My husband literally plays games from the time he gets off work till God knows what time of the night. Its getting aggravating, he wasn’t like this when we first got together. But now all he does is play games, and he plays online so I constantly hear him yelling and talking with the other players. I feel like he makes no time in our marriage anymore for us time. I’ve expressed how I feel and he says it’s cause he is depressed and games is his way of escaping depression, I get that I battle severe depression as well but when I’m depressed all I want is to curl up in his arms and I can’t get that because he is on video games. I feel like my feelings are irrelevant. He streams his video games and says “if I get enough streamers I can make money doing this as well”.
Maybe I’m just being petty or maybe I’m just being silly but I feel like I go to school all day, I work and when I get home and finish homework I would much rather spend time with him then listen to the video games and him talking to other players and not me.
I would get a hobby of my own but between being a full time student and employee I have no time for a hobby.i have talked to him about how it makes me feel and he tells me he understands and that he knows he needs to balance our relationship and gaming better, yet has failed to. And believe me if it was just a few hours a day i would not care at all. But It is legitimately from the time he gets home from work till 3-4 am. And on the weekends it’s from the time he wakes up till 3-4 am. There is absolutely no time for our marriage anymore.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Gamer wives- How do yall handle video games in your relationship?
My husband and I play together 
My SO is the same way. I can’t watch him play or play with him because I get severe motion sickness from video games. We never spend time together hardly and he says the same thing, he’s depressed and uses it as an escape. Haven’t found the magic words to get him to understand yet. Hopefully it gets better for you guys.
My husband and I play together 
I can never see why people complain when their husbands play the game 
I don’t throw a fit about it I either play with him or let him play on his own I’m not gonna treat him like one of my kids and give him a time limit. However if ya don’t get up and help when I need to I’m gnna go off 
I’ve been married for 24 years to a gamer. It was annoying in the early years. Now, I don’t mind. Hubby does spend some time with me after work and we have Movie Tuesday. I just think he does so much for me outside of the game that he deserves to have his down time. I have a quilting hobby too and he fully supports that. He even tells me some mornings before he goes to work that I need to spend the day in my room and not worry about the house.
Maybe ask for one day after work to spend time with you. Start with small steps.
I’ve been married almost 18 years, together 20. This was a thing many years ago for us as well. Just try to talk to him. Ask him if you can get a couple hrs to watch a movie or something together. Just let him know you understand it’s a wind down for him, but you would like some time with him as well. Also. Like the comment above Maybe you guys can find a game you’d both like to play and enjoy together. Give you both some together time as well as a wind down period.
Can I give u insight from a female gamer . until 2007 I wasnt a gamer at all I thought it was stupid. I started with world of Warcraft . my bf played all the time n I didnt understand it til he told me to try. After the first raid I was hooked I met so many different people. From different parts of the world it was amazing . it was like traveling around world without leaving ur home… I suggest get into it to find aspects u like n follow it . its amazing the people u meet
My husband and I play and let me tell you be glad he home playing video games and not in the streets
I don’t get the problem. He’s not out doing anything stupid. He’s happy and entertained. You get peace and quiet to do whatever you want… Take a bubble bath. Read a book. Call friends and just chat with no interruptions. I could think of a million things to do.
I totally get it my partner does the same but he’s learning that it’s important for our relationship to spend time with me. I find video games childish. I can find so many better things to do with my time then play a video game together
My husband and I got divorced because of this . I went through the same thing. If you expressed how you feel and he is not mature enough to spend more time with you and understand your feelings then you need to let him go. It might be hard to hear but you deserve someone who is interested in the same things you are and not constantly staring at a screen
My ex was the same way. Eventually it lead to our divorce. Hopefully it doesn’t with yall.
I believe its healthy to have separate hobbies and interests in a marriage. It gives you time to “decompress”. My ex husband and I had a really hard time prioritizing time for one another… mainly him never making any time for me. Eventually it led to the demise of our marriage. Fast forward to my second marriage. There have been a couple of tiffs that came from him spending too much time on the computer…but alas it boils down to learning how to compromise. Since I get home from work a couple hours later than he does, he usually uses that time to decompress…then I get home and we have supper, watch a couple episodes of our favorite show and then we part ways until bed time. Where we both agreed that there’s no technology in bed unless one of us is already asleep 
. We use that time to talk about what we have going on the next day… what we want for dinner…etc.
