It’s bad enough he might be cheating but however way he gets off can’t he clean himself up? Disgusting mannnnnn???
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Do not be STUPID kick him to the curb
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Ew he probally has an std …go get checked and leave his ass
All red flags. Run for the hills
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Go with your gut. Sounds like he is cheating.
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If u really feel the need to check the man’s underwear 
and phone, then u already know the answer. 
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Well that should answer your question right there… He’s locked everything, deletes things, comes home wih that in his underwear, men don’t sit and leak that much unless they relive themselves or have sex. Mine doesn’t sit there and have that in his ever the only time it gets on his underwear is if we had a quickie. Other wise they wouldn’t let it get on their underwear if it was them doing it themselves. The whole situation is suspicious and I’d start asking alot more questions…
I mean, even if he’s not cheating, why is he allowed to get himself off all the time at work and you’re just supposed to be ok with him preferring his hand over you? I would tell him you’re gonna go buy yourself a toy. The bigger the better! See how he likes it!
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All the above is a RED FLAG.
Definitely all red flags. Men don’t just leak cum kick him to the curb and find a better man!
He sound like a creep like what you mean he at work .i would definitely see this as a red flag and cut him out or something ion want you to be out the street so talk to a family member to see if you can stay at they place until you figure things out. Because this just to much
I think all the signs are there
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You pretty much answered your own question he’s probably cheating he’s locking that work phone and is doing all the deleting and things that you say on his personal phone he has something to hide and if it’s not another woman then yeah maybe it’s porn maybe jacking off on a regular but I would assume that with the lock on his work phone that it might be another woman I hope not I personally would much prefer to find out it was porn if it was me
What? You check is undies
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How red do the flags have to be? Are there not enough of them?
None of this is normal behaviour.
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Red flags my dear becomes spy all the phone co ask for a email or print receipt have a camera borrow a friend’s car that he does not know and take a couple little trips around the neighborhood during lunch hour after he leaves for work before he’s due to come home get some binoculars many many years ago I have a cheater I was very young and naive and my girlfriend said back then we didn’t have cell phones so get a disposable camera some binoculars let’s start writing so we did and it’s be ready for what you see but that’s where you get your proof when you confront them and if you’ve been married I live in Ohio if you’ve been married over 10 years you’re entitled to alimony you have children child support get him where it hurts in the wallet there is no need for him to come home like that and I would say then if you are leaking you need to go to the doctor for a checkup that’s BS honey wake up and smell the coffee and be your own best friend get all of your evidence pictures whatever take a friend with you for a witness and then just lay it out one evening and give him an ultimatum take it from someone who’s been there and went through this very young I was in my early twenties we wound up getting a divorce his girlfriend was pregnant when we got divorced I met someone else a few months later got married and was married 28 years to the absolutely love of my life I would still be married to him but in a night he died from cancer again I met someone remarry been married 12 years and wouldn’t have it any other way there is life after being married to a cheater just remember you have to be your own best friend your own advocate and your own voice
Girl…. Because you’re married I’d suggest getting proof, because divorces can be rough without it (if you chose to go that route). I don’t want to be like “He’s cheating!” and cause stress further stress for you, but he’s cheating.
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He is cheating one way or another
What? He has cum on his underwear? Like he just busts a load right in his pants? I’d call a doctor. For sure. Like for you, a head doctor, who checks their S/O’s underwear?
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Do people actually check their husbands underwear?
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So many red flags you already know the answer it sounds like he’s cheating
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How much more do you need to know he’s cheating?
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Do you really need people to point out the obvious?
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Hire a private investigator.
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He may also be having discharge from an std, and part of the reason he won’t come on to you
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Sounds like he’s cheating and i’d show up to his job lol that’s jus me tho
Checking your husband’s underwear for cum is wierd as hell and all the women on here commenting about red flags would be screaming if this was a man saying he was checking his girlfriend’s underwear 
I’m sure they leak just like women do🙄 not Everyman cheats
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You know what to do….make a exit plan and say peace 
out.
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Wow 
I think you should seek professional help . If you’re that paranoid to go as low to checking his dirty underwear I would cheat on you just for being disgusting
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He would NO longer be my husband!
Cheating on you get out while you can before he gives you something that ajax can’t get rid of.
Get rid and find yourself a man with clean pair of boxers 
… x
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Girl you already know. Just get rid of him.
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If I had to deal with all of that, I wouldn’t deal with it for long!
Stop wasting precious time you don’t get back!
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I think you already know in your heart.
