How can I cope with losing my best friend?

I’m a mother of teens. I’m a wife. I’m a friend. Can you please post this for suggestions or any uplifting thoughts from others. Thank you. I just recently lost one of my very best friends of 20+ years to cancer. I have an amazing support team but it doesn’t help this lost feeling I have inside. The last seven months I was devoted to helping her daily. Good and bad days. I am not sure what to do with myself now. Seeing her shortly die has really made me question everything. I promised her I would do her hair and nails for her funeral, which I did but now that’s all I see when I close my eyes. My kids and husband see me hurting but I try to stay strong for them. Why does this death feel so much more intense then others. Any ideas I could try to process this all so I’m not putting extra emotions on my family. I do not want them worrying about me daily. I know she’s in a better place. I know she is not in pain or suffering but I miss my friend/sister.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I cope with losing my best friend?

Sit with the sadness. Feel the emotions. And know that you were the very best friend you could be and that she felt so loved by you.

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Cherish the memories. Talk to her. Scream & cry. Remember how much you both loved eachother. I am very sorry for your loss & the emptiness you now carry.

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I’m so sorry for your loss. I also lost my best friend of a life time to cancer last July and it’s a daily struggle. I just take it one day at a time. And try to keep busy to not think so much. I’ve lost so many important people in my life within a year and it sucks.

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They Have Support Groups for those mourning the loss of a loved one. Maybe try and seek one out . It may help​:heart::pray:

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U need a happy place as in ur thoughts, get lost in hearing her laughs

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I have no suggestions but I’m so so sorry I can’t even imagine this life without my best friend :disappointed:

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I would encourage you to pray a lot :heart: I lost one of my best friends to murder five years ago and was alone with my babies when I heard the news. It was so painful I can’t describe it. The only way I found comfort was Jesus. I am grateful to know that my friend knew Christ and we would see each other again on the other side of eternity. I still cry at birthdays and holidays and basically any special occasion that is bittersweet because he isn’t there to experience it with us. He didn’t get to meet my youngest child and never got to be married or have children either. I feel the pain when I need to but I don’t let myself linger too long. The first year was the hardest. Please pray and seek therapy if you need to :heart:

I’m so sorry… she was your soulmate and you’ve lost a special person. Time heals …:pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2:

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You did everything for your friend find peace and you will meet again

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Try going to work at a nursing home and helping those who have no one

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Grief Therapy and writing

I am there with you. I lost a best friend 2 years ago. We were besties since we met the first day of high school, 59 years earlier… We used to tease that we would go to the same nursing home so that we could sit together and make doilies… I miss her every day, I always will. She was a best friend, a sister, sometimes a BIG sister even though we were the same age, a therapist, a sidekick, a driver, a listener, and one of the kindest hearted people I will ever have known… I miss our long talks. Although as time went on, we lived thousands of miles apart, we would “cook and bake” together on speaker phone while preparing for holidays, etc. Our husbands used to tease that they could go out to Home Depot for hours and come home to find us still on the phone… and they told the truth! I too know that she is in a better place… She suffered from Alzheimer’s the last 2 or so years of her life but ironically she remembered me and all the details that made our friendship so special, even right up to the end… Nothing anyone can say or do that will make you feel better. What I have done is just to adopt her family a little better than before, supporting, loving and checking in on them when I can so that they know I care for them and for their special angel. Bless you for being there for your dear friend when she needed you the most. Sending up prayers and praises for you, dear. <3

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Oh, im sooo sorry. I, lost my great friend & neighbor to murder in 2017, im still broken & don’t think I’ll ever recover from it. Life is NOT the same & never will be, just keep the laughs & memories alive as best as you can. :muscle::purple_heart:

I lost my best friend and do my best to think about her not suffering anymore:) I’m sorry :disappointed: it’s so hard …sounds like you were the BEST friend she ever could have asked. For praying for u

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If your best friend was close to your age, that is why it’s affecting you so much,( you are questioning your own mortality) keep looking at a picture of her when she was enjoying life and hopefully eventually this is the picture of her that you will remember when you close your eyes. I have lost many close people
I’m my life and it’s not something you will get over anytime soon, if ever and that’s ok it just means you loved them and miss them. Just take it one day at a time and remember her in the happy times, certain days will always make you sad but eventually you will think of her and be able to laugh and smile.

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I lost my best friend of 41 years to cancer in 2020. Not one day goes by that I don’t ache to see her and hear her laugh. It gets a little easier, but let yourself grieve. I still cry. There’s no time limit on getting over it. Remember the fun stuff. I have photos of her in my office and I talk to her frequently. I’m sending you love.

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I experienced the exact same thing back in 2016. My best friend of 35 years died of breast cancer. It still hurts so very much. Just take things day-by-day and make an appointment with a professional if necessary.

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Grief is a process we all have to endure we can not escape it, my femily endured a month of 8 family members dying which included the passing of my mother, my grandparents were besides themselves you never bury your children before yourself, but we shared in our grief we talked about it as often as we needed too, don’t dismiss your family talk to them even your kids, they now their mummy is hurting and it frustrates them more cause they can’t help you unless you speak what’s in your heart, it’s ok to miss her that’s expected but plesse start talking to your family, your best friend wouldn’t want you feeling this remember her for who she was to you

I’m so so sorry. I know it’s a pain like no other losing your best friend. I lost mine bf of 41 years 11 months ago. We did so many things together. I look at her picture and can burst into tears or a song memories of things places we did.
Give it time. I stay connected to her children and grands. Helping them helps me. Good luck to you. Maybe get a journal write down things you did or talked about. Some day you can give it to her family.