It’s really about communication and compromise. I can’t expect him to give me his undivided attention if he’s in the middle of a game … and he has to understand I have needs that need to be tended to.
I hope yall get to some middle ground and you can find happiness!
Ask the magic question.
“Would you teach me?”
Most guys are extatic to have a partner willing to play with them rather than take it away from them.
The bonus is that you both win. You get to spend more time with him, and he gets to take you with him into the world that makes depression manageable.
You might find that you also enjoy the game and can get some relief from depression symptoms. But at the very least, wouldn’t it be worth investigating what it is that makes his depression tolerable? Maybe you could learn a bit about what he’s escaping to, and trying to get away from by paying attention to what aspects of the game he gets most absorbed into.
Get him a toolbox for Christmas 
Seems a bit childish honestly esp if you tried telling him how u feel only time my bf plays is if I’m doing something like doing a craft or something of my interest but family comes above his video games he does scream but also knows if I look at him a curtain he better stop his raging. Maybe get involved in playing with him has that been an option? By sounds of it I doubt he would allow u anyways I know how annoying that can be i for sure would maybe talk with him set some rules and be fair with him about them if he don’t want to be fair don’t threaten with empty threats u and only you can change the way you live i don’t feel like he should have to quit but he for sure should back away from playing so much smh
My babe plays video games. But not if I’m home. He doesn’t play and gets off. My time is limited. So he understands. 
I dont think the answer is a simple “just play with him.” It seems like he never even asked, or maybe shes not into it, or both. Him wanting to play alone is fair, but from work till late at night every day? Thats when it gets kind of obsessive. And her feeling pushed away is very valid because that IS what he is doing.
I can get into games sometimes, especially when in low like he mentioned, and I’ll cut back on time spent with friends/important people. But not for such a long time either. At some point I do want to see them and spend quality time with them because they’re… important to me? Lol.
She could be single and being entertained by men who actually want her to feel desired, is how I see it. Hes taking her for granted and that sucks.
Also I get depression can get severe. Ive had experience with that. But he’s literally neglecting her and failing to try to solve the issue (seek therapy?). As a couple thats just not right.
dale su tiempo cuando vea que no te tiene segura el va a estar atras de ti … entre mas estes atras de el el no hara nada para ponerte atencion
That’s part of the problem in today’s world to much time spent in front of these games we need to make more family type activities share laughs with one another just be silly!
My mans always makes sure I’m taken care of before he plays. That being he rubs my back, watches a show with me for a while, sets me up with a snack and a drink with my shows. I don’t mind usually - we have our time together and I know he enjoys it. Don’t wanna ruin his fun.
Never feel crazy for not having your needs met. I refuse to have a gamer boyfriend because it becomes their entire life. It is the first question I ask… do u game and are u a pothead? Those are my breakers for me. So definitely NOT you being petty. Grown men shouldn’t play games … go bang on stuff in the garage.
How about trying to share something that interests him and join him. Learn how to play and make it something you can do together after kids go to sleep. Even if only 20 min. It makes a huge difference when we make efforts to show interest in things they like… I know you probably dont want to hear this BUT the world does not revolve around us. They shouldn’t always be the one showing interest.
My husband games but I don’t feel it’s excessive. It’s usually sometimes during the weekend with our son, or at night. I don’t mind cuz I need my own space too. Then we also play together at times. Balance is the key but I’m not about to time him. I’m his wife, not his mother
We play together and set boundaries. Sunday thru thursday we get off at 10pm and cuddle and watch movies friday nights r for us and Saturdays we play till whenever but we r together playing
Her problem isn’t him playing the game, It’s him putting the game over her.
It seems to me that all she wants is for him to spend time with her.
You could try playing the game with him (or finding a game you both like), or maybe find something y’all are both interested in to do together (watch a tv show together, find a hobby to do together)
I just let him do his thing,and I do mine.He could be doing worse the way I see it.
