Has anyone ever had their husband/wife join the military later in life? We are in our mid-twenties, been married for a little over a year but together for 6. We have a child together who will be starting school soon. My husband has told me he wants to join the military. I feel like this is completely going to change our lives, and I don’t know if it’s for the better or not? Does anyone have any insight? The good, bad, and ugly? Thank you.
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I joined at the age of 26 with a toddler and my now ex wife was pregnant. It is life changing but I feel like it was a good life change for us. It really just depends on the family and if you guys can make it work. It comes with great benefits and a housing allowance which was definitely nice!
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I’m a retired military wife. You can talk to me if you have questions
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As a former military spouse with kids, I highly do not recommend this. And my ex-husband would tell you he agrees. But that is just our experience with it.
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My husband joined at 30. No regrets. He retired and missed it so much.
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My husband joined the military when our daughter was 1, and he was 21. We had a son and a daughter while he was active duty.
I think its a wonderful idea. Going into the military married, insures you get to live together after basic training and tech school. You will have that time without him for about the first year.
If you have a supportive family, it will fly by.
I recommend Air Force, deployments are usually fewer. Navy they spend alot of time on ship, and Marines and Army deal with a lot of deployment.
I am an Air Force veterans wife, ten years. We traveled many places, he made good money and loved every minute of it.
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Just consider all the benefits which are good and also something barely people talk about, as it affects some people not all but some, depression, pstd, some can handle some others cant
And mainly if your husband is going means you will be by yourself long periods of times. Basic training is hard and no communication
My husband was 25 and it was the best decision we ever made. It gets hard and you definitely need to surround yourself with good people but there are so many benefits.
Maybe think about the moving you may have to do? I’m not sure how it works. Just thinking as far as your child and starting school. Moving. Etc. would be hard
I joined myself at age 26 with a husband and a 2 year old. I went in the reserves so not active duty. Which was my compromise to my husband. The military has a lot of great things to offer, but can definitely be a hard life to live. Maybe try to compromise and have him join reserves/national guard to get the feel of it. Then if both of you really like it, he can switch to active duty. But everyone either loves or hates the military so you’re going to get answers on complete opposite ends of the spectrum.
My husband is about to be getting out, he joined when he was around 25. We both agree that it was the best move for both of us in order to save money, have benefits, job security, etc. Its not easy but the pros outweighed the cons at the time. However, I grew up in a military family so it’s nothing that I’m not used to.
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My husband just retired. Retirement is 100% worth it.
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My husband was in the army from 2012 to 2019 and I personally wouldn’t recommend it to anyone with kids or that likes to see their friends and family. Me, my husband and our kids were relieved when he got out. Also, plan on moving a lot. And being alone a lot. Never really knowing when you’ll be able to visit home or when you’ll be able to plan pretty much anything. Also I really do not recommend it if you plan to have more children unless you’re okay with your husband missing the births. Between trainings and deployments… just a whole lot of nope from me. My step dad, grandfather, uncles, aunt, cousins, etc have all been military. So I had an idea of what to expect, but it’s completely different when it is your spouse. It’s rough. Very very rough. And my husband isn’t the same as he use to be either. He’s 100% different and that doesn’t make it easier either. It is rough and I honestly wouldn’t recommend it. I’m really glad that I got pregnant because I was suppose to be going into the army. And I feel like I dodged a bullet after living the life of just a spouse. I still worked during my husbands time in the army, but it was hard and I ended up changing jobs a lot too. We also have 7 children currently and pregnant with our 8th. I’m only just now being able to go back and finish nursing school too. Which is frustrating to me because I should have already been done.
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Pros: He can get his college paid for, you get free health insurance and possible stipend for your housing allowance, there’s a great network/ support system of other military spouses. Cons: you move a lot, he probably won’t like his job and there’s nothing he can do about it, he may travel overseas or on deployment and you will be separated from him for long periods of time without communications. Also, if you go in as unlisted, the pay isn’t great. Do your research and make an informed decision. Some people love and and some people hate it.
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This could make you guys a stronger couple or split up. It’s hard on kids. You will be moving every several years. Sometimes Navy can be on their ship or sub for 10 months at a time. I hear air force is easier on the family. You do get to see a lot of new places. Which is cool! But you will also have to make new friends. And it could be difficult to see family, especially with covid going on right now. I have not seen two of my brothers for a few years. And the other one that is luckily stationed on main land was able to visit a few months ago for a week. It was hard for him to get leave to visit. It will change your significant other a lot. Military wives can be a nightmare lol. Some are great. It’s also a stressful job. He will probably miss holidays, birthdays and special events.
