Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Fighting a lot before our wedding, should I be concerned?
do NOT get married until you go to counseling to see if you can work it outâit us NOT going to get better without help. I wish I had listened to someone telling me this back when I was young.
Planning a wedding can be very stressful for both people involved. I would suggest taking a step back⊠talking and trying to figure out whatâs going on.
Definitely normal. Planning a wedding is super stressful. Iâm so glad mine is overđ the week or two before my husband and I got married we were constantly arguing with each other. After the wedding we were right back to normal.
It depends on the situation & what your arguing about.
normal, its stressful!
Yes because of the strss
It depends on the circumstances to why youâre arguing. If itâs minor things, normal.
Doesnât hurt to go to counseling⊠my husband and I argued a lot before the wedding⊠but weâre good now lol⊠been married 11 months!
Wedding planning is very stressful I wouldnât doubt if you have some disagreements but now is your time for you both to learn what compromise means because there will be a lot of it in your marriage
A lot of it could be cause my stress of the up coming wedding and planning. But it also depends what the fights are about.
TOTALLY normal! Wedding stress is real!
Depends on the situation. My husband and I argued alot before marriage and it continued after marriage. Weâve both had to take a lot of steps to try and fix us and our marriage. Shitty start honestly. If you could try to fix it before your marriage so you enter that on a positive note.
Yup I fought with the whole family.
Depends what youâre fighting over and what is causing it. Maybe talk to a professional.b
We were together 4 years before marriage and this was happening right before wedding. It didnât last long after marriage.
Depends on what you are fighting over. But also listen to your gut. I had reservations about my first and it was a very small destination wedding. My friends told me it was natural and cold feet. Nope, it was my gut telling me I knew better. We separated less than a year later. The divorce took longer than that sham of a marriage lasted.
Yes. It becomes stressful. Take date nights. Stop talking about wedding. Take a breather.
My man and I started doing the same thing. We sat and talked it all out. We were both just nervous, stressed, and a little scared
Are you knee deep in wedding plans? Stress is a big factor
If itâs wedding arguing yup, my hubby wanted 10 guest total, we ended up having closer to 100 
happily married ever after 
We fought before and it got even worse after was young and dumb though marriage would make things better but it just got way way worse
What are you fighting about? Relatives, finances, home, etc?
The closer thr date, the more stressed you will be. Never hurts to talk things over with someone. As long as you guys know you love each other, everything will work out 
I would say it depends on what youâre fighting about. Whatever it is, keep in mind that 2020 was rough on everyone, 2021 didnât get off to a great start and planning a wedding is tough all on its own. Without knowing the complete details, Iâll offer this advice⊠if what youâre fighting/arguing about is petty stuff, it might be stress related. Compromise. Thatâs the biggest issue in a lot of marriages/relationships. Compromise and communication. Now, if itâs not petty stuff that youâre fighting/arguing about, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship as a whole. If there is any kind of abuse, leave. Now. Good luck!
wedding frustrations can get to you itâs normal hell im married 3yrs n we still fight like cat n dog
Normal? Is this what you want your normal life to be? There will be countless stressful times in life. Do you want a relationship where you always argue when thereâs stress, or one where you communicate effectively and work as a team? If itâs arguments over issues that need resolving, and they get resolved, good. If itâs just bickering cuz u both are stressed, you two should try improve the way you interact with eachother when youâre stressedâŠ
My husband went into crazy mode the day or 2 before our wedding. In Hawaii. I asked him if he wanted to call it off and just have a family vacation. He finally found a nice shirt and pants (we were doing a very informal beach wedding with just my mom and sister and his mom and step dad). I sent him with his mom for a while while I went with my mom and sister. We have been married almost 13 years now. Lol
itâs the stress take a day or 2 to do things that make you guys happy instead of wedding stuff if you can
Get marriage counseling STAT! Be sure you talk about money, expectations for the marriage, your children, extended Both weddings and divorces are expensive and stressful so think twice about moving ahead. Also, do you both fight fair? Do you know how to resolve differences without fighting? This is the greatest skill to have in any relationship.