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Don’t wash them chuck them whilst preparing to leave his sad ass
Wait…he said he masturbates at work? What type of work does he do? This is kind of odd to me. He cant get through work without masturbating? Very odd. I wouldnt be ok with my husband locking his phone either.
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Men can pre or leak it’s not impossible lol. Just like women. You can’t know what his body is always doing because you are not him. However, he is shady with his phone. That I agree. Does he not come on to you because you question him all the time and it’s a turn off? Has he cheated before? I’m
Not trying to take sides I just feel like there is more to the story.
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tell him to do his own washing
If there’s no trust in your relationship then there isn’t a relationship. We can’t control anyone period, all we can do is love them and hope they do the right thing. He obviously isn’t, so why keep giving your energy away? If you are to the point of inspecting the man’s drawers then you’ve already given him too much of your energy.
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Ur seeing all the . U know the answer to this.
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Why even comment if you are going to put her down?! Just keep scrolling!! If you are a wife you would know that doing laundry for him you see things! I don’t think she intentionally inspects his underwear but you see things while doing laundry! I mean come on people!
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Girl why are you asking that you really know the answer to
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Pretty much self explanatory…
Only one way you’re gonna know for sure… get in that phone somehow!!
If it has to be hidden or deleted or locked away…It probably shouldn’t be being done…
Sounds like it is time to go.
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Is all this worth your strss?!?! Leave this boy to grow up and find yourself a man
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Run! Never look back!
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You already know time to leave
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I mean pretty unprofessional to jerk it at work … just throw the whole man away.
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It’s porn ,he knows how u feel so it’s done behind your back ,…
. Your not getting over this for a while and u will always remember what has caused u pain of not knowing
If he has to lock his phone and delete shit hes hiding something and on top of what you’ve already said I think you have your answer. nobody deletes their phone and keeps it locked up and hidden away unless they have something to hide. I’m so sorry you’re going through this I know how much that hurts But there are millions of men out there who aren’t cheating pieces of shit that would treat you the way you deserve to be treated so why waste another second of your life on this man who is clearly lying to your face and treating you like you’re stupid and you don’t know something’s going on. Tell him you know something is going on and if he can’t be up front and honest with you then you aren’t going to waste anymore of your time and he can come find you when he’s ready to man up and tell you the truth.
If it looks like a rat, walks like a rat and acts like a rat then you girlfriend have a rat…you know the answer to your question, don’t believe his words believe his actions…actions speak loader than words!!
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Let him wash his own underwear
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Sounds like a sex addict. Probably a means to an end anyway if he can’t be honest and give you access to his items
So his bloomers are messy, he doesn’t come on to you, he lacks his phone ,and you are asking us? Uh…go with your gut ! That man is CHEATING!!!
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I would leave a anonymous tip for his boss saying someone is acting inappropriate at work or having sex on the job!
Then leave, go get a std check
Do you really need to ask? You know what’s going on
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First of all, whatever he’s doing is gross cause why is he leaving a mess in his undies? Gross. Second, you already know the answer to this.
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I have so many questions! He masturbates at work? What does he do for work? Does he like immediately come home and take his underwear off to be washed? Why would you even notice what’s in his underwear? Don’t you just throw all the laundry in the washing machine like everyone else? And why isn’t he cleaning himself up after he lets the little guy erupt? Hello? Like carry some tissues on you. I can honestly say I have never even thought to inspect my husbands undies.
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Red flag red flag red flag time to save money an divorce his ass
All red flag girl. He’s probably doing all of that. I would leave
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You CAN NOT be this clueless. I refuse to believe it 
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He is a cheater " get rid off him 
How are u even checking?
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How did you find out he had cum in his underwear? And how can you tell? Why is he leaving a mess in his underwear. That’s what’s a little more disturbing. To the point you know what it is.
He’s not at work the entire day. R U N.
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He takes care of himself at work? He’s a f*cking liar. Don’t be so naïve.
He could very well be cheating but what if he’s not & he’s just embarrassed about it & you won’t stop harassing him so now he’s making up reasons for it. Women get discharge in their undies all the time. What if he checked your underwear every time you came home & accused you of cheating because of it? I would be completely turned off & not want to have sex with someone who is constantly accusing me of cheating & checking my dirty underwear.
I would say you need more proof, sit down and talk to him. I would give him the ultimatum of you either unlock your phone or I’m filing for divorce. But if you’re wrong, imagine how bad you’re making this man feel about his own body. You either trust him or you don’t.
Taking care of your self at work. Lol amazing the thing people will say and do
And for those commenting on inspecting his clothes…I look over most of the clothes going into my washer. I spray the stains, etc.