There are a lot of cons. But there are a lot of pros too. It just depends on you guys and what you decide together. You are a family now. I have 3 brothers and an ex who are all active. I have 4 cousins who I used to be close with (until after bootcamp and training/school) who are out. They are ALL soooo different now. My ex and I have a son together. He lives across the country and his son doesn’t know who he is, but that is his own choice. Trying to keep in contact is hard. They are very busy.
My husband was in the marines 6 years . You can go with him and get military housing
as a military spouse for 18 years its not all bad just like any job or oil field jobs or any other traveling jobs has its up has its down
My husband of 4 years joined when he was in his early twenties midway through college. When we got together I was 26/27 and became a military wife at 28. He deployed two weeks after we got married. I had a hard time at first but it’s given us so many great benefits: I work from home part time so I can be with our daughter, he is finishing his degree and giving me some of his GI bill so I can get my masters, great healthcare, paid-for on post housing (or off with housing $$), reasonably priced child care, and most importantly a stable career. There are long days, deployments and it can get rough but if you have a good support system it’s not bad at all.
My husband is AGR (Active Guard Reserve) with the Guard. This is an awesome route to go. He would have to join a branch and work his way up a little bit then they have full time positions avaliable. We enjoy the many benefits of a military family (base pay, housing allowance, insurance, retirement) but have the stability of not having to move and uproot our family.
It was a great life for our family.
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My husband joined before we married but after our first child was born. He was in his mid-20s. I think it did him some good. He’s not still in and it was hard but it was worth it.
Great life for our family. Only down part was a seperate tour. With technology now families can share everything.
Ii provided us a great life! Married 24 years and he is still in. You may have to survive deployments (my husband has been deployed 3 times) but in the long run its worth it.
Free medical for the family, 30 days leave and pretty good retirement, seperation will be tough
My husband joined late like late 20s pushing 30. Right after our 1st was born. It’s been some adjustments but all in all I’ve grown to enjoy it . And it’s gave us a stable life without worry
I was in the military and now my husbands in the military and it was great for me until my contract ended and i decided to move forward with being a civilian which i kinda regret lol
But,
It’s great security for your family, steady income all the time and medical insurance. There’s good and bad days, there’s gonna be many days when you don’t know what time he’ll be home and you guys will miss holidays, birthdays, anniversary’s etc. he won’t always be able to take leave and go to every appointment etc deployments/field problems will probably suck for you since he’ll be gone for a while but it’s a great opportunity for your family to be able to travel, schooling for himself, you or even your kids. You’ll meet great people that end up being like family, many different opportunities for everyone. It had its ups/downs but definitely think it’s not bad to join, years fly by fast so even if he enlist for 4 and be done it’ll go over so fast.
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Not enough information to advise you. How is he going to join the military? Entering as a jr enlisted man or through a commissioning program as an officer, or is he a medical doctor/nurse or attorney? As a jr enlisted man his pay may not be what you are used too but your medical insurance will be covered. As an Doctor there will be better pay and housing for family will either be provided or compensation for it provided. Mid 20s isn’t exactly old and is fairly common time to join. Need to look at all angles before deciding.
My husband and I were married for ten years, had 2 kids, and were in our 30’s. We loved our life and the kids learned a lot but, it is not an easy task. I spent a great deal of time being head of household, mom, and dad. We had to work together. His job wasn’t easy but, neither is the job of being left behind.
I grew up with my Dad in air force. I’m kicking my ass for not joining up. You get paid trade ,good salary and transfers and meet great friends for life DO IT u won’t regret.
You get out of it what you put in. If you are a loner it will be difficult. You will have to find new friends every time you move but by the time you leave they are family and if he stays in until retirement you will have friends all over the world. Not a bad life some times and duty stations are difficult but when it is all said and done you can handle alot more than you think you can. Your kids may change schools often but they adapt better than you think they will and will make many memories of all the places you live. My grandaughter and I were just discussing this over the holidays. She attended 8 different schools in 12 years but has great memories of their travels
My friends husband joined late 20sand is still in and it’s 20plus years later, they have five kids and have been able to see the country and send kids to college, it’s the best choice he made, not easy but do able, he is currently in Germany with his family in Texas
There are benefits for you and the kids being in a military family
Your children will get an opportunity to experience all the world’s culture. Unless you have a huge career that won’t allow you to relocate or work remotely, go for it!
It definitely needs to be an in-depth discussion between you two. If you have a good relationship I don’t see it being a bad thing but depending on his job he could be gone a lot.
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Well , you won’t always have him around , but it’s not too bad if you love your independence. Plus u don’t gotta worry about rent & if ur working that is just extra income to stack up while he completes his contract . Idk 
if you don’t mind being alone & u trust the relationship is solid , don’t worry , he’s the one that’s going to have to deal with the shit end of the stick .