Mine plays an hour before bed time or after bed time so he’s still helping with dinner and kids and I either get the kids ready for bed or he wait til after bedtime and i go to bed or watch a show and he plays his games how ever long he want to stay up. Lol. And he will check-in with me and ask have I been playing to many nights in a row? But i dont care as long as he is present during family time he can play as much as he wants at night lol dads need their version of alone “me” time too
I found if I do a strip tease for him he looses all intrest in the game lmao. But seriously, this is my marriage to a T. My husband actually builds computers for a living and he’s a hard-core gamer. He’s usually up til 5-6 am and sleeps in the living room. We have 2 young girls and I’m 28 weeks with our 3rd so I’m usually the one to get up with the kids and take care of them
I’m a gamer and my husband really don’t have a problem with me playing video games constantly but some days when my friends or I have something to do me and my husband take time out for each other. Sometimes he even joins in on the game we’re playing
We play together after the kids are in bed. Stress release for us both or he plays and i have much needed me time .
If he wanted to make time to spend with you, he would.
Me and my ex would constantly game, id game while he was at work and my daughter at school, he gamed when he got off work until bed where we’d cuddle up and watch a movie together. When you live together, not every free second has to be devoted to your partner, everybody deserves to have time for theirs elves or their friends. Yeah, yall should have time set aside for just yall, and its shitty that he doesn’t, but if you dont like it, there’s nothing stopping you from leaving.
If a relationship is exhausting 24/7, why stay in it?
Lived with a gamer for 14 years. I couldn’t take it anymore. That ruined our family. 3 kids and all he did was play games with friends. By that time there wasn’t the play online with the friends so he played with them in the house. Constantly the house was full of men. While me and my 3 daughters had to be in the rooms because there were so many men in the house.
I said enough is enough. Either you change or you leave and he left.
Long story short, now I live with a man (10 yrs together) that don’t play games but it’s constantly in the computer. 80% of the time is working but still he makes no time for the family.
Cant win 
We play videogames together lol
If he is depressed and using it as an escape, try to talk to him about what he’s trying to escape. A lot of people have turned to online gaming to scratch that social itch that they cant do in person due to Covid. Maybe ask him about setting time aside to be with you. If you attack him and try to get him to stop gaming entirely, it will backfire. Also, maybe pick up your own hobby. Paint by numbers, diamond paintings, knitting, reading, something to do on your own. If he cares at all, he will notice that you’ve found your own escape and it will give you something to talk about besides being unhappy.
Cant play with a broken screen sorry im that kinda petty bitch💁 if the game is a issue the game goes end of story js.
I like my SO to play games… Whats a depressed person alternative, drinking? Or out getting attention of other ladies… Hes at home with you. Make a plan… A date night… We do…
Don’t be so hard on him. Games are fun. They get addicting. Try it
No you’re;not being petty. You’re entitled;to love&intimacy. Some people;are just. Professional gamer’s&sometimes develop;new games. He’s sounds;competitive while into the zone.
At least he is home, and not out with friend and you don’t know where he is
Eh, were both like that in our relationship at times. Someday I’ll play for a week like mad and then go long stretches without and he’s the same way. It doesn’t bother us. So I don’t have a lot of insight there. What I will say is this. Is this a deal breaker with you? Your marriage vows were until death do you part, sometimes the death part is the death of a marriage relationship and not of a person though. (I’m divorced but in a happy relationship now.) My deal breaker was years of mental and verbal abuse. Is this yours? Or is this something that in a few years may pass and this is just the rough spot you can make it through. No one can answer that but you. If your husband isn’t giving you the support you need talk to him about it without making it about the gaming. Tell him you want more quality time with him. Maybe set aside a day of the week your both off and go out. Take a picnic, a walk, a movie or stay home and have date night. Start with one day and go from there. He needs an escape just as we all do but there’s a way to make time for you too. If he can’t give you that, then reevaluate.
I’m a gamer so I have no advice for you. 
I’d honestly have no problem with it as long as we got to do stuff with each other every now and then. Even if its just being in the company of one another.
Man Child time to grow up its ok to do something you enjoy when you are just having some free time to yourself if there’s nothing else needs to be done and your wife is having some time to herself or reading or whatever she likes but that’s it .