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If it looks like a duck, Walk like a duck…
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U sure he deletes everything depending on service plan can get access to his phone online and see it all that’s how I caught my 1st ex husband cheating. Also u gotta go into account history to permanently delete searches and location history.
There is always a way.
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Is this an excuse or something? If you know then you know…
Kick em to the curb
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Does he work with other people around? I’d be so grossed out if a coworker was doing that at work. 
He’s either being perverted at work or cheating on you. Either one is not okay.
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Definitely a cheater …probably banging someone at work
Got to you’re phone ask for all the text messages from his phone
Or go you’re account look at searches
Always a way hun he’s being sneaky or something
- He’s lying. Obviously cheating.
- If I asked my husband for his password to his phone and he wouldn’t give it to me, I wouldn’t be married anymore. He’s obviously hiding something or he wouldn’t care to give it to you, and he wouldn’t be deleting everything on his other phone.
- I hope you come to realize that you deserve better. I hope you leave. I’m sorry.
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If he’s leaking he definitely has an std.
And if he’s masturbating maybe u guys aren’t having enough sex…
Deleting everything and having a lock on phone is definitely a no. Those are red flags right there that he’s hiding something. So he could be cheating
Yes he is doing all of the above an want it to make that your the crazy one for starting a fight. Been there but never looked in his underwear but by far all these say:triangular_flag_on_post:
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If someone was telling you this and asking advice what would you say?
I would say, your man is being unfaithful in one way or another, yes if he pleasuring himself to porn rather than being pleasured by you it is such a lack of respect, if he prefers that then he shouldn’t be in a relationship, let it out on the table with him, tell him you cannot be in a relationship with secrets and show him the door. Once a man starts on porn it can become an addiction and lead to online sex. The minute he locked and deleted stuff off his phone I would of packed his bags. If he is deleting it he shouldn’t be doing it and he knows it!
You’ve already given him time to admit anything and he has denied so an explanation now isn’t needed, get him out 
You know what’s up, you just don’t want to believe it. I’m sorry girlie 
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Read what you wrote as if someone else wrote it. There lies your answers. I think you know tho.
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Not saying he’s innocent but I have heard of men who jack off at work. No joke. Even in the Porta potty. Like ew. But yeh they’re foul af. Either way it’s not ok.
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Trust. Your. Instincts. It seems like you are very in tune to what you should be looking for.
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So do you make him drop his drawers when he walks through the door so you can check his underwear?
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Your instincts never lie.
Pack up and get out.
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Oh no girl …he gotta go
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I think its pretty clear you’ve been given all the red flags you need. Y’all either seek marriage counseling and work on your marriage or you leave 
Umm… now read this to yourself and pretend it’s someone else… you know the answer 
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Im pretty sure you already know…
I think you already know the answer I’m sorry you’re going thru this
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Ask him to give you permanent access to his phone … look through the App Store and type in different dating or sleazy apps… look up “text now” app too … if hes ever downloaded it , it would have the down arrow already next to it… implying he’s downloaded or used the app and deleted it … men are crafty… he may downloading certain apps, using them when youre not around and then deleting them before he gets home.
Can look through website history too … even if its been deleted… theres ways…
Discovering app or websites hes may or may not be using will give you an idea if hes physically cheating or wacking it to someone virtually.
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What do you mean you don’t know what to do? Yes you do. You stop looking in his underwear, and start looking for a divorce attorney. This isn’t just one red flag. Come on. Are you happy? Doesn’t sound like it. Certainly doesn’t sound like he’s happy either in the marriage. Pull the trigger and either go, or tell him to leave.
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Yep bye Felicia Never should you be made feel this way
I wouldn’t even ask;he said he gets off at work(go over timelines before lashing out to see if he has that much time to cheat)….
Maybe if you’re doubting and LOVE him that much(which I assume you do by the post), being aware that he somewhat admitted (second time, showing grace anyways) Could be a different approach like “thanks for admitting to me after the first denial and see if there’s something y’all can do that would elevate him doing that”… I hate to blame people even tho the admission is after the first attempt. If you really want to work it out, stress the importance of seeing why or how you both can improve in order to work it out. Otherwise call his work, say he’s addicted to jerking it during work hours, leave and that will solve it all. 
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you know the answer. Even if he is really just getting himself off at work, still messed up since he never comes onto you. I’d feel some type of way about that too. “Like oh you can do that at work by yourself but not with me? Hmm. ok.” Likely he’s having an affair though.
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I’m confused… Do guys really do this? 
You know what’s going on, the longer you let him think he is getting away with shit the more he’ll do. You are only hurting yourself hun