Has anyone ever made a relationship work with someone who had way different political views?

Hi All, not mama related but looking for advice. Has anyone ever made a relationship work with someone who is drastically on the other side of the political fence than their partner? We have attempted just not discussing things but with the current landscape of the world that is hard to do. We do not agree politically or religiously and it is getting to the point that we may just have to walk away. Seems so silly to end a relationship over politics. But it’s so much bigger than that when you are raising little humans into adults. If you’ve been in this situation, any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!

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You’re clearly online do something about this one

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Me and my husband have differing political views. We both understand and respect that the other has different views and both understand that our kids will one day have their own views. We dont talk to each other about politics in front of the kids and we dont let ourselves get heated about our differences

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I wouldn’t even date someone with opposite political views than me. Many of my morals are tied into them and I wouldn’t compromise on that.

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Only if they agree to disagree and is open minded to other people’s beliefs.

If you have to constantly defend what you believe in and argue, it is not worth it. It won’t work.

In my opinion our political opinions shouldn’t be heavily impeded on our children. There is a difference between raise them with values and an understanding of your own political feelings and making your kids believe what you do. Your actually in the perfect position to give your child the best of both sides, politically and religiously. The best you can do is work to understand one another and not let it be an issue in front of your kids.

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I refuse to even entertain the idea of dating someone with opposing political or religious views. They are two major beliefs that make someone who they are. Morals are bound to political/religious beliefs and I will not compromise on any of them.

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I used to struggle with this. Sometimes still do but alot has been agree to disagree. His views might be different than mine but his views haven’t changed the way he loves me or treats other people. Hes still a good man with his own opinions … maybe the wrong opinions :joy:but I still love him :heart:

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I have an ex who I am very good friends with. Politically we are night and day different. I continue to talk to hime and educate him. (There is no 'agreeing to disagree in our situation.) We don’t have children together and this IS part of the reason that we aren’t together. Our spiritual values are very simolar though so that makes him a little easier to reach.

Both y’all need to grow up

My parents had different views and made it work till they both passed away. My husband and I also have different views, we have been married for 2 years.

My ex and i have different religious believes. (I dont believe in anything, he does, our kids believe in god also. Thats alright with me.) I dont think we ever had a disagreement on politics. My boyfriend and i are on the same page with it all.

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Hard no.

Political views boil down to morals

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My boyfriend and I differ on politics a little bit but differ drastically religiously. I am a Christian he does not believe in religion. We maintain a healthy relationship by him not saying bad about religion/Christianity when I’m around, and I do not force my religion on him. He is fine with me having our daughter get baptized one day and going to church with me when the covid thing is done. We respect the difference in opinions and we’re able to have open discussions about our beliefs/opinions and why we choose those opinions

My boyfriend and I are going through this right now. Normally it’s really not an issue but with this being an election year I have noticed it has gotten harder because we have a greed not to talk about certain things just to keep things on the up and up and sometimes he will still throw comments out there when he knows how I feel. I definitely do not think it’s worth ending a relationship over especially if the rest of the relationship is OK. I’m not really sure what is going to happen with my relationship because we kind of got into a heated argument yesterday but it wasn’t really about political stuff it was coming down to all the things going on in the world today. I think it’s hard when one partner has experienced certain things in life and the other one has not and it’s hard for them to relate on certain things. But I still feel that each one has To Step in to the others shoes and try to see things with a more open mind

We like to compartmentalize politics as if it’s something other than what is deeply woven into our person. These days “politics” dictates how we treat others, how we ALLOW others to be treated, and for a large majority of us is a foundational part of our moral compass. It’s one thing to have a difference of opinion on a matter, but if the political views of your significant other are so vastly different that it effects how you raise your children, your social circle, the ways you can (or can’t) communicate with them, it’s more than reasonable to re-evaluate your relationship with them.

I don’t think it has to be political or religious lines, so much as what you both agree are the basic values and morals you want your children to be raised with. It is okay to respectfully agree to disagree, and offer different perspectives of certain things, but certain core principles have to be held by both.

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I have different religion views with .y husband (15 years together) and occasionally we discuss them, but in a nice way. If he .makes fun of my beliefs (agnostic/spiritism) I tell him its not nice and he apologises. We never really fought over it, he is an atheist and we have 2 kids, who can in the future choose what fits better to them.

Yes, we’ve been married for almost 20 yrs and we both view our marriage as a really great one. We do discuss politics and religion. We differ ok both to varying degrees. One thing that makes it possible for us is that we respect each other and disagree with respect. We have 5 children and they definitely benefited from a life with multiple view points. I think we are very similar morally, meaning we both see the same moral goal but how we arrive there maybe different.
The single thing that I think helps us stay strong is that we do not right fight. When we argue both if us are open to realizing we maybe wrong. We also sincerely consider each others point if view. None of that is easy and we spent several years at war before we matured learned tbe right way to handle things in our marriage.