If the wedding planning is stressful, rethink your plans and cancel if it would bring you peace. Maybe a small wedding, eloping or whatever and a casual party later to celebrate with friends and family. You can always have a big to-do down the road in a few years for a renewal of vows when things are not so fraught if you really want that.
Also consider the toll your arguing is taking on your kids. Maybe take some time each day to meditate or do relaxation exercises or blow off steam with a physical activity as a family. The details of the wedding are not important. Your lives together are.
I never understood why people put all the emphasis on a giant wedding that requires so much planning puts people in debt vs. having a simple sacred ceremony if religion is important and putting the time, effort and money into the marriage and future (saving for a house and children or for travel or old age if no children are desired).
Stress can cause wild moods. But idk, Iâve been with mine for 6 years and we donât fight. Life doesnât have to be challenging, it should be easy with each other.
It would depend on what your fighting about. Is it trivial stuff or fighting on a scale thatâs not typical of your relationship style? Have you talked to each other about whatâs happening?
A marriage or whether to marry should never be about about never fighting. There is no relationship on this planet that will never fight. The difference AND what makes or breaks your relationship is how you react and how/if you work it out, is how you go about it. You need to be intentional on what you say, how you say it, and realize that your both on the same team. One disagreement shouldnât be an all out war. If one is always right, and the other shuts down, the other grows resentful always having to say nothing and never being heard. Nothing ever gets worked out; thatâs just as toxic to a relationship as actual fighting. Whatâs important is that you both love and respect each other enough to come together and work toward a resolution. Itâs called fighting fair. Where you donât always get your way, but you both make an active effort to fix whatever the issue is that arises. If you canât bring yourself to do that, or he canât, marriage definitely isnât for you.
How bad are the fights ? Violence, name calling, threats to leave?
No matter how long youâve been together the wedding jitters will get you and the first year of marriage is HARD! My husband and and I were together for 5 years before we were married and I wasnât so sure weâd make it the first year but we did and in March we celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. Use this experience as a way to find better coping mechanisms and leave the lines of communication open no matter the issue. This does not define the course of your marriage and cuter relationship if you donât let it.
I think itâs a spiritual battle when transitioning from fiancĂ© to husband and wife. Itâs holy ritual sacrament. So there may be more difficult time before the wedding. Although I find that first yrs of marriage is difficult so itâs very important to keep God center focus. To cherish eachother and always respect eachother. You both love each other but planning a wedding is very stressful. Itâs also stressful when someone has been married before and it didnât go well so itâs a bit haunting. Try to do things with eachother that doesnât involve planning or talking bout the wedding or kids. Rebuilding your relationship is what makes marriage work. A lot of alone time together seems resolve frustrating times, being intimate and relaxing also finding common ground on issues has a lot to do with whose marriage works.
Coming from me who got remarried 2 months ago. I find that when we focus on all the problems my older kids give us (his bonus kids) or problems other family members give thatâs when our relationship is rocky. Have to zone in on eachother be protective of ur time together always defend each other.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Fighting a lot before our wedding, should I be concerned?
Getting married is in the top 10 of stresses. You already live together and have children. Added stresses. What was your favorite things to do, when you first started dating? Sometimes it is a lot of the little things that break us. We forget what brought us together in the first place. Time to decompress. Have a time-out with each other. Talk to each other about what the real problem could be, after you have some fun and relax.
I donât know. Every time my husband has an upcoming field op, deployment, or when we are preparing for a move tensions skyrocket from stress and we harp on one another which isnât fair but itâs normal for stress to seriously cause a pause in a relationship. Marriage is up and down, relationships as well. I think itâs normal, but if itâs super excessive and abusive language thatâs mot okay.
