they aren’t flirty then I think you are being over controlling…
My ex was like this when ever he drank and that was all the time he would text his exes or random girls loved the attention if i was you id move on
Here’s the thing: he’s been up front and even showing you the messages which is obviously a good thing. But at the same time he’s not willing to block her or tell her the messages need to stop even though you have expressed it makes you uncomfortable. I dunno this is a tough one. Maybe just sit down with him and go over everything one more time explaining how you feel and why you feel it. And see how he reacts.
She keeps coming back for a reason. Keep that in mind.
Or is he only showing the messages that he didn’t delete
I know the right thing to say here is to talk to him again, tell him how your feel and why blah blah blah. But sounds like you’ve done that and it hasn’t helped. Personally, I’d probably go on his phone and block her myself and not tell him … but can be a crazy bitch like that 
Let him come to me and ask me if I blocked her or even let him unblock her and me find out. He’d be done.
If he won’t block her then he’s leaving the door open. I’d leave. It’s ok to have unresolved feelings for an ex but not ok to be in a relationship stringing someone along. Make it easy and say goodbye and good luck.
Leave without repeating yourself. He knows you feel and doesn’t care. Move on
I’m a top fan, ayeee I’ve never been a top fan of anyone.
He’s TOTALLY not over her and enjoys the attention. He will tell you it’s not true until he’s blue in the face, but if he doesn’t have enough respect for your relationship, then you know what to do. If he DOESNT BLOCK HER then he’s leaving the door open for her. It’s REALLY that simple.
I mean, I can’t tell you what to do or be comfortable with in your relationship, but for me it really wouldn’t be that big of a deal. For some reason women tend to think that when a man loves us and commits to us we have control over them. He’s still his own person, and honestly no amount of control or anything will keep a man faithful if he doesn’t want to be. 
you know him, so only you can know if he’s worth being with.
Well don’t look like he cares what you feel.
And then beat his ass.
Leave his ass after that.
If he doesn’t think it’s a problem and you do then he needs to go .you can’t make anyone change . And it seems like he’s not . It’ll be 10 yrs down the road and you’ll still be here trying to get advice how to change him. Throw the whole bf away imo
Women keep coming back for a purpose. They just ain’t talking to themselves. And if he’s getting defensive then well that’s a red flag.
if you don’t trust him then you shouldn’t be with him. You cant have a happy healthy relationship if you don’t have trust. If you think he should block someone to prevent a conversation you shouldn’t be with him, it shows you don’t have trust and without it you have nothing.
You’re his girlfriend not his wife or his mother. You have no right to tell him who he can or can’t speak to. You should be able to trust him if you can’t move on. He’s obviously kind enough to show you the messages. That’s more than most men would do
Dont waste your time with him unless you wanna share him.with his ex he’s probably using you tell him bye bye
If she doesn’t really mean anything to him and he knows it bothers you but continues to communicate with her anyways, then listen to what he’s really saying to you with that action. It’s your decision whether you want to settle for that type of behavior for the rest of your time together or not…
Start texting a male friend and see how long he does it.
Their called ex’s for a reason. You can’t give yourself to the future if hanging onto the past!
Maybe friends on FB okay but no messaging, phone calls, texts. It’s disrespectful and could cause problems down the road.
She is a; just in case you two don’t work out! He’s not totally committed! Move on!
YoU already told him how you feel and he didn’t care. My husband’s ex was like that and I opened up about how I felt and we moved far away from her, he blocked her from social media, phone , and even linkIn. Now we’re happy and peaceful.
If he finds it be no problems talking to her… Then tell him it should no problem for u or him to leave !
Wail he should respect you more I think he made he’s choice. Let him go make it clear .me or her no it’s ands or Buts it’s over you deserve better. Good luck 
Honestly if he’s showing you it’s a good thing. My ex is now married and has twins, I have been with my fiance for 9yrs and we have 3 kids. Both my fiance and I talk to my ex. We were on again off again and split for a reason. My ex and his family helped me get out of a tough spot and his mom is still someone I know I can turn to for advice and she won’t sugar coat it. As far as I know his wife is ok with it or he would have told me she wasn’t ok with us speaking and I would have apologized to her directly. We live in Kentucky and my ex lives in Louisiana… we are better as friends and I’m glad that he is still someone we can talk to and he knows he can always reach out to us.
Now if she’s making you that uncomfortable reach out to her and tell her. Maybe he hasn’t told her because he just doesn’t know how.
your better than him and his ex …you dont need this BS move on
Not that his friends are any choice of yours but I will say he’s fighting to keep her in his life so that says something.
Let’s back up. Why does it bother you? Keep in mind that the more attention you draw from this, the more of a problem this will become for both of you. You might want to consider that putting the pressure on him might push him away from you or end the relationship. Would it be possible to wait a little and see what happens? You probably should evaluate your feelings and decide if the relationship is worth more time before ending it.
You don’t trust him so leave
He probably thinks you’re overreacting …I mean you’ve seen the messages …
No reason for them to speak. Its not about trust it’s about respect
U should only have to tell him one time something like that bothers u and if he continues to do it he has no respect for u or ur feelings and it will only continue to get worse once they see they can treat u any old way they will my grandmother told me people will only treat u the way u allow them to and if he knows this hurts u and keeps doing it he don’t care
I’ve been in this situation, my bfs ex used to call in the middle of the night years into our relationship and I always told him if she thought of him as a friend and needed advice and such then I was cool with it… finally after a few years she realized our relationship was serious and started talking serious crap on us being together and he 100 cut her off… depends on the situation I guess but I think exes can remain friends if they have both moved on…
I would never take that BS from a man no way never never never good luck
Leave his ass he will block your ass if you break up he just wants to sleep with her and keep her as a back up 
leave his ass not a guy you want kids with at all run!!!