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Its completely ok! Your political views are your own, and what you put in the ballot box is private to you. For a perfect analogy, If you ask an Indian like me, where the primary serious segregation begins with vegetarian & “non-vegetarian”. People who marry between these two groups cannot co exist easily or raise kids with similar values, but as a matter of fact they do, in the recent generations. Its all about giving space to each other in a relationship. You can laugh off differences and still be together!

You both need to look at what’s important to you, and that’s your children. Although you both have different views on religion and politics, it’s Okay to agree to disagree without feeling overwhelmed.

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20 years and two kids. It’s very important to him (national and foreign politics), what’s important to me tends to be my own little patch of land. We have raised 2 intelligent and objective kids. One leans his way, one mine. Sometimes we shout at each other, but usually we agree not to discuss it. Sometimes we have fun, purely philosophical discussions. But not often, lol. Agree to disagree. His morals are firmly where mine are and so anything else we work around.

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Politicians are not going to raise your tiny humans. Everyone has their own vote for a reason. If you respect and love each other, you can respect the fact that everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

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I hate politics🙄 to me, if you believe in something & you hear someone say something that you don’t necessarily agree with, agree to disagree… if it gets to the extent of crossing the line, say what you feel you need to say & walk away. I say this more in the “friends have a different view” perspective, so I don’t know how that would work in an actual relationship… I think it may be the hardest thing to do, but it’s probably best to just walk away from it if you don’t feel like ends will be met🤷🏻‍♀️

We don’t. It’s just doesnt work out. We agreed that we will support our girls in their views however our house is divided and there’s nothing wrong with that :heart:

Sadly it’s just not realistic to keep pushing for a relationship with someone who thinks and believes in different things than you do. It ended both of my relationships in the end.

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In my experience unless you and your other agree on politics, religion, and children it’s gonna be a rough relationship

I do believe the times we live in matter to this situation…
Politically it’s difficult yes very difficult if your in opposition.
Religion: that depends
Catholic vs Baptist
Believer vs non
The issue really has to be handled as adults
And sometimes thats the part that hurts the most…

  1. Is now the the time?
  2. Do you love or are you in love. It does matter.
  3. Scale the weight—does the bad outweigh the good?
  4. Do the kids WHICH YOU CHOSE TO HAVE get a fair shake-
  5. Forgive yourself if the answers are all leaning toward separating.
    My equation, my scales, my situation called for
    Divorce.
    Don’t listen to the voices—-family or friends. Find professional help even if it’s just one session.

Unfortunately no. First off, politics are poison. But when it comes down to it what your partner is saying comes from their true beliefs and morals. So if that isnt something you like, then i would stop it now. You can only avoid it so long

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I wouldn’t be able to marry someone whose views completely oppose mine.

Depends on how pushy you are. if you have this thought pattern that everyone who believes differently than you is immoral and should be chastised for it, probably not. If you tend to think more in shades of grey, yes.

Your values and morals need to be at the same level or else it won’t work

Yes Myself and most of friends we all seem too fond ourselves in this situation

Yep, married and we just don’t talk politics!!

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Yep. We just don’t talk politics w each other.

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I wouldn’t even bother.

You can’t, don’t even try

If those political views contradict your own morals and values then I think you have to let the relationship go.
At this point I’ve even had to re-evaluate friendships with people who have different political views.

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My husband and I don’t have the same religious belief. But before we had our son, we made a compromise. He will learn about all and he can choose himself when he is old enough to understand. I feel like the more you learn about your partners views on things it, as well as they learn about your own views. You can sometimes work on a compromise. You have to be open minded. But it also doesn’t mean you have to like his views. Just be open to listen.

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Me and my husband have very difficult political views but we have the same morals and family values… we can all be different but the same :joy:

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I think it comes down to morals… for me anyways. I’m not religious and am open to my husbands beliefs, although he isn’t religious either. But if my husbands morals were not aligned with mine I dont see how we could be together. I mention morals because I feel politics and morals can overlap eachother at times.

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You can have different veiws on anything you want. You are 2 different people! Maybe a rule no political views in the house 🤷 keep them to yourself🤷 but as for religious views teach your kids about about both of them. Let the decide show them that you can be your own person and still love another no matter veiws

I personally cant be with someone who doesnt have the same views as me. Thats just me though.

Ditto on the morals
You can raise children together but if its something crazy like multiple wives and what not maybe take a break and have a one on one with yourself
If its just political i say try and over look it
Or when the kids get older they can choose :woman_shrugging:

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It’s not about politics. It’s about personal beliefs & what you find important values in your country. I get not agreeing on everything. No 2 people can. But your morals & values? That’s going to be a tough relationship.

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There are things you overlook and compromise and there are things you don’t. Values and morals are the things you don’t compromise. You can listen and be open to other perspectives, but if you differ on core values, you cannot have a healthy relationship or raise kids well together.

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No trumpster is getting anywhere near all this!

