Family doesn't come to my kids parties: What should I do?

I need advice I know you don’t know me BUT if the father is disrespectful, narcissistic, manipulate behavior you name it towards you but wants to see his baby what would you do?? Allow him or wait till he proves that he can show respect to me to get to his baby? Atm the moment I’m allowing him but I have doubts

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Family doesn't come to my kids parties: What should I do?

It’s his child also. Regardless of how he treats you, as long as he does nothing to harm the child he deserves to see his kid. I mean take it to court if he’s unfit, but you can’t have a child with someone and dictate when they see them.

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You let him see the baby as long as he is good to the baby. He is a parent as well. If he starts talking down to you tell him you aren’t listening and you’ll be back in half an hour or whatever. If it becomes a constant thing or you feel better than have the meet ipd in. Public space or a neutral persons home until he can be respectful. Also, remind him that your child is watching and this isn’t the behavior they should be witnessing.

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He doesn’t have to respect you to see his kid. Kinda makes me wonder which one of you is the narcissist

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File a parenting plan

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It is his child too, how would you feel if he told you that you can’t see the baby? Stop making it about your relationship with him and start making it about the relationship that he can have with his child.

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A child is not a pawn. If he wants to see his child and treats the child properly than you have zero say

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dont invite them no more n dont go to their kids parties if they have kids that wwut i do

It’s his kid too. It’s not you “allowing him.” So as long as he’s not a safety issue to his kid…unfortunately how he talks to you is whatever. Unfortunate though but how you’ve worded this makes me also wonder. Tell the judge you want a meeting place and to use the texting app. They can monitor.

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Allowing him to see his child is one thing…being a negative narcissistic person who is using his child to get another opportunity to be an a**hole is entirely a different perspective…I would have supervision with the child that would be a grandparent, court order…but I would not be there…and I’m all for supervision, because he could try to hurt the child in order to get to the mother

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It’s about the child. Not how you both feel about each other. I do fortnightly supervised visits for 2 hours, meeting in a public place so I know there are people around at all times. Works well.

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Most split parents ,one parent dont repect the other,but thats why we have to get court parenting time,because if he wants to see the child he has that right,he is his parent as well,just only conversate with him when it concerns the child otherwise stay no contact and live your life as happy as you can.

As for the family don’t invite them, your party, your guest list.

You don’t get to withhold somebody’s children because they’re mean to you.

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Does he privileged? Let your heart lead you the way🙏

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Y’all’s relationship ain’t got nothing to do with the kid … To many of y’all woman do this shit and is why some men give up and then y’all out here screaming he a deadbeat … No no man should give up on they kid but som of y’all mom’s make shit so hard … You say he’s narcissistic but you the one with thoughts of oh if he don’t treat ME right I don’t think I’ma let him see his son … Sounds like your the narcissist here

Didn’t you see red flags with this guy before you had a baby you ever think of that I wouldn’t let him see the baby

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No! He has to show respect to me. What would the family think. They would say if he can do this so can we. No negative thoughts or being disrespectful to you should not be allowed.

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If he did you like that what would your answer be? You didn’t make that baby by yourself GROW UP!

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Do not ever keep a child from the other parent. Period. If other parent is not abusive to the child verbally or physically, they deserve to be apart of their child’s life, especially if they want to.

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It’s about your kid not about you

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Since he’s narcissistic make him go to therapy otherwise he’s just going to do it to your guys baby. Forget about all the people on the post saying you shouldn’t keep a child from it’s parent. When you should if it could have any negative effect on the baby

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You heading doesn’t fit the rest of story! As long as the child is being taken care you can’t hold back visitation.

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The child is not a weapon or pawn. Fathers have inalienable rights just as mothers do. Sorry you didn’t figure out his character flaws until after a baby was conceived, but the baby is innocent & deserves love from both parents.

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If your ex has visitation rights then if you don’t let him see his child your subject to go to jail. You might have to get a lawyer and go back to court on visitation. If a parent belittles you then the judge will hold that again him and take other
measures. It’s against the law to talk bad against either parents because it messes the child’s mind up.

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You have no right to hold his child from him unless he abuses the child just because they make bad partners doesn’t mean they will be a bad parent and the child is 50% him

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I understand the situation…it never truly ends. Just tolerate for your baby’s sake. It’s a harsh llife lesson but babies needs come first. Once the party is over, stay to yourself and you’ll be fine. It can be mentally exhausting to endure periods of that behavior so maybe plan something calming for you or something that brings you happiness after the Interaction to balance you out. You have to find coping methods honey. Best way forward at this point. Sorry you have to go through this. Be strong.

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He has rights to his child. I would go to court and get custody established with visitation or whatever. That way it’s in writing and you can just follow the court order and not deal with him otherwise

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How the father treats you is irrelevant to allowing him to be a father to his child.