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I can relate because my ex wanted to do this. It didn’t pan out but I believe if you dont allow him to pursue it hell resent you for it. Also there are huge sacrifices but lots of benefits. Good luck😊
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I joined at 35. My husband and I were married for less than a year. He’s pretty independent. So it was great for us. The healthcare is great. You get to travel etc. honestly you have a whole new family. It was wonderful. I did 4 years and left medically. The pension (if you stay 20 years)/medical pay is excellent.
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my cousin joined at 28 and he is married. he just finished basic training. his wife and kids are now moving to his stationed area (from ohio to florida)
Amber Diana Westfall
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Yes mine joined at 37 he was and he lived every minute he is 49 now and just got out.
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My husband was 25 & we were together for 8 yrs, married for 3 with 2 kids when he decided to join. He has been in for almost 10 yrs now & it was the best decision we could have made for our family. I was super nervous at first, but we make it work. Everyone’s situation is different though, so only you know what is right for you. Good luck with your decision!
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My husband kinda did. He went to college, and was working as a chef. Then decided to enlist after his mom and grandma passed away in the same week.
My husband is currently in the military he could always goes reserves and still have the civilian life and have extra income as well and still go out to train
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I personally couldn’t handle it and I think thats ok. But unfortunately there’s only the options of go with it, make it work out or split up
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The ugly is you HAVE to be ok with being alone!! I LOVED it. I got to be in charge of everything household, but that’s my nature. Im very independent and you absolutely gain the unit as another family but if you are very dependent on him it will be rough. You need to be a strong person even as a spouse but you either love it or hate it.
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I happen to be the spouse who joined later in life. I joined the army when I was 27, our son being 5 at the time. My husband was in the army when we first got together (we’ve been together 9 years now) but got out a couple years later. We were in a very rough spot financially and I knew the benefits of being active in the military and I knew it would provide a fantastic stepping stone in our lives. Since he understands, he fully supported it. We are in such a better place right now. I get my college classes completely paid for, we don’t pay rent for the townhouse we are living in, we have fantastic health insurance and when we are ready to purchase our first home, we have the VA loan to use which will make things so much easier for us. Now the military, especially active, does have a lot of down sides. You are basically kissing freedom away. He will become government property. The military always says “family first” but sometimes service members are stuck with really bad leadership and it becomes “military first, second and third. I don’t care who has a family”. I personally have good leadership so me having a family does actually mean something to them. It could honestly go either way. He might be gone doing training weeks at a time and of course there’s the possibility of deployment. Don’t let the bad scare you out of all of the good. Only you two know if the sacrifice is worth it. It was to us. And if he does decide to join, please know that training is stressful so just be the shoulder he can lean on and be his biggest supporter. He will need you more than ever.
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At 1st it can be rough, make sure you have about 2 months of money to cover everything set aside before he goes to basic. The recruiter will sometimes say they gets paid right away, but that isn’t always the case. My husband didn’t get paid till his graduation day as did the others he was with in basic. We had 2 kids ages 3 & 2 when he joined and we almost lost everything if it wasn’t for family helping out. Other than that it was great, the Healthcare was good, we got to experience new places with our kids for 6 whole years, then he decided to get out as his next 4 yrs would’ve been attached to a boat and out to sea for the majority of those 4 years. Deployments suck, especially if your not independent and fine with truly being alone with your child in a new place.
Smartest thing you can do an will enjoy it. I love it an still get the itch to move.
Congratulations to him!!!
The amount of benefits makes it well worth it if you and your husband are mentally strong enough to handle every change you will see in your lives from it.
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Definitely wouldn’t call mid-twenties later in life. However, I think it’s a great move. Both my husband and I are active duty. I’ve noticed the people who “went out and experienced life” before joining the military were more successful than those who came in straight out of high school. The medical benefits, retirement benefits, education benefits (which can be passed on to your kid while your husband gets $4500 a year in TA to pursue an education while on active duty), and life insurance benefits are also a bonus. It’s hard to PCS frequently, but if you find a place you like, you can always put in to stay. Things will also depend on what job he gets selected for or chooses because that will set the deployment tempo and work schedule for however long his career is.
My spouse is in the military we have twins that are 2 but due to covid they arent deploying anyone unless they absolutely have to and keep canceling/postponing dates for him right now. It’s not terrible but it does get a little more stressful with the kids when he’s gone you have to make sure that you have people around to help you
Oh god. You just referred to your mid 20’s as later in life 
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I was single when I joined AF at 24 I think now I’m a spouse. So easy and it when by fast. But dual military gives you double the benefits. But yes it will be a big change unless you decide on reservist. Joining same branch is probably best as long as you have different jobs.