My advice for you would be Ask him to teach you how to play start playing the game and learning and always laugh at your mistakes while learning too try more than once if he is willing to teach you 
He needs to remember to prioritise you at least sometimes I’d try and make a plan with him because although gaming is his escape he is just hiding away in his escape and therefore not facing his battles and will not get better… he’s just ignoring his demons hoping they go away but it doesn’t work like that! He’s going to feel much worse for it when he finally does try and go do something else
All the women who say they play with their man, are annoying. So if you guys have kids, the kids are going to play too just to get some attention. There is definitely a point where its an addiction people just don’t want to admit it, its just like any other addiction. Although I will say you’re not going to find a solution on these Facebook groups.
Videos games ruin relationships. Period.
The only thing I can’t stand when it comes to my husband is when he thinks he’s gonna game on the tv and his phone at the same time. That’s just an asshole move hogging the tv. Also phone games that allow you to talk to others aren’t aloud bc of emotional cheating he has caused on them. So usually I have no problem. I sit with him, get on social media, nap or take care of our daughter when home while he plays his games and he does anything I ask or I just harass till he does it but never any fighting over him gaming. I prefer this then him going out and being stupid.
Good luck with that one. Gaming is an addiction, he’s got a serious problem. Best of luck to ya
I play video games with him lol that’s how we met
My husband only plays on the weekends and when I’m in class. I told him I like my alone time at night anyway. It also works out where if I want to go out with friends he usually lets me. But he hardly plays during the week only on his phone. But that took me explaining to him a balanced schedule with me and the kids.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Gamer wives- How do yall handle video games in your relationship?
Following 
same boat with my partner 
Play games with him.
He can play his stupid games until you come home and get your homework done, then its your time and he needs to get off them games and spend time with you. If he is depressed then he should go to the dr and a psychiatrist and figure out why. Maybe he needs medication.
Does he help out around the house with cleaning and laundry, grocery shopping??
It’s very hard. It was hard when he was playing but also when he wasn’t.vi don’t have answers for you. But I understand where you are coming from
You just explained the same scenario that ended my marriage.
If he’s talking to other players and ignoring you. It’s a huge possibly he’s “talking” and emotionally involved with someone else.
My ex husband took the gaming next level and he had numerous emotional affairs. And real life affairs.
If it’s to this point your marriage is pretty much beyond saving. He has an addiction to video games. And I bet if you look at his phone browser there will be some type of pornography websites as well. He’s looking for an emotional connection in strangers not from the person who is there in real life.
Find a game you can play with him? Get a hobby?!gaming isn’t bad.
Maybe remind him that he has a REAL life waiting.
I play video games when I get home from work for an hour or so and then the rest of my night is focusing on my wife and kids 
. She doesn’t have a problem with me playing just as long as I’m not on it too much (so she can watch her shows 
) and I’m not being loud lol. Gotta love her.
Btw: maybe you should try playing a game with him? Something you both can enjoy. The wife and I do that once in awhile and we both love it 
.
I’m going thru the same thing he would always want to be around me and now he doesn’t even care to tell me when he gets home… honestly he’s just not interested in you anymore
I had this in a past relationship. I ended up joining him and got addicted myself but in all honesty yall need to compromise because I also get where you’re coming from. He’s doing it to escape reality, which is cool because it’s his way of coping with his feelings BUT there has to be boundaries. You also need to feel valid . Would he be up to negotiation? If you’re also not interested in gaming I’d suggest finding a Hobbie too. That way when it is his down time, you can do your Thang too
I dvr any shows I may want to watch and I let him play. I generally watch him or help with strategy for him. We’re still spending time together and he’s unwinding and relaxing after working all day. It’s worked out great for us for 5 years. Also, when he’s gaming with the guys online he has the chat go through the TV so I can be included in the conversation. 
Okay in this case you might need to set “couple time”. Tell him he can play his games til such and such a time then it’s cuddles and movies together on the couch.
You can either join him playing games or find a hobby for yourself while he’s playing games.
But it’s likely if you keep demanding for time away from the games, he’ll start to resent you.
I’ve dated several gamers who’ll play for hours. I’d either play my own games or do my own thing for a while and then we’d have us time afterwards. Or before hand. Like dinner and movies together then they go game and then cuddles in bed when they come to bed.
He’s gotta compromise with you as well - spending ALL his spare time on a game isn’t exactly healthy either. It’s spose to be a fun stress relieving hobby, not an obsession.
Hope he listens and makes an effort to compromise.