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You picked him to father your child. You dont get to make yourself and obstacle in his relationship with that child. Get a parenting order and don’t interfere in his time.

There’s nothing you can do. Regardless of how he treats you, you can’t withhold visitation, otherwise you are in contempt of court and can go to jail. You can call your attorney and ask if there is any possible way to get your ex to take parenting classes through the court. Parents are not supposed to talk bad about each other in front of the kids. It does happen, unfortunately, but maybe you can get it tempered some by asking the court to require him to take parenting class which teaches child care and the best interests of the children.

Me and my ex co parent we usually have seperate birthdays for our kids , kids get two of everything and it’s just easier for everyone.

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:wastebasket: parents withhold kids because of their personal issues with the other parent. If he’s a good and involved dad, let him see his child. I can’t with some of the moms out here.

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You can only control you. You aren’t together anymore. All you can do is treat him the way you want to be treated and go high when he goes low. Make it all about your child and nothing else. Don’t engage in any conversation that isn’t about the child. It’s your job as a mother to make sure she has a relationship with her father if he is active and involved. Your child didn’t choose him to be the father ;you did. Don’t make your child pay for your decisions. You don’t need to have a good relationship with the father in order for your child to have their Dad in their life

One thing has nothing to do with the other.

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For the kids’ party- stop giving a fuck lol
yall heard of toxic relationships? you don’t answer or communicate and they want you more. that simple. :joy: they’ll wanna be around your kids if you quit trying to involve them.

For the narc baby daddy- get accompanied visitation and go through court so everything is documented and to be followed. trust your gut too.

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Be civil for baby’s sake.

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All y’all saying he doesn’t have to respect need to know your worth! Sorry I’m my son’s mom! I’m the one raising him and taking care of him! Respecting your child’s mother or father shows your child to respect others! You disrespect that other parent and the older your child gets they WILL disrespect them to! Take him to court and put it in your court papers that he can’t disrespect you in front of your child!

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I’ve said it a million times if there’s no court ordered parental agreement don’t let him see the child. It does not count against you like so many will tell you. In fact judges look poorly on men who don’t establish legal rights. He wants you to allow visitation without court involvement because it allows him to manipulate you more. Judges are aware of this tactic. An order establishes rules so both parties no what to expect from the other & what is expected of them. It also allows a form of enforcement.

I tried doing visitation out of court. It all boiled down to him using my kids as pawns. I stopped. Years later when I filed a motion to move he tried the “she won’t let me see my kids” crap complete with tears in court. The judge didn’t buy it. First question he asked my ex is why he hadn’t established court ordered custody.

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It doesn’t matter how you both are with one another, if he treats his kid good then that’s all that matters. You ignore him unless it comes to something to do with the child

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You had his baby. Respect or not still also his baby

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I think it’s how he acts with the child. If he’s that way with you, will he harm the child psychologically or physically?

If it gets out of hand have the hand off for visitation. At the local police department. Go in show them the court orders and let them know what kind of person you’ve had to deal with they are uses to handling this type of stuff.
Or
If younhave someone that can be appoi Ted as the hand off person I stead of you, like grandparent etc. I’d do it that way, then you don’t have to have any contact with him at all.

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The important thing to consider is how he treat the kids ?
Of course you should be respected and the relationship between you and he should be cordial but unfortunately it’s not possible many couples. So , be the bigger person ( I’m saying this only if your kids are not in any kind of danger while they are with him ) and do not use the kids as a punishment for his behavior towards you , I know it sounds weird but some men are actually better fathers than husbands.
But if his behavior gets worse you can always involve the court

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If there’s no respect there’s no trust. No trust, and you’re not taking my kid anywhere.

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Kids pick up on everything… no matter how small they still feel the energy around them. If dad is not being respectful then don’t have him around you, have a third party hold visits with dad

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Your post seems to be asking two different types of questions…
1. Family issues
2. Narcissist baby daddy

If he truly is a narcissist, won’t get better it will just get worse, he won’t change and if it appears that he is changing it’s all BS,  do your homework on narcissist!! The very best advice any of us can give you

FYI… “allow him or wait till he PROVES that he can show respect to me TO GET HIS BABY “ :thinking:

Smh :woman_facepalming:t2: that sentence right there is ALL wrong…

It’s not about how he treats u. It’s about how he treats ur kid. Women have failed to learn this and it’s 2022. If ur not together and he calls u names vise versa. Oh well as long as he or she is not doing it to your child u have no right to stop him from seeing his child literally zero. Entitled women think they get that choice.

That’s his kid. He doesn’t need permission from you to see his kid.

Sorry but that is his kid as much as it is yours. As long as he is treating that child right and trying to be an actual Dad you have no right to hold that child away. Now if he isn’t being a proper Dad or doing something that can damage that child then no. If you’re just mad that you and him don’t get along that isn’t good enough reason for your child to lose their father.