My opinion it depends what itâs over but thereâs probably stress over everything every which way just got married in May been together for 5 years the week of the wedding we were both stressed I told him I was cancelling the wedding 
I obviously didnât but my mom ran a little late and I would not put my dress on til she got there and he was nervous asking everyone where I was 
and his brother came and checked on me and gave everyone laugh saying I ran out the back at the end of the day we love each other and I wouldnât have changed anything.
We just got married in January & bought a house in April. We immediately started on renovations & $$$ was tight. We have been together over 5 years & I could count the # of fights we had on 1 hand. All the sudden we were arguing 3-4 times a week. It sucked bc it was so out of the ordinary for us. We talked about it & realized we were both very stressed in our own ways & we were taking our anxiety on each other.
Do you think this is whatâs going on? If so, talk about that. Sometimes just knowing & acknowledging that stress can make the fights stop. Decide on a night away, no wedding talk, just to get close & have crazy hotel room sex! Get that stress out! Remind each other of why you love & care for each other.
Just breathe. It will be ok. 
I would say yall are opening a new chapter in your life and each one is different. You both are stressed out and questioning everything right now but you need to remember you love each other and not to start questioning each other. Remember why u said yes and all the things he does to make you a happy woman. Best of luck to u both on your new journey.
Might be getting cold feet. You guys need to communicate like adults
Yes itâs normal and also normal the first year or two after marriage
Itâs normal to fight before the wedding. Stress levels are elevated due to planning etc
Its stress, just take him somewhere and talk, its a choices to fight. Its really that simple, choose the hill you want to die on.
It depends on HOW you are fighting. If you arguing then sitting down and communicating calmly and working things out, then you should be ok. If you are having screaming matches or knock down, drag out fights, you may want to reconsider.
Totally normal.
Try taking a day or two off from organising wedding and just have fun. Then slowly get back into it.
It could be stress.
Itâs completely normal! Life is hard and stressful
Maybe hold off on the wedding until you figure it out?
Sounds like you need to de-stress! Take a hike in the woods and sit and talk somewhere quiet. A change of scenery will do you good 
My husband is really the only person I have ever been in a relationship with that we argue consistently, before and after we were married. I didnât care enough to bother with others 
it definitely depends on what youâre arguing about too, could be anxiety, could be deeper, not really enough information is given for us strangers to say. Try couples counseling if youâre really worried but itâs normal to bicker with someone you live with, especially when both of you are stressed more than usual.
I would think it depends on what the arguing is about. Maybe speak to a therapist together before the wedding to figure it out and where it is rooting from. The last thing you want to do is get married only to find out it was a mistake or postpone a wedding when it really wasnât anything to be concerned over and you just needed to work through a little bit first. Sometimes we all need that little kick to help our communication with out bf/gf/spouses. Its nothing to he ashamed of. Not getting through something and letting it stew unresolved is the issue.
Take a nite off from it all YOU 2 , go out together do something you used todo while dating
Yes. Me and my husband and even his friends all fought and bickered a lot before our wedding. It caused us not to talk to friends after for awhile bc they got hateful bc couldnt plan our wedding the way they wantedâŠ
Why would you ask strangers on the internet they donât know You or him or what you both are thinking , you are asking the wrong people
Are the fights of the same thing? Usually weddings cause stress and Iâm not saying thatâs the whole reason or excuse. Maybe if youâre concerned ask about pre marital counseling
Itâs probably stress about all the family dynamics that are going to be changing. Go to pre marital couples counseling. Fully understand what the expectations will be involving parenting. Blended families are especially complicated to navigate. Check out the Nacho Method of step-parenting. Good luck 
This is really what I wanted to say, scrolling through the questions, here. You donât give a lot of details, which is really fair, but âfightingâ covers a lot of ground. If he is mentally, verbally, physically, or sexually abusive to you before the wedding, it will only get worse after, and it will be harder to leave. If youâre just arguing over every little thing, you need to sit down and talk about it and figure out why and let him know how much it concerns you. (If you canât do that, thatâs a serious warning sign on its own.) If he IS abusive, though, this is your chance to call it off with the most safety you will ever have.