Join in an play games with him, tell him that on what ever day you both agree on that he can’t play games and just spend time together once a week
Done this, and tbf I just accepted it, I would rathar him gaming then cheating on me or eyeing up chatting to other women, I found my own hobbies and let him crack on he works hard so gaming is his only stress release its not like I never see him x
You have to discuss a schedule that works for you. It might sound odd but scheduling can help, plan the thing you want to do together so he can adjust his gaming schedule accordingly. My husband is a gamer and hates watching tv we have some shows we watch together, on nights when I have the shows only I like he games. Like all gamers, they will always choose gaming if they feel like they not “doing anything”. He shouldn’t neglect you but that’s his enjoyment and you’ll have to accept that due to the nature of gaming and progressing in the games and the teams they play with, time has to be dedicated to it. You just have to find a balance that works, even if that means you take the lead in making plans and letting him know ahead of time so he knows how to plan his gaming schedule. It is something that can get frustrating so the feelings you feeling are very valid.
I’m the gamer here. I try to limit my playing and play only on weekends for a couple hrs but deep down I wish I could spend a whole day playing 
try playing too. It’s awesome
This is probably not helpful advice but…. I dated this guy who was a lot like that. He would play games all night while i just sat there waiting, feeling completely alone. He kept begging me to just try RDR2 and I did since it was the only way to interact with him and I ended up playing for 16 hours straight. I loved it. That was cool for a while with him but I kept playing because I really enjoyed it and started playing other games. Now? He finds it annoying that I’ll spend all day playing it…. I think it’s funny because he didn’t care at all when the situation was reversed.
Oh well?
Find something you honestly enjoy doing that doesn’t involve him and after a while he’ll probably come around.
I’d have a serious talk with him and tell him that he needs to start setting aside time for just the 2 of you to spend time together. It’s one thing to have a hobby but it’s another to not make any time for anything or anyone. It honestly sounds like he could maybe have an “addiction” problem.
My husband games . Used to bother me but not anymore. I wouldn’t go as to putting him on a time limit . Just mention hey babe can we watch a movie around 9 tonight ? Stuff like that.
Trust me. You would want him to game than to go out a lot with his so called “buddies” lol…
Time for him to grow up, especially if you have children or plan to.
Put on a knock out outfit don’t tell where you going stay out late don’t answer phone and I bet he will pay you attention
Normal for men now days starring at their phones.
Depressed? Sounds like an excuse… has he been diagnosed by a professional? If not then he should be , depression needs to be treated medically not by self treatment. Dont make excuses for his behavior, constant gaming is selfish and destructive to a relationship.
I feel you. My ex was like that. You can join him as long you don’t have children. I felt so lonely because its hard to have someone at home and you can’t communicate with while you have to work, children and house chores you don’t get any help. At the end my ex started cheating with someone from online games. I doubt he will change.
This is how most men cope. They find a hobby and stick with it, not realizing what it does to the spouse and family. Men play games, watch football, go out and have a beer. You are 2 different people who do things differently. That is okay. What isn’t okay is it being a consistent issue with not having alone time together. I would suggest you find a hobby and occupy yourself with it because relying on someone else to make you feel better isn’t healthy. Nor is solely relying in a Hobbie, like your man is doing. There need to planned date night and I suggest you play WITH him and he join in with whatever hobbie you pick up (cooking, reading, painting, going on walks at the park). There needs to be a schedule.
Play the same games with him.
I don’t mind my boyfriend playing games because I know it’s how he relaxes after a long day at work. I play with him aswell!
My ex played a lot and I just left him to it. Then he met a woman on there and has left me & the kids for her. after 13 years together… during his furlough I was still working and she became his support and yeah… won’t ever get with an avid gamer again!
Playing games excessively is a form of disassociating. He needs psychological support, not resentment. Have you tried going counselling together?
My partner used to be exactly the same wake up get online and stay there until he went to bed.now he does suffer with mental health issues and he used to say that gaming was his escape and thats all he had time for i told him on numerous occasions that i wanted to spend time with him and he used to make excuses not to just so he could game then i started joining in playing games with him then eventually got my own console so we didnt have to split screen and as time went on he gradually started spending time with me away from gaming and now he spends more time with me than he does playing games im not sure if this will work for you but it did for me i hope you manage to figure this out. X
He’s addicted my dear… say goodbye. It’s truly no different then heroine, same dopamine as porn, drugs, whatever.