My friend joined at the age of 40. My daughter and her daughter were best friends so it was hard for them but we couldnt be happier for them. And yes, it’s for the best. There is a lot of sacrifice but worth it. To see them flourish on the other side of the country makes me beyond proud 
I’m 30. My husband is 27. We’ve been together for 10 years and married for 6 and he just joined the army back in September. We also have 2 children (5 &1.5 years older) it is a big change. He’s been gone since 09/14 and graduates from AIT on 3/11
I knew we are just starting out on this journey…but I do believe that for now it has definitely made our relationship stronger. It’s much different going from seeing each other daily and calling and texting daily to only communicating thru letters. But I think that’s what helped with us. We communicate 100x better now than in august
There are so many factors missing.
- Active military or something like national guard or reserves?
- What does he plan on going in for? (His job)
My husband and I are both in. I’m national guard and have been for 9 years in July. (I joined at 20 because I didn’t have a job and had a 1 yo) and my husband is reserves (he joined at 29(maybe?)). I’m a low deployment MOS. While it’s rare for me to deploy it still happens. My husband is a medic. But is stateside on a mission for the past 2 years and wasn’t deployable.
It all depends on how you feel it will affect your family ultimately. NG and Reserves isn’t bad. I wish I could have went active when I first joined. But NG has been good to me. I was able to get a pretty cushy full time job through them with great pay and my husband was able to get NREMT qualified free and fast.
Depends which service. My son won’t even date because he says it’s too tough to maintain a relationship when you’re at sea for the bulk of the time.
Active duty or Reserves? Lifer or in for a few? Officer or enlisted? OK with rules & constant education or a rebel? In the higher levels you need to be politically astute to advance. You might get to live in other countries that are fun or be separated while your spouse is stuck in a hellhole for 9 months.
There’s always the possibility of making the “ultimate sacrifice,” but depends on the service, the job, and the deployments he will have as to the risk. Coast Guard seems less dangerous and you often do heroic stuff you can talk about.
You won’t get laid off, but if you fail to advance after a certain period, you can get kicked out. If you make it to 20 years (can include Reserve duty), you get nice benefits.
If you’re doing it for the money, it ain’t worth it.
If you’re doing it for a better career you’ve got to be like mega patient and if you want to own instead renting your property then unless you’re stationed in the same base for X amount of years, you’re just always going to be apart.
Also, there’s living on or off the base. I LOVE living off base. Just feels free-er
From family experience it’s great!! Would highly recommend it for anyone!!!
Coast Guard is AWESOME!!!
Dual military here. My husband was national guard and I was active duty army. He deployed twice. The 1st time I was pregnant with my oldest he made it back just in time. The 2nd time he got injured and almost didnt make it back in time 4 my twins due 2 the program he was in 4 recovery. I got out when i got prego with my oldest because it was more important 2 see my kid grow up then be away from her all the time. Between drills, annual trainings, and deployments, my husband has missed alot of my oldest 1st and has been in her life maybe a consecutive year. Shes almost 6. He just retired medically at 29. It isnt 4 the faint of heart and it isnt all its cracked up 2 be. U move alot which gets exhausting after awhile. It’s almost impossible 2 get any time off without jumping through a million hoops. If u have family far away it’s a choice as 2 which 2 see. The hours sometimes get unreasonable and kids just dont understand at young ages as 2 y parents arnt there only that they weren’t. My advice though if he does join. Join the air force. The deployments are only 6 months and depending on MOS (job he chooses) they will be far and few between. The pay is better and so much easier 2 rank up which means better pay. 4 some it works great others it just destroys their lives. I would think long and hard about it.
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Not good at this time. War is coming.
My dad joined the army when I was around 5 to help ease the bills for our family. We lived on base and you don’t have to pay taxes so it saved them a lot. It was really hard when he was sent to Iraq for 10 months, and I’m sure it was hard on my mom. But they saved enough money to move us closer to family when he was out, plus it paid for him to go back to college. They were around 25 when he joined
Congrats to him! My husband was in his mid twenties when he joined. Was it hard being a military spouse? Heck yes it is but it changes your life for the better. Free insurance, free money for cost of living, when you move they pay for it, plus on some bases they have malls! You get amazing discounts at!! You’ll be able to get mental health help from other wives if your struggling, and everyone who is military comes together like a true family! My husband got out after 12 years. He’s 100% disabled but can still work veteran and my daughter now has free college (huge weight off of our shoulders) my husband has free schooling and we receive a monthly payment for his service. So to answer your question no your not old, he’s choosing to do something very honorable, your life will change and you’ll get see and meet some amazing people and places♥️ please show him support on this decision