He’s already been lying to you. He obviously doesn’t respect you. Move on.
Eh, mine has an ex like that it’s been 7 years. I just accept her. Shes nice. Hes never outta place with her. She interacts with me not really him. Were married now too with a baby. Jealousy is ugly and green. Just remember he chose you. He never contacts her so it wouldnt be a problem
He’s showing you all the messages and he’s telling you she’s contracting him. Sounds like he’s trust worthy to me. If this was me I wouldn’t worry about it. Do you trust him
Hun sorry to tell you it’s not that he doesnt see it he doesnt care
Lol leave bc this will be your life forever if you stay and when he chests you will say oh damn what a fool I am. A man will have no problem blocking someone or telling them to leave him alone otherwise. Not the guy.
If he’s replying to the texts he cares more for her. You are just a stand in.
Trust and respect arr a part of the main foundation that makes a relationship work. If there’s no trust and respect in any way, there’s no point in that relationship. Red flags for me, HE KEEPS REPLYING TO HER HES ENTERTAINING HER ENOUGH FOR HER TO FEEL COMFORTABLE SLIDING INTO HIS INBOX WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE IT, he said he’d block her and now he’s changing his mind and saying he doesn’t want to block her. He lied to you about talking to someone else already. You’re blatantly letting him know it bothers you and he continues to say she’s not bothering “y’all.” You telling him should have been enough for him to be done with it, block her, change his number etc. He’s showing you all you need to see, and hear.
LEAVE, it won’t get better, hes not respecting your feelings, I’m sure if it was you pulling his crap he would not be ok with it!
Tell him, “ I don’t trust you. You’ve lied to me before about stuff before. Instead of you trying to be “friends” with your ex I think you need to help me be able to build trust in our relationship again. If you decide that she’s more important than our relationship then I’m done and I’ll leave now.” He’s already broke your trust when he lied before he needs to be grateful you stayed and are willing to fix that. He’s got to realize if he doesn’t put your relationship first then he won’t have a relationship to put anywhere. He’s taking advantage of you because you let him stick around with no conditions after he lied about the first girl. Put your foot down and tell him how it’s going to be or he’s going to end up losing you. Good Luck and hopefully he opens his eyes up!
Your first baby girl , he needs to delete all the females
She’s his backup plan…
Girl red flags… Get outta there
I wouldn’t care. My husband is welcome to speak to any ex he wants. I message my ex’s from time to time as well. Never been an issue. We’ve been together 15 years and never once has speaking to an ex been a problem.
Then you tell him you ran into an old boyfriend and he wanted your email and phone number and you’re debating whether it’s okay to give it to him or not and if he says no Then look at him but it’s okay for you to let your old girlfriend contact you I think I’m going to do it next time I run into him watch the reaction tell him well I guess the old saying is true what’s good for the goose is good for the gander
My personal opinion is that he likes the attention he’s getting from both you and her. If it really bothers you I would take a step back. Don’t talk to him for a few days. My opinion is that if you’re what he wants in his life he will come to understand that it’s a real issue. Don’t let him have the best of both worlds
Leave him, simple as that
Hes an attention hog. Not over her. And it will lead to issues. Be warned
He shouldn’t be entertaining her innocent or not if it makes you uncomfortable. I wonder how he would feel if the shoe was on the other foot.
He very clearly just likes having so much attention, cut the boy loose and get yourself a man
Leave or it’ll be your life!
If he respects her feelings more then let them have each other … Dont settle for less . Trust me when I tell you this . You allow this to happen to you , things only escalate from here
We don’t care about your soap opera life or drama not everyone wants to hear your drama if I want to hear a drama I’ll watch a drama okay lol 
we don’t want to hear ur whole life problems okay and it’s not for Facebook
Why is her number not delegated or blocked from his phone??
I have the man of my dreams but he talks to other women and I don’t read them he says they are friends only one of them I can’t stand she’s his ex and she knows we are living to get her I would never do him that way but I’m still trying to figure it out it’s not fare to us but it’s not ok either
Drop him, my ex thought it was fine talking to other women and going out with them, he went away with his “best friend” for 5 days and after it all was found to be a cheating ass. If he does not respect your feelings about talking to other women then he never will and is not trust worthy
Leave. Any man who loves you and doesn’t want to jeopardize it won’t give you a reason. I know some things can be worked out and I have an ex on my page but we don’t communicate in any fashion. It’s also been 8 years. I think there’s a difference between being mature about an ex and then entertaining them as a possibility. Regardless in which form. If my husband’s ex were messaging him and I asked him to block her he would. Not that he would even entertain it unless it were for formal purposes. I feel like I’m a mature relationship with someone who is comitted to you would not continue doing things like this. Some women surprise me with what they put up with.
Add some men to your friends list and see what he thinks about that
Some where there is a reason. Why .Find it then decide.Don’t b the fool.
Leave you don’t have to have sex to cheat and and he’s lying to you