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I’m so sorry to hear you lost a close friend. I don’t have much on advice but I offer you my prayers. There is no surefire remedy for grief just remember the good times :heart:

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It has been 11 years since my best friend died from ALS. It is hard. It gutted me. My advice? I picture her sitting with Jesus. And holding my baby who died. Smiling. It helps. Even though I miss her everyday and will always have a piece of my heart gone…I wouldn’t wish her back for anything.

I remember when my baby died……the Pastor talked about “Go where the child is”. I have never forgotten that. I will go to Heaven and be with them. Someday! So I love my loved ones left here and yearn for those in Heaven all the while knowing that someday I will “go where the child is”.

Also….not everyone is honored in life to have a best friend like you and I were. We were so incredibly blessed to experience that love and loyalty.
So no matter what know that you had something rare and beautiful.

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

When you close your eyes try and picture the happy moments. Picture her smiles. Remember some of the times that made you laugh until your stomach hurt.

Hugs. I’m so sorry.

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Do something in honor of her but spend time with your family cause she would want you to do that

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I’m not sure how recent this loss is, but maybe you just need to sit with the grief and let it move through you. There is nothing you can do to make the loss feeL better faster. I’m so sorry for your loss

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Plant a rose in her name and visit it as often as u like to remember yr friend.

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I know it’s hard to lose someone you love. Doing her hair and nails was one last bit of contact you had with her that makes it especially hard. I can only tell you to not try to pull away from the pain. Don’t wallow in it. But don’t pull away. That’s your mind engraving all the things that you loved about her, the memories that you had together on your heart and soul. You want them there. You will take them out during quiet moments like well loved photographs and look through them and the love will still be there, just as strong as ever. You will go on with your life and family. Your friend would want that. Be in touch with her family too. But remember, deep inside, your friend is there, and she’ll be waiting for you in Heaven to continue your journey together.

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Maybe you could volunteer somewhere,it might ease the pain, if you know you are making someone else feel a little bit better

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Time passing will help.

It takes time to process, my friend is gone for 2 years and I am still going through the grieving process. Pls give yourself time…

Grief counseling asap.
It can definitely help.

Where there was great grief there was great love :heart: one of my long time friends died this morning , sending hugs your way

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What is with all the spam comments admin??

Losing someone you care for is so hard. When I lost my dad as a child I kinda just went about the motions because everything was already decided for me but as an adult who has to care for children it can be debilitating. When I lost my baby I got super depressed. My therapist still says I’m depressed over 3 years later. It does it easier but you never forget them. I suggest doing things that honor your friend. I feel like it helps when I do crafts I know my dad would enjoy or make a cake for my babies birthday had my baby lived. I even donated the formula I had stocked up for my baby to a young women’s center in honor of my baby. I do have living children but one day I want to make a table set up for honoring my baby. Right now my living children talk about their sibling. It hurts but feels good at the same time.

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Did she have kids? In case she did, maybe you could spend time with them or take them out every once in a while? All the best! You’re an awesome friend.:100::two_hearts::two_hearts:

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Pray to God for healing…He can help you through…Your friend will alway be in your heart…:pray::pray::pray::blue_heart::green_heart::purple_heart: AMEN…:hibiscus::bouquet::blossom::cherry_blossom::rose:

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I am no help but I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry for your loss :disappointed:

Take your burdens
To The Lord and
Leave them there !
He has got this !!!

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So sorry for your loss. I couldn’t even imagine loosing my best friend. We have been friends for 20+ years also.

I’m sorry for your loss! My first thought is that you need to allow yourself to be selfish. You can’t put grief away- it will find you. It waits. This sounds very recent. Everyone grieves differently and every passing is unique. What sucks most is when it catches you off guard in your daily routine. I couldn’t get my grief loose if anyone was around.

Gosh, advice? Loss is so individual that maybe going through the comments something you read will help.

For me… I have to let it bleed. I work to accept the passing by saying goodbye. I have written goodbye letters. The pain felt like it would turn me inside out and I’ve begged God to take me home. Emotional pain can be felt physically. Anyway, what I’ve learned is once I’ve sobbed to the pit of my being… the tears dry. We cannot literally cry forever. Peace has come over me and each wave of emotion that follows isn’t as harsh. These waves may come for weeks or months. Healing was taking place. The feeling of loss then transitioned to a spiritual relationship with the individual. I said goodbye on earth and able to accept that even though I can’t see them their memory will remain with me. I’m a believer- so they went home. They are pain free in a grandiose place. My mind, spirit, and soul cannot comprehend the peace they are in now. I can only imagine!

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I too lost my best friend of almost 40 years. I loved her dearly and miss her every minute of everyday. It’s been 2 years the pain is still here, the tears still fall. With great grief, there was great love. Talking to someone and sharing memories helps.

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I lost my best friend of 19 years. June will be 6 years. She had just turned 29. I still struggle with it everyday. I feel a emptiness in my heart that I can’t seem to fill. I had my preemie son 2 weeks before she passed and I put it in God’s hands and Him and my son is what got me through it. It was one of the most hardest times in my life. I spent so many days and nights holding my son just crying because the pain was so intense. I really can’t tell you how to make it easier, other than just Pray about it, if you believe. That’s what I’ve always done and it’s the only thing that’s gotten me this far. I miss her everyday. And I still catch myself picking up my phone to call her. Prayers for you :pray::heart:

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You just need some time and maybe a counselor or therapist to help you through these rough moments