That’s why both in the relationship needs to be gamers. Me and my man are both gamers and it is so much fun!
Hes probabaly deoressed because of screen time… when he diesnt have it hes fiening nt realising he actually has an addiction not depression.
i dnt know what to tell you except offer differant wats of dealing with depression like excersise walking together etc… i feel fr u mumma
He is still growing up baby girl , I would advise u to get a hobby or do something that will keep u busy, he is taking your time for granted. Don’t b sad alot of relationships r like this which is bad
I Play with my boyfriend 
and I wouldn’t moan at him for playing to much. Alot of the time it is their get away
I think it’s important to listen to How it makes him feel as important as it is for him to listen to how it makes you feel. As someone who used to be bothered by it I know kind of understand it because we game together now. He would give anything to be a streamer but he doesn’t have the confidence to do so so maybe if you bolster his confidence maybe even support him a little and show interest in what he’s doing he can invite you into his world that he might otherwise be self-confident about. He seems to enjoy what he does and it is a great escape and yes it can be a little isolating, but you should really pick and choose your battles here because as someone who suffers from severe depression an escape is sometimes all you have if you can’t afford the proper medication or therapy to get your stuff in order. Especially if he has a hard time self-regulating his emotions. Give him a little more time and try to be a little more supportive and maybe even join him so that he doesn’t feel like he’s just doing this for himself but he can do this for the both of you and he’ll know that he has you right by his side.
Depression is just an excuse. Video games are an addiction just like drugs or alcohol. It’s a way to escape reality and avoid life. Most people aren’t gonna just stop without some kind of help. He’s already checked out of your relationship. If he were really into you, you wouldn’t have to tell him twice that he’s negatively affecting your relationship. You say you’re going to school and working so your life is already pretty full. I would stay with him until you finish school, then move out and get on with your life. You don’t need a guy like that.
My partner is a big gamer, it doesn’t bother me much. We have just agreed that every few days we spend a bit of time together either watching a film or go out somewhere and it seems to work for us, I mean it might not work for everyone but worth a try.
Everyone deals with depression differently, some people hide themselves away, some people like your partner involve themselves in an activity that they enjoy, I’d say just give him time, if he didn’t play so much before maybe it’s just a phase that he is going through. When you have a down day yourself just say do you mind us spending a little time together before you go lay your game, that way you both get a bit of escape. I’m sure he doesn’t mean to be the way he is, if he is struggling right now then his brain will be fogged and he won’t realise how it is affecting you until he sorts himself out.
I hope this helps or gives you some reassurance
When I read the first part I thought it meant wives that game and I got excited.
Did you marry a child my husband never plays games or watch sports we literally talk for hours after he gets home from work because we worked at the same place he even calls me on his breaks and brings home dinner if I don’t feel like cooking he’s the best man ever
You ain’t being petty. Im a gamer online and my husband is not. I went through a bad patch a couple years ago and I was constantly playing online, he is right, it is a good escape. My husband would come in and make me a coffee, sit with with me. Give me a cuddle it’s those little things that bring us back to reality x
I was more of a gamer then my BF when we got together, ever since we got together over 4 years ago, he started to play video games with me, ever since we got together we both play the same video games, it’s much better than us sitting mindlessly watching our phone or TV, we have fun and communicate while playing with eachother and the friends we have made online, have you tried to play as well?
There needs to be a healthy balance between the video games and your relationship. There is nothing wrong with video games but y’all need to sit down and have a long conversation about what y’all want out of life together. If it’s two different things then it will end up a good relationship to you both and neither will be happy. Maybe suggest a date night, movie night and one day a weekend for you guys to do something together to start out with. Start ‘dating’ again. If he doesn’t want to put forth the effort then I would leave. However, I would also try his way and get a gaming console and play with him one night a week or something and show it goes both ways.
I had the same problem with my ex husband. He didn’t think it was a problem. I even told him that we could get marriage counseling and one one one therapy… he said no, he doesn’t have a problem. I said ok. Next day, I packed up my stuff and left… if he Durant seem that there’s an issue, then he isn’t young to change.