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It may be wrong but I just couldn’t bring myself to vote for a Trump supporter :woman_shrugging:

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I mean if you guys have enough respect for each other then you can make it work. What it boils down to are your priorities in life. What’s more important? Being happy or being right? Being with someone you truly love and care about or walking away because they don’t share your political beliefs? I understand that politely beliefs are very important to some people I’m not denying that or judging that but at the end of the day you need to worry about what happens under your own roof with your own loved ones.

I’m going to say something and piss a lot of people off but that’s ok.
When it comes to political stuff I’m thoroughly a moderate.
I can see both sides of any given issue. Even my personal feelings tend to lie in the middle.

My suggestion is for BOTH of you to really research the issues. Not just what you see on mainstream television but actual research with the goal of finding the “positives” in the other persons viewpoint and teach yourselves tolerance.
Because from where I sit in no-mans land…both sides of political issues are intolerant and discriminatory.
Both sides are hateful and mean when you dont agree with them.

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those are such basic values that I don’t see why anyone would want to share a life with someone who is the opposite of them. My husband and I often have different perspectives on issues but we share the same basic liberal, caring about others and the earth values. It makes me sick to hear a couple of family members spout racist, sexist, conspiracy crap, but they live far away and I don’t have to see them–can’t imagine living with someone like that! Though it is possible to have different religious beliefs as long as they are not fundamentalist --I have a friend whose church is different than her husbands but the values are not too different and they do visit each other’s church for special occasions and that works for them. But could a Muslim live with a fundamentalist christian? Probably not!

My husband and I have very different views regarding politics. We’ve been happily married for 21 years.

Religion and politics are 2 basic beliefs I feel like husband and wife should share.

While my husband and I both are in the same political party, we have different opinions on things. While he leans more towards one way, I can see both sides of an issue and stance on things. We talk and discuss things going on in the world and America.

If you 2 are fighting that bad about politics and cannot get along and see that each one has different opinions then you both need to grow up. I understand you see things differently but fighting that bad over politics in a marriage or relationship is childish.

I guess it depends on the views and what you consider political. For me political = how much tax dollars to invest in schools vs small businesses. Ethical/Not-political = whether all people should have basic human rights and be respected.

My husband is pretty far right, but I’m like right down the middle. We don’t talk politics, but he isn’t the type to force his beliefs onto others like alot of far right and far left do.

I personally lean right more than left on certain things and vice versa. Its politics. No matter who you vote for, they’re corrupt.

No but I tried and failed a couple times lol

It depends if the two of you can be respectful about agreeing to disagree. If each of you spend your life trying to change the other’s mind by arguing and getting into insult-laden “discussions,” that will make life hard and will especially become difficult while raising children. There are basic values, also, that, if your partner does not have them, may be a complete dealbreaker for you. Basic values like agreeing that lying, cheating, stealing, etc. are wrong. Sometimes politics and value-systems intertwine. It can work if your basic value systems are the same; if not, it probably will not work. In my marriage, we stayed away from getting into who the other voted for, though we pretty much knew. The greater good overrode our political leanings if that makes sense. The world is in a particularly difficult spot right now where there is outright scary hate towards one another when people disagree. It’s so sad!!

It’s not hard to not discuss a trigger topic. You have control of what words come out of your mouth and he has control of what words come out of his.

No. It won’t work out. Don’t waste your time.

Me & my husband agree on some things and not on others. We’re happily married, I think as long as you respect that you both are allowed to have your own opinion then that’s how you make it work. By being respectful of the others beliefs but still strongly believe that your right i feel like would help your kids more. They can see both sides , different views which in my opinion is better then raising them one way to believe one way is the "correct " way. Sorry I kind of dragged for awhile :rofl:

You have to look at all politicians from both sides …as the very rich. And us as the poor… They don’t really care about the poor . but they use the poor to get richer. And if it is a problem with two people in love with one another. Then yall are living a lie. Because nothing should come between. Two people in love .

My mum and stepdad strongly disagree on politics , they dont discuss it with each other.

I’ve been married to my hubby 36 years. Lately, it’s ALL THE DEMOCRATS FAULT. I have told him many, many times politics and dinner don’t go together. Deep breath, eye roll, go do something else.

How big is way big? Is it politics or morals and values? If you share the same basic morals and values then yeah you can disagree in politics, but you can’t disagree on human rights and raise a family together. If your partner is anti gay and you aren’t what happens when your son grows up and tells you he is gay? If you are pro choice and your husband is pro life what happens if your daughter gets pregnant at 15?
If your husband doesn’t believe in interracial relationships what happens if you have biracial grandchildren? Don’t confuse politics with morals and values. Politics used to mean how do we think the government should operate? Unfortunately It has dwarfed into letting the government tell us how to live our lives - which is not the place of government.

The biggest thing you would need to work on is respecting the others beliefs. Then it could work.

Politic and religion is not mixed or talked about with family/friends/significant others. It’s a personal choice that anyone can have. So by not mixing it, we avoid it, problem solved.

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